/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

My [27F] husband [28M] of 2 years (together 5) has recently started to use the n-word for fun and keeps doing it despite my requests to stop.

quote:

This is corny as poo poo and I wish this wasn't happening in my life. You know that NWA movie that came out a while ago? My husband didn't even know what NWA was but hopped on the bandwagon quick and saw it in September. I didn't go because I have no interest in the movie. My husband sees the movie, comes back home, and acts like he's the hardest mofo in the town. In the following weeks, he starts listening to a ton of gangsta rap. I have no problem with this, I actually find it kind of cute, but my problem lies in his use of the n-word in everyday speech.

Since October, my husband has adopted the n-word into his daily vocabulary and says it constantly. Here are a few examples with their contexts.

Asking me when dinner will be ready- "When's the food gonna be ready, n***a?"

Complaining about his coworker- "I loving hate that n***a Dave, man."

Greeting me when he comes home from work- "What's good, my n***a?"

Although this isn't exactly relevant, my husband and I are both pasty Irish-Italian. We are super white and it only serves to amplify the cringe induced when my husband speaks like this. I've told him several times that's corny and cringey to hear him speak like that, and more importantly, it's racially insensitive. I tell him I'd appreciate it if he stops saying it and go back to normal, and he tells me it's no big deal. I tell him he's insulting an entire people and their history through his continued usage and he dismisses what I say as "tumblr bullshit" and that "no one is getting hurt by me saying the n-word".

He doesn't seem to understand that I'M getting hurt by it. I don't like hearing it in my household, and it makes me uncomfortable that my husband, the love of my life, can be so immature about this. I've told him several times that I don't like it and want him to stop, but he just doesn't care. I've asked some of my close friends about this and they too are baffled and appalled by my husband's behavior. They advised me to tell him very seriously how much it bothers me and I followed through it. Lo and behold, my husband once again did not give a poo poo. He said verbatim "It's not hurting anyone. Stop getting offended so easily, n***a".

I'm at my wit's end. Obviously this isn't a divorce-worthy issue. Yet there seems to be no solution to this problem. I've told him countless times to stop and he just doesn't care. I'm glad we don't have kids in the house to hear the n-word but drat it I don't want to hear it either. One of my friends suggested withholding sex until he stops but such a strategy seems really gross and I'm not so big on weaponizing sex. I'm completely at a loss as to how to get through to my husband. I don't want to live the rest of my life and raise children while my husband speaks in such a way. But holy poo poo, I can't think of anything to fix it.

tl;dr: Husband thinks he's a real g. Keeps using the n-word and doesn't stop despite my requests.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 02:17

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# ? May 14, 2024 14:29

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

quote:

he dismisses what I say as "tumblr bullshit" and that "no one is getting hurt by me saying the n-word"

There is always a certain stripe of white boy...

# ? Oct 22, 2016 02:20

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

mind the walrus posted:

There is always a certain stripe of white boy...

*kickflips walrus*

# ? Oct 22, 2016 02:21

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Regulation Size posted:

My [27F] husband [28M] of 2 years (together 5) has recently started to use the n-word for fun and keeps doing it despite my requests to stop.

Which goon is this?

# ? Oct 22, 2016 02:29

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

She needs to make friends with some black men and introduce her husband to them. That would cure him, for multiple reasons.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 02:33

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

Glenn Quebec posted:

I want to believe. Is this a real thing?

Sadly I can't find evidence of the homemade jeans, but the Denim Megathread OP does include gems like this:

internet celebrity posted:

Raw Denim FAQ:

How long do I wait before washing?
Everyone has a different answer. The general consensus is between 6 months to a year. Personally I think that's kinda gross and usually wash my jeans every couple months.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 03:07

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Tender Bender posted:

Sadly I can't find evidence of the homemade jeans, but the Denim Megathread OP does include gems like this:

Everyone has a different answer. The general consensus is between 6 months to a year. Personally I think that's kinda gross and usually wash my jeans every couple months.

the luls are coming from inside somethingawful :eyepop:

# ? Oct 22, 2016 03:10

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

This jeans thing ended up being less funny and just more gross than I expected.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 03:18

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

remigious posted:

Same. Also, if someone in a relationship is jerkin it to porn a lot that is usually a good indicator that there is a larger problem.

so uh did you buy your own avatar or

Regulation Size posted:

My [27F] husband [28M] of 2 years (together 5) has recently started to use the n-word for fun and keeps doing it despite my requests to stop.

The only thing I can think of when I read about someone suddenly starting to do this at 28 instead of 13 is "the loving alt-right"

# ? Oct 22, 2016 03:44

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

Glenn Quebec posted:

This jeans thing ended up being less funny and just more gross than I expected.

Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] 3.5 yrs, his lack of hygeine/laziness is turning me off! (Semi Nsfw)

quote:

English not my first language, sorry for that! Also on mobile, so sorry for the typos.

