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Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


It got to a point where soju would give me a splitting headache within a minute or two of drinking any. gently caress it anyway makgeolli is the alcohol of the Han Gods.

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Let us English
Feb 21, 2004

Actual photo of Let Us English, probably seen here waking his wife up in the morning talking about chemical formulae when all she wants is a hot cup of shhhhh

Smoremaster posted:

I live in the US, in a city with a lot of Chinese immigrants. I live in an apartment of 8 units, and over the past few years most of my neighbors have been Chinese. I never really noticed them doing anything strange until these new people moved in over the summer. They don't speak English and every time I try to say hi, or wave or smile or any kind of communication, they just stare at me. The one guy just stands in the parking lot smoking all day and stares at me and my kids in the creepiest way, and he has no sense of personal space, he'll stand like 2 feet away just staring. Anyway, over the summer these new people kept leaving raw meat outside. On the parking curb, hanging from the chain link fence, or sitting beside a dumpster in the parking lot. But by the end of the day after it's been swarmed by flies they take it back inside to presumably eat it. I also find strange boxes of seeds and unidentified vegetables all around the common areas of the apartment building. They use the same fence to hang their underwear everyday too. Oh and their kids have drawn dozens of alphabets all over the outside of the building. I don't really care so much except for the festering meat outside next to my car.

Is this kind of poo poo normal in China, or are these people just extra weird?

This is all every day poo poo in China. Staring is not considered rude, nor are most minor to moderate violations of physical space. Last week I was chilling at a bar and three seperate fights broke out in front of the place from the course of 6pm to 8pm. They all gathered large crowds to watch as people screamed at each other. The staring and gawking was a community event and not rude in the least.

Leaving raw meat out is also pretty common. My local market only installed meat coolers in the past year. Even at international grocery chains, the meat is often left out to the open air (albeit refrigerated).

Letting kids draw wherever is also common. The walls of my apartment are covered in the doodles of children who left the unit four tenants ago.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Let us English posted:

If it didn't freeze, the pigeons would eat it, get drunk, and then fly into cars.

This brightened up my day. Thx. The wingless rats must be dancing in the streets too.

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

JaucheCharly posted:

This brightened up my day. Thx. The wingless rats must be dancing in the streets too.

one of the few things I miss is watching Korean girls scream and dive out of the way if a pigeon even flapped its wings anywhere near them

Mode 7
Jul 28, 2007

Lived at a kung fu academy in bumfuck nowhere, Jiangsu province for a month.

Bought really lovely baiju while I was in China just to say I'd tried it. It was awful.
Before I left China, all the students got taken out to a massive banquet by the headmaster and his wife and one of the teachers. Tried much higher quality/priced baiju. It was awful, but I had consumed a hell of a lot of Tsing Tao by this point so it was more palatable.

Then we went to a KTV and did karaoke and got very, very drunk and I flew back to Australia super hungover. That's my baiju story.

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4
Wait. I don't understand something. Why is her vagina cavernous if Haier hitting her cervix? He could just be loving too hard and deep too soon before she has had a chance to loosen up or enjoy herself.

vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

goons don't know anything about sexual intercourse, news at 11

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

Glenn Quebec posted:

Wait. I don't understand something. Why is her vagina cavernous if Haier hitting her cervix? He could just be loving too hard and deep too soon before she has had a chance to loosen up or enjoy herself.

picture the difference between a tuna can and a coke can..

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!

Jeoh posted:

goons don't know anything about sexual intercourse, news at 11

bag of sand

The Great Autismo!
Mar 3, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

Jeoh posted:

goons don't know anything about sexual intercourse, news at 11

post some sex stories to teach us, please

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

ladron posted:

one of the few things I miss is watching Korean girls scream and dive out of the way if a pigeon even flapped its wings anywhere near them

My girlfriend does this with anything that flies. The swallows nesting in the garage of our old apartment nearly made her cry every time we left the building. Once I took her to Butterfly Gardens and she was in hysterics. Butterflies can't loving hurt you. :wtc:

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
You get some weird behaviour from fetal alcohol syndrome kids so if the abortion survival thing is true maybe that's why she's so weird/sweaty/fidgety.

Or she's just a weird girl and being Chinese has nothing to do with it.

I think with regards to the age thing your kind of ok to go digging through her purse for ID if she stays over again. At least you'll know what age she thinks she is.

Minecraft Holmes
Oct 21, 2016

Let us English posted:

Soju is made by buying the cheapest grain on the market and distilling with just enough QA that it doesn't make you go blind. The ever so slightly methylated spirit is then mixed with water and a gently caress ton of sugar until it's around 40 proof. Then, impurities and all, it's bottled and sent to provide solace to the most miserable country on the planet. The methyl alcohol and sugar is a recipe for puking and hangovers.

This pattern lovely booze plays itself out in lots of countries. Cheap Russian vodka will do the same thing, as will baiju. Hell, the local rock-gut in Indonesia will straight up kill you.

