/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

She'd be sick at .30. Puking. He's pretty oblivious if he didn't notice her being drunk af. She'd reek of booze.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:44

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# ? May 9, 2024 13:22

yoloer420: May 19, 2006

Guy needs to chill out, nothing wrong with having a few drinks occasionally

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:22

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

99% chance she got shitfaced and cheated on him but doesn't want to admit it

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:33

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Tolkien minority posted:

99% chance she got shitfaced and cheated on him but doesn't want to admit it

Probably. I'm assuming she was just getting poured heavy drinks and had 6 cocktails but with multiple shots in them.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:43

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

.120 Vomiting usually occurs (unless this level is reached slowly or a person has developed a tolerance to alcohol).
.150 Balance and movement are impaired. At this BAC. level an equivalent of 1/2 pint of whiskey is circulating in the blood stream.
.150-.25 Most people begin to experience blackouts
.300 Many people lose consciousness.
.400 Most people lose consciousness and some die.
.450 Breathing stops. This is a fatal dose for most people.

I'd bet she chugged those 2 drinks before bed and it caught up with her when she was already passed out, but clearly the girl has some tolerance to get that high. I'm calling closet alcy and mister 37M is just insanely oblivious to all the signs.

Also, banging yoga instructor.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:08

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

scrubs season six posted:

It's possible I had a sheltered Midwest upbringing but I never did circle jerks nor naked boner waggling when I was a kid.

I actually went to my neighbor's house once as a kid with another kid (I was 11 and they were maybe 13) and the kid put his dads porno on the TV and then the other kid dared him to jerk it. Then he did, behind a pillow. Then he jumped out and waggled his dick in my face and I kicked him.

It was not cool.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:26

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Men are insane

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:27

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:30

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

when I was like 10 I was over at my friend's house with a few other guys and he excitedly made us watch his older brother (13 or 14) get a lil chubby while looking at whatever pornish pictures he could find on kazaa. the little brother was basically being a boner hype man and getting way too into it and we were all like "uhhh okay we're gonna go play the xbox now"

later in life they shared a teddy bear which they hosed and also they independently took to beating up their mum. Italians

# ? Oct 7, 2016 00:20

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

My [27/f] with my husband [25/m] : he tells me he hates me everyday.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 00:22

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Tolkien minority posted:

My [27/f] with my husband [25/m] : he tells me he hates me everyday.

Honesty like that means their relationship is stable

# ? Oct 7, 2016 00:24

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Tolkien minority posted:

My [27/f] with my husband [25/m] : he tells me he hates me everyday.

and people are saying men are oblivious

# ? Oct 7, 2016 00:37

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Pick posted:

Men are insane

You honestly have no idea what testosterone does to your brain.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 00:45

Adventure Pigeon: Nov 8, 2005; I am a master storyteller.

I liked this one

quote:

My[24M] fiancee[25F] wants me to cut my brother[26M] off because he dosed her friends with LSD.[new]

Kind of a hosed up situation but here goes. Fiancee and I have been together for 6 years. She has two friends, Stacy and Greg, who are a couple. Stacy and Greg are generally good people, but Stacy has a tendency to turn into a bit of a bitch when she drinks.

A few weeks ago, we were at a party and my brother was over. I'm not too exact on the details, but apparently he got into an argument with Stacy, and she just started insulting him, this led Greg getting involved and insults being hurled from both sides there as well. Apprently Stacy threw a drink in my brother face and slapped him, but there was nothing else that happened other than them all shittalking for while.

Ok so a week ago we were all at this cultural event, it was like a banquet type of thing, so we were all sitting at the same table. At some point in the night, we looked over and Stacy and Greg were just gone without warning. We tried calling them throughout the night but couldn't get into contact with them.

The next day my girlfriend called Stacy to ask her what happened, and apparently Stacy was very shaken up and seemed hosed up. She basically said she had no idea what happened but she thought she had a psychotic breakdown or something. My gf said she wasn't really making sense and wasn't really able to explain what the hell happened, but just kept saying stuff about how hosed up poo poo was and just apparently seemed super messed up. I haven't really gotten the chance to talk to them myself and neither of us have really spoken to or heard from Greg, but from what Stacy told us he's kind of hosed up himself right now too and very confused.

