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Arcade Rabbit posted:As someone who lives in Honolulu, I can confirm that simply coming to Honolulu at all is the next strike of the LP curse. 
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Oct 4, 2016 05:12
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Pyroi posted:How did I miss this for most of a year? Seriously, Chokes' LPs are the best. On the plus side you now have a backlog to binge on.
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Oct 4, 2016 05:36
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Arcade Rabbit posted:As someone who lives in Honolulu, I can confirm that simply coming to Honolulu at all is the next strike of the LP curse. I like it I mean it's touristy but I did a yoga headstand on a paddleboard and it was great also I fell in a bunch
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Oct 4, 2016 06:37
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Just watch out, Chokes. Without the Wasps around, you may find yourself targeted by the Sharks. Both the aquatic and arcade-going varieties.
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Oct 5, 2016 03:49
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FeyerbrandX posted:It isn't your block yet. A couple weeks away from home and the Wasps may have started legal proceedings citing imminent domain. Didn't the Bundys just try that and the judge threw it out?
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Oct 5, 2016 13:49
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RIP tarp wasp.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:46
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Derek Barona posted:Sharks. Both the aquatic and arcade-going varieties. No see, that's the trick. Sharks are actually relatively chill. The Wasps themselves are in fact here, and they are very good friends with the Cockroaches, Spiders, Centipedes, and Snakes. And they like invading your home just as much as the Wasps do.
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Oct 6, 2016 02:16
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Hey someone do me a solid and educate this guy about the LP CURSE. This seemed like the best thread to ask in 
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Oct 6, 2016 02:45
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100 HOGS AGREE posted:Hey someone do me a solid and educate this guy about the LP CURSE. Could also try Jade Star's XCOM 2 lp, though so much as breathing of the curse in his direction is often enough to bring Armageddon.
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Oct 6, 2016 03:41
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KataraniSword posted:Could also try Jade Star's XCOM 2 lp, though so much as breathing of the curse in his direction is often enough to bring Armageddon. Or talk to Broken Loose, whose house collapsed during the mmbn6 LP.
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Oct 7, 2016 05:57
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Update coming Tuesday-ish! Expect drama, intrigue, and FIGHTING (out of the sepia corner)
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Oct 16, 2016 06:04
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Hi thread! Guess what happened while I was on vacation! Did you guess a loving disaster? Congratulations, you have an attention span! While we were out, someone hit the fence in our front yard. I live next to a parking lot, and I'm pretty sure it was a semi hitting it from the side. It was basically caved in and hanging by one board. On the other hand, I did get to use a power saw to take it down, and it was cathartic as hell. Rezen would've been proud. Anyway here's your update or something.
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Oct 17, 2016 05:12
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Canto VI, Stanza 1: Everybody Loves a Fight Alright. You guys came to me, so sell me on this poo poo. You first, sword guy. Tell me about the Knight Magus.  Under my tutilage, your blade will seek your enemies' throats without fail. You will burn, and pillage, and spill blood in the name of— Woah, hold up. I actually have to fight? ...yes? As in, put in physical effort. ...yes. And get hit by weapons. ...uh... ...hmm. What about you, robes? Tell me about the Arch Magus. I'll teach you to fry the skin off a grown man's face. Sold    Gettin' stronger now... Gonna fly nooooow~ Stop singing. Aw. Greetings, endentured morons! After untold years of training, your fearless leader returns an archmage! You were gone for 15 minutes. And you look the same as you did before. Except squishier! You guys are real killjoys, you know that?By popular demand, hornhead will be learning zap instead of bonk. I approve. I mean, it's not like he's going to roll up his robe sleeves and work. That's what we have summons for.  'nother day, another dungeon. Maybe they don't have anything new to throw at us? Oh, I've got some new stuff to throw at them. It's... It's not poop, is it? ... Right? It's not poop?  