quote:

My sister's [26F] husband [34M] admitted to having feelings for me [26F]. Family get-togethers have gotten very uncomfortable.

My sister got married 4 years ago. Her husband, Dan, is not the best guy in my opinion. My parents aren't too fond of him, either. He's not abusive as far as we can tell, but he's just not a good guy. He's rude, he doesn't treat my sister with much respect. She's pregnant right now and he's constantly making "jokes" about how as soon as the kid is born he'll be heading to the bar every night, he won't change a single diaper, just call him when the kid is old enough to talk. Just super funny stuff, obviously.

Which isn't to say my sister is a helpless victim. She knew what he was like before she married him. And she listened to my parents, me, our brother, several friends all tell her that they didn't think it was for the best. Plus she's just such a pushover. She lets him do whatever the hell he wants and just goes with it. And they make horrible decisions. He cheated on her about a year in. So she cheated on him to get back at him. I honestly don't know what happened. My parents have one of the most respectable, loving relationships I've ever seen. And my brother and his wife are just amazing together. But I still love her. She's my twin sister. And outside of her relationship she's an amazing, smart, funny, insightful, beautiful woman.

But here's my problem. About 3 months ago, her husband admitted he was attracted to me and would pursue me if he wasn't married. He didn't tell me this, he told my sister. And of course she came bawling to me about it. Did she dump him? No, of course not. She decided she was fine with it since I would never sleep with him or anything. I told her I didn't support that decision, but whatever. She did it anyway.

In the last 3 months, every time I've seen him, it's incredibly loving awkward. My sister and I live in the same apartment building, so that's pretty often. And our brother lives not far away, so we all get together with our SOs often. We want our sister there, and her husband is part of the deal, so he's always there, too. Plus we see our parents about once a month for dinner. My family is very close and always has been. About a month ago he got super drunk and started flirting with me very heavily. I shut it down and told my sister...her reaction consisted of scolding him and then dropping it. I just hate being in the same room as someone who is so despicable.

I don't know what to do. I love my sister and don't want to cut her out of my life. But I can't deal with her husband. But if she comes somewhere, he comes, too. Uninviting him would drive her away, which I don't want. Does anyone have any advice that I'm missing here? I have no idea how to handle this.

tl;dr: My sister's husband has a crush on me, I hate it and she won't do anything about it. I don't want to be around him but I don't want to drive my sister away. I have no idea what to do.

Jack Trades posted:

I cannot for the life of me parse anything meaningful from that story.


What?


What?!

quote:

(not me but) A friend of mine once told me that when he wanted to gently caress and his GF didn't, (which was most of the time), she would just read a book or watch netflix topless and he would sit there on the bed and jerk off to her tits...this has to be the most depressing relationship story I've ever heard IRL

quote:

I jerk off to our wedding/honeymoon sex tapes.

quote:

Moved in with my boyfriend of 5 years about a year ago. My sex drive is much higher than his so we rarely have a go at it. Once a week if that. He doesn't kiss me anymore which really bothers me as he used to all of the time. Not sure if that is normal. Also, he jerks it every morning by himself. I think he just might not be physically attracted to me anymore. It can be pretty painful sometimes. Like I physically feel my heart breaking.

quote:

The guy I gently caress turns the lights off - fine with me, I'm confident as hell in the dark. I do the poo poo I want to do and he imagines someone else doing it - we both win.

quote:

We don't. I'm 34 and we don't have sex any more. As far as the emotional intimacy goes, that stopped too. All our conversations are transactions regarding the maintenance of the household.

I'm still with her because we have a kid together. Our kid is 6 now. I've had sex with my wife maybe three times since we conceived our daughter. Before that, it happened like once every couple months, if that. When we were young, we humped like rabbits and it was awesome.

I've always been in the same decent physical shape. I pay all the bills. I'm not an rear end in a top hat or anything. I've spent years and years blaming myself, looking for some kind of inadequacy in what I am as a human being. In the end, there's nothing. Women at work have flirted with me. Some of them were beautiful and I would have dated them in a heartbeat. But I stay away out of loyalty for my daughter.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I've listened to years of screaming, yelling, being told what trash I am despite everything I do, being told that nothing I do is ever good enough, etc. A few years ago I cut off all my friends because she threw a fit. My brother just died too, so I'm even more depressed about my life. I have nobody to talk to, so on occasion I get selfish and type out little rants like this online.

