/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Worldshatter: May 7, 2015; PEPSI for TV-GAME

Nuebot posted:

Nerds looking down on other nerds will never not be funny to me.

I think "science and history nerd" is a good few tiers above "fat anime dance re-enactor nerd"

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:06

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# ? May 9, 2024 18:00

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

There's a difference between 'guilty pleasure of a hobby' and 'all-consuming non-lifestyle'. Those guys are utter losers and watching ppl defend them is delicious. He's bitter because he's watching a person he cares about regress into worse-than-bad habits and health.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:19

nomad2020: Jan 30, 2007

Nerd is nerd is nerd.

To be fair it's more the fact that he hates his girlfriend's lifestyle than anything. Soon to be ex-girlfriend if the nerd has self respect.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:19

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Captain Lavender posted:

[b]My boyfriend [24 M] pranked me in a horrible way and I [20 F]
(...)
I�ve been with my Roger 3 years

Not to get into age-gap-chat again, but is anyone surprised that a dude who was dating a 17-year-old at 21 turned out to be a complete creep?

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:29

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Nuebot posted:

Nerds looking down on other nerds will never not be funny to me.
EDIT: Oh poo poo it did not look that long in the preview window.

End boss Of SGaG* posted:

Maybe those dudes are losers but the guy sounds insanely bitter and insecure over his mediocre life.

so she's dating GBS embodied? nice

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:33

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

nomad2020 posted:

Nerd is nerd is nerd.

To be fair it's more the fact that he hates his girlfriend's lifestyle than anything. Soon to be ex-girlfriend if the nerd has self respect.

I was more amused by the way he just relentlessly poo poo on her friends, and by association her. I mean it's one thing to try and have a discussion about why you think someone's friends are bad and that you have genuine concerns. But another to just get upset and tell them their friends are acting childish and storm off to a coffee shop.

quote:

My 26 YO [F] girlfriend of almost a year thinks I'm 25 YO [M] immature for playing Pokemon Go
My girlfriend is away on a business trip. She called me to talk to me about the dinner she went on with some of her co-workers. Apparently, one of her co-workers was hitting on her, something that happens fairly often and upsets her for good reason. I've always been open to talking through these things with her, and try to be sympathetic and understanding. I get that it sucks working with mostly men who make her feel uncomfortable like that. After we finished talking about tonight's incident, she asked me what I was up to. I had been out playing Pokemon Go, so I told her. I kind of laughed, as I knew that she thought it was dorky. Well she got really upset. She felt it was inconsiderate for me to bring up such an immature topic after such a serious conversation. I didn't feel I was bringing up a topic, I just mentioned that I had been playing.

I'll admit, she had told me she thought it was dorky before, and I would tease her a little bit by mentioning the game, but I never meant to upset her - and to be honest, I don't think she should be upset. I never play video games and I never play this around her. We hang out all the time and I try to be a caring and compassionate boyfriend. But just because I happened to mention that I was playing Pokemon Go tonight makes me "too immature for a relationship"?

I just don't get it. We have an otherwise fantastic relationship. But situations like this one keep coming up every month or two, especially when one of us is out of town. I guess I'm just looking for some insight. You always think you're right in an argument, and this is one of those cases where both of us think the other is being the "unreasonable" one. I'm just hoping for a little perspective from the outside.

tl;dr: I mentioned Pokemon Go at the wrong time, and it upset the girlfriend who said I'm "too immature for a relationship"

I can't not read the title as "my girlfriend thinks I'm twenty five year old [male]"

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:41

End boss Of SGaG*: Aug 9, 2000; I REPORT EVERY POST I READ!

Serephina posted:

There's a difference between 'guilty pleasure of a hobby' and 'all-consuming non-lifestyle'. Those guys are utter losers and watching ppl defend them is delicious. He's bitter because he's watching a person he cares about regress into worse-than-bad habits and health.

