/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

ishikabibble posted:

China Chinese presumably meaning chinese immigrants rather than native-born but ethnically chinese person.

So Chinese as opposed to American or English or wherever that guy posted from. Got it my dude

# ? Oct 23, 2016 06:43

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# ? May 9, 2024 06:56

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The Taiwan thing is plausible to me but I'm willing to bet it's like claiming there's a big difference between Canadians and Americans

# ? Oct 23, 2016 06:44

Rap Music and Dope: Dec 25, 2010; For some reason Euros really suck to

Larry Parrish posted:

The Taiwan thing is plausible to me but I'm willing to bet it's like claiming there's a big difference between Canadians and Americans

Lmao you couldn't be more wrong.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 07:40

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Yeah I don't know poo poo about the complexities of the region and even I know Taiwan is a crazy sore spot in Chinese politics on all levels.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 07:46

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Moon Atari posted:

Jazz cabbage is an improvisational form of cabbage originally made by black cabbage artists but now enjoyed almost exclusively by pretentious nerds.

You can tell when stoners hit that jazz cabbage, they start playing the piano maniacally and waving their hands around

Xaris posted:

modern adaption of the typhoid mary story

HIV Harriet on the prowl

# ? Oct 23, 2016 08:25

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

E: no idea how I double-posted

# ? Oct 23, 2016 08:25

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

Me [29F] with my bf [29M] of 2 and a half years, had a disagreement during dinner and he physically assaulted me. Now I'm scared and in pain and I don't know what to do

quote:

(Sorry this might be one whole text as I'm on mobile)

Firstly I just wanted to say that I'm not entirely blameless because I know I overreact to things but getting hit by a man for the first time in my life was a huge shock for me as I have never been treated with such in past relationships.

Also I don't know if telling you about my history will do anything but since I was 7, I had been emotionally and mentally abused everyday by a immediate family member. At the age of 13, I was diagnosed with servere depression because of it. I was suicidal from age 13-21. I lived with this abuse from age 7 - age 28 which was about the time I finally moved out of my family home. This abuse have changed and made me into someone that distrust quickly and have severe and quickly changing mood swings.

The bf was bought up alone by his mentally crazy mother and he have his own issues.

About a month and a half ago, we've been going to couple counselling to work on our relationship.

A few hours ago my bf came home from a half-day at work (he's a chef) and he made us dinner an hour later. (Because he wanted to)

Everything was fine between us when he got home.

He refused to let me be around the kitchen while he was cooking, saying "I'm annoying when I'm around him while he was cooking." I only went to the kitchen to put the now dried dishes on the dishing rack so he will have more room to work with and then I went back out.

When he was nearly done cooking, he asked me to set up the table, which I did and then we sat down together to eat.

He was tucking into his steak and made a comment like "mmm! This is so good. It's way better than going out and paying so-and-so amount of money going out to eat when you can do it at home. Look, it's still pink" or something along those line.

I haven't started eating mine yet so I cut off a piece and teasingly pointed out that mine wasn't pink, it was cooked. (I cut off a piece from the edge, so of course it'll be cooked)

He then pointed out that it's because I didn't cut from the middle and then started to cut my steak in the middle for me and I started protesting (because I hate it when other people touches my food and he knows this) saying "stop, yes I know. I was just joking"

He continued cutting and I was telling him I know so stop cutting my food. And I was getting slightly agitated and annoyed at this point. So I started to cut up my food roughly and shoving them roughly in my mouth so show my annoyance.

He told me to stop doing that and to stop being such a bitch and I told him I told him to stop cutting because I know and I was just joking and he didn't stop. And this was my plate of food and I can eat it whichever way I wanted.

I then continued eating and he watched me for a few seconds and then started screaming at me and then he was off his chair and came around to me and suddenly roughly grabbed my head in his hands screaming things in my face and squeezing my head hard between his hands. I try to break free from his hands by trying to claw my hands on his head and face and he suddenly let go. It all happened so fast. He went and sat down for a second, started calling me a loving bitch etc etc and so I said that he was a loving motherfucker and then he jumped off his chair and slapped me hard across the left side of my face and ear.

By this time I was crying like crazy and ran into my room and collapsed on the ground bawling my eyes out.

