Manticorny posted:

I (22F) found out today that Professor (30-40yo?) keeps a folder with photos of me

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Sue the school and laugh all the way to the bank, you fool!

bone app the teeth posted:

Delete Facebook, hit the gym, lawyer up.

quote:

Sorry for the word vomit

I [25f] have been with my boyfriend [25m] for 5 and a 1/2 years now, living together for about 2 years. We have a 9mo. old puppy and a cat together and have a 2 BR/2 BA apartment (no roommates) together.

After being together for about a year, when I still wasn't 100% on board with staying with him, his dad passed. He spun into a deep depression and became super dependent on me emotionally, and I felt obligated emotionally to stick around. His negativity and depression began to rub off on me, and I was taking on his problems and negative emotions to make him feel better, and regardless of how I felt. He's since recovered from depression, I have not, and am still taking medication for that.

We haven't regularly had sex for about 3.5/4 years now, and only get intimate about once every 2-3 months. I don't even have the desire to kiss him passionately or make out or fool around with him. Literally no sexual desire there whatsoever.

He is a homebody. Loves to stay home all day on the weekends and watch TV, play video games, computer games, stay home when I want to go out to dinner or something fun with him, doesn't want to go on dates, etc. He works a minimally demanding job, hardly any responsibilities there, and works 8-2 M-F (about 20 hours), bringing home about around $14/hr. I, on the other hand, am an extrovert, I mean I like to stay home, but on the weekends I constantly want to be out of the house, hanging out with my friends or mutual friends of ours, go out on dates with him, try new things, hang out with co-workers, etc., I've worked at my current job for almost 3 years, and although I am SUPER close with my co-workers, he's not ever met one of them, or come out to a bday party or happy hour or anything with them, to the point that my co-workers wonder if he even cares about me enough to reciprocate my activities with friends.

He's almost 100% financially dependent on me. I have been paying for everything for a while now, estimating around 2 years, and the only bills he can help me with is 1/3 of the rent, and sometimes helps with groceries. This has caused me to struggle financially, and he won't put in more effort.

This causes resentment in me and stress which causes me to be unhappy. I have talked to him about this and his excuse is "you told me to take this position because it would make me happy". However, I told him that I'd also like him to take a second job, and he won't.

I am unhappy. I feel like he's my best friend, or brother, but there's no attraction there. I could see myself being with him for the rest of my life, but I know I'd just be marrying my BFF or platonic partner. This breaks my heart because I love him, and I love his family, and he loves my family. It's just really hard.

I'm terrified about breaking up because we live together and we just got a puppy earlier this year and its going to be so hard finding a place for me and all my poo poo, and he doesn't make poo poo to find a place of his own. I'm just not happy and am complacent.

Should I get a roommate? Probably 85-90% of all the items in our apartment were purchased by me with no help from him. So it would be much easier for him to move out rather than me. We're both on the lease together until June 2017.

I'm leaning more towards breaking things off and asking him to move out, however I don't know when would be the right time. He's going to take it really really really hard and breakdown and I'm not great with confrontation.

I need help. Any advice?

tl;dr: not sure if I should break up with my financially dependent, live-in BF of 5.5 years, and need advice, on if I should and how I should move forward with it

quote:

Pretty much what the title says. My wife and I don't have sex very often anymore, perhaps 3-4 times a month. I work a very demanding job, she's a stay-at-home mom for our 3 kids. I try to initiate several times a week and get turned down 9 times out of 10. Although it does upset me to be rejected so often, I just say "whatever" and either go to sleep or jerk off (I keep this secret from her because she would flip out and it's not a fight worth having). For the very few times she agrees to have sex, it's always great and she enjoys it very much, as do I.

