quote:

My [18F] parents want to meet the guy [28M] I've been speaking to online. How to stop this from being awkward?

I have been talking with him for a year, and although he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend, 'dating' is the best way to describe our relationship. We text all day everyday, and occasionally phone or skype, but we haven't met up in person. Before any of you jump to conclusions, I know 100% he isn't a catfish. I met him through a friend who he was close with and have skyped him. Last month we made plans to go to New York for a short holiday together this December, and have now booked everything. I told my parents who know about him vaguely, but they agreed I could go if they could meet him first. I told him and he was reluctant but agreed. I keep asking him to make a specific date when we can all meet for coffee, but he keeps ignoring the question. He is hesitant to meet them because he has a very poor image of himself (says he is too ugly and overweight to be good enough for me) and thinks my parents will judge him for it and say I can do better than him. I didn't tell him this but I think this is what they'll say, but I really don't want them to say no because everything is booked. Do you know how I can kind of swing them in the direction that he isn't a weirdo?

quote:

I asked my [25F] boyfriend [25M] to post my mail-in ballot, and he threw it away. Trying to decide if this is a dealbreaker.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and we have very different political views. In the past it's been really important for me to date someone who I agree with politically, but I started thinking that maybe this was close-minded. We ended up falling in love, but we've had many "arguments" (very civil ones) over politics, obviously exacerbated by the current election. I am very proudly supporting my candidate, he's very proudly supporting his, and we will never see eye to eye. I thought I could live with that, and it actually has led to an interesting dynamic in our relationship.
Yesterday George was going to the post office to pick up a package and I asked him to drop off my mail-in ballot. He said sure, no problem, and I thought that was that.
Later that night I dropped a piece of jewelry in the kitchen trash and I was digging through looking for it when I found my ballot buried at the bottom. It was folded up to hide the front and my name and address had been scribbled out. In other words, it's obvious that someone very deliberately disposed of it.
George left early for work today so I haven't spoken to him about it yet. I know everyone's going to say I need to talk to him before making any decisions, but let's assume that the situation is what it looks like, and he threw away my ballot. Am I wrong in feeling like this is a dealbreaker? I feel so disgusted, violated, and betrayed by this.
tl;dr: My boyfriend threw away my ballot after I asked him to mail it for me.

corn on the cop posted:

sigh

military cervix posted:

Unironically

military cervix posted:

Unironically

military cervix posted:

Unironically

military cervix posted:

Unironically

quote:

Basically just looking for advice in this situation. Idk what the gently caress happened, my gf just randomly brought the subject of open relationships up yesterday and then said we should maybe try it. I said naa, it sounds dumb, and she argued with me for about two loving hours about it. I'm being firm on the no open relationships thing but I don't understand why she brought it up in the first place. She isn't pushing it anymore, but she seems to be cold towards me for my stance. And I admit I am really depressed that she brought it up in the first place.

Am I overreacting? Can some girl help me understand her thought process? We have a very good relationship..

tl;dr: My gf suddenly wants an open relationship. How should I approach this?

quote:

Yeah, it is suspicious... I mean, the fact that she isn't replying to my texts properly makes me think like she's annoyed that I didn't let her gently caress this other guy? Or maybe she's thinking about dumping me and I don't even have to worry about understanding her or making a decision! hahaha...

I don't get the concept of open relationships. If it works for you cool, but I don't believe in it whatsoever.

military cervix posted:

Unironically

quote:

Am I [28 M] being unreasonable with my gf [27 F] about a guy moving in with her?

So yesterday was one heck of a ride. I get a message from my gf in the morning stating that she is considering having a roommate move in with her to help with rent. I tell her as long as it is somebody she can trust (she lives in a crappy town, so it's hard to trust people there.) She tells me yes, and that it is somebody from school that she knows. I felt like she was avoiding the obvious question as to whom this person is actually, so I bluntly just ask her whether this is a guy or a girl. I get a one word response, "guy". I tell her my obvious dismay to the circumstance, due to reasons which I will further explain below, which she already knows about as we have been together for 8 months now. They graduated together, so he is obviously around the same age as her as well.