I am a pretty clean person, so anything short of basic cleaniness is a major turn off for me. When I first dated mu bf, we were young so we did not makeout/have sex etc, so I may not have noticed the lack of hygeine. Recently, Im noticing that my bf wears the same outfit for weeks on end (we live separately so I cant confirm, but this is what it seems to be), and doesnt change his boxers for days. He claims that it's normal and that many guys do it, but I personally find it gross. I tried to tell him that, but he just argues that its normal and since i do not have definite proof of male underwear habits(only child, dad overseas, no prev relationship, religious male friends so may not be best to bring up), Idk what to say. Ive also been noticing some nasty gunk coated on his teeth-yellowy and nasty-not makeout material at all. That completed with BO was enough for me to pass on sex...so I wasnt very enthousiastic. Then after a while I try to tell him to brush floss and shower everyday and he tells me he does...but the evidence is still in his mouth! Bf recently discovered reddit, and often sends me links from r/deadbedroom and subtly tells me that he's sacrificing his natural libido bc of me... But it's super hard to get turned on when i can smell his smelly junk the moment his jeans are off...not to mention everything just stinks for his junk afterwards (both virgins when we met , std tested). He is uncircumsized btw. He also doesnt shower for days and if he often just washes his hair so it looks like he cleaned, and believes foreplay lasts about 5 seconds consisting of ripping off my clothes at once and poking a boob or two, and refuses to try lube or toys since to him theyre wastes of money. Please help!

tl;dr: My nose is dying, as is my sex life

EDIT: haha the bbcode for that highlight was UI, which is what this girl's gonna get

im cute fucked around with this message at 05:39 on Oct 22, 2016

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:37

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

My[24F] husband [24 M] of one year grosses me out.

quote:

Together a little over 4 years. When we first started dating my husband was a total neat freak and I was totally NOT. Admittedly, he has trained me well. I clean up after myself and I put things back where they go, but now he is the messy one. Not only messy, but just plain dirty. He doesn't wash his hands after going 1 OR 2. It's disgusting. I have tried just about every tactic there is to get him to wash his hands. I've tried asking politely to straight up "you should be ashamed of yourself because you don't care that you could make me sick with your poo hands". Other times he'll ask for a kiss with super chapped lips or his breath just stinks so it makes me not want to kiss him.

Tonight was my breaking point. We are ENTs so we prefer jazz cabbage over alcohol to unwind. To preface, my husband HATES vegetables. I didn't realize just how much he hated them until tonight when he threw up pizza because it had a small piece of basil on it. Later after that I go to use the restroom and his barf is still in the toilet. Granted, we smoked earlier so being forgetful is slightly forgivable, but barf... So I asked him to please clean it up. He comes back to the couch and I go to wash my face and the toilet is still gross. I ask if he's cleaned it:
Him: Yes
Me: With what?
Him: I peed on it.
Me: ....

I'm so grossed out reddit. Am I being over sensitive??

tl;dr: My husband's hygiene levels are at an all time low. I feel like I'm living with my "bro in college"

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:38

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I didn't think anything could make weed uncool, but calling it jazz cabbage just did it

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:39

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

I'm confused: do they prefer "jazz cabbage" over alcohol because they are Ear-Nose-Throat doctors, or...?

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:43

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

when i read ent i think jrr tolkien tree monster... what am i missing here?

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:44

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

DOMDOM posted:

when i read ent i think jrr tolkien tree monster... what am i missing here?

No, this checks out. Ents would never harm another plant, but might piss in the toilet puke in order to satisfy their NAGGIN' rear end WIFE

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:46

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

DOMDOM posted:

when i read ent i think jrr tolkien tree monster... what am i missing here?

Apparently that's what it means. Urban dictionary says 'ent' is slang for 'pot smoker' stemming from the race of tree-men in Tolkein's books.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:49

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Apparently some pot-culture people refer to marijuana as "trees" because... I don't know super secret treefort special code words or something, therefore Ents because they're tree people.

These are also the kind of people who would passive aggressively fight over flushing the toilet, so really nothing's off the table.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:51

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

DOMDOM posted:

My[24F] husband [24 M] of one year grosses me out.

This is totally fake, but unwashed poop hands is loving gross and all of you goons need to wash your drat hands. Pink eye isn't cool.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 05:53

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Danaru posted:

Apparently some pot-culture people refer to marijuana as "trees" because... I don't know super secret treefort special code words or something, therefore Ents because they're tree people.

These are also the kind of people who would passive aggressively fight over flushing the toilet, so really nothing's off the table.

