Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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Fried Watermelon: Dec 29, 2008

loquacius posted:

Yeah even if that guy wasn't a fetishist he was at LEAST a hobbyist, I dunno what else you'd call taking drugs that keep you from pooping for no real reason and using your days off to poop basically all day

on that note

so like you stick your finger up your butt the way some people bite their nails? ok sure. Try a replacement behavior, like next time you get an urge to stick your finger up your butt, clap your hands or something instead I dunno.

no poop in this next one sorry

Anyone else think it's weird that someone who apparently believes in ghosts is so dismissive of religion that he calls priests "some magic guy in a collared shirt"

Well my dude I'm not gonna tell you you should get an exorcist but you should probably hire either a therapist or a witcher

You're actually dressing up in drag at night and buying duplos at walmart while kissing milk cartons

# ? Oct 21, 2016 22:20

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# ? May 10, 2024 08:40

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Deffo sounss like Withcer work. Be sure youre ready to pay and itll get taken care of

# ? Oct 21, 2016 22:30

quidditch it and quit it: Oct 11, 2012

"I knocked up my high school sweetheart at age 17. Neither of us was ready, but with the support of our parents, we made it work. I was working 2 jobs - a delivery driver during the day and a movie theater general manager at night. Long days, not a lot of sleep, but I was helping my girlfriend pay her way through college. She was going to become an engineer and we'd be able to give a good life to our son.

Then they died. I was working and got a phone call right around 9 pm. It was a bad storm out, and a fall day, so there were wet leaves everywhere. She was driving to Wal-mart to pick up a few things. Our son, having just recently celebrated his 3rd birthday, wanted to go help.

A car coming the other way on a sharp curve slipped on wet leaves, crossed the middle line, and t boned my wife's car. It's presumed they both survived this, but then a pickup came from behind at about 85 mph and utterly smashed both cars. The pickup driver was killed, the car driver was not. He told the whole story and it was ruled an accident. I don't blame him, though I do blame the truck driver.

The next few months were a blur of sadness, loneliness, and a descent into a very dark place. But eventually I moved on. My wife and son will always be the greatest loves in my life, and will always be an inspiration to me. But I had to rebuild my own life to honor them, like I knew they would want.

But then things went bad.

I've started having trouble sleeping at night. I either stay up way too late, or toss and turn all night. I don't think I've gotten 6 hours (let alone 8) since April or May. I won't sugarcoat this - I believe my wife and son's ghosts are trapped an unable to pass on to whatever comes next. I don't believe in much of anything, but I am convinced of this. Little things she used to do are being done in my house. She used to drink milk out of the carton and leave some lipstick behind, and I'm finding lipstick on my milk cartons again. My son was starting to play with duplos, and I'm finding duplos in the yard every time I cut the grass. There's more, but those are the 2 I absolutely cannot explain.

As I said before, I don't believe in much. I don't think there's some magic guy in a collared shirt that can help me, and I don't think prayers or a book of parables or anything like that will help.

So I have no idea what to do, and I hope my family can just pass on to the next thing soon. Because I'm feeling like I'm losing them all over again."

I wish I got free duplos.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 23:59

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

Ghost dad, what seems more likely: that your dead loved ones are haunting you or that your grieving brain is being unreliable?

I'll spare you the guessing, it's the latter. Talk to a therapist.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 00:49

RatHat: Dec 31, 2007; A tiny behatted rat👒🐀!