Well, I was hanging out with my brother later and mentioned that apparently Stacy had a psychotic break. He started laughing and said "yeah of course, I put a shitton of LSD in their water at the banquet" I was pretty shocked and got some more details and yeah, apparently he's had a dropper bottle full of acid and his way of getting back at them was to put "probably 10 hits each" in their water...

I should mention that while they both drink, Stacy has never used any drugs, not even weed, and Greg's expereince was that he smoked a handful of times throughout college, so they are both very inexperienced with stuff. I've done LSD and Shrooms like twice and even knowing what I was getting into with one dose still had many scary moments...so I can only imagine the terror that Greg and Stacy felt...

I told my gf later that night. She was obviously extremely mad, saying things about how my bro is a psycho, and is saying that she wants me to cut him off permanently.

The thing is, my brother is extremely important to me. He's never done anything like this, and is generally super nice, except for a few fights he's been in in the past 10 years, which like 60% of were defending me...

I really don't think I can cut my brother out of my life to be honest, but my gf is insistent. Reddit, I'm at a loss at what to do. Help.

tl;dr: Brother dosed gf's friends with LSD as revenge. GF wants me to cut him off.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 01:02

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

Adventure Pigeon posted:

I liked this one

drat reddits making GBS threads on the brother like hes some sort of psychopath. i wish some dude wouldslip a 10strip in my water

# ? Oct 7, 2016 01:11

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Tolkien minority posted:

drat reddits making GBS threads on the brother like hes some sort of psychopath. i wish some dude wouldslip a 10strip in my water

There are probably easier ways to get free LSD TBF

# ? Oct 7, 2016 01:28

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I (24F) just found out that my boyfriend (21M) makes has a gross social media presence

I've been with my boyfriend (21M) a couple months and he has been the most loving, supportive, kind, and patient partner I have ever had. He seems like he truly cares about me and my thoughts. We have a ton of fun together and everything was going well until my friends brought some social media activity to my attention a few days ago.

I don't have a Twitter and, frankly, never thought to even check his Twitter. However, I do have a couple friends who are big into Twitter and also very protective of me. They sent me screencaps of him being very racist, slightly homophobic and all around hateful in 2013. The Tweets then have gotten better in terms of blatant bigotry, but there's still a lot of aggression and mean spirited-ness to them. Although I don't know this for sure, the sudden appearance of horrid tweets in 2013 leads me to believe he's simply deleted the horrid ones from the last three years when he started applying for his government job.

When I brought it up, he said his online persona isn't a real reflection of who he is. That the real him is who he is around me. That his Tweets are just off-the-cuff remarks and half of them are jokes his friends would understand. This isn't sitting well with me and I've had anxiety for three days straight.

I'm having a hard time deciding if this is a deal-breaker considering how good to me he is. But I'd hate this to be a forewarning of things to come or how he would be if his affection for me waned. Anyone have input on how to handle or discuss? What would you do if you suddenly found out your loving boyfriend is an rear end in a top hat on social media?

tl;dr: Loving boyfriend has some severely bigoted Tweets in the past and some not-great ones now. What do?

# ? Oct 7, 2016 02:09

Carrion Luggage: Nov 24, 2006

if people irl knew how unpopular i was on sa they would never talk to me

# ? Oct 7, 2016 02:28

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Carrion Luggage posted:

if people irl knew how unpopular i was on sa they would never talk to me

If it makes you feel better, nobody is really cool anymore

# ? Oct 7, 2016 02:34

chernobyl kinsman: Mar 18, 2007; a friend of the friendly atom; Soiled Meat

Carrion Luggage posted:

if people irl knew how unpopular i was on sa they would never talk to me

who the hell are you

# ? Oct 7, 2016 02:48

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Me [23 F] isn't sure if step dads [47 M] behavior is normal or not

quote:

Okay, so here's the situation. I met my step dad when I was ten, I didn't have my biological dad in my life very much growing up so I was instantly thrilled to have a "dad". Through out the years we had our struggles, but eventually I called him dad and thought of him as such. When I was about 15 is when it got a little weird. He'd get really drunk and want to braid my hair, always touching me, telling me how much he loved me.