I'm sure she'll get better with her boyfriend seething in anger and suspicion constantly, getting into drunken screaming matches, and acting like random bullies are about to converge and beat the poo poo out of them for being lame.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:42

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

What will the people in town think???? is a pretty stupid concern even if those guys sound insufferable. I could do without them or the OP.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:43

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Worldshatter posted:

I think "science and history nerd" is a good few tiers above "fat anime dance re-enactor nerd"

Watch Peep Show and get back to us.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:46

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

What gets me is that the guy could easily get what he wants by being the better example. It sounds like he has nothing going on to get his girlfriend to "see how the other half lives" and "grow up."

# ? Oct 16, 2016 11:51

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

That post pissed me off because one of my best friends in high school never grew out of our embarrassing otaku phase whereas I did and she still hangs around the most obnoxious anime nerds. I feel for the guy because of how insufferable, sloppy and gross those types are but man does he sound pretentious.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 12:18

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

GBS: Whaddaya mean re-enacting dance scenes from my favorite anime after a five hour pizza party with my fat, smelly Wal-Mart greeter friends makes me seem like a loser? Heh, you're one to talk. I mean, you read books about history for crying out loud. Oh by the way, furries are autistic subhumans :smug:

# ? Oct 16, 2016 12:39

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

GBS hasn't really used furries as the bottom rung scapegoat of society since like 2007 dude.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 12:42

Doflamingo: Sep 20, 2006

Yeah sorry but not caring what other people think of you doesn't make your running around with a plastic sword dressed as a magical schoolgirl in any way normal. The boyfriend isn't dealing with it very maturely but come on those guys are a bad influence.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 12:43

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

54 40 or gently caress posted:

That post pissed me off because one of my best friends in high school never grew out of our embarrassing otaku phase whereas I did and she still hangs around the most obnoxious anime nerds. I feel for the guy because of how insufferable, sloppy and gross those types are but man does he sound pretentious.

Exactly. The guy is valid and justified in wanting to keep his girlfriend from the gravity well of uncut putrid awful that is the adult otaku scene, but all he's done is create a "me vs. them" mentality in which only the girlfriend truly loses.

This is what he reminded me of immediately after he started talking about his superior geek tastes in history/science:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciT2PMZPFgg

# ? Oct 16, 2016 12:54

Skeletome: Feb 4, 2011; Tell them about the tournament!

Has it occurred to any of you that it's fake as gently caress and the guys projecting

# ? Oct 16, 2016 13:08

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Yes. It's still fun to talk about.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 13:15

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Corn Dog Fountain posted:

Has it occurred to any of you that it's fake as gently caress and the guys projecting

"It was fake" is the most whitenoise post ever and leads to no discussion.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 13:17

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Corn Dog Fountain posted:

Has it occurred to any of you that it's fake as gently caress and the guys projecting

Can we just probate ppl who post like this in this thread

# ? Oct 16, 2016 13:52

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Captain Lavender posted:

My boyfriend [24 M] pranked me in a horrible way and I [20 F] broke it off with him. He wants to work through it and I�m worried I�ve made the wrong decision. Who�s right here?
(This is re: spiders, if that bothers you, fyi)

I can't handle spiders. I've maintained my composure in situations where I honestly believed I was going to die (my brother and his friends had what they thought was a hilarious prank involving a ski mask, a spray painted airsoft gun, and me) but passed out at work when a daddy long legs/harvestman crawled onto my shoulder.

Oddly enough, my fear of daddy long legs instantly disappeared when I found out they aren't actual spiders.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 14:21

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

I (29M) am a bad husband to my wife (26F). Can I save my marriage?

Short answer: no, you are a piece of poo poo

quote:

I want to preface this by claiming all blame that way I can be honest. If your reading this you already except that I'm a bad guy.

