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May 9, 2024 07:10
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- Lunchmeat Larry
- Nov 3, 2012
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quote:It's not the sphincter as much as the area around the anal opening itself, for example a girl might have a very distinctive pattering around her rear end in a top hat that stick out like a sore thumb, or maybe a more subtle sensual creamy color patina, regardless if you spend enough time gazing upon an anus it's not too far of a stretch to memorize it like a gorgeous renaissance fresco and wait for the opportune moment to bellow "I know that anus! I have it memorized completely!" and identifying your love from a random photo on the internet. For example, I was able to identify my older sister from a picture of her rear end in a top hat I saw on 4chan, and although I never told her, I still find solace in the fact that the simple JPEG brought the memory of her anus in its entirety to the front of my brain just like that.
this account is probably performance art but I don't care it's magnificent
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Oct 5, 2016 02:42
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- ziasquinn
- Jan 1, 2006
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Fallen Rib
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Guy is a bad writer
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Oct 5, 2016 02:54
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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She knew I admired her figure, and was always quick to let me run sunscreen or lotion on her and maybe even "accidently" grab her boob and she'd laugh and giggle and I'd run off to the nearest bathroom or portajohn to rub one out so it was quite a healthy and happy sibling relationship. I knew from careful observation and the occasional foray into her trash can and hamper that she was indeed sexually active
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Oct 5, 2016 03:24
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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quote:
TL;DR Husband wakes up at 5:00, waking me up when I've had less than 6 hours of sleep. Separate rooms, ear plugs, soundproofing, but I still can't get a full night's sleep. I am so loving tired.
My husband of 1 year, together 4 years, wakes up at 5:00 in order to be at work by 7:00; I wake up around 7:00 and arrive at work around 9:00, sometimes later. We are both in academia so our schedules are somewhat flexible if we don't have to teach a class or be in a meeting. We did not have this schedule while dating so this is a new issue.
He arrives home around 19:00 consistently and I'll arrive anywhere between 18:00 and 21:00 depending on my workload and if I have an evening class/meeting. He goes to sleep late; I go to sleep early. He can survive on 5 hours of sleep but I need at least 7, preferably 8 or 9. If I wanted to get my full allotment of sleep, I'd have to go to bed at 21:00 or earlier every night.
We sleep in separate rooms, I wear earplugs, we've put down carpets and soundproofing tape, and he is very quiet, but I still get woken up by him in the morning. (I suspect it is not noise but the pressure change when opening and closing doors that wakes me up.) I can't go to sleep any earlier than 22:00 consistently and he prefers not to shift his work schedule since I'd be asleep by the time he got home. He has tried leaving when I do but it seriously affected his productivity. Short of having separate apartments (which we are now discussing), is there anything else we can do? I burst into tears at 5:05 this morning after being woken up. I really need some uninterrupted sleep.
Brings me back to my college days when my roommate was a horrendous snorer. I adapted, but reading this seems like this poor lady has more deep seated problems. Or, crazy. You decide!
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Oct 5, 2016 03:34
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- Drunk Nerds
- Jan 25, 2011
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Just close your eyes
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Fun Shoe
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So, regarding the confusing one about the woman whose fiancé got gay married for convenience...
Another weird aspect is that she's 25, has been with BF since she was 20, yet has a 4 year old child? She doesn't mention it's his kid... How..: how does that work, was this relationship founded upon a cuckold pregnancy?
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Oct 5, 2016 03:41
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- Tiny Deer
- Jan 16, 2012
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So, regarding the confusing one about the woman whose fiancé got gay married for convenience...
Another weird aspect is that she's 25, has been with BF since she was 20, yet has a 4 year old child? She doesn't mention it's his kid... How..: how does that work, was this relationship founded upon a cuckold pregnancy?
While her fiance was struggling with his sexuality (or is just bisexual) he knocked up a woman (the OP) by and they started dating immediately afterwards 'for the kid'. Now he's married his boyfriend but is trying to keep the mother of his child in a relationship with him because ???