One night, I had a really bad migraine and he gave me a shot of whiskey and laid me down in a dark room and stroked my forehead, again telling me how much he loved me. Maybe that's not so weird to some of you, but the way he went about it all really unsettled me. My mom was working night shifts then and she didn't think anything of it.

Later on, as I got older it got a little weirder. He'd come up and smack my butt in a "playful" way, try to set me up with men that were "just like him" except I was 17 and they were 28.

When I was 18 I moved out right away and moved in with my now husband. I told my parents they were toxic for me and I needed time apart from them. So I cut them off and didn't speak to them until a few months later when I found out I was pregnant. Now the way my step dad reacted upon me cutting them off was so bad my SO was even creeped out by it, saying he was acting like a jealous ex boyfriend.

A few years go by and I end up reconnecting with him. But now, I'm 23, married and have a daughter it is almost unbearable to be around him. He still smacks my rear end, now kisses my neck, insists I kiss him, constantly sending me drunk texts about how I'm the most important person in his life, how I know him better than anyone, and how he wishes my mom was the type of wife I am.

Now I don't know if I'm the weird one for thinking this is inappropriate because my mother and sister seem to think it's just "fatherly love". But since he's the only "dad" I've ever really had, I have nothing to compare it to. Am I being paranoid or is this just absolutely creepy as gently caress?

TL;DR step dad smacks my rear end and kisses my neck and creeps me out, not sure if it's just me being over paranoid or if genuinely disturbing.

Sounds normal to me.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 02:52

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Pick posted:

this effeminate elf prostitute is voiced by the same man who voiced male Shephard in mass effect.

I did not know that. Isn't he also the barkeep from inquisition?

# ? Oct 7, 2016 03:06

bone app the teeth: May 14, 2008

DOMDOM posted:

Me [23 F] isn't sure if step dads [47 M] behavior is normal or not

Sounds normal to me.

we need a :fake: for this

# ? Oct 7, 2016 03:09

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Pick posted:

Whoo boy just wait til that moron experiences the death of someone she loves, it's gonna blow her friggin mind.

Pfft, people who haven't been broken by the pain of the human condition yet, amrite?

CharlestonJew posted:

he should get her to play metal gear solid 5, then she'll understand...

...why did they have to stand up and salute me?...why...

# ? Oct 7, 2016 03:51

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Adventure Pigeon posted:

I liked this one

I would've just thanked him for free LSD.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 03:59

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

Wanna throw a drink in that brother's face :catdrugs:

# ? Oct 7, 2016 05:22

angel opportunity: Sep 7, 2004; Total Eclipse of the Heart

My [27 F] SO [28 M] of 8 years frequently gets huge boners while on his phone right next to me

# ? Oct 7, 2016 05:23

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

Someone who uses twitter? :sever:

# ? Oct 7, 2016 06:50

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

My [21F] boyfriend [22M] came with me to hair salon. He's upset the hair stylists were more interested in the owners son [8-10m?] and not looking at his new tattoo

My friend works at a hair salon and it is a very successful one at that. It is absolutely breath taking inside and they do an amazing job. It's really so professional and just a beautiful place to relax while having your hair done. I booked an appointment to have my hair done and my boyfriend wanted to come with me. The moment we walked in he said " The woman here are hot as" He was referring to the girls that work there they are really beautiful.

He tried to save it by saying "not as beautiful as you". I was seated and he was trying to show off his new Tattoo to the girl that was going to do my hair. Two teenage girls and a little boy walked in. The girls were holding the boys hand and they said " Hi Mom". Sophie (the woman who owns the place) started to ask them how school was. She leaned down and said " How was my little mans day at school" and gave him a hug. One of the hair stylists asked him if he wanted to see something cool, the girls that were not busy were talking to her son. Sophie and her kids left shortly after that.