He came in 15 mins or so later (not to apologise) saying "get up, get up" and I was shaking my head and crying and trying to make myself into a ball and refused. He left and came back and set my plate of food next to me and left again.

Probably 45 mins later he came back in again telling me to get up and sit down. There was no apology to doing what he did and he justified his actions because I had shoved him before in the past. So I said that what he was saying was that he thinks it's ok for him to have done what he did just because I shoved him or hit him in the chest in the past. Like an eye for an eye.

After a while I got up and he took me to the lounge and sat me down on the couch saying "so, can you tell me what just happened?"

Him asking me bought back the way he had slapped me without even feeling sorry for his actions made me start crying again and shutting myself down.

We sat there apart for an hour or so and from the way he act, he didn't seem like he have a care in the world. After an hour of silence he got up saying "What to you want to do Cazzaroll? I can't do this anymore. This can't go on like this etc" something along those lines and walked off to his room.

It was like it was my fault that made his hands grip my head and it was me that made his hand slap my face and ear. I am not saying I am entirely not at fault. Yes, in some way, I did probably contributed to raising his temper but in no circumstances was it ok for him to hit me and hurt me in that way. (After all his bragging about how he would never hit a woman and all)

I know there are some work about myself I also need to work on and I know he does too. But he doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with himself as far as he's concern.

Tldr: Bf made us dinner, dinner turned into bf physically assaulting me. Then he made it seem like it was all my fault and I was the one who started it.

Yikes

# ? Oct 23, 2016 12:44

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

People, please stop posting stories that are just straight up sad/abusive.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 12:50

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Can we please stick to funny content?

# ? Oct 23, 2016 12:50

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

My [27F] boyfriend [24M] of 2.5 years refuses to grow up, even though I'm currently pregnant with his child.

quote:

For a bit of background, both me and my boyfriend still live at home with our parents. I still live as home as I have quite severe social phobia, I don't have a job and therefore can't afford to move out. I'm aware that I have issues and will work on them as much as I can so I can be a good mother to my child. My parents and I get along most of the time.

My boyfriend is outgoing, social and has a job. However he still lives at home because he's admitted he isn't ready to grow up yet. He has what I view as a pretty odd relationship with his (strongly Christian) parents. He never argues with them, even when they're doing or saying something out of line. He just takes it because "you only get one mother and father". I can appreciate that respect but he just takes it too far and it's like he's a child afraid to stand up to them.

He has a savings account with a lot of money in it, but his mother prevents access to it, despite him being a 24 year old man. He doesn't know how to pay bills, how to operate a washing machine, how to even open another bank account.. he lets his mum do it all for him. He's very clingy towards his mother and defends her when she's being horrible. She hates me and wants him to break up with me because I'm quiet and don't have a job, despite the fact I love him and have never done anything to hurt him. He lets it happen and doesn't speak back to her because he 'can't change her opinion'.

Last week they went to Germany for a few days and my boyfriend was left home alone, so we had a pizza night with 4 of his friends, who are also Christian and 'well behaved'. His mum phoned him during this and he had to lie and pretend he was alone because they wouldn't approve of him having anyone over, despite the fact he's a 24 year man and his friends are harmless. No alcohol was involved and we just played a few games like hangman and stuff. I found it depressing that his mother wouldn't let that happen if she had known.

Obviously now that I'm expecting a baby, I want him to grow up a little more, talk to his parents like an adult and not a scared child, and maybe we could have our own place together.

He says he doesn't want that because he's not ready to grow up yet and he's happy how he is, and if I try to change him I should just go and find someone else.

This is coming from a guy who works with children once or twice a week at church, thinks babies are adorable, and is always saying how a child needs its father and it's not fair when they're left alone with just a mother.

I probably haven't worded all of this as accurately as I could have, and it's hard to cover everything is a few paragraphs... but I really don't know what to do right now.

I fear being left raising the baby while he stays with his mummy and daddy and only sees his child when it suits him, and feels hard done by when I need money to get stuff for the baby because he feels that's taking money away from his "promising future". (resubmitted, I hope that's ok)

tl;dr : Boyfriend is pretty immature but I really need him to grow up for the sake of our coming baby. He doesn't feel it's necessary because he's happy and resents me for suggesting it.