I admit it's a weird one.
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Oct 5, 2016 05:09
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- Panfilo
- Aug 27, 2011
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EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
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If she wears earplugs and the guy puts down soundproofing tape, carpets, sleeps in a different room and tiptoes around the house like sylvester the cat lol I think you'll be living alone forever lady.
Not gonna find someone who takes it that far unless you're living in separate houses.
This sounds like my mom. She is an incredibly light sleeper and even closing a door quietly in the house will startle her awake. My stepdad snored pretty bad. So something had to give.
She made him sleep in the attic.
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Oct 5, 2016 05:44
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- HiHo ChiRho
- Oct 23, 2010
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This really excites my Roosevelt's dontcha know
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Oct 5, 2016 07:24
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- Pannus
- Mar 14, 2004
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So, regarding the confusing one about the woman whose fiancé got gay married for convenience...
Another weird aspect is that she's 25, has been with BF since she was 20, yet has a 4 year old child? She doesn't mention it's his kid... How..: how does that work, was this relationship founded upon a cuckold pregnancy?
She does say he's the father.
quote:
It's one thing that he married his friend, but he's also the father of my son, so Jack'll be in my life at least until our son is 18.
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Oct 5, 2016 12:13
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- Tender Bender
- Sep 17, 2004
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What gets me is so many threads are like "We've been together for five years, and things are going great, except for this: I only see him for about four hours a week. When we're apart, he refuses to contact me in any way, even over text. When I do see him, he's rude, belittles me, and is usually on his phone the whole time. How can I change this?"
Then when someone in the comments says "OP why are you with this guy?" they say "Well like I said we're pretty much perfect together aside from this one issue."
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Oct 5, 2016 13:07
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Can you guess the ages?
I [27/F] yelled at my husband [35/M] of 8 years, over dental hygiene
quote:
We have always struggled with dental hygiene. His is bad. There have been times I get into the car when he has been sitting in it alone for a while and almost throw up because it smells like something died. I started getting really naggy about it after I suffered a few gum infections and learned his hygiene can affect mine. No matter how I nagged, most often than not he would go to bed without brushing or flossing, then wake up horny and want to stick his tongue in my mouth.
Every time I got an infection I tried to explain how important it is for us to both practice dental hygiene, and every time it lapsed on his end. We would have sex, and a couple days later I would be in pain. It has gotten to the cycle now where 1 out of 3 times we have sex, I get a dental infection, go to the dentist for care and deal with a few weeks of pain. The last time was the worst with two followup visits and the possibility of a major operation happening.
So tonight when my mouth started aching and I remembered the heavy making out a couple days ago with me trying to not comment about his breath, I lost it. I sped home and I screamed at him. I yelled that his breath was nasty, that I'm tired of him sticking his disgusting tongue down my throat without bothering to give a poo poo about what he's doing to me, and that he is a complete dick for thinking he is too special to bother brushing his teeth.
He didn't say anything back. He just went upstairs and brushed his teeth with me, and the rest of the evening was spent in awkward silence.
We don't yell at eat other. This is a first. I don't want to apologize because I felt sincerely that I am at the end of an abusive behavior of his that needs to stop. I want to apologize because we don't yell at each other. Every time we have talked about this before it hasn't worked, so after all these years I felt I had to create a major incident to convey how terrible this experience is for me.
I just want him to brush his loving teeth, floss, use mouthwash. Do it a few times a day. If he wants to have sex, just brush floss and mouthwash. To me that is a very sexy thing. I'm tired of being responsible with my hygiene and suffering because he isn't. It ruins sex. I spend a lot of time in pain several times a year because of this situation. I am scared to have sex but feel guilt tripped into sex when I don't want it because marriage includes sex even if his breath is poo poo and his mouth literally hurts me.
I am thinking of setting up a teeth brush calendar per week, with 3 checks per day to check off a full brush, floss, and mouth wash morning, afternoon, evening.