History: My wife and I have been together about 10 or so years. She was kind of a comfort from my former relationship that tore down due to a long distance move. I wasn't very good to her and never gave her a committed relationship initially. She was a virgin but I took that along with her joy for life. I never slept with anyone besides my girlfriend and my wife during this time period ~3-6months and it was only my girlfriend once before we broke up due to both of us in other relationships. Eventually I started dating my wife but didn't give her commitment for a couple months so I could weigh my options. I determined that she was by far the best one and proceeded to ask her to date me exclusively under the condition that she hadn't slept with anyone else. I went to boot camp about 4-5 months later.

We found out she was 8 months pregnant not long after I got back from boot and mos school. (~5 months) I bought a house young and she moved in with me so we could start a family. We had our 1st child and it was a nightmare, I worked night and she would wake me up at noon almost everyday, she was expected to be a full time student and to work for our future. The sleep deprivation caused massive fights, sex died for a while. I also found out that she had slept with someone while we weren't exclusive which wasn't a deal breaker but she lied about it for two years. I no longer had any freedom and was supporting a household on my income which wasn't much. I quit my job to go back to school after a couple years of this. We eventually both graduated and have been very successful in our careers.

Our fights continue to this day, always the same situations. She needs me to do more housework and be more family oriented and I need her to put out.

Recent: A few nights ago we had the same argument again, this time I did everything I could to take the kids so she could do homework. It was 11pm(up for work @5am) and I was getting frustrated because I wanted sex that she has promised for two days. She said I could go to bed and she would wake me with a BJ. She layer the kids down and fell asleep on my sons floor. I woke up around 1 am and called her cell. She came to bed and I held her and started kissing on her, rubbing her back and rear end. She started touching me and then fell asleep. I woke her and she did it three more times. I got frustrated and told her just take her pants off so I could get done and go to bed. She was offended and we argued the rest of the night. Once again talking divorce.

The issues:

1) I don't really trust her, I have never found anything concrete to not trust her and I have dug pretty deep. But they're have been tons of oddities that make me confused. Excess dirty underwear, contacts saved under periods. An aunt who I never speak too texting her about a secret message app that has never been installed. It may just be self consciousness or paranoia but odd. When I found out she lied about who she was with I felt betrayed deeply. Since we weren't together and I had a girlfriend I can't be upset that she explored but she lied for two years! I want to trust her but It's very difficult. Note also that my mother is a piece of poo poo and have always had trust issues with woman, first girlfriend of two years. Serial cheater. Abusive first step mom. Abusive second step mom. No luck with woman.

2) Sex. I need sex, I have a crazy sex drive. I crave it daily, she get upset when I masturbait or look at porn because " it makes her feel like she isn't good enough." She has put forth effort a few times to really blow my mind and give me something special. But it's very rare and often it takes a lot of patience on my part. If I get frustrated for any reason during the day it's pretty much off the table.

3)Lifestyle. I play too many games, it's my hobby and I do it too often. My wife will often pull cables out on me if she wants something done and I don't jump to it. I get extremely frustrated and lash out when she does this. She will also threaten me with police if she doesn't like what I'm doing. Like kick me out of the house not for hitting her or anything. Sometimes I throw things too so maybe it's justified, we have broken a lot between the two of us but it has died out quite a bit in the past few years. One example was that I wanted to have people over for New Years instead of going to her parents, bam police threat.

4)Anger. I get so angry that I'm being ignored and it caused a downward spiral. I have a tendency to self destruct. She also has developed anger issues, hers are probably as bad as mine but less drastic.

Conclusion: So, that's the gist of it. Any questions I will answer honestly. I want my marriage but I want a good relationship too. And I want my needs to be considered as important as hers. Her needs benefit the family, mine benefit me, and her I think. She does orgasm everytime we have sex. It a big deal for me so I try to pay her back, I would assume she enjoys it.

TLDR; Marriage is a mess, different views on everything and difficult to change. Not talking currently and considering divorce. I am very frustrated, and need some advice.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 14:54

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

The worst part about all of this is the fact that they've been together for 10 loving years. At this point neither of them can blame anyone but themselves.

