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Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer
I would be so disappointed if they served me fruit cake at a wedding.

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Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
What you actually want is to start with recipes for bourbon cakes. I make them every year, and am going to start my Christmas one in a few weeks. I have my recipes at home, so I can't check now, but start with this link. It will get you pretty close.

http://toriavey.com/toris-kitchen/2014/02/kentucky-bourbon-whiskey-cake-history-recipe/

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line
I really want to chew a big hunk of fruit-flavored leather just...

just really work my jaw out you know?

PopeCrunch
Feb 13, 2004

internets

Fruitcake gets a bad rap and that's a drat SHAME, because for some reason (personally, i blame the purityrannical zeitgeist of American so-called 'culture') nobody talks about the most important step, which is getting your cake's slant on.

Store your cake in a tupperware container or whatever's sealable, and every few days or week or whatever, sprinkle a tablespoonful of rum / sherry / bourbon / etc over it. In a month or so, your cake will be fully turnt, and ready to consume.

The cake doesn't become alcoholic, it becomes AN alcoholic. And as anyone who works in healthcare can tell you, boozehounds are generally more tender and pliable than their straightedge bretheren. All hail crunk cake.

Gerblyn
Apr 4, 2007

"TO BATTLE!"
Fun Shoe
I just made a nice, fluffy chocolate sponge, but I was a bit impatient and rather foolishly tried to remove it from the mould before it was completely cool. So I now I have a huge pile of torn up chocolate sponge bits, and I'm not sure what I can do with it. It's very chocolately, and not very sweet, so it needs icing, ice cream or something similar to balance it out. Anyone have any ideas on what I could do with it? Maybe some kind of trifle like thing?

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

Gerblyn posted:

I just made a nice, fluffy chocolate sponge, but I was a bit impatient and rather foolishly tried to remove it from the mould before it was completely cool. So I now I have a huge pile of torn up chocolate sponge bits, and I'm not sure what I can do with it. It's very chocolately, and not very sweet, so it needs icing, ice cream or something similar to balance it out. Anyone have any ideas on what I could do with it? Maybe some kind of trifle like thing?

Sponge as in sponge cake? You could make cake pops.

Gerblyn
Apr 4, 2007

"TO BATTLE!"
Fun Shoe
Exactly, yeah. I just read something like that, they're cake which is crumbled then bound with icing and put onto sticks?

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

Gerblyn posted:

Exactly, yeah. I just read something like that, they're cake which is crumbled then bound with icing and put onto sticks?

Yep. Crumble it more, mix with just enough icing to bind, roll into a ball and then dip in melted chocolate/melted coating wafers. I think it helps to dip the end of the stick into the melted stuff before you put it in the cake pop as it helps it to stay on the stick. Or forget the sticks altogether and just make balls. Delicious cake balls.

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS
Grimey Drawer

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Yep. Crumble it more, mix with just enough icing to bind, roll into a ball and then dip in melted chocolate/melted coating wafers. I think it helps to dip the end of the stick into the melted stuff before you put it in the cake pop as it helps it to stay on the stick. Or forget the sticks altogether and just make balls. Delicious cake balls.

Ooo, you could sprinkle a little kosher salt on them after coating them, too.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011

Canuck-Errant posted:

Ooo, you could sprinkle a little kosher salt on them after coating them, too.
True chocolate salty balls.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
The local market was selling poblano peppers for hilariously cheap so now I have a bunch. What do I do with them?

spankmeister
Jun 15, 2008






C-Euro posted:

The local market was selling poblano peppers for hilariously cheap so now I have a bunch. What do I do with them?

make chilli

Tendales
Mar 9, 2012
Chile rellenos and roasted poblano soup.

Or just roast them all, freeze whatever you don't need to use immediately.

Gerblyn
Apr 4, 2007

"TO BATTLE!"
Fun Shoe

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Yep. Crumble it more, mix with just enough icing to bind, roll into a ball and then dip in melted chocolate/melted coating wafers. I think it helps to dip the end of the stick into the melted stuff before you put it in the cake pop as it helps it to stay on the stick. Or forget the sticks altogether and just make balls. Delicious cake balls.

Well, it sounds a bit sickly, but I've got about a kilo of destroyed cake here, so why not? I'll give it a try tomorrow, thanks!