TLDR: getting oral infections from husband's poor dental hygiene. After years of failed talks over it, finally yelled at him about it tonight out of the blue. Trying to find a solution that works and won't cause relationship friction or resentments.
9 out of 10 dentists agree, stop giving your wife dental infections with your rotting infectious mouth.
EDIT
Apparently this is today's theme. I had no idea this was such a rampant thing. Brushing your loving teeth just always seemed like common sense to me but what do I know.
Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of a year, should I ask him to brush his teeth?
quote:
My boyfriend showers daily and generally has a good hygiene except for one thing. He NEVER brush his teeth at night. In the beginning I thought he just forgot from time to time but now ive come to realize that he only brushes his teeth in the morning.
Now when I know what I know I feel kind of grossed out. If I'm too tired to brush my teeth before going to bed I can barely stand how my mouth feels in the morning and he lives like this EVERY DAY.
We have never talked about this ever but Ive started to avoid kissing him in the morning before he brushes his teeth and its working fine which is why im hesitant about telling him. Since it doesnt really affect me unless he breathes on me during the night or something. I also dont like it when he kisses my body in the morning since I know he hasnt brushed his teeth in 24h but I dont know if I should take up the subject or how I should approach it.
tl;dr: Bf doesnt brush his teeth in the evening, do I say something?
DOMDOM fucked around with this message at 13:36 on Oct 5, 2016
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Oct 5, 2016 13:27
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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It seems like it's out of a comedy movie, I can only imagine the nonverbal cues that the guy totally missed while she said "did you hear me last night".
She was pointing at her vagina and making a vigorous rubbing motion but thank god it turns out she was just talking about a coyote that howled or something.
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Oct 5, 2016 14:28
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- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
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Just like Mama used to make it!
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My [27M] first serious girlfriend [21F] is intersex and it's putting a massive strain on our relationship
quote:Brevity is not my strength, but I'll try to be succinct here. Long story short, I've always been a very shy and awkward guy and never had a non-online relationship before my current girlfriend. We've been dating for about seven months and for the most part, things have been great. However, the fact that my girlfriend is intersex has caused a lot of stress in our relationship.
After my girlfriend was born, her parents essentially chose the gender she'd be raised as. They chose wrong. They tried to her as a boy and as such, shortly after birth, she had surgery to remove her female genitalia, meaning that she can never have children. Forgive me if I'm explaining this poorly, as I'm not terribly familiar with the science of all of this, so I'm just doing the best I can.
This has given my girlfriend huge confidence issues to the point where she can't even watch TV shows or movies with any female sexuality in them because it will make her feel so bad about her, as she sees them, physical inadequacies. She has huge self-confidence issues and sometimes sees herself a hideous freak of nature who will never be loved.
We took the sexual side of our relationship slowly before she finally worked up the courage to allow me to touch her genitals. This went on a bit of a time, with both of us touching each other, until there was maybe a few weeks long period during which I didn't touch her. I didn't think much of it, but maybe it was just me being a selfish rear end in a top hat sexually or maybe it was me being my awkward self and just getting nervous about touching her. Whatever it was, she picked up on and started questioning why I don't touch her and I never really had any answer for her. This lead to a few fights between us, including ones when she would just repeatedly say to me that I should just leave her and find someone better.
I do love her. She understands me in ways that I never thought another person could. But she constantly says things like she always feels like she's not good enough for anyone, myself included. And I feel awful about that because I've just worsened that sentiment by not touching her, by just adding to the list of people and incidents that have her feel like she's a freak. And I never wanted that.
Over the past few weeks, I've tried touching her, but she's literally, physically stopped me from doing so. She thinks I must be doing it out pity, not because I truly want to. I want to make her happy. I wanted to make her feel loved and wanted, but sometimes it's so hard to do that because she so deeply believes that she doesn't deserve to be loved.
I do not want to leave her. At all. And if I ever did, I feel as though there's a not insignificant chance that she would kill herself. And I could never live with myself it that ever happened. I feel as though I've become her emotional crutch and I don't know if she could even function without me at this point. So I'm just really unsure what to do.
