|
blarzgh posted:Anyone competent to offer you legal advice about this will a) charge you for it, and b) would never ever do it anonymously on the internet. Fair enough. I'll file that away as a question for the lawyer today.
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 19:19
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 29, 2024 18:04 |
|
|
Theoretically, what if he sues his father in law and is granted full control of all of his father in law's assets? Theoretically.
|
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 19:50
|
|
|
mastershakeman posted:Theoretically, what if he sues his father in law and is granted full control of all of his father in law's assets? Theoretically. Theoretically, on what possible basis could he claim his father in law's assets? Even if his father in law were declared mentally incompetent and committed to a mental hospital, the man's assets would obviously be controlled - for his benefit, legally - by an immediate family member, and we already know there's at least a couple of daughters. In the case of a civil lawsuit (for what?), at best he could claim recompense for damages (what damages?) and a court, if it found his FIL to have been egregiously bad, could also award punitive damages. In no event would this amount to all of FIL's assets unless he had insufficient assets to cover the awarded damages, and even then, you typically can't have your primary residence, retirement accounts, and certain other types of assets taken away from you. But of course, due to the arbitration agreement, he can't sue his FIL over this contract. And this is part of why binding arbitration agreements suck; their ability to grant relief is more limited. Probably the best outcome he could hope for in arbitration is to sell the house and pay back his FIL the full 100k, perhaps plus interest, and then keep the rest. I doubt that would be the outcome, though. Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 20:05 on Oct 11, 2016 |
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 20:01
|
|
|
How did all the daughters fall for this? At least some of the younger ones must've realized their dad wasn't nearly as generous as he seemed.
|
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 20:03
|
|
|
Panfilo posted:How did all the daughters fall for this? At least some of the younger ones must've realized their dad wasn't nearly as generous as he seemed. Abusive parents manipulate their children, even into adulthood. It can be incredibly difficult to say "no" to someone who has been your abuser for all your life. This is something a lot of people who haven't been close to abuse don't really understand - we think as adults they should be rational and know their father is a bad person and refuse to get involved, but psychologically it rarely works that way.
|
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 20:06
|
|
|
Leperflesh posted:Theoretically, on what possible basis could he claim his father in law's assets? Even if his father in law were declared mentally incompetent and committed to a mental hospital, the man's assets would obviously be controlled - for his benefit, legally - by an immediate family member, and we already know there's at least a couple of daughters. What if he sues his father in law, and the judge orders them to all live together in the house until the mortgage is paid? Will it be the falls hit new sitcom?
|
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 20:12
|
|
|
Leperflesh posted:Theoretically, on what possible basis could he claim his father in law's assets? Even if his father in law were declared mentally incompetent and committed to a mental hospital, the man's assets would obviously be controlled - for his benefit, legally - by an immediate family member, and we already know there's at least a couple of daughters. Are you... Are you saying... That I need a lawyer???! Best case scenario for me is that he agrees to sell, doesn't impede the process, and we get our 33% or 35% or whatever. I don't even want him to know I'm going to another lawyer. But I want to know my rights, how to ensure we get our money, and know if this contract will gum up the works when that comes around. Leperflesh posted:Abusive parents manipulate their children, even into adulthood. It can be incredibly difficult to say "no" to someone who has been your abuser for all your life. This is something a lot of people who haven't been close to abuse don't really understand - we think as adults they should be rational and know their father is a bad person and refuse to get involved, but psychologically it rarely works that way. Yeah this.
|
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 20:19
|
|
|
Panfilo posted:How did all the daughters fall for this? At least some of the younger ones must've realized their dad wasn't nearly as generous as he seemed. Maybe the father in law forged every signature and this goon and his wife though they were getting a free house
|
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 20:27
|
|
|
mastershakeman posted:Maybe the father in law forged every signature and this goon and his wife though they were getting a free house It is goonically plausible.
|
|
#
?