Gonna guess the sleep deprivation isn't helping either.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 02:33

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

You miss your family and are making leaps in logic to connect them with everyday things. Probably a touch of survivors guilt too. Talk to a therapist or your friends about it.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 03:18

whiter than a Wilco show: Mar 30, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Confession: just like Lego, the plural of Duplo is Duplo. Do the exact opposite of any advice from some broke brained "duplos" typist.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 03:48

Clockwerk: Apr 6, 2005

Build yourself a new, better wife, out of Duplo

# ? Oct 22, 2016 06:14

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Clockwerk posted:

Build yourself a new, better wife, out of Duplo

best youre gonna fo with duplo is a pocket pussy

but you can construct a fairly convincing son using megablocks

# ? Oct 22, 2016 08:08

Cool Dad: Jun 15, 2007; It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

The lipstick on the milk is probably blood. Brush your teeth grossface.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 18:10

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Hey, this thread is frequently depressing/disturbing, so here's a nice thing that happened to me-

I proposed to my girlfriend on our vacation to SF last week and she said 'yes.' We are keeping it a secret because we don't want to be inundated by calls/texts/questions about a wedding just yet, however, we are ridiculously excited and happy and I want to share it with someone, so here I am.

It sort of happened on a whim, but I did have the intention of asking her to marry me on this vacation cause I figured we would be in a nice setting and I never seem to do romantic things. Originally, I wanted to do it when we went on a wine tour of Napa/Sonoma, but there were a ton of people around and we got kinda trashed and I felt that I (though probably her, too) would want to be sober for this.

So, the second to last day of our trip, we took a ferry across the bay, jumped on a bus, and went up to the Muir woods. It had been raining on and off for the last few days so it was foggy and nice and quiet. I redirected us to take the hillside path that overlooks a creek and kept trying to find a good moment/place to do it but wasn't too satisfied with anything we came across until we got toward the end of the path where it kind of hooks around a little gorge and there was a small space that had a wooden bench. I sat her down and asked and she broke into tears (which was pretty funny), said yes, then we sloppily made out while some people passed by us on the path. I didn't have a ring or anything but she's not very into jewelry, so she didn't mind, but I asked her again a few days ago and she said she would get her finger measured if I really wanted to get her something.

We never have had any sort of pressure to get married even though we've been together for a few years now, but I think it was really important for me to do this since I tend to let things in my life carry on or play out or fall into place on their own and I realized that I want to marry someone because I want it and not cause it's something that "makes sense" or is expected or whatever. I wanted it cause I wanted it.

Now we are trying to figure out exactly how we're going tell people and how to plan a wedding which is kind of overwhelming even though we're probably going to keep it simple/small (courthouse, a few witnesses, then a party where we can all get wasted).

Aww, congrats :3:

I just spent all day writing, addressing, and stuffing wedding thank-you notes, still worth it

and just to ruin your warm fuzzies after reading that:

quote:

I'm addicted to picking my nose and eating the boorgers. I've tried to stop but I can't. I know it's nasty, but I don't care.

# ? Oct 22, 2016 21:09

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

good luck to you and your fiancee :3:

if there's anything i regret about doing a small courthouse wedding (and by small i mean just me, husband and my supportive brother), it's that, in hindsight, i wish my relationship with my parents at that time could have been better. i never wanted a big wedding, of course, but thinking back, i feel very sad that we had to keep it a secret. it was still nice.

my relationship with my parents is a lot better after we moved out, and my parents gave us a belated wedding gift!! but sometimes i think about what it would've been like to have them there and i start crying. i'm doing it right now :cry:

# ? Oct 22, 2016 22:02

Clockwerk: Apr 6, 2005

That feel good engagement confession :cabot:

# ? Oct 22, 2016 23:18

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Proposing to my wife was probably the bravest thing I did at the time and the confident way she said "yes!" made me glad I was crazy enough to pop the question before she started grad school instead of waiting until she graduated. Good times.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 00:50

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

H.H posted:

I don't know Mandarin, but my friends who studied it say that the morphology is very simple. The difficult part is pronunciation and writing.
Any Chinese speakers who can verify this?

Sorry to dig this up but I'm just catching up on the thread and can actually answer this.

Grammatically Chinese is superficially similar to English (SVO), which means at basic levels putting a sentence together is pretty simple. But this also leads to native English speakers falling into the trap of thinking that something is correct when it is not. Where time and place go in a sentence is a classic example.