My girlfriend has anxiety issues, clinical depression and couple those with the self-image issues stemming her from being intersex, she is constantly so down on herself and I don't know how to make her see that she truly is beautiful. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even the right person to do that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bad for her and I'm only making things worse for her by causing her even more pain.
Pardon me if I sound ignorant but how do you "remove female genitalia" from a baby? Was this kid born a hermaphrodite? I understand female circumcision but that's not done on babies or toddlers and cultures that practice this don't choose their child's gender.
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Oct 5, 2016 14:34
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Intersex is the PC word for hermaphrodite, but it's more complicated than that. It's not black & white and there are a variety of manifestations. It's sort of a catchall for any variety of birth abnormality that includes male & female parts, be it internal and/or external.
Female circumcision is completely unrelated and done to remove all the pleasure of sex and, in many cases makes the act painful, because otherwise women would be far too promiscuous, according to backwards male dominated cultures.
NPR had an interesting podcast that featured a Pakistani woman who was born into an Islamic sect that practiced this. Trigger warning: It's sad.
DOMDOM fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Oct 5, 2016
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Oct 5, 2016 14:53
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- Tender Bender
- Sep 17, 2004
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My [18M] Girlfriend [18F] of almost two years broke up with me... Says she wants to move on without me. Is it true?
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Oct 5, 2016 14:55
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Want to feel better about your own broken lives?
quote:
32F with "boyfriend" for 2.5 years, and its not going well.
We have primarily a text based relationship, and only see each other on weekends. It's me going to see him, as he does not have a license. We have not said "I love you" to each other. We do not have sex, as he doesn't like it. Cuddling and kissing have ceased as well.
I tried talking to him about this over a year ago. He said he would try, nothing has changed. It was like pulling teeth getting him to talk about it.
He casually stated he is "never getting married", which I hope for someday, and he knows this.
I bought a house, and am now living alone. We have not lived together, as he's "never living with anyone".
I feel like we're only friends, if that.
How do I end this relationship? I hate confrontation and would prefer things just fizzle out to be honest.
I feel so used and my confidence has plummeted. Why have I stayed this long?
Sorry for the throwaway account- anonymity just in case.
tl;dr: Want to break up with "boyfriend" as we don't have a fulfilling relationship anymore- how?
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Oct 5, 2016 15:23
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- Panfilo
- Aug 27, 2011
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EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
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If he's not getting laid, I really wonder what the guy is getting out of this. Does she cook for him? Pay his bills? How old is this guy to not have a license, sixteen? (probably)
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Oct 5, 2016 15:27
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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My [27M] first serious girlfriend [21F] is intersex and it's putting a massive strain on our relationship
Pardon me if I sound ignorant but how do you "remove female genitalia" from a baby? Was this kid born a hermaphrodite? I understand female circumcision but that's not done on babies or toddlers and cultures that practice this don't choose their child's gender.
The person had...uhhh poo poo why am I blanking here, I think the technical term is "ambiguous genitalia"? Doctors still tend to try to surgically map the child to one genital appearance or the other, and the practice used to be even commoner.
There's a lot of pressure to surgically drive people towards some tacit understanding of "normal", even if it's not really possible or ethical to try. It really is cruel and sidesteps the real issue instead of addressing it.
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Oct 5, 2016 15:55
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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My [27F] bf [28M] is a 9/11 truther...reason for concern?
quote:I have been going out with Daniel for about a year now and things have been going great. He is really an amazing guy; brings me flowers every once in a while, helps volunteer at a few local shelters, and understands me like no previous partner has, to name a few things.
The "catch" is that I recently saw him browsing reddit on parts related to 9/11 "truther" claims. He wasn't posting but just browsing posts about how it was an inside job, the commission report was a cover-up, etc.