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011

C-Euro posted:

The local market was selling poblano peppers for hilariously cheap so now I have a bunch. What do I do with them?

"Rajas con queso", e.g. http://mexicanfoodjournal.com/rajas-con-queso/

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat

Tendales posted:

Or just roast them all, freeze whatever you don't need to use immediately.

Best way to roast them? I've seen a number of recipes where you cook them on the open flame of a gas stove but our apartment has an electric range :(

dijon du jour
Mar 27, 2013

I'm shy

C-Euro posted:

Best way to roast them? I've seen a number of recipes where you cook them on the open flame of a gas stove but our apartment has an electric range :(

Does your oven have a broiler? Put your oven rack in the highest position, set broiler to high, put poblanos on a baking sheet and roast under the broiler until black and blistered. Turn over and roast the other side as well.

Tendales
Mar 9, 2012
I use the broiler.

If I'm going to make chile rellenos, I'll put a small slit in the peppers first. Sometimes they'll burst. No big deal usually, but if I'm going to stuff them then I want to control where the opening is.

After the peppers are nice and black, toss them straight into a sturdy ziplock bag. They'll steam up and loosen the skins. After this, either peel and use them, or just go straight into the freezer unpeeled.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Do you have tomatillos? Blend up some poblanos with them and make enchiladas verde

Lovelyn
Jul 8, 2008

Eat more beans
Can anyone recommend (or guide me on what to look for regarding) a good chef's knife? I'm a vegan so it doesn't need to be able to cut through bone or flesh, but I bought a "whatever" knife from Target 2 months ago because I didn't think it mattered, and not only is it poo poo, but it's already starting to rust despite meticulous drying. What should I look for in a knife?

AVeryLargeRadish
Aug 19, 2011

I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT BE A WEIRD SEXUAL CREEP ABOUT PREPUBESCENT ANIME GIRLS, READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE!!!

Lovelyn posted:

Can anyone recommend (or guide me on what to look for regarding) a good chef's knife? I'm a vegan so it doesn't need to be able to cut through bone or flesh, but I bought a "whatever" knife from Target 2 months ago because I didn't think it mattered, and not only is it poo poo, but it's already starting to rust despite meticulous drying. What should I look for in a knife?

It depends on how much you want to spend, on the cheap end you can get a Victorinox Fibrox Chef's Knife, it's fairly sharp and well made. If you are willing to pay more I'd recommend a Tojiro DP Gyuto, it's much sharper and will stay sharp for a lot longer.

prayer group
May 31, 2011

$#$%^&@@*!!!
There's an entire knife thread on this board for that. Almost a year ago I consulted it and ended up buying the 9" version of the Tojiro knife that AVeryLargeRadish just mentioned. It completely rules. Way sharper than anything I've ever used before, to the point that my knife technique has gotten a lot cleaner just because I don't want to cut myself so drat much. I know it's more money than you spent on the Target knife but the difference is gigantic.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


What's the name of the sushi that comes on rice like nigiri, has nori wrapped around it to make a bowl, and is filled with like... fish guts or octopus bits or something and is really really bitter? This is surprisingly hard to search for.

Lucy Heartfilia
May 31, 2012


I dunno about the bitter topping, but this shape of sushi is called gunkan maki.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed
I wanted to reassure myself of cooking time and I have a chart saying for the size of mine (14 lbs) that 40 mins breast side down, 1 hour breast side up at 400 is adequate. That sounds pretty brief to me, thoughts?

Bob Saget IRL
Oct 24, 2014

I accidentally bought salted butter, and i don't understand how people use this stuff. Why does it exist?

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS
Grimey Drawer
Corn on the cob.

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...
It works fine on stuff that needs butter and salt :shrug:

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

Bob Saget IRL posted:

I accidentally bought salted butter, and i don't understand how people use this stuff. Why does it exist?
Toast, sandwiches etc are 10 times better with salted rather than unsalted butter. I personally get extremely annoyed when I've got unsalted by mistake, it tastes bad

CzarChasm
Mar 14, 2009

I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I wanted to reassure myself of cooking time and I have a chart saying for the size of mine (14 lbs) that 40 mins breast side down, 1 hour breast side up at 400 is adequate. That sounds pretty brief to me, thoughts?

I'm guessing you are asking about a turkey? Yeah, that seems low to me.