She sometimes initiates but always seems to do so when I'm either completely drained of energy from work/chores or so totally not in the mood. I've told her many times to not initiate when I'm tired, and that I would gladly welcome her advances on weekends. However she never initiates on the weekends (and turns me down when I do), and only ever makes a move when I'm too tired to move myself or in no mood for sex. When I turn her down, she gets very upset and says things like "this isn't a marriage" or "it's abusive to withhold intimacy".

poo poo like this enrages me because of the disgusting hypocrisy she's showing, and the fact that my wife is selfish when it comes to sex; sex only happens when she wants it. I've tried explaining this hypocrisy to her but she seemingly doesn't understand it, claiming that when she turns down sex, it's because she's too tired/sick/not in the mood (which she considers legitimate excuses), but when I turn down sex, I'm intentionally dismissing her sexual needs.

I'm at my wit's end with this bullshit. She can keep turning me down for the rest of my life and I won't mind, but every time she cries abuse when I turn her down, I feel like punching a hole in the wall. I'm seriously starting to resent my wife and frankly my mind shifts to thoughts of divorce on occasion.

tl;dr: Whenever my wife turns me down, it's fine, I take the L and hope I get lucky next time. When I turn my wife down because I'm too tired/not in the mood, she cries abuse.

quote:

Long story short: I was helping my friend to set up a profile on a dating site for her to find someone new after recovering from a really bad breakup, and I accidentally came across my husband having a profile on there. I'm in shock. We have had our fair share of issues in the past 8 years of marriage and had been attending marriage counselling due to him abusing me in the past, things seemed to be improving between us over the past year or so. In retrospect in the past few weeks there have been some red flags such as him never being home, always being distant from me (he claims this is due to work related issues which I respected and patiently waited to things to improve) and just yesterday he was at the jewellers and a perfume shop with no explanation (he was with a friend so I presumed he was there because his friend was after something). I'm fuming and have a billion thoughts running through my head, I don't know what to do. I know for a fact I want a divorce, but I want him to suffer repercussions for what he has done! I want to go about this in the smartest way possible. I have seen stories over the years of people confronting their cheating partners in clever ways or exposing them and dumping them in clever ways, but my mind is blank right now as I'm that hurt. Please help.

tl;dr: Husband is cheating on me! What to do?!

quote:

Me and my girlfriend Kim been together for 3 years. About 6 months in, we agreed to have unprotected sex from then on. It felt way better plus she was on birth control and we were both clean & exclusive with each other.

Me and Kim met towards the end of college. After we graduated, we moved in together. I had a normal 9-5 job. She has a passion that she pursued (can't say what because it's very specific). She worked odd jobs here and there to pay her half of the bills, but otherwise worked her rear end off to advance in the niche entertainment field that she's very passionate about. She recently got a job with the biggest company in her field. She's over the moon, this has been her goal her entire life.

This job involves being on the road 4 or 5 days a week, working an extremely busy schedule, and being around her coworkers 24/7 when she's working. Again, I can't say what her job is, but she and everyone she'll be working with are all young, really good looking, and in excellent shape. They're gonna be around each other constantly and there's a HUGE hookup culture within the company. One of Kim's friends (who is in the field and aspires to work for that company one day) joked that it's basically one big orgy.

Kim doesn't start working there for another 3 or 4 weeks, but of course it's all she can talk about because she's so excited. Over the weekend she sat me down and said "listen, we need to have a serious conversation. Straight up facts - I'm gonna out of town 5 days a week for the next 2-3 years. I would never cheat on you, and I know you would never cheat on me, but we both need to be smart. You need to start wearing condoms again. Again, I fully intend to be faithful but it's better safe than sorry. STDs are no joke. Plus I don't want an accidental pregnancy."

I was just kind of stunned by this. I don't mind wearing a condom, that's not the problem AT ALL. It's just that after 2 and a half years of trusting each other & not wearing one, she wants me to wear one because she's starting to work at this new job. And again, she's gonna be on the road 5 days a week with guys who are objectively really good looking. I didn't know how to respond to her so we dropped it for the time being but it needs to be addressed. We had sex this morning and I wore a condom to respect her wishes but I feel weird about it because of the implications of this. What do I do/say?

