|
My confession is that I have an honest to God college degree, one of which is in Latin
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 00:34 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 08:03 |
|
quote:When this thread first popped on SA a few years back or whenever, one of the regular confessions I found amusing was the idea that goons were lusting for the horrific torture and death of monkeys for no other reason and than to sate their taste for blood. I'm not laughing anymore because now I too thirst for monkey death. To the point where the lack of material on the internet is leading me to consider taking a vacation to Africa or South America... Somewhere that I can catch a couple monkeys, spend a few days befriending them, and then murdering them in the most gratifying ways possible. Catching a mother and her freshly-imprinted baby would just be the jackpot. I'm not even a violent person outside of this one bizarre obsession that's come over me. The idea of harming basically any other living thing still upsets me greatly but for some reason the idea of killing a monkey with my bare hands is one of the most satisfying things I can think of. I know it's old hat now, this being probably the 10th confession of the kind, but obviously I can't tell anyone about this in real life without them seeing me a monster (rightfully so but I don't give a poo poo) It's spreading quote:The first time I really ever connected with a woman I was sharing a joint with my current girlfriend shortly after we first met. We were watching Andrew Zimmer on her couch, and we really started talking. We both had really opened up and it might have been the most happy I had ever been up to that point in my young adult life. I dunno I smoke weed with my wife and we don't really talk to our families about it either, seems fairly normal well we tell her sister and my cousin because they're huge stoners but that's the exception
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 00:35 |
|
Oh, and if someone recently sent in a confession that went off too early and wasn't finished yet, can you please send another email with your code phrase that says whether the version you sent in afterwards actually was finished, because the order the emails were received is a little wonky and I can't really tell
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 00:37 |
|
loquacius posted:
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 01:21 |
|
Devils Affricate posted:
Do you really think stoners are that self-aware?
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 06:23 |
|
my belly button is full of lint
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 07:35 |
|
loquacius posted:When this thread first popped on SA a few years back or whenever, one of the regular confessions I found amusing was the idea that goons were lusting for the horrific torture and death of monkeys for no other reason and than to sate their taste for blood. I'm not laughing anymore because now I too thirst for monkey death. To the point where the lack of material on the internet is leading me to consider taking a vacation to Africa or South America... Somewhere that I can catch a couple monkeys, spend a few days befriending them, and then murdering them in the most gratifying ways possible. Catching a mother and her freshly-imprinted baby would just be the jackpot. I'm not even a violent person outside of this one bizarre obsession that's come over me. The idea of harming basically any other living thing still upsets me greatly but for some reason the idea of killing a monkey with my bare hands is one of the most satisfying things I can think of. I know it's old hat now, this being probably the 10th confession of the kind, but obviously I can't tell anyone about this in real life without them seeing me a monster (rightfully so but I don't give a poo poo) Has anyone said "I hope you catch Ebola" yet?
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 08:01 |
|
the grimdark proto serial killer poo poo kinda all has to be ignored; it's too lazy and easy to fake. which makes it loop back around to creepy again because you could easily tell the bare honest truth about some extremely horrific poo poo and if you did it on the internet everyone would just be like "you used basic storytelling prose and flow, therefore obv fake"
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 08:14 |
|
H.H posted:Arabic is much simpler, at least the colloquial version. nerd
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 08:30 |
|
Atin-lay is asye-lay.
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 10:04 |
|
I too lust for a world without monkeys. Not because they got murdered or anything but just because they left. Lil guys are hella weird and creepy looking.
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 13:11 |
|
Sorry about all the Latin chat, it's a sore spot with me.
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 13:16 |
|
quote:I was in middle school when Dragonball Z was a huge hit. I was a dorky middle schooler when the Androids and Cell Saga were on, and I rushed home every day to watch it. I started studying it, going online to research the Japanese version and all the episodes that hadn't hit the US yet, and became a pretty big name online on the Temple O' Trunks and DBZ: Uncensored message boards. Incredibly nerdy looking back but at the time, it was my life. and next up here is some SA fanfiction quote:I'm a performance artist and an SA forums poster. Why do I put those in the same sentence? Doobie: the Untold Story
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:00 |
|
Lmao a fake Doobie confession cripes
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:03 |
|
The DBZ workout story reminds me of a derail from the political cartoon thread of a few years ago wherein we saw an editorial about how kids' backpacks were too heavy and it was giving them scoliosis, and some guy responded by saying we should start packing weights in the things and that would solve child obesity. He stuck with this for like three pages of argument. like exercise works like Conan the Barbarian's childhood or something I distinctly remember saying "wouldn't it be a better idea to expand gym classes so that kids are exercising in a healthy manner overseen by a trained professional instead of bending their spines to a ninety-degree angle" and he edited a quote of that post to say "a bunch of feel-good hippy-dippy bullshit that won't work" or something and followed it up with "yeah right "
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:04 |
|
You just don't care enough about the childhood obesity issues to do anything about it loquacious. I would sew all the weights into every backpack just to keep one child 3lbs lighter. Maybe we could flood every way to school so the kids have to walk through waste deep water to further the resistance?
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:21 |
|
Doobie rented the building from a guy who lives in I want to say Northshore, AL which is near Tuscaloosa. It's verifiable on the Pickens county tax site. Nice try tho.
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:26 |
|
She grabbed my hand while i was looking for the number on my phone and whispered in my ear "I'll put that stoner jaw to some better use."
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:32 |
|
pants in my pants posted:Doobie rented the building from a guy who lives in I want to say Northshore, AL which is near Tuscaloosa. It's verifiable on the Pickens county tax site. Nice try tho. I'm glad we have Doob scholars in here who can fact check stories like these for us.