Epicurious has a whole chart (bout halfway down the page) where it takes size of bird and what temperature your oven is set to and tells you how long you can expect. 14 pounds at 400 is 21/2 hours minimum.

A lot of modern recipes seem to follow this - Blast at high temp for about half an hour, cook at 350 for remaining cook time - no flipping required. AB starts at 500, and then says 350 for a few hours.

FYI, Butterball's website indicates 3-4 hours for a bird that size. Granted, that's at 325, but the smallest bird they even have an entry for is half your size and they say 2 hours for that.

hogmartin
Mar 27, 2007

Bob Saget IRL posted:

I accidentally bought salted butter, and i don't understand how people use this stuff. Why does it exist?

What country are you from, and what did you use it for? If you used it in your cookies then that's probably an issue, but people have been salting butter since about forever, it's not some new thing. It tastes great on toast or muffins, or any other application where the goal is to soak something crumby and warm in butter.

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer
And it existed originally because salt is a preservative and it will keep longer without refrigeration which is great because it means you can keep spreadable butter out.

Bob Saget IRL
Oct 24, 2014

Murica.

I lied, it wasn't an accident. I was sick and required grilled cheese and tomater soup, and the corner pharmacy only had salted butter. So grilled chese, and recently fried up some pierogies with onions and butter.

It's like i used a tbs of iodized salt as mouth wash.

Chemmy
Feb 4, 2001

Do you not salt things?

hogmartin
Mar 27, 2007
That's kind of odd, usually it's salted enough that it tastes good, not enough that it tastes like salt. Like Paperhouse said, unsalted butter just tastes unsatisfyingly bland if you use it for toast or whatever. I've never had it taste actually salty.

Bob Saget IRL
Oct 24, 2014

Yes, i buy kosher salt in bulk. How else would i know what using a tbs of salt for mouth wash tastes like?

I guess i just find salted butter too salty. But it sounds like its for spreadin on toast, not grillin cheeses. Thanks, friends!

^^^ maybe being generic/low quality stuff is why its salty

hogmartin
Mar 27, 2007

Bob Saget IRL posted:

^^^ maybe being generic/low quality stuff is why its salty

You might have gotten a bad batch I guess. I use salted butter for basically everything except baking - toast, grilled cheese, sautéed vegetables - never had it be too salty.

As long as you're using real butter and not margarine we're still pals :v:

Bob Saget IRL
Oct 24, 2014

:respek:

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

CzarChasm posted:

I'm guessing you are asking about a turkey? Yeah, that seems low to me.

Epicurious has a whole chart (bout halfway down the page) where it takes size of bird and what temperature your oven is set to and tells you how long you can expect. 14 pounds at 400 is 21/2 hours minimum.

A lot of modern recipes seem to follow this - Blast at high temp for about half an hour, cook at 350 for remaining cook time - no flipping required. AB starts at 500, and then says 350 for a few hours.

FYI, Butterball's website indicates 3-4 hours for a bird that size. Granted, that's at 325, but the smallest bird they even have an entry for is half your size and they say 2 hours for that.

HanHaha oh my god, yes, a turkey. Sorry, I had a major headache earlier that was really impacting my ability to function. Luckily I found my tried and true recipe of breast down entirely, 400 for 20 mins, 325 for two hours, 225 for an hour, then flip it and broil so the top skin is crispy. It comes out magnificently.

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Ningyou
Aug 14, 2005

we aaaaare
not your kind of pearls
you seem kind of pho~ny
everything's a liiiiie

we aaaare
not your kind of pearls
something in your make~up
don't see eye to e~y~e

So I'm making a standing rib roast instead of turkey for Thanksgiving this year and really worried about screwing it up. :ohdear: I've been looking at a bunch of recipes and have some idea of how to cook it, but I decided I want to try making a dijon rub for it and I'm sort of unsure what to do.

I found this rub recipe that sounded like it could be good (1/4c sea salt and black pepper, 1/3c olive oil and dijon mustard and cream horseradish), but I found it on some mommyblog with zero comments about it being good or terrible or anything in between so i'm kind of nervous about actually using it.

Does that sound like it would turn out kind of crap if I used it on the rib roast? and if so does anybody have a better rub recipe they could share or should I just use salt+pepper or something :ohdear:

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