Hey, you summoned him. So I did.  Oh, man. I love starting a new floor with treasure. I hear that. It's like, "Good job with all the homicide! Have some theft!" Reminds me of home. Except for the whole horrible sepia-toned nightmare part. Well, yeah.  So this is the book everyone's freaking out about? *flips through pages* Well? Woah that's raunchy. What, the thing on page 127? ... How did you— Lucky guess nothing to see here move on Guys? I keep looking at the woman on the cover, and I swear I've seen her somewhere before. What, you mean the Spirit? It's just stock photos, Vlad. They photoshop that poo poo together right before release. Seriously. It's the Spirit. Yeah, but somebody had to pose for it. I'm just sayin'. I'm serious, you guys! She's right on the cover! Aliel is the Spirit of the Book! Wha? Oh, sorry. Didn't catch that. There's this weird droning buzz whenever you talk. You're an rear end. There it is again! Check it out. I'm gonna torch these fools. Or not? I think killing a legendary hero might have pissed them off... No sweat. I'll just talk our way past them. Hello, fellow heroes! Mind if we scooch through here? There's this really handsome guy with horns trying to kill us, and— There he is! In the name of our fallen comrade, the evildoers must die!   For Ricerche!  Blast! They've seen through my clever ruse! Maybe don't try talking to them next time. Or in the future. ... Or to us. ... Basically, what I'm saying is don't talk. Five, six... I keep counting, and there keeps being more of them than us. Am I doing it wrong?  All of you start stabbing or we are going to die Playtime's over. This is as friendly an introduction as we're going to get to future random encounters. You may recall that Paper Sorcerer has some balance issues. The combat system is nifty but delicate. One slight nudge in the wrong direction, and things snowball hilariously out of control. You'd think the enemies would get more powerful to balance things out—and they will—but the playtesters realized that wouldn't be enough and put out a patch that fine tunes the hahahahahahah nooooope. What they actually did was grab the dial marked "Enemies Per Encounter" and crank it up until it snapped off. Your (and Vlad's) eyes do not deceive you. That is seven heroes. Seven. We're actually extremely lucky; most of these guys are mid-tier repeats. Later on, they won't be.     One down! I got the leader! Uh. You want to chip in here, chief? ...hello? Anybody home?      Sweet Samhain I done told you fucks once. I'm an archmage.  Once you change class to Arch Magus, there's no real point to physical attacks anymore. Black Bolt will hit for 30 to 50, Frost Fall and Scorch nearly doubles in damage, and we have a whopping nine Energy to play with. Keep in mind that Black Bolt is 2 Energy and has no cooldown. The Sorceror can fire it eight times in a row before we're out of ammo, and that's just our baseline. And, it gets even better! We also pick up Soul Steal for our trouble. Not only does it drain HP, but it also gives you a ridiculous three Energy when used. That's right: every four turns, you get free HP and a huge Energy recharge. It's insane. And it's the starting skill. On top of that, the Sorceror isn't the only one with new abilities. This is a good chance to test group combat tactics, so let's take some of our lesser used skills out for a spin. First of all, remember all those buffs they cast? Remember that big shiny reset button Frank has?    But wait, there's more! *hisssss*  Wait. How did you drain all of them at once? Gotta use the right tools for the job!Black Storm does AoE damage while topping off Vlad's HP. It's not super broken or anything—the damage it does is just so-so—but every little bit helps. Plus, it's free HP! Everyone loves free HP!     loving shitbiscuits how many of them are there Ooh! Ooh! Let me help!  zzzz Boom! What's up. How does that even work? Oh no. I'm not explaining herbalism to you. We'll be here for the rest of eternity. No, I get that part. You're using plants and poo poo. But isn't nightshade, like, poisonous? ...yes. So why would it put them to sleep? Shouldn't it kill them? ...uh... I mean, is it a dosage thing? Is it— Shut up it just works okay Is it opposite day or something? No. ...Nightshade causes Sleep, which is very helpful for these huge brawls. As with most RPGs, Sleep shuts down the target until the next time they take direct damage. It'll eventually wear off on its own, but on the scale from "miss a few turns in Final Fantasy" to "instakill against gold box D&D monsters," it rates a solid "poison and kite in EverQuest." Look, it's a very specific scale. I didn't invent the science, I just use it. Anyway! With the rest of our opponents locked up, we can work through them one at a time. The fighters have irritatingly high levels of defense and HP, but it's nothing we haven't seen before. And, soon enough...       