Oct 11, 2016 20:56
|
|
|
I'm sure you're all burning for an update now. Met with the lawyer - the long and short of it is that he doesn't know if the document is legal until we have the deed, which I wasn't able to get in hand today - I'm going to try and get it tomorrow. If the deed mirrors the % owned on this document, then fine, we move forward with the percentage he laid out. But if the deed actually says we have equal shares? Well, then... Then I don't know. Then I meet with the lawyer again. Good news, though - we have power no matter what percentage we own. If he refuses to sell, we can force a bank sale and a court decides who gets what. He's not going to like that at all since it'll mean a lot of hassle and likely less profit. And further, if we do sell, the disbursement of the money from escrow has to be agreed upon by all owners involved. If not, it grinds to a halt, and they do nothing until we agree. So we have power to keep him to his word either way.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 02:51
|
|
|
Rotten Red Rod posted:I'm sure you're all burning for an update now. Met with the lawyer - the long and short of it is that he doesn't know if the document is legal until we have the deed, which I wasn't able to get in hand today - I'm going to try and get it tomorrow. If the deed mirrors the % owned on this document, then fine, we move forward with the percentage he laid out. But if the deed actually says we have equal shares? Well, then... Then I don't know. Then I meet with the lawyer again. How are you going to force a bank sale, by defaulting? Also it seems the money isn't as important to you as having power over your father in law to 'keep his word' which means giving you the 100k as a gift?
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 13:43
|
|
|
Has anyone purchased a house with a relative or girl boy friend not ended in a pay day for some shady lawyer? I guess it keeps the posts coming to BFC at least. Does anyone know the realtor definition of a cellar? There is no picture but what makes it not a basement. House is old so that means the wood is magical or something.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 13:55
|
|
|
Elephanthead posted:Has anyone purchased a house with a relative or girl boy friend not ended in a pay day for some shady lawyer? I guess it keeps the posts coming to BFC at least. Does anyone know the realtor definition of a cellar? There is no picture but what makes it not a basement. House is old so that means the wood is magical or something. I'm guessing cellar = small, completely unfinished, low ceiling, maybe external entry only.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 14:56
|
|
|
mastershakeman posted:How are you going to force a bank sale, by defaulting? Also it seems the money isn't as important to you as having power over your father in law to 'keep his word' which means giving you the 100k as a gift? I can file a suit for partition, which asks the court to decide how the property should be divided. The court then assigns a realtor to sell the property and the proceeds are divided as decided. I don't intend to to this, but just knowing I have that leverage is comforting. No, I don't want the 100k gift, I mean the word of this contract. We just want our 33% or 35% or whatever of the profit. Elephanthead posted:Has anyone purchased a house with a relative or girl boy friend not ended in a pay day for some shady lawyer? I guess it keeps the posts coming to BFC at least. My advice from this experience is never ever ever enter into a Tenancy in Common, which is what I have - two or more non-married parties owning some division of a house. I'm sure it goes bad more often than not. Joint Tenants With Rights of Survivorship is fine - that's when a married couple co-owns a house, and if one dies the other always gets the rest. If we ever buy a house again it will be completely with our own money, completely owned by us, with no other parties involved. The upshot of all this is I feel very prepared to do that, and to evaluate a house for how expensive it will be to maintain. But for the moment we'll be renting. Rotten Red Rod fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Oct 12, 2016 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 15:24
|
|
|
Elephanthead posted:Has anyone purchased a house with a relative or girl boy friend not ended in a pay day for some shady lawyer? I guess it keeps the posts coming to BFC at least. Does anyone know the realtor definition of a cellar? There is no picture but what makes it not a basement. House is old so that means the wood is magical or something.  My FIL is an attorney and he gifted us money to buy our house. Key word gifted, and he's not a psychopath.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 16:33
|
|
|
Did I screw myself over by applying to refinance $60k in student loans before closing on a mortgage? The mortgage has been approved and the appraisal has been ordered, but now that I've bothered to Google it, it looks like the lender can do another credit check prior to closing. I don't know what the $60k refinance will look like on their end, but I'm afraid they'll reject the loan after seeing it. Sorry, first time purchasing a home and I'm very nervous something will go horribly wrong, because everything has gone incredibly well so far.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 16:39
|
|
|
LargeHadron posted:Did I screw myself over by applying to refinance $60k in student loans before closing on a mortgage? The mortgage has been approved and the appraisal has been ordered, but now that I've bothered to Google it, it looks like the lender can do another credit check prior to closing. I don't know what the $60k refinance will look like on their end, but I'm afraid they'll reject the loan after seeing it.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 16:46
|
|
|