If you want to drink soju stick to the Japanese stuff, it's better in every way.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

McGavin posted:

My girlfriend does this with anything that flies. The swallows nesting in the garage of our old apartment nearly made her cry every time we left the building. Once I took her to Butterfly Gardens and she was in hysterics. Butterflies can't loving hurt you. :wtc:

I had a Thai girl I took a museum in Philadelphia and they happened to be having a gecko exhibit. Thai people are terrified of geckos for some reason, there's a locally made horror movie about geckos almost once a year. If you make a gecko sound at night they will tell you to stop it or give you a nasty look (in so far as Thai people are capable of nasty looks). Anyway she could barely walk six feet into this open room with glass pillars distributed in it, each with a few different types of geckos in there, and she teared up and just froze on the spot on the edge of hysterics.

I was also staying in a bungalow in a beach one time and a gecko had gotten in there overnight and was chilling on the wall. I decided to shoo him out of the place, he was maybe six inches long, the bluish sort with pink spots that Thai people hate the most. Geckos are hard to shoo out of a door, they usually race around the top of the frame and you just end up driving them in a circle until they dip low and go around the doorframe and out. I'd done a similar procedure with the smaller dust colored lizards that are really common there that Thai people call jingjoh but I think the genuine geckos run on pretty much the same software.

Anyway I was slowly walking around this small bungalow lazily waving at the gecko when the bungalow owner saw me and looked in, and realized there was a gecko in there. This was a lazy Thai hippie guy who was stoned most of the day. He immediately sprung up straight and ran back to the main house and came back with a six foot or so long pole with a sharp end on it and BLAM speared the poor little gecko through its ribs.

"Woah! Why'd you do that? I was just trying to get it to go outside!"

"Oh. No, he okay."

"What?"

"He okay."

"What do you mean he's okay? He's dead."

"No not dead! Still moving! See?"

He was holding the stick out toward me with the gecko speared through on the end of it, doing that slow motion lizard gesticulation thing.

raton fucked around with this message at 18:26 on Oct 25, 2016

The North Tower
Aug 20, 2007

You should throw it in the ocean.

Dicky mouse posted:

Are you a goon?

Do you plan to sleep with this girl?


Will you be giving her money?

Should goons be allowed to have sex?

Do you have a Asian fetish?

My girl friend is Vietnamese and just tonight we had a fight, over who won/lost the Vietnam policing action.

I told her that after killing 2 million of her people America just got bored and went home.

Yes
No
No
Maybe, but then again, maybe not from some of the poo poo I've read on the forums
No

Let us English
Feb 21, 2004

Actual photo of Let Us English, probably seen here waking his wife up in the morning talking about chemical formulae when all she wants is a hot cup of shhhhh

I wish I lived in the hard drinking area of China. Everyone in Sichuan is in bed by 11 o'clock.

Sheep-Goats posted:

I had a Thai girl I took a museum in Philadelphia and they happened to be having a gecko exhibit. Thai people are terrified of geckos for some reason, there's a locally made horror movie about geckos almost once a year. If you make a gecko sound at night they will tell you to stop it or give you a nasty look (in so far as Thai people are capable of nasty looks). Anyway she could barely walk six feet into this open room with glass pillars distributed in it, each with a few different types of geckos in there, and she teared up and just froze on the spot on the edge of hysterics.

I was also staying in a bungalow in a beach one time and a gecko had gotten in there overnight and was chilling on the wall. I decided to shoo him out of the place, he was maybe six inches long, the bluish sort with pink spots that Thai people hate the most. Geckos are hard to shoo out of a door, they usually race around the top of the frame and you just end up driving them in a circle until they dip low and go around the doorframe and out. I'd done a similar procedure with the smaller dust colored lizards that are really common there that Thai people call jingjoh but I think the genuine geckos run on pretty much the same software.

Anyway I was slowly walking around this small bungalow lazily waving at the gecko when the bungalow owner saw me and looked in, and realized there was a gecko in there. This was a lazy Thai hippie guy who was stoned most of the day. He immediately sprung up straight and ran back to the main house and came back with a six foot or so long pole with a sharp end on it and BLAM speared the poor little gecko through its ribs.

"Woah! Why'd you do that? I was just trying to get it to go outside!"

"Oh. No, he okay."

"What?"

"He okay."

"What do you mean he's okay? He's dead."

"No not dead! Still moving! See?"

He was holding the stick out toward me with the gecko speared through on the end of it, doing that slow motion lizard gesticulation thing.

Don't geckos keep spiders away? I'll take the geckos in the bungalo.

We occasionally get them at work, and their the least harmful of pests. I'll take 100 geckos over the giant toilet spiders, poo poo eating rats, mosquito swarms, giant wasps, or poisonous caterpillars that show up more frequently than chill lizard bros.

