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Non Serviam posted:Where do you find all of these? Do you have a saved version of trooper tales or something? Bookmarked. Believe me--I try to pull the cream of the crop. I estimate that 90% of it is people retelling their anime/gaming stories( I was playing D&D and rolled 3 20s in a row), 8% telling things no one on God's green earth cares about(My car needs brakes), 11/2 % possibly true(Mom called me Sephiroth once), and the last 1/2% come here for your perusal.
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Oct 22, 2016 11:38
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Non Serviam posted:I wanna see him running though. Oh for sure, even walking with that shotgun stuck down his pantleg would be awkward as gently caress. It's still a hilarious video 
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Oct 22, 2016 11:44
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Fathis Munk posted:Relevant video I like this guy better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMcrk-7QEiw
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Oct 22, 2016 12:44
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System Metternich posted:I like this guy better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Ansf9z6bs&t=171s
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Oct 22, 2016 13:43
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Khazar-khum posted:Pants 19 different pistols, you guys. Plus ten more guns. And this guy ran totally normal and was in no way huffing and puffing and drenched in sweat because twenty-nine firearms and several dozen magazines of ammo don't actually weigh anything despite being made primarily out of metal. Also, they have no physical dimensions at all and there's no way you'd see some evidence that a guy was carrying almost thirty guns and as many extra magazines under his clothing. Hoodies are basically portals to alternate dimensions. venus de lmao has a new favorite as of 14:33 on Oct 22, 2016 |
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Oct 22, 2016 14:29
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Fathis Munk posted:Relevant video Thank you, I was looking for that. The part where he pulls out the rifle cracks me up every time. It's just so over the top.
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Oct 22, 2016 17:19
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Khazar-khum posted:Istanbul Absolutely heretical.
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Oct 22, 2016 17:25
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(I Am Not Making This Up)
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Oct 22, 2016 17:40
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No idea why you linked me a Finnish Derrick spoof (I'm prolly just dumb tho), but it was pretty funny, so thanks anyway
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Oct 22, 2016 17:52
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Oct 22, 2016 19:47
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Khazar-khum posted:The same backpack actualy beat Boston airport security, because after coming back from England, this troper spent 10 minutes trying to take all the books he had bought overseas and didn't want to ship back(they totaled soemthing like 250, with 70 of those coming back with me directly). Eventualy, after 30 books, the bag checker gave up and handed me back the backpack, saying (I Am Not Making This Up) "Congradulations kid, you beat the U.S. Goverment. Now get the #$%^ out of here." Because airlines have no weight limits on carry on or luggage. Given that commuter air travel is one of the most expensive forms of travel it probably would've been cheaper to, you know, ship them. (If this had actually happened.)
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Oct 22, 2016 20:17
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Bertrand Hustle posted:19 different pistols, you guys. Plus ten more guns. And this guy ran totally normal and was in no way huffing and puffing and drenched in sweat because twenty-nine firearms and several dozen magazines of ammo don't actually weigh anything despite being made primarily out of metal. Also, they have no physical dimensions at all and there's no way you'd see some evidence that a guy was carrying almost thirty guns and as many extra magazines under his clothing. Hoodies are basically portals to alternate dimensions. I actually got curious, so I decided to figure out how much that poo poo would weigh. Going a little conservative here: * "19 different pistols" using the weight of a Walther PP (to represent the cheap .32 or .380 caliber pistols your average criminal actually uses): 27.31 pounds * "6 revolvers" using the weight of a Colt Detective Special: 24.93 pounds * "2 sawed-off shotguns" using a weight of 7.3 pounds (assuming the base gun weighed about 10 pounds and about 3 pounds was taken off by shortening it): 14.6 pounds * "A hunting rifle" using the weight of a Remington Model 700 without a scope: 8.99 pounds * "An assault rifle" using the weight of a plain M4 Carbine: 7.5 pounds with one magazine * "A few dozen magazines of ammo" assuming nothing but loaded Walther PP magazines in .380 ACP, going with 24 mags and using a resource I have on magazine and cartridge weight: 6 pounds So going as conservative as possible (using only compact handguns and revolvers with unloaded weight, only using compact pistol magazines, and only having one magazine for the AR-15 and no scope for the Remington 700), that gives me a total weight of 89.33 pounds. This man was running around the track with the weight of a high school freshman cheerleader on his body.
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Oct 22, 2016 23:22
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chitoryu12 posted:I actually got curious, so I decided to figure out how much that poo poo would weigh. Going a little conservative here: I have no idea what 89.33 pounds is but the nearer your gear gets to weighing 30 kg, the less people can march carrying it let alone run. Then again, some people are stronger than others  e: And people do run while carrying women (I doubt they are high school freshman cheerleaders) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1la1l8gv00 ee: I mean it still didn't happen. 3D Megadoodoo has a new favorite as of 23:44 on Oct 22, 2016 |
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Oct 22, 2016 23:41
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Jerry Cotton posted:I have no idea what 89.33 pounds is but the nearer your gear gets to weighing 30 kg, the less people can march carrying it let alone run. Then again, some people are stronger than others 89.33 lb is about 40.5 kg.