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:36 |
|
loquacius posted:doob jfc how pathetic do you have to be to write this poo poo
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 14:51 |
|
pants in my pants posted:Doobie rented the building from a guy who lives in I want to say Northshore, AL which is near Tuscaloosa. It's verifiable on the Pickens county tax site. Nice try tho. artificially stocked lake posted:jfc how pathetic do you have to be to write this poo poo
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 15:50 |
|
loquacius posted:and next up here is some SA fanfiction for the first confession I didn't take it to those extremes (just some arm/ankle weights my mom had lying around the house) but I would do the same poo poo when I was a kid
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 16:16 |
|
I used to pack all my stuff in my bag instead of use a locker in elem and middle school. One of my health teachers one year told me that was dangerous, but it was literally on the last day of school and he was otherwise a nut. I had scoliosis as a kid and had to wear a brace at night until i stopped growing in time for college. My spine is S shaped and that's a good prognosis so you could never tell it happened, but as a short man i had the potential to be a few inches taller, thanks Obama.
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 16:48 |
|
Putty posted:I used to pack all my stuff in my bag instead of use a locker in elem and middle school. One of my health teachers one year told me that was dangerous, but it was literally on the last day of school and he was otherwise a nut. I had scoliosis and then a stress fracture. I grew to about 6'2, by the time I was 12... at night my brace would creak as I grew and breathed. We lived in a small cottage and my poor brothers and sisters had to wear hearing protection to sleep.
|
# ? Oct 11, 2016 21:43 |
|
quote:I'm seen by loads of people as upstanding and good, but in reality I just have a knack for lying, confusing people/setting them against each other and not getting caught very easily. About 6 years ago I started on weights and swimming regularly, and after about 2 years of it or so started to feel good and carry myself well and hence look good, and started cheating on my wife. Sites like Fetlife and the confidence to talk to people have seen me through 20+ secret partners now, most just once or twice but some longer term. No-one I know would have a clue. With having some confidence again the sex with my wife has never been better, but I can't stop- so many perversions, so many people. quote:I have a friend who became homeless after he was fired from Amazon. For 3 years, I let him crash at my house, rent free. Now, I've got a big house and needed a lot of maintenance done on it, and although he wasn't very good at anything but being a worker drone, he could mow the yard, paint rooms, carry shingles up to the roof while I did all the technical poo poo.
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 00:21 |
|
lol at #1 *at nursing home* "so what did you do with your life?" "well, I was a piece of poo poo that ruined as many people around me as possible" Guy #2: why would you start with 'I have a friend' when he's not your friend and also he's dead
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 01:40 |
|
I still say "my buddy/friend" when referring to my dead friends. I don't think it's that weird. The having the key to the house, but not the deadbolt is weird though. Who doesn't have both keys?
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 02:02 |
|
Might have been one of those bolts that doesn't have a lock or keyhole and just keeps the door shut until you open it from the inside again y'know one of these things
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 02:05 |
|
Abugadu posted:
To avoid spoilers, duh.
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 02:06 |
|
loquacius posted:Might have been one of those bolts that doesn't have a lock or keyhole and just keeps the door shut until you open it from the inside again You can unlock those with a rubber band. Why doesn't everyone have my knowledge of breaking and entering?!
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 02:15 |
|
Solice Kirsk posted:You can unlock those with a rubber band. Why doesn't everyone have my knowledge of breaking and entering?! which confessions did you write
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 02:45 |
|
Solice Kirsk posted:You can unlock those with a rubber band. Why doesn't everyone have my knowledge of breaking and entering?! You definitely cannot, unless the door is hung super super lovely. What the gently caress are you talking about?
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 03:04 |
|
food court bailiff posted:You definitely cannot, unless the door is hung super super lovely. What the gently caress are you talking about? Yeah, that one you can't because it has the groove on the top specifically to stop that work around. Those I think you have to use string and a lot of time/luck to snag and manipulate.
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 03:12 |
|
He wanted that diabetic to die. Wished it. Left remarks like "irritating" and "know it all". It was just a matter of time until he snapped. That confession reads like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU7gnMSzf_c
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 05:25 |
|
Who the hell wears a "dressing gown" in TYOOL 2016?
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 05:44 |
|
Drunk Nerds posted:Who the hell wears a "dressing gown" in TYOOL 2016? someone who just got done fuckin' and hasn't showered yet, so they can't be bothered to put on real clothes just to see someone out the door some people just call "robes" dressing gowns i think
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 06:30 |
|
Don't feel bad for letting lovely people die, the world doesn't need them
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 08:10 |
|
new phone who dis posted:To avoid spoilers, duh. lol
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 08:32 |
|
I think "dressing gown" is British English. It came up a lot in the Hitchhiker's Guide series anyway Anyway quote:I was really interested in magic as a kid - stage magic, not like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings magic. I watched it on TV and read every book I could on how to perform the tricks. I was never really any good - I was too awkward a kid to expertly pull off sleight of hand, and not smart enough or handy enough to build some of the more elaborate tricks. yer a wizard arry quote:I was a major latchkey kid growing up - no siblings and my parents both worked odd shifts for their jobs. I'd usually come home to an empty house, or wake up on my own and go to school, and sometimes I'd go to bed on my own and spend most of the night alone in the house. It was just how it was.
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 15:09 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 08:03 |
|
So the Blair Witch is an alien. It all makes sense now
|
# ? Oct 12, 2016 15:56 |