DURR HURR LOOK AT ME I HAVE HORNS AND CAST ICE SPELLS  ... That's you. That's what you sound like.   loving finallyFive minutes later, and they're all dead. These guys are scrubs, and it was still a slog. I am not looking forward to the higher floors.  Oh hey, a new skill for Vlad! Dark Gift complements Dark Storm for obvious reasons. Between this and Willow's group heal, we can counter mass damage shenanigans pretty well. Quick little rant: I've always found group heals to be a huge turning point in games like this. RPGs love to throw enemies at you that damage your entire party. They crop up very early on, and it forces you to either invest half your actions keeping everyone hanging on by a thread or pick which party members you want to keep alive. It's the biggest, most blatant instance of "couldn't be bothered to balance enemy encounters" that you'll ever see. But! When mass heals start showing up, the dynamic shifts dramatically. When poo poo gets dire, you can spam mass heal for two or three turns, and everyone's back on their feet. It's even better in Paper Sorcerer because we don't have MP. As long as we've got the Energy and a cooled down skill, Willow and Vlad can top off everyone's HP whenever they feel like it. Suck it, game!   Yog loving Sothoh, that was way too much work. Why were there seven of them? Aren't the pros limited to four per group? Maybe five? You think these assholes care about fair play? I've seen four of them get together and kick the poo poo out of a wandering imp for absolutely no reason. Poor lil' guys. They're more afraid of you than you are of them. Yeah, it's pretty sad. Oh well, peace out! What Where's she goin'? I don't know! Where did you come from? Why does any of this happen? Who's in charge around here?! Is it me?  No Aw.  Loooooot  Maybe we've finally run outta stuff to steal? Nah. They have to keep an even distribution of valuables per floor. What? Why? It's basic dungeon engineering. Otherwise, you're one OSHA inspection away from getting shut down. What happens when a dungeon shuts down, anyway? A lot of people lose their jobs, for starters. You should be thanking me. You guys have guaranteed long term employment. We still don't get paid. You'll get nothing and you'll like it, minion     Wow. These really are the world's most valuable ashtrays. Now I just want to take a smoke break. I mean, who the hell knows what I'd find in there? You know that stuff'll kill ya, right? You know I can replace my lungs, right?The Obsidian staff is a great find. We equip it on the Sorceror since he's going full ham with spells, and his Magic rating shoots through the roof. You think it's funny now? Wait until we get back to the Skill Trainer and pump up his Magic. My goal is to explode our foes like they were in a Monty Python sketch, and by gods, I think we can do it. Also of interest...  They're not even trying anymore. Hey, if it makes my life easier, I'm all for it. ...anybody else think that was really far away? Ehn. It's not like a little exercise'll kill us. See, this is why I got atheletes' muscles stitched on me ahead of time.   Ugh. My shinsplints are killing me. I'm tellin' you, paisan. You can't skip leg day. *huff* *puff* You okay, chief? of course I am *huff* I'm in excellent shape *puff* like a finely tuned machine *wheeze*  Holy cow! Basta wit' the sacrilege. *crosses self* *kisses saint's medallion* My bad.    Thought I was kidding about the encounters, didn't you? Though, things are going to go down a little bit differently this time... I'm not liking this whole "effort" thing. There's gotta be a faster way of doing this. I ain't even gonna say it. ...no? But I'm gonna spell it S-A-W-F-T SAAAAAAAAAWFT What the—that's not how you spell soft at all! Good catch, chief. Well, someone has to keep you idiots keep talking good.With Raging Bull back in the lineup, this fight goes a lot quicker. We can pop Blood Rage, fire off both AoE attacks, and knock half these guys out within the first few turns. Bull's skillset will be very helpful from here on out. You're going to be seeing a lot more Minotaur in the future. Anyway, with all that damage getting thrown around, we finish the fight in about two minutes. It's completely uneventful. But afterwards...    This thing costs six Energy to deploy, so you know it's gonna be some serious business ownage. And this is the first spell the Arch Magus learns. poo poo's gonna get incredible by endgame, I can just feel it.   holy poo poo gimme Look at me, I'm a Roman general! Somebody make a bust of this poo poo! Sorry, left my sculpting tools at home. Curse you, space-time continuum  Took loving long enough... You'd think they'd run out of heroes eventually. I mean, how many more can they even fit in here? You just had to ask, didn't you.Meanwhile... Everybody ready? I'm ready Are you sure this is a good idea, love? Hell yeah I'm sure! get in
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Oct 17, 2016 05:13
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It's baaaaaack  And just as hilarious as ever.  your fence, though. Glad to hear no one died and you didn't lose your house!