LargeHadron posted:Did I screw myself over by applying to refinance $60k in student loans before closing on a mortgage? The mortgage has been approved and the appraisal has been ordered, but now that I've bothered to Google it, it looks like the lender can do another credit check prior to closing. I don't know what the $60k refinance will look like on their end, but I'm afraid they'll reject the loan after seeing it. Yes this is bad, but not the end of the world as it should help your monthly debt load. You need to call your lender and tell them, mea culpa and all that. Surprises are bad, so you coming forward is better. Expect more paperwork. There is always more paperwork. Someone along the way should have told you not to touch your credit while a mortgage is in flight, typically your lender and realtor. You should be mildly defensive if they try to scold you but accept it was a mistake.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 16:48
|
|
|
Ok, thanks. FWIW, I haven't yet *accepted* the refinance offer, only applied to refinance which involved a hard credit check by SoFi. I really have no idea what they'd see if/when they check my credit again.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 16:55
|
|
|
LargeHadron posted:Ok, thanks. FWIW, I haven't yet *accepted* the refinance offer, only applied to refinance which involved a hard credit check by SoFi. I really have no idea what they'd see if/when they check my credit again. Most of credit is being able to explain why things are the way they are to someone who deals with risk management. Shouldn't be a big deal.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 17:16
|
|
|
blarzgh posted:Arbitration is Court-Light, with summary proceedings, relaxed rules of procedure, evidence, trial, discovery, etc. The main reason lay people (pro se/pro per) get steamrolled in Court is because they don't know all the procedural pitfalls that can cause you to lose a case "on a technicality" or keep you from introducing important evidence. To add to this, the reason arbitration is usually bad for consumers is because the arbiters are generally essentially reliant on the company in question for their work, so there is an inherent conflict of interest. That probably isnt the case here (though the attorney may have the advantage of knowing or knowing about the arbiter in question).
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2016 20:19
|
|
|
LargeHadron posted:Did I screw myself over by applying to refinance $60k in student loans before closing on a mortgage? The mortgage has been approved and the appraisal has been ordered, but now that I've bothered to Google it, it looks like the lender can do another credit check prior to closing. I don't know what the $60k refinance will look like on their end, but I'm afraid they'll reject the loan after seeing it. I literally had the exact same thing happen 2 weeks ago. I applied to consolidate, but delayed it until my grace period ended and I forgot about it. We decided to buy a house a couple of months later and the consolidation kicked off right in the middle of the process, after appraisal was ordered but before closing. I called my lender, gave them the info they asked for, and they said it was no big deal since I wasn't taking on any additional debt, just sort of shuffling it around. Basically, it didn't affect my debt to income ratio and they weren't concerned but thanked me for giving them a heads up. YMMV, but my loan officer has been amazing about listening to my concerns and questions without feeling like I was going to shoot myself in the foot by revealing something to her that would screw something up. I'm set to close on November 1st, so unless the appraisal falls though for some reason it should be smooth sailing. That being said, i'm also super nervous about something going wrong since this is my first time too. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 03:31
|
|
|
Yarrbossa posted:I literally had the exact same thing happen 2 weeks ago. I applied to consolidate, but delayed it until my grace period ended and I forgot about it. We decided to buy a house a couple of months later and the consolidation kicked off right in the middle of the process, after appraisal was ordered but before closing. Nice! Yeah I ended up calling my lending agent yesterday and explaining, and he said that I absolutely should sign the refi before closing because it decreases my monthly debt. Good luck on your house.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 14:38
|
|
|
So I guess I have a psychological question or maybe I just need to get my thoughts off my chest. My wife and I started looking at houses just like a few weeks ago and have been doing a couple a weekend. Well, just this weekend we came across a really nice house. There's plenty of space, it's practically new, there's a yard that's big enough without being too big. The financial picture looks pretty good, from what I can tell, even if I decided to move in five or six years for whatever reason. It's an easy commute to Boston. About the only checkbox it didn't tick for me was a garage, but there's space to build one, so I can essentially defer the expense until I'm really dying for it. Basically I was already having visions of myself living in this place. So yesterday I was putting the paperwork together for an offer, but my wife suddenly went into a panic about how things were moving so fast and we hadn't looked at enough houses or considered other towns and so on. This morning she says she feels better and she's comfortable going forward but I guess the nerves have rubbed off on me. On one hand, isn't this supposed to be a months-long, arduous process? Everything's been so smooth and easy and fast that, perversely, I feel like something's "wrong." On the other, I like this house a lot and I feel like I would regret it if I sat on my hands and missed my chance at it. Would I be wrong to trust my instinct and go ahead and make an offer?