Just want to add that she's the perfect girl and we have NO problems otherwise in our relationship. Couldn't say a single bad thing about her, it's just this one issue.

tl;dr: Girlfriend and I have been exclusive and having unprotected sex for over 2 years. She's starting work at a new job where she'll be out of town 5 days a week and surrounded by really good looking guys in a company that has a serious hookup culture. She says she wants to have only protected sex from now on. Wearing a condom is not the problem, it's the implied "one of us will end up cheating".

quote:

My dog, Riley, recently had puppies. This is her second and final litter and I have a waiting list of people ready to buy them as soon as they are old enough to be separated from momma. Before you ask, no I don't run a puppy mill. My girl lives a good life and she has plenty of freedom. She is a duck dog and she's drat good at what she does. She's so good that she quickly became the talk of our rural South Carolina town. To make a long story short: her puppies are very desireable.
Anyways, I recently went on a date with a girl I met on tinder, let's call her Bethany. We hit it off really well! We have a lot in common: she love playing video games, she's a beer connoisseur, and she's incredibly cute (think Ellie Kemper's doppleganger). Our date went well enough that i ended up inviting her back to my place. I showed her around the house and took her to the basement where I keep Riley and her pups in a large bedding area under a heat lamp (Riley has access to the backyard via a doggy door). Needless to say, the moment Bethany saw the puppies she went berserk. We ended up playing with the pups for about half an hour before I suggested we go upstairs and watch a movie. She seemed kind of reluctant to leave, but she came up with me and we watched a movie and enjoyed a makeout session.
After lounging around for a bit, she said she needed to go get something from her car. She was gone for about 5 minutes. When she came back upstairs she said her roommate had called her and had accidently locked herself out of their apartment so she had to leave. I was a little disappointed but i understood. I kissed her goodnight and she left.
The next morning I went to check on the pups. When I got downstairs I could tell something was wrong with Riley. She seemed on edge, she was sniffing all over the basement, and she kept on whimpering. After a bit of pondering I noticed that the "lump" of puppies seemed smaller than normal. I ended up counting them. I know for a fact that she birthed 12 pups, but low and behold I only counted 11 there.
I immediately suspected Bethany. Those pups weren't old enough to escape their bedding and I'm drat sure Riley wouldn't eat one. I called and texted Bethany several times but she didn't answer. This morning I called her work number (she's a librarian) and she answered, but she hung up as soon as she heard my voice.
I guess my question now is what do I do? Would the police even bother with a case like this? Should I try calling her again? Is she ignoring me because she thought the date went bad or does she have something more to hide? I don't want to get the police involved, but I want my drat puppy back.
tl;dr: I think my tinder date stole my puppy after acting sketchy and abruptly leaving my house. Not sure how to proceed.

HardDiskD posted:

Me [25M] and my girlfriend [25F]. She wants to go back to having protected sex (after years of unprotected) because she has a new job where she'll be out of town 5 days a week.



is she doing porn?

quote:

Me [21F] with the family I nanny for. The son [13M]'s behavior is starting to creep me out, but I'm not sure if it actually is inappropriate or just a cultural difference.

Hey there, using a throwaway just in case.

So I am from the U.S. and recently moved to Italy to nanny. I feel this is important because so far I have not been able to tell if I'm struggling with a cultural difference here in Italy or if I actually have reason to be weirded out.

It is easy to tell that the son, Dario, is in middle school, as he is already several inches taller than me and his mom, and has maybe 30lbs on me.

When I first got here, some of the stuff that freaked me out a little I could handle and I chalked it up to being an "Italy" thing. This includes stuff like talking almost exclusively in a "baby" voice when addressing his parents, calling his parents "mommy" and "daddy," fighting physically with his little sister over who gets to sit on mom & dad's lap multiple times throughout the day, fighting with the sister over who gets to sleep with the parents, getting extremely upset when mom or dad leaves for the day, and whining about not getting enough kisses or time laying in bed kissing with mom, and having his parents blow on chewed food in his mouth because it's too hot.