I was pretty shocked and asked him if he believed that stuff. He jokingly said that he didn't wear any tinfoil hats or anything but did examine the evidence and found that the official story was lacking. He said that in light of the gulf of tonkin, etc. the official story should be put to scrutiny. He referred me to "the evidence that changed his mind" and it didn't look like Illuminati stuff or other crazies so I was pretty surprised. He said that that stuff shouldn't dictate our relationship but we could talk about it more if I wanted. This seemed pretty reasonable but I was still a little wary of the "truther" association.
I told one of my girlfriends about it and she got really concerned like I just told her that Dan strangled a puppy or something. I told her some of the arguments he made but she didn't even address them and said that I was getting deceived. Basically she said that the fact that he believes the conspiracy theories (which I thought was kind of unfair characterization of his position) is proof that he is of unsound mind. At this point I was really confused so I told her I needed some time to think about it.
How should I proceed? Is my friend right to where this is a big enough issue to end the relationship? Dan doesn't think so and says that he is willing to stay with me even if I don't accept the evidence, although seeing it from him perspective "would make him so happy."
tl;dr: Found my bf on 9/11 truther forums. It actually seems legit but one of my friends thinks that it's dangerous. How to proceed?
This title should have been My[27F] bf[28M] is a 9/11 truther...and talked me into being one too??
And now the opposite issue
Boyfriend wants to end our relationship over disagreement on what happened during 9/11. Reddit please help me.
quote:I am 24 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for 9 months today actually but we've known each other for about 2 years. We get along great...barely fight, are madly in love with each other and treat each other with the utmost respect. I moved out to Arizona to be with him and we are just really happy. Until today...
We don't agree on what caused 9/11. I believe it was an inside job and he doesnt...he really doesnt. I have never seen him the way I saw him today. He told me that I have a weak mind and he can't believe I was stupid enough to be brainwashed by conspiracy theorists. He couldnt even come near me and said that if I dont re-evaluate my believes and my opinion on the matter then he can't be with me anymore. He said he couldnt even look at me. It was like he wasnt even the same person.
Now Im not one to ever change my opinion about something because of someone else but Im not sure if I want to end our relationship over something so trivial. We have very different views on politics and religion and we can discuss those fine with nobody getting upset. Its just I guess I touched on something very sensitive here. I dont know what to do...and I promise promise promise I am not a troll and I know it's a coincidence that this happened today but we never discussed this before. I am so heartbroken and Im afraid he'll never be able to look at me the same again. I dont want to break up and we are perfect for each other in ever other single way.
And the top comment
quote:Both of you are idiots. Nazzadan fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Oct 5, 2016
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Oct 5, 2016 16:27
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- library cat
- Feb 12, 2016
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My [23f] new bf [27m] of 3 months is either a disney character, crazy, or a liar.
quote:
Theres no non-awkward way to say this, my bf has an eagle living at his house. The first time I went over he warned me not to freak out because it might be inside the house when we walked in. I thought he was joking because people don't really own birds like that, but he told me it was real and he doesn't really own it, that it comes and goes as it pleases and is more of a "friend".
He leaves the window open all the time because it likes to come inside. He's not worried about people breaking in because he lives out in the country and the bird is very territorial. He said he's trained it to not mess up his house or go to the bathroom inside.
I think he's freaking nuts. The bird is huge, like 3 feet tall, and he has to use gloves to handle it because it's claws are sharp. I think it's incredibly dangerous, but he said he's been "friends" with the bird since he was 10. That he just started feeding it one day and it would hang around him. His parents tried to get it to go away but it lived on their roof, eventually they just accepted it.
The bird makes me very uncomfortable. When I'm over at his place it just sort of stares at me, my bf says it's ok because it can tell he likes me. That it's no more dangerous than a dog. He jokingly said "if it wanted to attack you, it would have already", which did NOT help.
The whole thing just seems so weird, I feel like he has to be lying about something. His parents tell the same story he does though. At the very least it seems crazy to keep the bird around, or to let it in the house. Am I over-reacting? Is this a deal breaker or should I just learn to deal with it? My bf is great otherwise.
tl;dr: My bf has an eagle as a "friend" and let's it come into the house. Is this dangerous? Is this crazy or a deal breaker?
