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Here's a couple with exactly the opposite poop problemquote:My SO and I both live on the edge of the city and commute 40 minutes to work in the city center. I usually wake up 20 minutes earlier than him to feed our animals, give them their medications, read my emails etc. I then take a quick shower and finish getting ready (makeup, etc.) at my desk. 15-20 minutes before we have to leave for work, he says he needs to poop and has to unplug the lighting where I'm getting ready...which unfortunately needs to plug into the bathroom(old, weirdly shaped apartment). This happens nearly every day. I have to stop what I'm doing for 10-15 minutes, so he can poop with the door closed. I then either don't have time to finish getting ready or am late to work.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 19:51 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 12:38 |
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Isn't this problem solved by power strip or extension cord or something?
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:16 |
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Lockback posted:Isn't this problem solved by power strip or extension cord or something? No you don't understand, their apartment is shaped weird.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:17 |
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Nazzadan posted:No you don't understand, their apartment is shaped weird. She should slip anti diarrhea pills in his food so he doesn't have to poo poo every single day. Alternatively he should poo poo at work since he's at least getting paid for it and not messing up his wife's morning routine by unplugging stuff.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:20 |
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the only power outlets are in the bathroom. theres a sea of cords draped all across their apartment
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:21 |
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Nazzadan posted:poo poo I don't remember if I posted any of these in the last thread. Lock the door how is this hard?
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:21 |
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Oh man I've been reading these on my lunch break and didn't know there was a new thread so this has been a fun trip through some classics. Berth Ell Pup
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:26 |
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bone app the teeth posted:the only power outlets are in the bathroom. theres a sea of cords draped all across their apartment I think they only own one single lamp and have to move it around from room to room, leaving most of the house in total darkness at all times.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:27 |
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quote:I'm currently on a camping trip with a small group of college friends. This group includes 4 girls and 4 guys including me. I've been crushing on one of the girls since we met at college and we're very good friends. We text each other a lot and it was actually her preference to share a tent with me. Naturally I was very happy about this because she's very cute and I like her. Btw, our tent has a divider that runs down the middle so you cannot see the person next to you, allowing for more privacy.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:28 |
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Next time she rubs one out he should scream that he's straight edge and lob a printer at her tent.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:31 |
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So are we doing a poop theme? My[M25] Girlfriend [F26] wants me to let her look at my poop quote:We've been dating for a little under a year and things have been going pretty well. Not as great lately, but pretty well. updates https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2o32i5/update_mym25_girlfriend_f26_wants_me_to_let_her/ more updates https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3dn9od/update2_mym25_girlfriend_f26_wants_me_to_let_her/ Update highlights - He has to text her when he poops at home. They go camping/hiking and she yells at him if he looks away while she shits in the woods. Bonzo fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Oct 4, 2016 |
# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:32 |
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Back out of the tent pretending to be a cat to hide your boner or she'll know what's going on and it may ruin your relationship if you acknowledge her loudly masturbating two feet away from you
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:33 |
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Aerox posted:I think they only own one single lamp and have to move it around from room to room, leaving most of the house in total darkness at all times. Sounds like the gimmick of a lovely indie horror game
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:34 |
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just activate the hilarious fart machine you've been saving all trip Bonzo posted:So are we doing a poop theme? if you break eye contact we're done
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:35 |
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is it just me or does this seem like a fairly obvious signal to him that he's just completely missing Bonzo posted:They go camping/hiking and she yells at him if he looks away while she shits in the woods. so uh y'know how the theme of your SO doing cutesy talk making your vag shrivel up came up earlier in the thread well, I think I've figured out an equivalent loquacius fucked around with this message at 20:42 on Oct 4, 2016 |
# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:40 |
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loquacius posted:is it just me or does this seem like a fairly obvious signal to him that he's just completely missing
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:45 |
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I'm the guy who wants to anal my girl and also get pegged but won't poop at my girl's place. There's a certain dichotomy here that I just don't get. The rest is just over the top weird, though. And guy with masturbating tent buddy - she wants it bro, put the printer down and up your game, yeeesh. alternatively, complain on reddit and cockblock yourself for my amusement.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:50 |
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:It seems like it's out of a comedy movie, I can only imagine the nonverbal cues that the guy totally missed while she said "did you hear me last night". It sounds like what middle school me would daydream as the most awesome thing that could ever happen.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:52 |
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Bonzo posted:So are we doing a poop theme?