Now I really don't want to be critical of this if it's normal here, ya know? But in the U.S. I seriously can't imagine a single 7th grade boy engaging in any of these behaviors, so it's really new to me. And really it hadn't affected me, so I just let it be. The problem is though that now I'm starting to get involved and it's making me really uncomfortable.

For example, our rooms have adjacent windows which allows the kids to see into my entire room at all times. To me, this is pretty inappropriate (what am I supposed to do when I need to change clothes??) but I also don't want to seem like I am sexualizing children or accusing them of anything, so I just politely asked for curtains and took to changing in the bathroom. After weeks without curtains the family finally promised me that someone was coming to put them up... well he only put them in the kids' room. Ever since then I find Dario peeping through the curtains at me multiple times a day. Now I'm sure he is just "checking on me" or curious about what I'm up to, but it makes me SO uncomfortable. I didn't want to tell the family though because I'm afraid they would think I was accusing their baby of like, trying to spy on me changing so I just took matters into my own hands and hung a blanket up over my window.

Another issue has been when we stay at the kids' grandparents' house. There is a room for the parents, with a bed for one child, and a room for me with a bed for one child. I figured we would split up "boys and girls" and I would stay with the daughter, but nighttime rolls around and Dario is crawling into the bed next to mine. I was so uncomfortable I could hardly sleep. I have talked to my friends at home about this and they all think it's really weird, because we aren't related and he's a teenager now! But this is of course an "American" opinion so I can't tell for sure if we're imposing our ideas on this family. Again if this is really a cultural thing though, I don't know how to tell the family that where I am from, it's kind of inappropriate for a boy so old to be sleeping next to me (especially when he's been spying on me lately!) without causing issues.

Of course these behaviors affectother aspects of our life as well as it is hard to get Dario to do ANYTHING because he usually claims it's "too hard" to do (making a bed at 13? too hard? are you kidding?!) and I often find myself wanting to tell him to grow up. What I need help with is knowing whether he does need to grow up or if all this behavior is normal here and I am the crazy American that needs to adjust. Is this behavior normal for a 12 year old, or is it immature? I feel like the parents still really see him as a young child, and usually he acts like it, but for the most part it seems like he plays up the baby act because he knows it makes his parents cater to him more. If this all is abnormal, does anyone have any suggestions about how to bring this up to the family?

EDIT: Just want to clarify that at the grandparents' house there are two beds, and they are next to each other. Dario was not in MY bed but in the bed next to mine.

tl;dr: I nanny for a boy [13M] whose behavior makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure if he is actually being inappropriate or if there is just a large cultural difference between my home country and this country.

HardDiskD posted:

Me [25M] and my girlfriend [25F]. She wants to go back to having protected sex (after years of unprotected) because she has a new job where she'll be out of town 5 days a week.



is she doing porn?

Skratte posted:

Me [21F] with the family I nanny for. The son [13M]'s behavior is starting to creep me out, but I'm not sure if it actually is inappropriate or just a cultural difference.

Worldshatter posted:

the 13 year old boy peeking through curtains into your room is totally just checking up on you and not praying for nips

Lockback posted:

The dark side of tinder.

Bonzo posted:

Porn starts are tested all the time for STDs so its unlikely. But she's definitely planning on getting some strange on this job, whatever it is.


Years ago I casually dated a woman a few towns over and because of jobs, we only saw each other on weekends. It was just casual thing but she was hinting and getting serious. I ignored the hints because I knew that it would never work out and I was fine doing the FWB thing. She was on the pill so we didn't use condoms. I'm pretty sure she knew I was still playing the field and I suspect she was too because she started saying that due to antibiotics, we now had to use condoms. About a month later she broke it off via email saying she met someone else.

Redmanred posted:

I picture cruise line staff or something in a compact setting with co workers. I heard stories about them being a fuckfest between the employees.

Skratte posted:

Skratte posted:

Me [21F] with the family I nanny for. The son [13M]'s behavior is starting to creep me out, but I'm not sure if it actually is inappropriate or just a cultural difference.