Sometimes I think about how badly I hosed up in my life just by making the decision to stay with her. Sometimes I think about how if she screams at me or tells me how worthless I am one more time, I'll jump off a building or something. In the end, I can't because I'm the only piece of normalcy in my daughter's life. I think my wife knows this, so she acts however she pleases even if it tears me up inside.

mind the walrus posted:

The number of people in 2016 who rationalize that forcing an unhappy marriage will create a better environment for their child is frightening.

mind the walrus posted:

The number of people in 2016 who rationalize that forcing an unhappy marriage will create a better environment for their child is frightening.

quote:

My boyfriend is a great guy. We've been dating for 3 years next month and have gotten along very well. I trust him, I love him to pieces and I feel like he does the same.

My issue here comes down to his fetish. It's a really soft kink in my opinion, not intimidating or off-putting in the least, but it's the severity to which it owns his life. He's in to a very specific kind of socks, in only one color. He's very particular about the shape, height, cut, fabric, etc but once those needs are met you don't really have to do much else to get him off. So long as a girl is wearing socks to this specific preferences he's as aroused as possible, they don't even have to do anything.

He told me this on our first date after becoming official. We were at a mall and he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he had a thing for these kind of socks. I was like drat wow getting straight to it, but I also found it kind of cute. He's a quiet, serious guy and knowing he had such a weak point was admittedly interesting.

Well, I obliged and quickly learned how severely this fetish takes over his life. Hes obsessed, he knows he's obsessed. Neither of us really know what to do about it. I have no issue with it in bed, I'm fine with wearing them and watching him get all hot and bothered, I'm used to wearing them to work(we work in different departments of the same store) and flashing them every so often to get him a little riled up. We've built a so far successful sex life together, and hes been equally supportive of my own kinks. But that's not enough for him. He'll be satisfied for a while and then while we're cuddling bring up something about how he needs more satisfaction. I'll try and spice things up with his fetish(videos, sex positions, other nsfw things), but it always hits a plateau.

Apparently it's the candidness that gets him going. He needs to see a girl wearing this who has no idea he's into it. In discussion he suggested me learning to play with my shoes so that he could come across me doing it without my knowing to give him the same effect. I have and it worked well, but again it's plateaued and he's lost interest. He'll ask me to tell him stories about my socks and I have idea what he wants me to say? He doesn't want to ruin it for himself by explaining it either so I can't really figure it out. When he talks about his fetish he always uses girls. Its almost never "I want to see you in these socks" but "I want to see a girl in these socks." Maybe that's normal but it feels like I'm less of his partner in this and more a replaceable girl.

He's not shy about telling me he wants to see other girls wearing them either. I mean, it's normal to want to see what you find attractive on other people, but this has only really become a topic when he's become less and less satisfied with me. During cuddles or sometimes in casual conversation he'll go "I want to see other girls in these socks, but it never happens." If I express negative feelings about that he'll usually laugh it off like my feelings are cute and say something like "it's normal to feel this way about a fetish. You know I'd never leave you for it." But I'm starting not be so sure. He's even asked me for a threesome where another girl simply wears the socks around. One time I even stupidly made the mistake of suggesting that maybe my childhood best friend would be up for taking some pictures of herself in such socks and when I sobered up he was hooked on the idea and kept trying to get me to trick her(without her knowing it was a fetish or else again it ruins the fantasy) to take photos of herself in them. I turned it down and he was unhappy but he didn't fight me on it.

I've noticed when he sees a cute girl he'll glance at her feet first and then her face. Most people obviously don't think much of it but it doesn't sit right with me. Again I know he can't help this much as it's probably something he does without consciously deciding to, but is more evidence that he's looking for fap material in other girls! My roommate even brought up a story with me that she just thought was weird and funny about how he told her something was on her shoes and she pulled up her pantleg to look, but nothing was there. She doesn't know about his fetish and just thought it was a weird moment, but I knew she was wearing some of my socks because our laundry gets mixed up and that he was looking for a show. I asked him about it and he firmly denied it, which sat poorly with me. I have more examples but I don't want this to get too much longer.