EDIT: Wait a cock gobbling minute...He's been dating her since he was 19 and she was 16?

# ? Oct 16, 2016 15:06

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Jack Trades posted:

The worst part about all of this is the fact that they've been together for 10 loving years. At this point neither of them can blame anyone but themselves.

EDIT: Wait a cock gobbling minute...He's been dating her since he was 19 and she was 16?

And she started as a side piece.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 15:17

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

ikanreed posted:

And she started as a side piece.

Under the condition that she was a virgin.

This guy is a piece of poo poo, but besides that they are not well matched and only were together because she got pregnant. Time to move on.

Also lol @ "we found out she was 8 months pregnant". If only there was a way to notice before 8 months!

# ? Oct 16, 2016 15:45

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Lockback posted:

Also lol @ "we found out she was 8 months pregnant". If only there was a way to notice before 8 months!

How fat do you have to be to not notice that you're pregnant earlier than that?
I'm not a vagina-haver but I imagine that it becomes noticeable to the eye way before 8 months.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 15:48

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Jack Trades posted:

How fat do you have to be to not notice that you're pregnant earlier than that?
I'm not a vagina-haver but I imagine that it becomes noticeable to the eye way before 8 months.

3 months without a period is certainly no cause for concern.

Happens alllllll the time.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 15:59

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

I am a terrible person who did a very lovely thing and now I feel bad, how do I stop feeling bad?

Me [30s F] with my husband [45 F] of 7 years, husband sacrificing my morals to get ahead

quote:

Quick history: my husband and I have generally had a very good relationship. We are both very ambitious people, and until a few weeks ago, I thought I was the more workaholic one. We both work in high-intensity jobs, as a result we have very little time together. We don't mind, our careers are very important to both of us. We work in the same office but have slightly different jobs. He earns more money than me even though I work longer hours.

About a year ago, my husband heard that he and one of his friends are both being considered for the same position. This promotion would mean a lot to both of us and of course, I encouraged him to try and get it.

A few weeks ago I was able to engineer a situation where my husband essentially stabbed his friend in the back to get ahead. Luckily this worked, he got the promotion! However I can't stop thinking about the impact our actions had on his family (I'm friends with is wife) and their life. I'm wracked with guilt, I can't stop worrying that everyone knows what we did!

What's done is done, I'm not interested in having my husband demoted. However, I haven't been sleeping or doing my job properly. I can't look anyone in the eye at work, this is seriously hurting my career and my relationship with my husband. How can I alleviate this horrific guilt? It's the first time I've ever done anything like this.

TL;DR encouraged my husband to stab his friend in the back in order to get promotion, now wracked with guilt.

She was a little cryptic, how bad could it have been? Luckily she elaborated in the comments

quote:

The friend (who I'll call Duncan) had a fantastic relationship with the CEO of the company. The CEO had been grooming Duncan as his replacement for some time. The CEO also trusts my husband but not to the same extent as he trusted Duncan. I helped my husband record Duncan saying unpleasant things about the CEO, specifically making fun of a physical deformity. Then I made sure that the recording ended up on the CEO's desk.

Just a note, this particular office is not a nurturing place. People "tell tales" quite often to get ahead, but this doesn't usually have lasting effects.

I realise how awful this sounds, I feel completely terrible about this. I'm honestly disgusted at my own behaviour but also angry with my husband for not stopping me. He's usually the reasonable one who stops me when I go overboard with my ambition

What the gently caress lady, this is some evil, and illegal, poo poo.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 16:04

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

DOMDOM posted:

I realise how awful this sounds, I feel completely terrible about this. I'm honestly disgusted at my own behaviour but also angry with my husband for not stopping me. He's usually the reasonable one who stops me when I go overboard with my ambition

Could she be shifting the blame away from herself any harder?
"I do insane crazy poo poo but it's not MY fault. It's my husbands fault for not stopping me. I just couldn't help myself."