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 16:29
|
|
|
RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:So I guess I have a psychological question or maybe I just need to get my thoughts off my chest. Hah, I had the same "oh poo poo this is really happening" freakout as your wife did when we first put in an offer. It's a big step, probably a natural reaction but if you like the house and are really ready to buy, you have to jump at some point. If you're worried that it was too easy well...you've still got most of the process ahead of you. The shopping is the easy part.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 17:20
|
|
|
If it makes you feel better, I spent a week looking before I found myself under contract on a house. I saw 6 houses on a Thursday evening, Thursday night this one popped up on Zillow while I was at a bar, and I was under contract Tuesday afternoon after going to the open house on Sunday. I didn't sleep very well for at least a week after that because, like you, I felt like everything just moved so fast. I close on it in two weeks, and while I'm still nervous, I've gone over every aspect on the decision from a logical standpoint countless times now and I'm confident that I'm doing the right thing. Someone else who has purchased more than one house can chime in, but I feel like if you take a few months to find one, you'll be just as nervous, but the thoughts will be "is this the right house and should we have bought that other one a month ago?" The only thing I'd do a little research on is the garage. Sure, there might be room to build one, but are you sure the municipality will let you build one? Perhaps check with some contractors that have done work in that municipality to find out what the permit process is like. You don't want to move in only to find out that you've maxed out your non-permeable land allotment or something. Thufir posted:Hah, I had the same "oh poo poo this is really happening" freakout as your wife did when we first put in an offer. It's a big step, probably a natural reaction but if you like the house and are really ready to buy, you have to jump at some point. If you're worried that it was too easy well...you've still got most of the process ahead of you. The shopping is the easy part. Also this. The paperwork alone is insane. Erwin fucked around with this message at 17:25 on Oct 13, 2016 |
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 17:23
|
|
|
RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:an easy commute to Boston This exists?  It's probably totally fine and you're just nervous - I was! Didn't sleep right for a solid month. Just make sure you're not stretching financially, and make sure you take seriously the possibility of not-obvious major issues like foundation or whatnot (i.e. get inspections).
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 17:46
|
|
|
RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:So I guess I have a psychological question or maybe I just need to get my thoughts off my chest. Putting in an offer was one of the more terrifying things I've done in my life. Unless you or your wife are super anxious people you'll get over it pretty quick once you get in to the meat of the process.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 18:11
|
|
|
RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:So yesterday I was putting the paperwork together for an offer, but my wife suddenly went into a panic about how things were moving so fast and we hadn't looked at enough houses or considered other towns and so on. This morning she says she feels better and she's comfortable going forward but I guess the nerves have rubbed off on me. You're about to make the single largest purchase in your life. A little bit of nerves is normal. We bought literally the first house we looked at, we had to force ourselves to look at a few others just to double check we weren't crazy. We went from "It will be a year before we can buy a house" to under contract in 4 weeks. 3 of those was double checking mortgage costs with lenders and getting pre-approval forms before looking at a single house. It was... nuts.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 18:29
|
|
|
My wife and I spent about eight months looking at houses before we made our first offer. But, we were looking in many locations, and we were shopping near the bottom of the market (mostly foreclosures) in 2009. So there were a lot of trainwrecks. I will say that we weren't looking every single weekend, but probably 2/3s of weekends and many weeknights. We definitely developed a better sense of what we wanted, and a better eye for problems, over a period of months, and I do think there's value in that. Again though, none of the properties we looked at were remotely new - newest were 1980s builds and oldest were in the 1910s. So every house had to be judged in terms of not only "is this layout and neighborhood suitable for us" but also "is there a lot of dry rot," "does this building have foundation problems" and "is there termite damage". And the answer to one of those three was "yes" on well over 50% of the houses we looked at. We started to notice more subtle things, though. Like I gained an eye for houses with poor or missing roof gutters which meant water being dumped right next to the foundation for years, an issue that tens to make foundation walls tilt or sink. We started to notice small cracks in walls and masonry that indicate more than the usual california background earthquake activity. Many houses had old single-pane windows, many of which were also plainly leaking, albeit not severely, but enough that you'd find damage on sills