It is important to note though that he's admitted from the start that he masturbates only to candid memories. Meaning that nothing I do with him is in his mind, simply memories of girls slipping off their shoes in high school or rare moments where a girl in public has such socks on. There was even one time where I was wearing them and his friends girlfriend was also wearing them and because she was new and unaware he was eying her up and horny as hell. We had a big talk about it and he told me he couldn't help it and that in the end I'm the one he comes back to.... I don't know, man.

I trust him to not cheat, but as he's wanting more and more and realizing that I can't provide it I'm beginning to worry if there's a timer on this relationship or not. Aside from this big issue there's nothing else wrong, we have great chemistry and I feel like it's worth some effort. I'm just not sure if I can plausibly do anything. I've talked with him about it and hes guilty but can't seem to help himself either. I asked him if he'd be able to date me if I didn't supply to his fetish and told me he didn't know... His fetish has been with him since as long as he's been able to get aroused and has been his main sense of attraction to women his entire life.

If it's worth mentioning he dated only one girl before me and she almost fully refused his fetish but he still stayed by her until she dumped him. He also was a virgin until we met, and had almost 0 contact with girls romantically or physically until he was 23.

Tl;dr: boyfriend has a very specific fetish and keeps needing more and more until one girl isn't enough. Not sure if I can save it or if i need to just move on.

quote:

Short no-show type socks that end right below the ankle. Gotta have a specific curve to the top, gotta be a certain tightness, needs smooth texture and a thin seam. Also on a size 8 or smaller foot?

quote:

To put this into context my girlfriend has converted to messianic jewish a few months ago. Since then we've had no sex and I just brought that fact up playfully in conversation and was told " well if it's that much of a problem go find you some. " and even suggested I look on Craigslist this was said without sarcasm or anger or anything.

I'm not sure how to take it because my girlfriend is the jealous type. for example I was role playing online( something we both have done) and was playing out a sexual encounter( which is how we met actually).My girlfriend got mad and asked that I not do that again. This was after the sex was stopped between us as well.

So I'd welcome any advice on how to deal with this. I should note I have no desire to actually go sleep with anyone else.

Tl;dr: girlfriend said go find a f**k and I'm not sure how to deal with it

loquacius posted:

Jew here, confirming that messianic Jews are weird as poo poo

those are the kind of Jews that love Jesus and think he was the Messiah and we are now living in the eternal kingdom of God or something, and they claim that they are distinct from Southern Baptists somehow (I do not know how)

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

this might get deraily but how the gently caress are they Jews and not Christians then

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

this might get deraily but how the gently caress are they Jews and not Christians then

ikanreed posted:

Still thinking you're God's chosen tribe.

Lockback posted:

Just Normal People on the Internet.



Edit:

She even described the socks in the comments. I thought she was just using a stand-in or they were fishnets or thigh-highs or something, but nope. Just super boring but specific socks.

loquacius posted:

special snowflake-ism

Messianic Judaism is what would be called a "heresy" in a more organized religion than Judaism, but Judaism is disorganized by definition. One of our holy books (the Talmud) is literally just a collection of writings where ancient academics argue about poo poo. So instead of stamping weird ideas out we let them do their thing and make fun of them in posts on something awful dot com.


for the record the ratio of "times I hear people on the Internet attributing this viewpoint to Jews" to "times I hear Jewish people expressing this viewpoint" is roughly 100 billion to zero

Strep Vote posted:

I asked a good Jewish friend in college about how it felt to be part of the chosen people and he was like, "holy poo poo, it loving sucks, why would anyone want this?" Messianic Jews are like Jews with a masochistic streak.

quote:

Me [23 M] with my GF [23 F] 5 years today, basically cheating via tinder. Should I do this crazy plan

So basically it was my birthday at the beginning of this month and she was over, things felt slightly off and a friend of mine had told me a while back that he saw her on tinder. I laughed it off because I couldn't believe she could do something like that. It is our 5 year anniversary today and because I was away with friends i went to see her before i left. We went to the cinema and my mum called her, I had no signal on my phone so she phoned my um back and gave me her phone. I went outside and had a conversation about dinner with my mum. Then we hung up and I had my Girlfriends phone unlocked. That's when i Saw tinder.