My boyfriend the entire time sat there sulking. When we left he started to complain that no body noticed his new tattoo and were more interested in the kid going to the dentist (They were talking to the kid about the dentist). Am I wrong for thinking this is weird and how do I bring it up to him without him shutting me down saying I am overreacting again

tl;dr: Boyfriend is upset hair stylists who he described as "hot as" were paying more attention to their bosses son [8M] than him and his new tattoo

quote:

he started to complain that no body noticed his new tattoo and were more interested in the kid going to the dentist (They were talking to the kid about the dentist)

me to my hairdresser when they're interested in the kid going to the dentist: they were talking to the kid about the dentist

# ? Oct 7, 2016 07:41

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

bone app the teeth posted:

we need a :fake: for this

# ? Oct 7, 2016 09:01

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Me [28F] with my husband [33M]: He fled during a home invasion, abandoning me and our kids [1M, 6M] with the intruders.Relationships

quote:

This is a throwaway to protect my family's privacy.

About 2 weeks ago, my family and I were watching a movie around 7pm. My 6 year old was sitting next to me and the 1 year old was asleep in my arms. My husband went to the kitchen to make popcorn for my son and I remained in the family room with the kids.
5 or so minutes later, I heard the sound of glass breaking. I called out to my husband if he was okay (assuming he had dropped a bowl) and I heard foot steps and unfamiliar voices. I heard my husband shout "there are intruders" and I immediately grabbed my 6 year old and told him to get under the table. 2 armed men entered the room and started shouting at me (while I was holding the 1 year old) to get on the floor or they would shoot me. I obliged and begged them not to hurt me or my 1 year old. They took the tv and my laptop and after 10 or so minutes, they fled.

I got up and made sure both my kids were okay and started screaming for my husband, thinking they tied him up or he was hurt. I called 911 and took the kids to the neighbor's house, still unable to find my husband. Long story short, my husband caught a glimpse of the intruders and ran out the backyard door (close to the kitchen) and left the kids and I trapped with the intruders (who had guns). When I confronted him that night, he said he ran out to try and get help.

I cannot look at him the same. I understand if I was alone, but he left our two children to save himself. I keep thinking, what if they had shot me or our sons? He says I am being unreasonable and if he had stayed, he would have not been able to do much to help anyways. Reddit, is it reasonable for me to be angry with him?

tl;dr: Husband saw intruders and decided to save himself, leaving me and our 1 & 6 year old boys held at gunpoint.

Edit: He could have taken one of the children. The family room is a step or two from the kitchen and the intruders entered through the main door, which is all the way at the end of the hallway. He could have easily had enough time to bolt into the room and grab a child. Instead, he yelled that there were intruders and he ran. In my state of shock and confusion (and not knowing how close by they were), I told my son to hide instead of trying to escape out the door.

Edit 2: He says he went to get help but he ran down the street to his friend's house, which is further away than our adjacent neighbor's house. He also remained there and came out about 20 minutes after the police arrived, and came to look for me and the kids. He says he stayed there just in case the intruders were hanging around the house.

INTRUDER ALERT

I call fake but why?

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:15

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

There was a similar one recently where a couple was mugged and the guy bolted, saying he was trying to get help.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:29

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

It's also exchanging intruders for the fire in an episode of Seinfeld

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:31

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Dude should have grabbed the baby in one arm and taken down the robbers by doing the Stone Cold Stunner with the other

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:33

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

"What if they had shot me or my sons?"

Lady, if they wanted to, you'd all be dead. Life isn't an action movie, he couldn't have done anything other than add another corpse.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:36

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

lol that dude saw an opening and took it

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:37

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

It doesn't seem that unbelievable to me. It's not like you're rationally deciding that you're more important than your loved ones when you're bolting; that's your lizard brain making a snap decision. And obviously these guys are too cowardly to admit that they bolted without thinking, so they decide that they ran off to get help. I'm assuming this happens all the time.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:41

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Much as the case for the African lion, protecting the family is the one goddamn thing that women expect men to loving do

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:41

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Pick posted:

Much as the case for the African lion, protecting the family is the one goddamn thing that women expect men to loving do

And much like the African lion, men die when shot.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:44

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# ? May 9, 2024 13:22

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

And the African lion will straight up kill babies if it thinks that's gonna get it laid.

# ? Oct 7, 2016 14:45

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