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Oct 5, 2016 16:34
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- Meme Poker Party
- Sep 1, 2006
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by Azathoth
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My boyfriend specifically said he doesn't believe the conspiracy theories and only thinks the situation should be prudently scrutinized. He doesn't think it's a big deal and is talking calmly and rationally about it.
Is he a CRAZY CONSPIRACY THEORIST!?
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Oct 5, 2016 16:36
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- Lunchmeat Larry
- Nov 3, 2012
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My [23f] new bf [27m] of 3 months is either a disney character, crazy, or a liar.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:38
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- library cat
- Feb 12, 2016
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My (18F) boyfriend (20M) of 1 year sexting other girls and lying that it's just part of a "meme".
quote:
I've been dating this guy almost a year and he's been really great to me but he still flirts with other girls sometimes especially when we're out or he's drinking and I've told him it makes me uncomfortable and gotten mad at him so he'll stop for a bit but in a month he's doing it again.
So he has all these girls he's met at various places, parties, high school, through his friends, says are just friends and I believe him because he really doesn't have time to cheat he's been working all summer and spending most nights with me since I have my own place for the first time. But they'll text him sometimes and it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like he goes along with them and doesn't care that they're borderline flirting with him. I wanted to trust him to tell them off if they crossed the line but I have a hard time doing that and now I found out he's been flirting back, and actually sexting and sending them pics. I opened his photo gallery on his phone to see some selfies he took of us earlier today and I saw a ton of dick pics in there that he'd never sent me so I wondered why he had all these dick pics, because I thought of all these random girls that text him and had a horrible feeling. I checked his messages and there were like half a dozen girls he'd been messaging and I read the first couple and it's flirty texts about "I'm so bored lol wish we could hang out" "oh yeah what would you want to do if we hang out  " and that sort of thing hinting at sex. Once the conversation turned sexual he sent them pictures of his boner. These texts were from various times in the past couple weeks so it's not like he's sexting chicks all day but I just don't get why he needs to do it at all, we have a very good sex life.
He was in the shower when this happened and when he came out I was visibly upset so I confronted him when he asked what was wrong and asked why he was doing this. He tried to tell me I must have looked at the wrong messages and the dick pics I saw were his texts to me but it was not, I know the texts I saw and I opened my phone anyway to our texts and said he hadn't sent me any of the pics I saw in his gallery. Then he seemed to suddenly remember which pics and was like "Oh yeah that's not what you think, it's just this meme" and he told me about the "dicks out for Harambe" meme which I already knew about but he's totally full of poo poo and I said so, he wasn't talking about the meme in those texts and even if so who would literally send someone their dick because of that like I'm not stupid.
I told him to leave for the night so I could think. I don't want to give up on what we have but after so many times of telling him it's uncomfortable to me when he's chatting up other people when we're out or talking to random girls, let alone sexting, and being just brushed off, I feel like he doesn't think it's serious and doesn't care. Should I just accept that this is who he is and learn to deal with it or should I move on? The rational part of me says the second, and plus maybe I'm overreacting but I don't WANT to have to just deal with him carrying on mini-flirtations with other women when I feel like him having my love and attention should be enough.
TL;DR caught boyfriend sending dick pics to girls and trying to convince me it was platonic joking about the "dicks out for Harambe" meme, on other public occasions he's hit on women in front of me, pretty sure he's not cheating (yet?) but also pretty sure I can do better, right?
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Oct 5, 2016 16:39
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- Gaunab
- Feb 13, 2012
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LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
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My [23f] new bf [27m] of 3 months is either a disney character, crazy, or a liar.
I can picture them making out on the couch then her opening her eyes to see the eagle just staring at them.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:40
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- Meme Poker Party
- Sep 1, 2006
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by Azathoth
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How can you not be impressed by a man who is so at one with nature that he tames and coexists with wild beasts? And solitary predators at that.