She had conversations going back to June and 78 matches. I felt horrible looking at this, I felt like i was in the wrong for invading her privacy and that i shouldn't be doing this. I then saw that she was arranging to meet guys the weekend before our 5 year anniversary. I lost my poo poo, literally, i spent ages on the toilet and planned a way to get her out the cinema without thinking she had been rumbled.

Before locking her phone I take a screenshot of a whatsapp conversation that only had one message from a guy clearly in reply to something (this later comes in handy) just so i have proof that i wasn't dreaming it up. I walk right up to her, notably shaken because of what i know but say "my mum is in hospital, we need to go." i basically run to her car acting like its real -I'm a good actor- we both get in the car and the show is off. I'm straight faced and I as her if she has anything to tell me. She says no. What basically happens from here is her denying poo poo and then me proving it actually happened. By the end of the conversation the following is established: she has had tinder since june when we fell out over a trivial issue; she kept it ever since as it made her feel "wanted"; she met up with one guy for coffee and that was it.

Naturally, I love her and I wanted to believe her, but something in me screamed that she was lying. She said she wasn't sure if we should break up or not and me being the idiot that I m want to stay with her. Reading this i would be screaming "idiot" too, but I love her, we have been together for 5 years, we have lived together for 4, but currently long distance because of work commitments. I loved her from the first week of our relationship, I will always lover her.

Anyway, this is where i get a little bit on the invasion of privacy horrible thing to do end of the spectrum. We all know what is coming. We have the same itunes account, she doesn't really understand how it works and i used find my iphone to find out she was lying about her whereabouts and used my ipad to receive imessages she receives.

I called her out on the bullshit but holding specific things back so she doesn't really know how i know and she denied everything. she sent a text message to her friend saying "the Swiss guy is asking if he'll have to wait until the weekend to see me again..." it goes on... Anyway this is where my screenshot comes in handy, the whatsapp conversation was from a foreign number. You guessed it, a swiss number!

So i have this guys number and she is denying everything do i call this guy up and ask what is really happening between them? I have the feeling there are other guys too but i think if i get this one guy she will open up about the rest? I don't really know. I'm mentally and physically destroyed by this and feel like i'm losing my mind. I feel i should say i wouldn't cause anyone any physical damage. I just want answers.

Thanks

tl;dr

GF is cheating and denying she is, got the guys number should i phone him and ask what is really happening?

P-Mack posted:

what's with these guys who need a notarized letter in triplicate saying "yes I'm banging your girlfriend"

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

this might get deraily but how the gently caress are they Jews and not Christians then

P-Mack posted:

what's with these guys who need a notarized letter in triplicate saying "yes I'm banging your girlfriend"

feedmegin posted:

If it's this guy's organisation - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moishe_Rosen - they are Christians. It's kind of a Baptist bait and switch to get Jewish people to convert.

Tender Bender posted:

The ankle sock guy sounds like he made it up when he first met her on a dare but then they hit it off and he was too scared to admit the truth so he doubled down and now this is his life.

Nooner posted:

loquacius posted:

He knows exactly what's going on, she's just good at "winning" conversations with him and he feels like he needs 100% proof positive to make her stop blanket denying everything.

WampaLord posted:

Allow me to play the part of "out of touch old man" here for a moment, but I think we've moved too far towards "No kinkshaming" where now all kinks must be not only accepted, but catered to constantly.

A kink is supposed to just be a thing you do that enhances sex, it shouldn't be a required part of sex and more importantly, it shouldn't affect your non-sex life at all. The Dan Savage attitude of GGG seems to make people want to cater to their partner's kinks all the time or beyond a reasonable level, without getting anything in return.