Yikes

# ? Oct 23, 2016 12:53

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

lazorexplosion posted:

My [27F] boyfriend [24M] of 2.5 years refuses to grow up, even though I'm currently pregnant with his child.

Yikes

What is she talking about? A 24 y/o manchild that's still living with his parents and that doesn't have enough of a mind of his own to ever question them will make a great father.

Also the fact that he'll be telling his kid about how they'll burn in hell if they misbehave will only do his kid good.

Jack Trades fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Oct 23, 2016

# ? Oct 23, 2016 12:57

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

The pregnant 27 year old in this scenario also lives with their parents and has no job. :negative:

# ? Oct 23, 2016 13:01

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

The dude has a job, a large amount of money in savings, friends, and volunteers with kids in his church community. As weird as his situation is I think he is more of a catch than the pregnant 27 year old who is unemployed because of social anxiety.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 13:33

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

poopnanners posted:

That was this thread...

Goddammit. Just ignore me.

This is why I shouldn't internet when I'm half asleep. Sorry yall.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 13:34

Worldshatter: May 7, 2015; PEPSI for TV-GAME

Moon Atari posted:

The dude has a job, a large amount of money in savings, friends, and volunteers with kids in his church community. As weird as his situation is I think he is more of a catch than the pregnant 27 year old who is unemployed because of social anxiety.

Yeah, he needs to grow up but she needs to get a job (at least after the pregnancy and poo poo)

# ? Oct 23, 2016 13:36

Worldshatter: May 7, 2015; PEPSI for TV-GAME

Also if they're hyper Christian it's a little weird that he did the sex before marriage bit but can't do the stand up to mommy bit

# ? Oct 23, 2016 13:37

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Moon Atari posted:

The dude has a job, a large amount of money in savings, friends, and volunteers with kids in his church community. As weird as his situation is I think he is more of a catch than the pregnant 27 year old who is unemployed because of social anxiety.

I can't believe I'm saying this but it sounds like his parents will hopefully do a majority of the child rearing. I just got a cold chill.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 13:48

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

DOMDOM posted:

My [27M] Fianc� [27F] (newly engaged) gave me a "list" of requirements I need to follow in our relationship.

Redpill plant/troll or real?

This is someone's fetish

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I can't believe I'm saying this but it sounds like his parents will hopefully do a majority of the child rearing. I just got a cold chill.

Hope not, they're the ones who made him like that

# ? Oct 23, 2016 15:43

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

You can just feel the years of built up bullshit between the chef and the abused woman.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 15:50

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Genesplicer, you old dog, you.

Lol. That was my first thought.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:00

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

DOMDOM posted:

My [27M] Fianc� [27F] (newly engaged) gave me a "list" of requirements I need to follow in our relationship.

Redpill plant/troll or real?

Yeaaah, kinda reads like fiction. It's too well-written and the author also removed the post and haven't replied to a single comment.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:08

military cervix: Dec 24, 2006; Hey guys

quote:

My wife [22/F] and I [23/M] got married 5 months ago but she still isn't ready to consummate our union yet.

I just want to be clear that we have both talked about it already and she knows I am posting this here so please treat any response as such.
5 months ago I married the most beautiful woman in the world. We have known each other for several years and definitely did not rush into this. We are both still virgins having both been brought up in religious families and taken purity vows during our youth. That's not to say we both didn't push some boundaries during our younger days but we did manage to survive until our wedding day with our pledges intact.

Leading up to the wedding we had the "sex talk" with our pastor who commended us for remaining virgins and how we should embrace God's gift of sexual intimacy on our wedding night without fear or doubt. We both agreed we truly felt ready for that step together and indeed, looked forward to it as a highlight of our first night together as husband and wife.
The wedding was perfect - everything went exactly as planned and there was no doubt as we said our vows that we were meant to be together. And that still hasn't changed one iota. But when it finally came time to retreat to the hotel suite together things started to fall apart. We didn't want to rush into it, spending the first hour removing pins from her hair and talking. Then we finally undressed and shared our first shower together and beginning to explore each other's bodies. We both were getting extremely aroused together and after the shower decided to pause and share a prayer together before we took things any further. It was during this she started to feel uncertain, and while we continued to explore each other in bed for a few more minutes she suddenly held both her hands up and looked at me with her flushed face and told me she couldn't do it yet.