Let us English fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Oct 25, 2016

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Let us English posted:

I wish I lived in the hard drinking area of China. Everyone in Sichuan is in bed by 11 o'clock.


Don't geckos keep spiders away? I'll take the geckos in the bungalo.

We occasionally get them at work, and their the least harmful of pests. I'll take 100 geckos over the giant toilet spiders, poo poo eating rats, mosquito swarms, giant wasps, or poisonous caterpillars that show up more frequently than chill lizard bros.

I asked Thai people stuff like this before and they told me "It bites and does not let go, like alligator" or "My parents told me when I was little that if I do not eat all my rice the gecko ghost will come at night and eat my liver"

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

Sheep-Goats posted:

I asked Thai people stuff like this before and they told me "It bites and does not let go, like alligator" or "My parents told me when I was little that if I do not eat all my rice the gecko ghost will come at night and eat my liver"

Man, if geckos can do that butterflies must be able to gently caress you right up.

PleasingFungus
Oct 10, 2012
idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

Outrail posted:

I think with regards to the age thing your kind of ok to go digging through her purse for ID if she stays over again. At least you'll know what age she thinks she is.

this is a really bad idea, but not any worse than loving her in the first place

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

McGavin posted:

Man, if geckos can do that butterflies must be able to gently caress you right up.

There was also a butterfly exhibit I think in the same place? but maybe a different one. One of those ones where you go in and they have a tunnel of butterflies. Anyway all the butterflies in there were loving each other on leaves, or else they would land on someone and start loving on the person

Butterflies gently caress by opening up their assholes really far and then putting their assholes around the back end of another butterfly and then there's a wormy motion that goes on for a while, it sicks me out

Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

Let us English posted:

I wish I lived in the hard drinking area of China. Everyone in Sichuan is in bed by 11 o'clock.


Don't geckos keep spiders away? I'll take the geckos in the bungalo.

We occasionally get them at work, and their the least harmful of pests. I'll take 100 geckos over the giant toilet spiders, poo poo eating rats, mosquito swarms, giant wasps, or poisonous caterpillars that show up more frequently than chill lizard bros.

I lived on sri lanka for a few years as a kid, and I freaking loved gekkos. They're kinda cute, eat a shitload of annoying insects such as mosquitos, and every so often just randomly fall down from the ceiling with a audible *splat* and scamper away unharmed. They rule. Also don't knock your spider-bros, they eat misquitos too, and if you've ever lived in a country that is just filled by them you appreciate every other creepy crawly that eats them. We had jumping spiders which were awesome to watch when they jumped onto some insect while on the ceiling like in the matrix or something.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Outrail posted:

I think with regards to the age thing your kind of ok to go digging through her purse for ID if she stays over again. At least you'll know what age she thinks she is.

see if she has some cash on her while you're at it

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Sheep-Goats posted:


Butterflies gently caress by opening up their assholes really far and then putting their assholes around the back end of another butterfly and then there's a wormy motion that goes on for a while, it sicks me out

:prepop:

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Phlegmish posted:

see if she has some cash on her while you're at it

Yeah there's no difference at all between checking to see if someone in your house is who they are and stealing their money. I mean you might as well drug her and sell her organs to black market medical suppliers because once you're on that slippery slope you're obligated to follow it all the way through. :rolleyes:

If she's acting really immature and cagey about her age I think it's kind of okay to check she's not a minor or something. Not saying it's a good thing but it's not a really bad thing.

diamond dog
Jul 27, 2010

by merry exmarx

The Great Autismo! posted:

sometimes it isn't even a drive by comment, its a full fledged meltdown. it's good times, u should swing by more often

to be fair goons recently seem to have redefined "meltdown" as "any post of two or more paragraphs"

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

diamond dog posted:

to be fair goons recently seem to have redefined "meltdown" as "any post of two or more paragraphs"

Nice meltdown.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless



raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

diamond dog posted:

to be fair goons recently seem to have redefined "meltdown" as "any post of two or more paragraphs"

This is true be we do actually get some driveby metldowns itt

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Holy cow!! 😍

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
https://my.mixtape.moe/drxixl.mp4

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Nsfw that poo poo mate

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
im the one asian lady completely stone faced the entire song

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Holy gently caress! How did they think that was a good idea, and not totally 1950's style racism?

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Deceitful Penguin posted:

im the one asian lady completely stone faced the entire song

I don't know they to be stoned faced until at the checkout counter they learn that their coupons are expired.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
http://i.imgur.com/2QKFBRN.mp4

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

lol at the twist ending

Gargamel Gibson
Apr 24, 2014
Ouch, her balls got crushed!

THE PWNER
Sep 7, 2006

by merry exmarx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZdtJesjeXI

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Barudak
May 7, 2007

Let us English posted:

I wish I lived in the hard drinking area of China.

As a person whose in laws are from there, no no you do not.

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