The writing gets a bad rap. It really isn't that bad. When you think about it, most adults don't read English phonetically. You just recognize the first and last letters and a few in the middle and the word jumps out at you. That's basically how you read Chinese. The difference is that there are a few hundred rather than 26 "letters" and several of the arrangements look similar. This is a bad example but for instance 人入 and 八 have nothing in common. A better example is 李 and 季 which are easy for learners to confuse. But there are mnemonic ways to learn the writing that avoid confusion. See the series for learning characters in Chinese or Japanese by Heisig.

But the important thing to remember is that this writing system is designed around the idea that it doesn't matter what your spoken language is. I find once you can recognize the characters, reading Chinese is pretty straightforward. Once you have a broad character knowledge it's not that tough to get the gist of something.

The next hurdle is recognizing compound words. For instance 馬 means horse and 桶 means bucket but 馬桶 means toilet. Most of these you just have to learn, though obviously context helps and some make sense. 電腦 or "electric brain" obviously means computer. The worst is when you see two or three characters in a row and you're trying to decide if you should read them independently or as one or more compounds only to realize the characters are being used for their phonetic values to represent a foreign word, like 威士忌, or might soldier envy, or wei shi ji, or "whiskey".

Tones and pronunciation are the other sticking point. Chinese has a lot of sounds that English lacks, specifically in its range of consonants. This is where a lot of English speakers get hung up. They can't get their head around the difference between a j and a zh or a c and a z or worse an sh and an x.

Tones are their own can of worms. I'm not even convinced that people coming from a different tonal language have any advantage in learning the tones of a new language. It might make it easier to pick out which tones are being used, but it isn't like high tone in Mandarin tells you anything about high tone in Thai.

Fortunately Mandarin only has four tones and a neutral and how they interact can fit on an index card. For example a third tone before another third tone becomes a second tone and a third tone before a fourth tone is shortened. This all makes a lot of sense when you speak the language quickly. The tone modification rules are really just a codification of what your mouth does naturally.

Still it's possible to make mistakes. I once said 我酒店看我們的朋友 when I had intended to say 我九點看我們的朋友. This is the difference between saying I saw our friend at nine o'clock and I saw our friend at the brothel.

My confession is that I'm better at talking about Chinese than I am at speaking it.

Edit: One last thing on morphology. Syllable construction rules are very strict and there just aren't very many sounds to begin with so yeah it's actually pretty easy to remember all possible syllables and how they're pronounced, which is a huge difference with English.

Atlas Hugged fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Oct 23, 2016

# ? Oct 23, 2016 04:08

AutumnDDP: Oct 23, 2016; Grimey Drawer

Turdsdown Tom posted:

cats wrecking your furniture is the #1 sign that you aren't capable of being a cat owner. a scratching post costs like $20. you'd pay more for all the pillows you'd have to replace after you get home and find out Buster the Dog tore up everything

You have no idea the Chaos that my cat is capable of, LOL.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 04:46

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I exaggerate, a lot. I fabricate a lot more, and I lie more than I tell the truth. I first lied to strangers, but then exaggerations in stories to my friends and family, or telling them stories about things that never happened - that they could not verify.

I meet people on online dating sites, exaggerate my abilities and attributes, but I lie about my profession, my past accomplishments and talents. Which is all good fun. Creepy and sad, but good fun.

Until I met someone that I actually really like, and have met and spoke completely honestly with, but avoiding my liar's topics. I don't want them to meet my friends, in case it all comes unraveled. When they learn that I don't do what I do professionally, that I was not a traveling xyz, that I cannot do xyz, that I have never done any of the things I said I did.

I have tried not to lie or fabricate or exaggerate, but it never lasts. It isn't as if my life isn't interesting on its own, it actually really is. But I feel like it is never enough, even when I do things to improve it. I do go to therapy, but I have exaggerated there, too, and feel that if I say that I am a compulsive liar, that they will doubt everything I said in earnest.