We immediately cooled things off at that point, we didn't want to make the situation any more awkward and after sharing another prayer she tole me she didn't feel ready yet, part of her still felt it was "sinful" and she couldn't go through with it against this feeling yet. She had felt sure the feeling would have gone away after the wedding ceremony but it was still there and needed to know if this was God telling her not to or not. We left it for several nights and tried a second time, but again she felt compelled to stop before we fully consummated the marriage together because of the same feelings. She knows I am ready, but also knows I don't want her to force herself for my sake and I am prepared to give her the time she needs. But it has now been 5 months and she is still not ready yet to move forward. She has spoken with a senior (female) member of the congregation several times about her reluctance and their advice was to wait, give it time and continue to pray. Which we have. But we simply aren't prepared to take the step until she is 100% ready and comfortable with this.

We have posted this on Reddit because it allows us to remain anonymous and we are open to advice from people who don't necessarily come from a strong Christian background. Has anyone heard of a similar reluctance to engage in sexual intercourse for any other reason, even if it isn't of a religious source? Hopefully someone can help us in looking at ways we can overcome this. It is something we both want but it has to be shared, mutual and beautiful and without the feeling that it is still somehow "sinful" for her to do.
Please, if you can we are listening to you.

tl;dr: We are a young Christian couple who got married recent but my wife does not feel ready to engage in full sexual intercourse yet because attempting to do so still feels sinful to her.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:19

kaschei: Oct 25, 2005

God has bestowed either a huge or tiny dick on that man and his wife is either intimidated or regretting not inspecting the package before signing.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:31

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

She's a lesbian and was hoping marriage would fix it.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:34

FabioClone: Oct 3, 2004; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

quote:

We both were getting extremely aroused together and after the shower decided to pause and share a prayer together before we took things any further.

I think I found the problem.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:36

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

What a great relationship they have. It's absolutely not depressing as gently caress and it definitely doesn't make me want to barf.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:37

nigga crab pollock: Mar 26, 2010; by Lowtax

if your concept of sex revolves around an invisble man watching you bone rather than, idk, your partner or enjoying yourself it is a pretty good sign you should stay well the gently caress away

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:37

gentle pete: Feb 21, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo

quote:

My [25F] now ex-boyfriend [29M] sent me pictures of about 30 girls he wants to have sex with after I caught him cheating.

My now ex boyfriend and I were arguing because I caught him cheating on me and during this argument he sent me pictures of about 30 girls he wanted to have sex with in a row - not famous people either, girls he actually* knows. I told him I had asked him to be honest with me if he ever cheated (sometimes things happen, I get that). His response was "Honesty? Here's honesty. I want to gently caress these girls too:" And just went on a rampage sending the pictures saying the things he liked about them.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:38

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

Talk about salting the loving earth

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:43

Lysistrata: Sep 12, 2003; Anyone who truly believes he has friends is a fool.

military cervix posted:

My wife [22/F] and I [23/M] got married 5 months ago but she still isn't ready to consummate our union yet.

Apparently this can be a problem with people whose upbringings have been steeped in religious beliefs that restrict sexuality. I remember reading an Ask/Tell thread (I think by Fascinator?) about some sort of Jewish fundamentalist community that was riddled with this problem when it came to young men consummating their marriages. They couldn't bring themselves to do it because they'd been told all their lives that it was wrong and they couldn't overcome the inhibition.

It's really sad that these people are made to be so frightened of something that should be so enjoyable and intimate. Sex should be a good thing, not something buried in stories about sin and shame.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:54

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Lysistrata posted:

Apparently this can be a problem with people whose upbringings have been steeped in religious beliefs that restrict sexuality. I remember reading an Ask/Tell thread (I think by Fascinator?) about some sort of Jewish fundamentalist community that was riddled with this problem when it came to young men consummating their marriages. They couldn't bring themselves to do it because they'd been told all their lives that it was wrong and they couldn't overcome the inhibition.

It's really sad that these people are made to be so frightened of something that should be so enjoyable and intimate. Sex should be a good thing, not something buried in stories about sin and shame.