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 20:59 |
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Sometimes I think sex ed really would lead to more kids having more sex, because the alternative is apparently that guys miss signs like "was touching self next to you making sexual noises and moaning" and instead think, oh no!! She doesn't realize!!!!!! Real question, what the hell is the standard for an unambiguous sign? Like have you got to whip out the whole business?
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:09 |
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Saying "we should bone in our tent tonight" or something similar seems like it'd be pretty foolproof It's been a while since I was an oblivious teenager but after masturbating loudly fails twice in a row I'd think plain English would be plan B. Maybe combine them, get him all worked up with sex noises and then say "reddit user, I know you can loving hear me in there, are we gonna gently caress or what"
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:13 |
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loquacius posted:Saying "we should bone in our tent tonight" or something similar seems like it'd be pretty foolproof
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:16 |
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Khorne posted:She wants him to take the initiative and has done everything short of suspending herself from the tent ceiling with her legs spread for him to accidentally walk his dick into her. oh my god like a spider
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:17 |
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Khorne posted:She wants him to take the initiative and has done everything short of suspending herself from the tent ceiling with her legs spread for him to accidentally walk his dick into her. worked out pretty well for her
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:18 |
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I can't wait to tune in tomorrow and find out how he sperged his way out of this sure thing, assuming blatantly ignoring it three nights in a row hasn't gotten him there yet
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:20 |
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Dial-a-Dog posted:I can't wait to tune in tomorrow and find out how he sperged his way out of this sure thing, assuming blatantly ignoring it three nights in a row hasn't gotten him there yet he'll be friends with her four years later and she will still be wondering what the gently caress happened
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:23 |
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There was a reddit thread like a month ago about a girl who hadn't pooped in five weeks, I think she'd be a great girlfriend for both of the other problem poopers ITT.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:24 |
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Dial-a-Dog posted:I can't wait to tune in tomorrow and find out how he sperged his way out of this sure thing, assuming blatantly ignoring it three nights in a row hasn't gotten him there yet Guy misses a sure thing like Larry David. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jay8RAwE0iE
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:25 |
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When I hear my crush masturbating right next to me, I: Go outside and sit in the cold, windswept grass, frozen in terror until the sun comes up.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:27 |
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:At one point she got loud enough for me to hear fully and it felt like an eternity. I left the tent to get some cold fresh air and sat on the grass for 10 minutes He's getting up and walking out of the tent, while she is right there tweaking it. She knows he heard her. I've gotta imagine that even a super-timid person could muster up "psst. hey. um, want to have sex?"
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:34 |
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Pick posted:he'll be friends with her four years later and she will still be wondering what the gently caress happened *posts angrily about the Friend Zone and how this girl never gave him a chance*
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:35 |
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This poor girl probably thinks she's getting friendzoned herself "Dear Reddit, I masturbated loudly right next to my crush in our tent three nights in a row and he kept literally running away why doesn't he like me"
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:38 |
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Dial-a-Dog posted:This poor girl probably thinks she's getting friendzoned herself no poo poo And since women aren't "supposed" to be the ones slinging their vaginas all over the shop, woooooooo boy it is humiliating
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:41 |
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Be the change you want to see in the world then, smash the patriarchy I definitely sperged my way out of several sure things as a teenager, because my self esteem was so low in my formative years that the idea someone could possibly actually want to mess around with me took a while to seem plausible. Hearing it in plain English would have helped speed things along.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:43 |
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Help, my[24m] girlfriend[23f] just discovered black metal and it scares me!quote:I've been with my girlfriend for 7 years, and everything was great for the longest time. But a few years ago she started being really obsessed with heavy metal (which is something I never liked that much). Some of her friends were into it, so I was like, okay, great. I don't mind what kind of music people listen to. But things started getting weird.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:45 |
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this guy is never gonna score lol
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:45 |
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Oh man I like this boy how can I get his attention??? Maybe I could say "hey I like you" to him? No way that's crazy!!! Better just go to town masturbating in the tent, that'll do it.
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:53 |
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im gonna poo poo in his tent
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:55 |
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Chomp8645 posted:Oh man I like this boy how can I get his attention??? Masturbating in the tent is somehow more acceptable than just saying that because of the patriarchy
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:56 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 12:38 |
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Chomp8645 posted:Oh man I like this boy how can I get his attention??? Haha yeah it's definitely weird, but I'm assuming there was probably other stuff the dude wrote off or ignored and this was her hail Mary pass
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# ? Oct 4, 2016 21:57 |