I need to walk away from an amazing person, that I did not think would go anywhere, because I made a stupid mistake, well lots, and can't go back on it and tell the truth. I never expect to actually meet any of these people, and drat it, I feel so loving awful. I really want this relationship, but I refuse to lie anymore. BUT I can't be honest. It is too much of a tale to back away from. And what I have told my family about them is exaggerated too, so they could never meet and actually talk.

How the gently caress do I stop lying?

quote:

I've been chatting with a transman on tinder for a bit and I really like them. That's not the confession, I'm a huge queermo. The thing is that I had a dream last night about marrying them. help

# ? Oct 23, 2016 18:09

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

My buddy owned a trans am in high school. I wouldn't marry one though, too much up keep.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 18:59

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

i'm horribly sleep deprived and wracked with grief, could i be an unreliable narrator? no its ghosts obv

# ? Oct 23, 2016 19:14

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Desperate minds don't want to let go. Sorry, grief goon, but you're either imagining it or doing these things yourself in a grief induced fugue state.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 19:18

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Why are we dismissing this ghost family theory so quickly? We could have a real life reverse Ghost Dad type situation here.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 19:28

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Lying a lot is something I used to do. IMHO the best way to stop is to talk to a therapist, it usually indicates that something else is wrong.

I didn't read that whole post btw

# ? Oct 23, 2016 20:09

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Hi guys,

I've developed a ridiculous habit stealing Lego sets whenever I take xanax. My mom gives me 1 xanax on Fridays to take the edge off the rest of the week and because she knows I like to get hosed up. I'll pop it, get drunk and for the last few months I've been going into stores to figure out how to best steal Lego. I have literally dozens of sets at this point. I don't even open them, they're just waiting for when my kids are old enough.

Thanks for listening.

quote:

Follow up on the trump tape
A big reason I can't post it comfortably is my mom is in the video a second prior to switching to trump, during the filming of trump pans back over to her then zooms in. So if I wanted to post it anonymously it would look awful with so much cut out to hide my moms identity

I realize this is just you weaseling out of being told to actually send in a nonexistent tape, but on the off-chance it's not, there are people in the media who can pixelate someone's face pretty well so I wouldn't worry about that

# ? Oct 24, 2016 13:38

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I guarantee they would blur her face if you asked them. Hell, you could probably ask for a $10k check made to "Cash."

# ? Oct 24, 2016 14:51

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Waiting for the thread to start singing "Ghost with a Boner" in unison

# ? Oct 24, 2016 14:56

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

i wish i got xanax off my mam

# ? Oct 24, 2016 15:22

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

Compulsive lying goon, I'm gonna impart unto you some pearls. Every person; every relationship online and off, need a sense of commitment. Make sure your partner knows, if nothing else, that you will always be willing to put these nuts on their chin and your needs second. Everything else comes in time.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 08:14

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I've been best friends with Jim for the past twenty years. Last year, Jim came out to me as a MtF transwoman. Cool. Whatever. Jim, or Jane now, She's still my best friend. We'll still bullshit about music, sports, etc. It'll be the same as always and I'll support her.

I have two confessions: Call me a bigot, but I truly believe that Jane decided she's trans as an answer to her body and psychological issues. Depression, insecurity, etc. Jane even told me herself that she watched a video where a transwoman said if you're depressed and insecure about your body, you're trans. She told me she *decided* she was trans. I fear that she'll complete her transition and realize it didn't solve anything because so far, it hasn't. She thinks it's going to be a magic solution. Maybe I'm bigoted. It just seems odd to me. Do you really go from not suspecting you're trans or ever wanting to be another gender overnight? I hope I'm wrong because it's too late in the process for her to realize she's wrong. Maybe I'm a bigot. I don't know. It just seems convenient but hasn't actually solved anything it was supposed to solve. She even told me she has never felt any trans feelings before that video. None.