A little bit of background, I was married for about 6 years, only to find out that my ex wife cheated on me 1 month after we got married, and that my oldest son is not biologically mine. Now, I am not the kind of person whom just decides that I am no longer taking care of my son, it is not even remotely his fault, and I have been the father that he knows his entire life. Due to extremely poor circumstances during the divorce, I ended up having to take a DNA test, which has ultimately still led to me fighting for visitation of him. I do at least get my youngest every Tuesday and Thursday, along with every other weekend, but not being able to see my oldest has definitely hit me hard. As I said, I am still trying to fight for visitation through the juvenile courts, as the court that I was getting the divorce through said this isn't a situation that they can deal with for a divorce.

So fast forward back to now. I try my best to not be jealous of much, even though deep down, it is extremely rough on me. I know she has guy friends, and that is all fine and dandy. I am not going to control her, I don't work like that. This, however, is a very large step out of my comfort zone, which I made abundantly clear during our conversation.

Last night, while I am talking to her, I get a picture of her dog meeting a new dog. Turns out, the guy already moved in LAST NIGHT when we were just having the conversation that morning regarding this. I don't want to break up with her... I truly do love her, but this is really hurting me deeply. I feel like my trust has been violated with this, especially given my initial concern with the issue. And the ultimate kick in the butt was that he moved in last night... meaning that she conveniently didn't tell me until the absolute last minute.

I did not sleep last night (and that is not an exaggeration). The thing is, it's not like I don't trust her... The situation itself is just destroying me on the inside.

Am I being completely unreasonable here? She already knew about my past with my ex wife, waits until the last minute to mention it, and completely disregards my concerns that I made blatantly obvious to her. Oh, and lastly, the guy that moved in is supposed to be helping her with rent... Yet I also have come to find out, doesn't even currently have a job.

I am truly at wits end here. I don't want to leave her, but I feel so freaking betrayed by this. I don't want to be that controlling type guy that is extremely jealous 24/7, and given my past, I feel like I have done pretty well so far... but this is just hitting me like a ton of bricks.

My questions are, as mentioned; Am I being unreasonable? What the hell should I do about this? The fact that I didn't even know about this until yesterday, followed by the guy moving in same day... Was she just blatantly lying to me by not telling me sooner, knowing that I would not be ok with this? As she was purposely holding off the information that this was a guy until I straight up asked the question, feels like a lie too... by holding that off, she once again, obviously knew that I would not be very thrilled about this.

Oh.. she also lives an hour and a half away from me.

tl;dr: GF tells me just yesterday a guy is moving in, turns out he moved in the same night. I explained my feelings prior to him moving in during the initial conversation. It feels like she left out important details in mentioning this to me as well, knowing that I would not be ok with the situation.

Gaunab posted:

Jack Trades posted:

Guy[23] I'm[f/22] seeing made me promise not to let him have sex with him even if he begged for it. Red flag or just insecurities about penis size?

Gaunab posted:

Oh.. she also lives an hour and a half away from me. 

Charles Get-Out posted:

These are always funny to me because "don't live with another guy I don't know and don't do it without telling me" is a pretty reasonable request in a monogamous relationship imo. Almost certain the "I don't want to be that controlling type guy that is extremely jealous 24/7" comes from the fact the he doesn't want to come across as the "bad guy."

Dude should Pete up and sever.

Tiny Deer posted:

Also what kind of idiot disposes of evidence in their own home?

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

I dunno, I've lived with girls before and the only risk was me getting interested in their friends. Roommates are very, very annoying.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Having a male roommate isn't the issue to me, it's the fact that she's being shady about it and preemptively blocked any input the dude might have had. Denial of agency like this or like the dude trashing that other girl's vote is a pretty big red flag to me

poopnanners posted:

what if i want a lot of sex with sluts

reddit plz halp

Chomp8645 posted:

I'm the friend who connected an 18 year old woman with a 28 year old depressed fat man.

Dial-a-Dog posted:

100% this guy has a micro penis. "Oh god don't look at my 'semi-boner'" means "I'm rock hard and I don't want you to see how small this bulge is". Even if his whole no sex thing is "just" weiner insecurity, it sounds like he has such a complex over it that it would dominate any relationship he's in, that's probably why he doesn't have any

quote:

Growing up, I didn't watch a lot of TV. I always had something else or something more important or more interesting to do. I'd watch maybe an hour or two every week, usually with my family. We'd watch shows like Ally McBeal or sometimes The Simpsons.