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Oct 23, 2016 00:03
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Jerry Cotton posted:I have no idea what 89.33 pounds is but the nearer your gear gets to weighing 30 kg, the less people can march carrying it let alone run. Then again, some people are stronger than others It's about 40.5 kilograms.
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Oct 23, 2016 00:17
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RNG posted:Because airlines have no weight limits on carry on or luggage. Given that commuter air travel is one of the most expensive forms of travel it probably would've been cheaper to, you know, ship them. (If this had actually happened.) Books weigh an average of 1 pound. That's 70 pounds in a backpack, plus all those others. Roughly that 30kg that is pushing the limits for soldiers.
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Oct 23, 2016 06:14
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I never get the "You never believe what people sneak into theaters!" lines if only because most people who work at movie theaters don't really give a poo poo about your wacky plan.
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Oct 23, 2016 06:32
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bobjr posted:I never get the "You never believe what people sneak into theaters!" lines if only because most people who work at movie theaters don't really give a poo poo about your wacky plan. A lot of the stuff posted here isn't so much "poo poo that didn't happen" as "poo poo that did happen, but why are you bragging about it".
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Oct 23, 2016 06:47
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bobjr posted:I never get the "You never believe what people sneak into theaters!" lines if only because most people who work at movie theaters don't really give a poo poo about your wacky plan. Our rule as staff was "don't be blatant about it." Yes, we make money from concessions, but we ain't getting a bonus for stopping you either.
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Oct 23, 2016 10:16
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Hired And Fired Office | USA | Job Seekers (I am interviewing a young college student for an entry level job. She’s wearing sweatpants and flip flops with a baggy shirt, and her hair’s a mess. Per the rules, we must reject any applicant who comes wearing inappropriate interview attire, even for entry level, so I do. My boss comes over to talk to me a short while later.) Boss: “About her, did she really look that bad?” Me: “Well, she looked like she had just rolled out of bed in old wrinkled clothes, and hadn’t bothered to brush her hair or groom at all.” Boss: “Really? Because her resume is very good. I can’t believe someone with such a great resume would do that.” Me: “Well, you told me that appearance is important when judging applicants.” Boss: *snappish* “Yes, I know what I told you, but you should’ve hired her anyway! Did you even look at her resume?” (Long story short, he overrode me, hired her anyway, and fired me… for following HIS rule! Idiocy must be a prerequisite for bosses.)
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Oct 23, 2016 21:51
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Tunicate posted:Hired And Fired Haha I hope this happened because the fucker was dumb as poo poo for not realizing employers pay you to do the best possible job despite things like stupid orders.
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Oct 23, 2016 21:57
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Jerry Cotton posted:Haha I hope this happened because the fucker was dumb as poo poo for not realizing employers pay you to do the best possible job despite things like stupid orders. And he didn't notice she had the same last name as the boss.
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Oct 23, 2016 21:58
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baquerd posted:And he didn't notice she had the same last name as the boss. Ah yes the Einstein-Monroe family is notorious for its nepotism.
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Oct 23, 2016 22:01
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If only OP had checked the resumé to see it was written in fluent Chinese.
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Oct 23, 2016 22:02
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Jerry Cotton posted:If only OP had checked the resumé to see it was written in fluent Chinese. Japanese. His daughter's dream is to move to Japan, you see, where she'll work as an animator on her favorite series. This job was to allow her work experience and pay to finance her move.
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Oct 24, 2016 07:00
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:A lot of the stuff posted here isn't so much "poo poo that didn't happen" as "poo poo that did happen, but why are you bragging about it". Thinking about it, I think a lot of it are those dumb little stories you share when you're hanging out with your friends and are just shooting the poo poo for a while, you're just telling them to pass time and maybe because they're slightly interesting to that friend. You're not looking to weave an intricate tale or send them to the floor laughing, you're just talking about something mild that happened to you while you're catching up with each other. Maybe most of these folks don't have anybody IRL they can chew the fat with. So they try to maybe make it a little grander and that way they can sell it to strangers on the internet. Like when you want to order pizza but the place already closed, so you have a hot pocket from the freezer instead. If you try hard enough, you can pretend it satisfies the craving
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Oct 24, 2016 16:59
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Bertrand Hustle posted:19 different pistols, you guys. Plus ten more guns. And this guy ran totally normal and was in no way huffing and puffing and drenched in sweat because twenty-nine firearms and several dozen magazines of ammo don't actually weigh anything despite being made primarily out of metal. Also, they have no physical dimensions at all and there's no way you'd see some evidence that a guy was carrying almost thirty guns and as many extra magazines under his clothing. Hoodies are basically portals to alternate dimensions. Not to mention I'm pretty sure it's illegal to own or carry a sawed-off shotgun...let alone two, on school grounds.
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Oct 24, 2016 17:46
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I feel like if you're going to pretend your teacher was hip to your Dank Memes, you should probably at least change your handwriting.