It is sad, they build this dumb thing up in their heads whereas it's a thing most of us do after Netflix and a few drinks.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:59

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Lysistrata posted:

Apparently this can be a problem with people whose upbringings have been steeped in religious beliefs that restrict sexuality. I remember reading an Ask/Tell thread (I think by Fascinator?) about some sort of Jewish fundamentalist community that was riddled with this problem when it came to young men consummating their marriages. They couldn't bring themselves to do it because they'd been told all their lives that it was wrong and they couldn't overcome the inhibition.

It's really sad that these people are made to be so frightened of something that should be so enjoyable and intimate. Sex should be a good thing, not something buried in stories about sin and shame.

There's also the fact that a lot of these people just don't know how to do it, beyond "insert tab A into slot B."

# ? Oct 23, 2016 17:05

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

But how does that explain the fact that many religious young people get married very young specifically so they can get down to loving?

# ? Oct 23, 2016 17:34

Lysistrata: Sep 12, 2003; Anyone who truly believes he has friends is a fool.

As far as I understand, this is something that usually happens in the really fundamentalist sects that would be called cults if they weren't technically a part of a legit religion. Not saying that's the issue with this girl, just saying that this sort of inhibition does happen under certain circumstances.

This girl sounds like she was raised in a very religious home, and for someone sensitive who doesn't know how to think critically about their beliefs, I can totally see this sort of thing happening even if it's not a fundamentalist environment. Then again, I'm just going off poo poo I read on the net sooo

# ? Oct 23, 2016 17:58

Gadzuko: Feb 14, 2005

Panfilo posted:

But how does that explain the fact that many religious young people get married very young specifically so they can get down to loving?

Those children were raised hearing "no sex until you're married" as opposed to "sex is bad and wrong" like that poor girl apparently got.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 17:58

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Gadzuko posted:

Those children were raised hearing "no sex until you're married" as opposed to "sex is bad and wrong" like that poor girl apparently got.

She might have even gotten something like "when you get married your husband is unfortunately going to want to corrupt your purity by having sex with you, which sucks but that's just what is gonna happen and you need to do it if you want kids anyway so just lie back and think of England"

# ? Oct 23, 2016 18:03

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Probably was taught to believe that it's incredibly painful too.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 18:08

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

As it turns out when you condition people to subconsciously reject the concept of sex during their sexual development, it is kind of difficult to remove that mental block after an arbitrary milestone has been met

This is a problem with lots of people who had their brains broken by fundies but the ones who avoid it go on to have a ton of loving kids so their garbage lifestyle prospers

# ? Oct 23, 2016 18:16

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Probably was taught to believe that it's incredibly painful too.

There is an actual medical condition that just so happens to make sex incredibly painful for the woman, and several of the causes for it are psychological, including fear of sex in general, poor sex education (which I guarantee describes the prayer people up there), and childhood conditioning

https://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-causes/

quote:

Fears

Fear or anticipation of intercourse pain, fear of not being completely physically healed following pelvic trauma, fear of tissue damage (i.e. “being torn”), fear of getting pregnant, concern that a pelvic medical problem may reoccur, etc.

Childhood experiences:

Overly rigid parenting, unbalanced religious teaching (i.e.”Sex is BAD”), exposure to shocking sexual imagery, inadequate sex education

so unless that poor girl gets actual therapy instead of just praying to the baby Jesus every time she gets upset she'll probably never be able to enjoy sex

# ? Oct 23, 2016 18:23

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# ? May 9, 2024 06:56

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

Fullhouse posted:

There is an actual medical condition that just so happens to make sex incredibly painful for the woman, and several of the causes for it are psychological, including fear of sex in general, poor sex education (which I guarantee describes the prayer people up there), and childhood conditioning

https://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-causes/

so unless that poor girl gets actual therapy instead of just praying to the baby Jesus every time she gets upset she'll probably never be able to enjoy sex

I had this when I was trying to be straight and it's like your vagina just clamps shut vicelike. it's severely unpleasant but I don't think she even got to the penetration part but I wouldn't doubt her having it

I feel real bad for her

what were the comments like

# ? Oct 23, 2016 19:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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