It took me way too long to realize jazz cabbage meant pot. Why the hell don't people just say they like pot? It always sounds so dumb when someone's like "Oh yeah man I like some of that wink-wink, nudge-nudge random words euphemism" bullshit.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 06:04

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I think it's less wink-wink-nudge-nudge and more that redditors like lame cutesy poo poo like that

# ? Oct 22, 2016 06:07

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Regulation Size posted:

I'm confused: do they prefer "jazz cabbage" over alcohol because they are Ear-Nose-Throat doctors, or...?

Are you all being intentionally obtuse? ENT is like INTJ, they just left out the J/P at the end.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 06:58

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

i prefer to believe the ent equals tree people equals potheads theory

# ? Oct 22, 2016 07:04

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

sexy time.piled high.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 07:09

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Personally I am fond of the term "Wacky tobaccy"

# ? Oct 22, 2016 07:12

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

Khorne posted:

Are you all being intentionally obtuse? ENT is like INTJ, they just left out the J/P at the end.

No, it really is a dumb code word for pot smokers.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 07:44

Khorne: May 1, 2002

cyberia posted:

No, it really is a dumb code word for pot smokers.

I find it hard to believe because they said jazz cabbage. If it were being used as a codeword for pot smokers that's extremely redundant. Also, it's in all caps.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 08:04

Cless Alvein: May 25, 2007; Bloopity Bloo

I have never heard Jazz Cabbage before. I've personally used Devil's Lettuce when joking around with my sister, but that was storming in with mock angry tone accusations.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 09:06

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

I have a friend who is super unhygienic (although physically clean enough to not smell at least). I witnessed another friend of mine who lived with him giving him a lecture on food hygiene, with him shrugging it off. A couple months later his gf got a really bad case of salmonella poisoning and ended up needing colosectomy.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 09:21

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Are they still together?

# ? Oct 22, 2016 09:25

Adam Vegas: Apr 14, 2013

Did no one come to the conclusion that she meant EMT, not 'ent'?

A lot of first responders and EMTs use weed rather than alcohol as it's a good way to unwind/deal with PTSD and not have to go into work hungover as a consequence of relaxing.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 11:29

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Adam Vegas posted:

Did no one come to the conclusion that she meant EMT, not 'ent'?

A lot of first responders and EMTs use weed rather than alcohol as it's a good way to unwind/deal with PTSD and not have to go into work hungover as a consequence of relaxing.

No, they meant ent. R/trees, the weed subreddit, calls its users ents.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 11:48

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Anderson Cooper doesn't wash his jeans. :colbert:

Also ENT means they're stupid goddamn nerds who took a personality test and now base their whole life around the results.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 12:04

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Regulation Size posted:

But it's super hard to get turned on when i can smell his smelly junk the moment his jeans are off...not to mention everything just stinks for his junk afterwards (both virgins when we met , std tested). He is uncircumsized btw. He also doesnt shower for days and if he often just washes his hair so it looks like he cleaned

An uncircumsized guy that doesn't wash regularly... I can smell the dick cheese from here.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 12:10

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

It means they prefer Scott Bakula, actually .

# ? Oct 22, 2016 12:27

Mameluke: Aug 2, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

cyberia posted:

Apparently that's what it means. Urban dictionary says 'ent' is slang for 'pot smoker' stemming from the race of tree-men in Tolkein's books.

Much like the ent in that OP, he would rather have his wife abandon him entirely than confront the fact that others have a different relationship with weed than he does

# ? Oct 22, 2016 13:44

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

good job guys, you somehow made yourselves look nerdier and more clueless than the woman who called weed jazz cabbage

# ? Oct 22, 2016 13:44

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

I had to read everything afterwards to understand jazz cabbage. My brain couldn't process that it was somehow weed.

Also denim rot crotch is loving disgusting. I can't imagine being with a women who peels off her jeans then has a funky smelling pussy. I don't know how she deals with it.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 14:26

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I seriously can't believe this many people are putting forward so many unique and utterly wrong interpretations of "ent"

WampaLord is right, it's a Reddit thing meaning "pothead" because the weed subreddit is called r/trees, that's all. Dunno why it's in all caps but saying it's based on meyers-briggs or a typo of EMT or whatever is a huge stretch. Occam's razor says the post on Reddit about weed is using the redditor slang for pothead.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 14:31

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

No one's ever heard of joints being referred to as "jazz cigarettes?" Because with that context, "jazz cabbage" was easy to grasp.

loquacius posted:

WampaLord is right, it's a Reddit thing meaning "pothead" because the weed subreddit is called r/trees, that's all.

Funny enough, r/marijuanaenthusiasts is about appreciate of trees.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 14:33

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# ? May 14, 2024 14:29

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

As a lifelong pothead, no, I have never called weed jazz anything. Trees was the popular term back in high school, but haven't really heard that recently. I think I'm just too old.

The confusing part about ENTS is why is it capitalized, but really who gives a poo poo. That dude is nasty and that girl is an idiot for putting up with it. hurr durr basil makes me vomit. ugggghhh

# ? Oct 22, 2016 14:37

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