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Oct 17, 2016 05:20
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StrixNebulosa posted:It's baaaaaack I've done five LPs so far and haven't abandoned a single one. It may take three years to finish, but we're seeing this one to completion. Anyway I'm willing to sacrifice my fence to keep my house safe while I was on vacation. I didn't even like that fence. It made the yard look cramped. 
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Oct 17, 2016 05:25
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Chokes McGee posted:Nightshade causes Sleep, which is very helpful for these huge brawls. As with most RPGs, Sleep shuts down the target until the next time they take direct damage. It'll eventually wear off on its own, but on the scale from "miss a few turns in Final Fantasy" to "instakill against gold box D&D monsters," it rates a solid "poison and kite in EverQuest." It's worth noting that the Imp starts with a party-wide Sleep spell. It's also worth noting that "direct damage" means regular attacks; physical skills will not wake up a target. And Sleep works on a surprisingly large amount of enemies (even some bosses; it completely destroys Miles' gimmick). What I'm saying is Imp is basically the best party member in terms of utility, though he does fall off in the lategame since he never does anything especially big in terms of pure damage.
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Oct 17, 2016 06:35
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Chokes McGee posted:It'll eventually wear off on its own, but on the scale from "miss a few turns in Final Fantasy" to "instakill against gold box D&D monsters," it rates a solid "poison and kite in EverQuest." So "mandatory kit for any low-level noob team that can use it but since it doesn't work on I find it odd that I know this scale by heart.
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Oct 17, 2016 06:55
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If you're playing 1980s mode (don't!) you're pretty much required to start with the Imp to use his sleep spell to not die on floor 1. Don't play 1980s mode.
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Oct 17, 2016 06:57
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TheGreatEvilKing posted:If you're playing 1980s mode (don't!) you're pretty much required to start with the Imp to use his sleep spell to not die on floor 1. So in 1980s mode, mass sleep strats go up a notch on the scale from "poison and kite in EQ" to "poison and kite in Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup", then.
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Oct 17, 2016 07:01
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What a pleasant surprise to see that the Minotaur is a certified G and a bona fide stud. It's a rare skill set, you know: after all, you can't teach that.
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Oct 17, 2016 07:26
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The Minotaur's damage variance is still a thing, but he will more often than not completely wreck everyone's poo poo with the strategy Chokes has settled on.  I once lucked into a nice bit of gear that made him even more absurd.Still so glad this LP happened.
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Oct 17, 2016 09:39
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TheGreatEvilKing posted:Don't play 1980s mode. dis here poster gets it SatansOnion posted:What a pleasant surprise to see that the Minotaur is a certified G and a bona fide stud. It's a rare skill set, you know: after all, you can't teach that. Well. I mean, Frank's seven feet tall, and you can't teach that either.
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Oct 17, 2016 13:58
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Genocyber posted:It's worth noting that the Imp starts with a party-wide Sleep spell. It's also worth noting that "direct damage" means regular attacks; physical skills will not wake up a target. And Sleep works on a surprisingly large amount of enemies (even some bosses; it completely destroys Miles' gimmick). What I'm saying is Imp is basically the best party member in terms of utility, though he does fall off in the lategame since he never does anything especially big in terms of pure damage. Also I probably should've gone Minotaur/Imp/Puppet late game but ehn. As we've established in the past, it's a lot more hilarious to wander into this stuff with an underprepared party. 
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Oct 17, 2016 13:59
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TheGreatEvilKing posted:If you're playing 1980s mode (don't!) you're pretty much required to start with the Imp to use his sleep spell to not die on floor 1. DO play 1980s mode. Be real man, like me I might be a masochist
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Oct 17, 2016 14:26
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mauman posted:DO play 1980s mode. Oh, sure, other people can play it. That's fine, just know that everyone will laugh at your misery and you'll feel ashamed.
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Oct 17, 2016 14:28
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Chokes McGee posted:Oh, sure, other people can play it. That's fine, just know that everyone will laugh at your misery and you'll feel ashamed. They can laugh all they want. I know my worth 
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Oct 17, 2016 14:31
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I can't decide if I love  Puppet or vlad-sippy-hat.png the most from this update.Either way, glad to hear you're back, and that fence did it's duty, protecting your home. 