HardDiskD posted:

Me [25M] and my girlfriend [25F]. She wants to go back to having protected sex (after years of unprotected) because she has a new job where she'll be out of town 5 days a week.



is she doing porn?

check out my Youtube posted:

Me [25f] with my [25m] financially dependent, live-in boyfriend of 5.5 years. Should I break things off, have him move out, etc.?


"He is very negative, he makes me very unhappy, he is a financial burden, he doesn't ever want to go out with me, and I have no sexual desires towards him. I'm sorta thinking maybe we should break it off, but otoh we do have a dog and a cat together"

How can you let such a loving train wreck go on for so long?

Menstrual Show posted:

I don't know why, but this one makes me really sad. Dude needs her to break up with him just as much as she needs to do it; it's probably the only shot he's got to pull out of his depression.

For everyone who is just like "lol sever obv idiot" to all of these - have you never been in love with somebody? It makes cutting somebody out of your life who has been that close to you a bit harder.

quote:

tldr; Husband made unemployed due to cuts and wants to be a priest. I've been married for two years now. We met in 2012 on a chatroom, met online in person the next year, and moved in together by September 2013. My husband was made unemployed six weeks ago due to cuts, and then told me he'd decided to become a priest or minister. This suprised me since he isn't from a religious household, and never showed much interest in religion.

He said to me "I've decided to become a priest to avoid job stress, it's a good job with no boss yelling at me" and "besides, being a priest is cool, have you not seen Preacher yet?" That last comment made me worried. It seems like he's doing it because he thinks it's cool. If I'm being honest here (and I am), my worry is over finances, my job as a chemistry/physics assistant in a highschool chem lab; is that enough to keep us going?

My husband has had other issues recently; he's become paranoid about police pulling him over and said "If they can do it to a black man, surely they'll do it to an Asian American like me?" (he's 1/2 Thai 1/2 Chinese) and he's taken to driving on backroads in podunk towns thinking they won't racially profile people there.

Is it true that the majority of shootings by cops involve black people, not Asian Americans (like the South Carolina thing in the news lately)?

I want to be supportive of my husband but am worrying he isn't doing it for the right reasons mentioning about being cool and the TV show Preacher. My issue isn't what other people think of him but finances; what are a priest/minister's wages? My husband's old profession was as manager of a rental car firm in an airport, but he was made redundant when the firm got bought out by a larger firm.

I have told my husband I will be there for him and help him, but he's also having nightmares about being racially profiled by the police, and about "male prisoners picking my butt and doing me up the butt with some big tattooed guy doing me up the butt". He claims the nightmares come from when a state trooper in Arkansas pulled him over and made jokes about him being a "little Chinese boy with a big dick", he said it happened two years ago.

I asked him about counselling to deal with the nightmares but he insisted that counselors were there to push an agenda on people and just interested in the money.

Our sex life has dried up temporarily, he's taken to masturbating to pictures of Selena Gomez, Katy Perry and Adriana Moura constantly, he turns down sex a lot when I've offered it to him.

i'm worried for the future of our relationship; I really love my husband, is he having a quarterlife crisis?
I'd be grateful for any help you can provide.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Marital problems. Husband [28 M] has nightmares over racial issues and was made redundant as well, I [27 F] don't know how to help him.

HardDiskD posted:

Me [25M] and my girlfriend [25F]. She wants to go back to having protected sex (after years of unprotected) because she has a new job where she'll be out of town 5 days a week.



is she doing porn?

Menstrual Show posted:

For everyone who is just like "lol sever obv idiot" to all of these - have you never been in love with somebody? It makes cutting somebody out of your life who has been that close to you a bit harder.

check out my Youtube posted:

Knowing how to break off from a toxic relationship, regardless of how you feel or felt at one point, is a vital life skill if you don't want to live out enormous chunks of your life in complete misery. Yeah, it's really easy to be on the outside looking in and say but that doesn't change the fact that that is exactly what has to be done, and even though she is in denial it doesn't mean that the solution isn't obvious.

shut up blegum posted:

My first guess here is she's a dancer or something? I don't know why though.