He has the Heart of the Wild. Few men can display such raw masculinity.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:41
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- Dial-a-Dog
- May 22, 2001
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I'd marry a girl who pulled some beastmaster poo poo and had an "eagle friend", but then again I'm a weirdo who really likes birds so
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Oct 5, 2016 16:46
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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Two parter coming through
My [24M] girlfriend [24F] went way too far pranking her male friend [24M] and now I'm wondering if the pranks are flirtation after all.
quote:My girlfriend of 2 years has had this male friend for a while, his name is Declan and I'm not his biggest fan but I didn't want to impede on the friendship. So she told me last week that Declan pranked her by calling her up and pretending to be Jack Nicholson with one of those soundboards, so she wants to 'get him back.' So as a 'joke' the next time we were over at his place she used his landline to call a sex hotline that charged by the minute and then just left the phone there. Declan gets charged like $200 for it.
So Declan strikes back at her again (at this point they're still just being "goofy" and I don't really mind). He comes over to her place for a party she was throwing, then hides this creepy decapitated doll in her closet. She finds it, freaks out, but then starts laughing.
Now she wants to prank Declan even harder, so she knows he's scared of clowns and she literally makes this giant paper mache clown statue that's hollow on the inside. She wants to put it in his house (apparently his roommate will let her in or something) then hide in it all night and then pop out of it as soon as he notices it.
So, I tell her this seems a little extreme but she does it anyway. Fast forward to that night. I get a call from my girlfriend because Declan apparently punched her in the face as soon as he saw her pop out of the clown thing, totally as a knee-jerk reaction because he didn't know it was her. Her nose wound up getting broken, she had to go to the hospital.
Now she's fine (although she is still wearing a splint) but she wants to continue pranking Declan. At this point should I put my foot down? She is actually getting injured and it makes me wonder if she just likes being around him so much that she is using the pranks as an excuse.
tl;dr: Girlfriend is in "prank war" with her best male friend, is it leading up to an emotional affair?
Update post
quote:I talked to my girlfriend about Declan and I told her that the pranks are getting dangerous, and she is unreasonably close to a guy she's only known for such a short amount of time (she refers to him as "her brother" and her "BFF" but it's literally been 5 months).
I thought she would react in a mature way, but instead she said (almost word for word): "This is why I am always pranking Declan. At least Declan has a good sense of humor. I wouldn't even need to hang out with Declan if you weren't so uptight." So, at least now I have confirmation that she hangs out with Declan specifically because she thinks I am not good enough.
We wind up having a screaming match, and the door rings so she goes to get it. It's this guy in a giant gorilla costume, who barges in and starts humping all our furniture. Immediately I assume it's loving Declan, so I (keep in mind I was already extremely angry) punch him in the face.
He takes off the mask, it's Declan's roommate Chad. Apparently Declan paid Chad $100 to scare us in the gorilla suit as a diversion, because he was right behind Chad. While Chad was humping our furniture, Declan snuck into our bedroom and put ham underneath the mattress cover.
So I tell both of these dudes to get the gently caress out and stop pranking us. I thought I was finally standing up to Declan when finally my girlfriend tells me that the prank was "hilarious" and she's going to give me time to cool off. She leaves with Chad and Declan, and keep in mind Chad's nose is still bleeding and he's wearing the gorilla suit.
I haven't heard from her yet today, but I saw her post a picture of a bagel on Instagram this morning so I know she's awake. I still don't know where she slept last night or what happened with Declan.
I want to break up because I'm so angry but weirdly enough I still really love her (I can't help it) and I don't want to waste two years.
tl;dr: Girlfriend's annoying male friend pulled a stupid prank on us, girlfriend got mad at me for not finding it funny and left the apartment with him
EDIT: Looks like I am dumping her tonight. EDIT2: I will update again after I dump her
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Oct 5, 2016 16:47
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May 9, 2024 07:10
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Having an eagle friend is amazing.
Pranks are also fun, to a god damned point, and that point is way earlier than putting down hundreds of dollars to make fake clowns and invade homes with gorillas and ham.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:51
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Oct 5, 2016 02:33
PEPSI for TV-GAME