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Oct 24, 2016 22:20
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food court bailiff posted:Not to mention I'm pretty sure it's illegal to own or carry a sawed-off shotgun...let alone two, on school grounds. In the US, it's surprisingly easy to legally manufacture and possess a sawed-off shotgun. Depending on where you live, it's probably more illegal to have on school grounds than the other 28 guns that didn't happen.
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Oct 25, 2016 00:20
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Horror_Business posted:There are some pretty terrible people and more stdh in the article and comments. This reads like it was written by a man, while masturbating, furiously.
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Oct 25, 2016 10:32
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food court bailiff posted:Not to mention I'm pretty sure it's illegal to own or carry a sawed-off shotgun...let alone two, on school grounds. The legality of a sawed-off shotgun depends on the individual state. Federally, it would be classified as a short-barreled shotgun (SBS) and be subjected to a $200 tax stamp, fingerprinting, and extra red tape to get approval to own. Individual states can add their own restrictions, including completely banning them. Short-barreled rifles (SBR) are legislated the same way. The one quirk is guns like the Serbu Super Shorty. If a shotgun is factory manufactured at such a short length, it instead gets classified as Any Other Weapon (AOW) and has only a $5 tax stamp, though the red tape to own is much the same. Either way, it's impossible to legally own a short-barreled rifle or shotgun without federal registration and more money than the gun is probably worth. That said, the caveat is "legally". Any moron with a hacksaw can make one.
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Oct 25, 2016 14:28
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chitoryu12 posted:The legality of a sawed-off shotgun depends on the individual state. Federally, it would be classified as a short-barreled shotgun (SBS) and be subjected to a $200 tax stamp, fingerprinting, and extra red tape to get approval to own. Individual states can add their own restrictions, including completely banning them. Short-barreled rifles (SBR) are legislated the same way. But it's certainly not legal to carry one to school.
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Oct 25, 2016 14:33
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Yeah but the story talks about some kind of demo so I guess it's a safety event or something organised with the police or whatever. I don't understand why everyone feels the need to point out "But it would be illegal to take it to school." No poo poo sherlock.
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Oct 25, 2016 14:51
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Fathis Munk posted:Yeah but the story talks about some kind of demo so I guess it's a safety event or something organised with the police or whatever. Solely because the response I quoted was itself a response to someone saying that. Honestly, given the American guns system it would not surprise me if concealed carry was legal at universities in some states.
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Oct 25, 2016 14:56
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Prism posted:Solely because the response I quoted was itself a response to someone saying that. Well shame on you, that's how derails get started
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Oct 25, 2016 15:02
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Fathis Munk posted:Well shame on you, that's how derails get started Suffer. Here's (a tiny bit of) content to underail. quote:(I am in a fast food restaurant and I notice a sign posted behind the register.) I've worked retail and fast food. We had to get regional permission to put up a sign when the credit card machine didn't work. Nobody's gonna let you put up a sign like this, come on. Minor, but it made me roll my eyes.
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Oct 25, 2016 15:10
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Prism posted:Solely because the response I quoted was itself a response to someone saying that. As of February 2014, 6 states legalize it, 21 ban it, and 23 let the universities have the final say. The usual reason given for not allowing it is that classroom discussions will get so heated that someone will pull a gun and shoot a teacher or student over Philosophy 101 or something; from the research I've done, so far I can't find any instances of this happening. There's definitely plenty of illegal concealed carry going on, of course. Unless there are metal detectors or some other kind of security search, you can guarantee that at least one person has carried a gun in and out of any particular location. 99.9% of the time you'd never notice.
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Oct 25, 2016 15:41
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Bertrand Hustle posted:19 different pistols, you guys. Plus ten more guns. And this guy ran totally normal and was in no way huffing and puffing and drenched in sweat because twenty-nine firearms and several dozen magazines of ammo don't actually weigh anything despite being made primarily out of metal. Also, they have no physical dimensions at all and there's no way you'd see some evidence that a guy was carrying almost thirty guns and as many extra magazines under his clothing. Hoodies are basically portals to alternate dimensions. MythBusters did a bit where they tested if the Doom Marine could run around carrying all of the weapons and gear. A strong and fit military man can move pretty fast even carrying all that crap.
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Oct 25, 2016 22:45
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chitoryu12 posted:As of February 2014, 6 states legalize it, 21 ban it, and 23 let the universities have the final say. The usual reason given for not allowing it is that classroom discussions will get so heated that someone will pull a gun and shoot a teacher or student over Philosophy 101 "The Prince was not loving satire, dumbshit, HOW ABOUT I INTRODUCE YOU TO THE PLATONIC FORM OF A .357 HOLLOWPOINT MOTHERFUCKER"
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Oct 25, 2016 23:12
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CannonFodder posted:MythBusters did a bit where they tested if the Doom Marine could run around carrying all of the weapons and gear. A strong and fit military man can move pretty fast even carrying all that crap. It's amazing what one can do when running from things usually going faster than sound that can kill you pretty dead
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Oct 25, 2016 23:32
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