# ? Oct 16, 2016 16:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Fire the rear end in a top hat who "made fun" of the deformity and the scum who leveraged it.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 16:57

Doflamingo: Sep 20, 2006

I guess that explains how so many companies have absolute sociopaths for CEOs.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:05

Marijuana Nihilist: Aug 27, 2015; by Smythe

lol she is literally crowdsourcing her superego to reddit

the last psychiatrist said this would happen

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:12

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Serephina posted:

There's a difference between 'guilty pleasure of a hobby' and 'all-consuming non-lifestyle'. Those guys are utter losers and watching ppl defend them is delicious. He's bitter because he's watching a person he cares about regress into worse-than-bad habits and health.

Nobody's defending the anime nerds. The only loser that ppl are defending in this scenario is the 30-year-old still nursing the massive chip on his shoulder he has from high school.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:27

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

She's a terrible person and probably wouldn't feel guilty if she would just own and accept it. I feel like a lot of "guilty people" are actually just trying to reconcile their heartless actions with the way they perceive themselves.

I am dumb and don't know anything though.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:33

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Is her husband's buddy still a good guy if they were able to record him making fun of a "physical deformity" or just good at pretending he isn't an rear end in a top hat? Either way her and her husband are awful.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Is her husband's buddy still a good guy if they were able to record him making fun of a "physical deformity" or just good at pretending he isn't an rear end in a top hat? Either way her and her husband are awful.

Exactly, they're clearly all poo poo.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:40

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Career people who make it big tend to be assholes. They're probably all dicks, so who cares.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:41

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

knew i was going to enjoy this one when i read the title

quote:

My [24M] Girlfriend [24F] of 6 months thinks she is superior to the 'average person' and talks about it alot, it bothers me. How do I change her thinking?

Met this girl 6 months ago and she is one of the most amazing girls I've met. I've dated a few psychos and she is just the exact opposite. We love a lot of the same things and overall it's a great relationship. I've had to look past a lot of things e.g she's had quite the sexual past and it took me a while to move past it but I have.

Buuuut. Ever since we first me she brings up things like "my family has a very high IQ, I have an IQ of 135" and things like "When you're higher up the food chain you notice how average people are". It actually makes me cringe sometimes because she is 24, has failed a few subjects at uni, doesn't have her license or a car and In reality she is smart but I wouldn't say she is a genius. She also says things like "I noticed the people I work around are lower than me in every way, for example I have way better genetics". Which was a very odd comment.

I have been with women who are extremely intelligent (e.g young doctors & dentists) and also very pretty and they never said things like this. Though they had issues on the opposite spectrum. I consider myself 'smart' as I have almost graduated a masters degree while juggling full-time work but I would never say I'm higher up or better than someone who hasn't.

She is very caring and nice and I feel like if she didn't have this one little flaw it would be perfect. How do I make her see that saying these things is very deluded and not a nice way to view people and that it bothers me?

TL;DR Girlfriend always thinks she's smarter/better than other people despite not having done much in life and brings it up quite often. Please give advice on how I can bring this up and talk about it without sounding like a dick.

Basically I don't wanna be like "but you aren't that smart?". "Why do you think you are so much better than everyone?".

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:43

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

gaslight her until she's convinced she's dumb and forgetful.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:48

bone app the teeth: May 14, 2008

d&d: the girlfriend

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:49

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# ? May 9, 2024 18:00

lunar detritus: May 6, 2009

DOMDOM posted:

I am a terrible person who did a very lovely thing and now I feel bad, how do I stop feeling bad?

Me [30s F] with my husband [45 F] of 7 years, husband sacrificing my morals to get ahead

She needs to be more Claire from House of Cards than Skyler from Breaking Bad. JUST COMPARE THEIR ENDINGS LADY, GO FULL SOCIOPATHIC.

# ? Oct 16, 2016 17:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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