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Oct 17, 2016 17:30
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Chokes McGee posted:
 Who did this!? Why don't I have a chin? You don't have a chin, Major Burns. And my my eyes, they look so lifeless. Yeah, almost like there's nothing back there.  And my horns, my beautiful beautiful horns. And who made the helmet look like a toilet brush!?Everyones a critic
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Oct 17, 2016 23:45
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I suppose if more and more people get stronger and stronger area skills, it makes a little bit of sense for enemy numbers to increase as well.
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Oct 18, 2016 00:10
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I'm surprisingly okay with the image of Big Mino. But who'd be Enzo? It sure isn't gonna be Sorc or Vlad.
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Oct 18, 2016 02:12
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Derek Barona posted:I'm surprisingly okay with the image of Big Mino. But who'd be Enzo? It sure isn't gonna be Sorc or Vlad.  how you doin'
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Oct 18, 2016 02:47
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Oh look, an enemy encounter consisting of one or two similarly-leveled enemies along with a bunch of lower level ones. Whatever shall I do? I just start cackling with glee every time I see a large group of enemies because of the Minotaur's hilarious skill set. Fayrn fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Oct 21, 2016 |
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Oct 18, 2016 23:10
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Chokes, you're a fuckin' star. I couldn't stop laughing through most of this update. Also yeah, there are lots of unofficial scales. My personal favourite is the Eye of the Beholder scale of Enemy Dickery, going from "Single Kobold" (Awww, look at this widdle guy doing d6 damage... Oops, I grazes him and he fell down!) all the way to "Four Mind Flayers Hiding Round A Corner" (You'd think "Beholder" was at the top of this list, but no, Beholder bullshit has nothing on "INVISIBLE All Party Paralyze Projectile") You can tell how badly a game is balanced by this scale, because it goes up and down hilariously quickly in EoB (Lvl 1: Kobolds. Lvl 3: Wait, Did Someone Misread the Kuo-Toa Entry, Where Did That Lightning Come From? and then... Lvls 4 and 5: Infinispawning Poisonous Spiders Before You Get Cure Poison. Level 6: Uhhh, Thri-Kreen can paralyse people, sometimes. Also Groups of Kenku with a non-homing Magic Missile, I guess.)
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Oct 20, 2016 03:39
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So, wait, what level of bullshit would the mission in GTA: Vice City, where you have to rescue Lance's sorry rear end, count as? gently caress you, Lance; the only way I managed to pass that mission in the first place was because a garbage truck spawned nearby, and thank god for that. Seriously, I screamed so hard at that mission that I gave myself a headache. Gilgamesh255 fucked around with this message at 14:39 on Oct 20, 2016 |
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Oct 20, 2016 14:36
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Gilgamesh255 posted:So, wait, what level of bullshit would the mission in GTA: Vice City where you have to rescue Lance's sorry rear end count as?  Why did you make me remember its existance
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Oct 20, 2016 14:39
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Yapping Eevee posted:Oh man, gently caress that mission. Because if I have to suffer through that memory, I'm not doing so alone. Misery loves company and such.
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Oct 20, 2016 14:51
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Gilgamesh255 posted:So, wait, what level of bullshit would the mission in GTA: Vice City, where you have to rescue Lance's sorry rear end, count as? Get yourself the Sea Sparrow and it's a breeze. Getting the Sea Sparrow, though. 
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Oct 20, 2016 15:01
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Welp, looks like the LP Curse got hold of him... Just now caught up. Game is on my wishlist and I'll buy it once I have some spare change. Your LP is amazing.
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Nov 3, 2016 05:09
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Well, poo poo. Alright folks, let's play "What Misfortune/Bullshit Hit Chokes This Time"! ...Yeah, the name's a work in progress. I'm guessing either his pipes burst again, bees, or he's on a rampage of rage a la mode God of War and/or Asura's Wrath, but hopefully with less dying.
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Nov 3, 2016 09:59
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I think it's most likely that Chokes is, in fact, Mike Pence, and he's trying to convince Trump not to do something insane. It's ok, Mike, you can just let the bastard crash and burn!
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Nov 3, 2016 10:20
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