and stuff. And we started to notice the very high prevalence of kitchens laid out by people who don't use kitchens... it's amazing how many kitchens are badly organized. poo poo like that sounds obvious when I spell it out, but when we first started looking at houses, it was just the experience of the house that made an impression - its "curb appeal," the size and layout of rooms, how many square feet, does it have a yard, how big is the garage, what is the neighborhood like, how far is it to BART, are the appliances and cabinets in the kitchen new and pretty or old and shabby. Anyone can look at a pretty house with the right number of beds/baths/parking/etc. and say "hey I like this one" or "uhh this isn't going to work" but it's easy to focus entirely on that stuff until you get some practice looking past it at the fine details. But if you're looking at brand new (or freshly remodeled) houses, it can be impossible to see those problems. Either they don't exist (yay) or they've been covered up by fresh paint and stucco (very common) and you just can't know until you get a very good, thorough inspection report back. So my advice if you're looking at a new house and it seems perfect is to make an offer, but for god's sake include your inspection contingencies, be very hardcore about inspections, and be emotionally ready to walk away or negotiate hard (which means being ready to walk away) on the basis of the results. This is critical: if you "fall in love" you will be more likely to rationalize or dismiss as minor, problems that are not actually trivial and which you should not overpay to own. And if you're not prepared to walk away, you cannot adequately negotiate with the seller on these problems.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 19:31
|
|
|
RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:So I guess I have a psychological question or maybe I just need to get my thoughts off my chest. If you have a good idea what you are looking for and are realistic about the budget, getting to an offer doesn't have to be a long process. Having just finished buying a house in the Boston area, getting to offer #1 was not the arduous part. Having a losing bid, or having a winning bid on a house that turned out to have major inspection problems, or having to have an offer in the day of the open house, or sitting on my hands through the winter while stock was super low was. Those things don't necessarily have to come up, but they are where the pessimism about the process around here comes from. If they are still taking offers on a Thursday you are already ahead of the game stress-wise.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 19:42
|
|
|
I'm a pretty easy going person who doesn't stress that often. That said, while we were house shopping and while we were under contract for the first house we were interested in (that we eventually walked away from) I started grinding my teeth in my sleep, my wife developed severe insomnia, and we were consistently mental wrecks. It gets better, but yes, that sounds normal.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2016 21:43
|
|
|
RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:So I guess I have a psychological question or maybe I just need to get my thoughts off my chest. Where are you looking, out of curiosity? The wife and I have begun the house-searching process as well. I work in downtown Boston, so an easy commute is on our list as well.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 00:13
|
|
|
If I knew then what I know now about the house we bought in 2012, I probably wouldn't have been so eager to buy it but I can't imagine living anywhere else. Buying a house fucks with you in the best and worst ways.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 03:31
|
|
|
In a masochistic way I feel like I truly own this house after digging a 4x4x4 hole for a drain well. Oh and watching water pool near my garage. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 06:48
|
|
|
Kirios posted:In a masochistic way I feel like I truly own this house after digging a 4x4x4 hole for a drain well. What type of mini did you rent for that hole?
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 09:05
|
|
|
couldcareless posted:I'm a pretty easy going person who doesn't stress that often. That said, while we were house shopping and while we were under contract for the first house we were interested in (that we eventually walked away from) I started grinding my teeth in my sleep, my wife developed severe insomnia, and we were consistently mental wrecks. It doesn't get better it gets worse after you own the house until you reach the point where your are spraying a hose at children in the front yard.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 14:05
|
|
|
Update: Odin smiles upon me; after submitting an appraisal appeal, and getting smacked down with the original appraisal number, the seller has agreed to that number, and I now have a signed contract for $30k less than I thought I was going to be paying. I think I need to go buy some lottery tickets.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 14:05
|
|
|
There are a surprising number of Bostoners who don't post in the city thread. Come join us being surly and complaining about the T!
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 14:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 29, 2024 18:04 |
|
|
SiGmA_X posted:What type of mini did you rent for that hole? I didn't. I used a shovel.  I have to use another, and I am absolutely not doing that again. Digging 64 cubic feet with a shovel is NO. JOKE.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:12
|
|