I also didn't really watch a lot of cartoons or movies. We were more of a reading family, and we had a lot of other activities to do at the same time. There was a rule that we couldn't ever just sit in front of the TV, we had to be also doing something. Whether it was knitting or drawing, my parents never allowed us to sit around and just stare at the TV because it was a waste of time. I'm far removed from their home, but it's still true for me.

The thing is, I just don't enjoy violent, shoot 'em up kill 'em all media. I was never "desensitized" to violence the way a lot of other people were growing up. I don't find watching very violent shows to be entertaining or interesting. I find it sad and honestly it bothers me.

My husband is different. He grew up doing anything he wants and watching TV all the time. Sometimes he'll watch it all day. I have no issue with this at all, if he wants to watch TV all day it's his choice, you know?

The problem is that he gets really frustrated with me these days because I'm just not into the TV shows he's into. A few years ago he wanted us to watch Game of Thrones. I got as far as the little girl being violently raped on screen by her big hulking husband and I had to throw up. I can't stomach things like that. I passed on watching the rest of the show with him, and he's always grumpy about it. The same with The Walking Dead. The same with Breaking Bad. And all of those campy Marvel movies and that Jessica Jones show. He thought I might like it because I liked Veronica Mars, but I wanted to throw up in the first episode alone. He thought I might like Mr. Robot and we watched several episodes until the drug dealer chopped up his manic pixie dream girl and stashed her in the trunk and I just couldn't stomach how that woman did nothing to deserve it, it was just to further the autistic main character's story. I couldn't watch after that.

I still don't watch a lot of TV. Occasionally I'll watch an episode of Bob's Burgers or one of the shows on ABC Family/Freeform. I always ask him to watch with me but he sneers and talks about how they're all "boring baby shows for little teenage girls."

He gets mad that I bring my knitting with me to watch TV, because I should be "focused on the TV" but I don't even have to look at my knitting half of the time. Or I might have to look down for about 3 seconds. I don't get why he's bothered by that part, honestly. I've never had to ask him what happened or explain anything to me. I'm just not someone who can sit around and watch TV and I thought he knew that by now.

I don't know if there's a compromise here. I'm not about to start watching media that makes me nauseous or feels wrong to watch. I just don't find violence and murder and rape to be entertaining, they're depressing and haunting to me.

But the other night he practically threw a fit because I would not watch The Walking Dead with him. He got very upset because his friends were all watching at their homes and their wives don't act like they're "too good for TV."

I don't know if this is just going to be one of those little things we deal with through our life together, but I also don't know if there's some kind of compromise to be made.

tl;dr: My husband seems to be really upset lately that I just do not enjoy violent media. I don't like watching murder and shooty shooty beat them up scenes or shows that are just non-stop violence. Is there a compromise?

quote:

Am I, [24 M] an idiot or is my coworker [26 F] trying to manipulate me?

So around a month ago my coworker invited me to a Halloween-party she's hosting. I cannot remember my initial response, but it must've been something like: "Sure, sounds great!" (a positive reply nonetheless).

I got to my workplace today and told her: "Look I'm still not sure about the Halloween-party but I'll decide before the weekend." And she was like: "But you promised me..? I didn't know you're not trustworthy."

I told her that I had no idea it was so important to her (some people see effort into these parties I get that), so I felt sorry. But the thing is, she even referred to me as a sociopath for not understanding how the party might be important for someone else than me. Like drat, I feel like poo poo now if I skip this party. In the end, I'm not the most social person ever who enjoys big parties etc. So I'm contemplating on it. I NEVER actually promised anything.

Am I being manipulated or am I just an rear end in a top hat?

tldr - Got invited to a Halloween-party, said yes initially, now changing my mind to "maybe" and now apparently I cannot be trusted anymore.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I was totally ready to laugh at the OP for this one but she really turned it around for me:

My (31f) husband (30m) of 4 years (together 7) says he's sick of my dislike of violent media.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Like, feeling ill from violent media is kinda understandable if quaint. Being obsessed with tv and getting mad that your wife won't "focus on the tv" that you watch all day because she wants to do something marginally less mindless than consume the mental equivalent of comfort food for 6 hour stretches is absurd.

WampaLord posted:

The guy is definitely hosed with the amount of media he consumes, but her attitude is kinda weird as well. It's like she can't separate fiction from reality and must react as though the things happening on the TV are real. Who has to throw up because they saw something on TV?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Yeah I dunno, I've been separating violent media from reality since I was very young. It's hard for me to imagine myself in the head of someone who hasn't learned to do that.