The second is that ever since she came out as trans, she won't shut the gently caress up about micro aggressions and how she was triggered by a bathroom sign because it said "male" or how a coworker said "what's up, guys?" We used to talk about sports. Now any conversation about sports is her telling me the various racist aspects and how it's an outdated form of oppression by white males. Everything is offensive. Star Wars has Jedi *Masters* which can be offensive to people of color and thus, should be boycotted until they change it in all past and future media. Everything I say will immediately be picked apart for potential microaggressions, racism, transphobia, etc. I have to walk on egg shells to avoid being attacked.

She'a literally the strawman SJW that bigots love to conjure up. I mentioned that a customer at work had a thick accent that I couldn't understand and that they got angry with me over it. Jane said it might be subconscious racism on my part that kept me from understanding their accent and that it seems unlikely I actually couldn't understand them. Basically, I'm racist, so my brain refused to understand them. She's not aggressive about it either. It's like she thinks she's helping me overcome it.

The true confession here is she's been my best friend for years but has become such a burden that I want to stop talking to her but she's too ingrained in my life and has driven everyone else away with her bullshit and I can't imagine leaving my best friend with no one. I dont want her to kill herself but sometimes I realize my life would be easier if she did. She's in therapy. I'm not sure how she got past the psych screen though.

This is really long so if you don't post it, no problem. I just needed to shout it to anyone, even you.

I think before you go forward with the more drastic (and permanent) parts of a transition they make you get evaluated, because a lot of people who aren't actually trans absolutely do decide that they are as a response to depression or other mental issues; however, being trans can also cause depression, so it's kind of a gray area. That part's not really your business, though.

As for the rest of it, in 2010 or thereabouts I personally stopped talking to my childhood best friend because he was completely unable to talk to me without going on and on about how Obamacare was a tyrannical power grab by the crypto-fascist Kenyan usurper B. Hussein Obama and I was fuckin' sick of it, so yeah I would absolutely tell you you're under no obligation to keep hanging out with someone if they have become completely obnoxious. Don't worry about her; she's a full-grown adult. Try talking to her about it first, though, because the worst case is that she gets mad at you and doesn't want to hang out with you anymore, which is the same outcome as just stopping hanging out with her on your own.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 20:53

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

gently caress her first then tell her for maximum drama

# ? Oct 25, 2016 20:58

Squashing Machine: Jul 5, 2005; I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka

The Shmorky story is destined to happen over and over again until we defeat the great Grievance Industrial Complex

# ? Oct 25, 2016 21:42

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Squashing Machine posted:

The Shmorky story is destined to happen over and over again until we defeat the great Grievance Industrial Complex

The people who complain about this are always 100x more hypersensitive than the people they complain about

# ? Oct 25, 2016 21:43

nickhimself: Jul 16, 2007; I GIVE YOU MY INFO YOU LOG IN AND PUT IN BUILD I PAY YOU 3 BLESSINGS

It sounds like you and Jim aren't friends anymore, but neither of you have realized it.

If you want to try and salvage the relationship be very honest about your feelings. If you two can't talk it through and come to a friendly resolution, sever. You don't have to keep being her friend just because you've been friends for years. People change a lot over time, and maybe you guys just didn't change in the same ways. Sucks, but it happens.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 21:50

poorlifedecision: Feb 13, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Tell Jane that you don't appreciate her tone policing and her accusations are triggering.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 21:54

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

Jim/jane has found a new religion. Whether it's god, veganism, crossfit, ron paulitis, or being a hypersensitive aggrieved minority, this is their life now. There is no saving this relationship until they extract themselves from this pit of awfulness. You should inform them that you will be happy to be their friend again when they have decided to stop being an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 03:15

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I regret studying the career I did, it has few job openings where I live and I have spent the last 9 years doing work that I hate because there isn't any job with a good salary related to my career. I lost my last job on April and I'm having a hard time finding a new job and while my SO is paying all the bills, I hate the fact of being 100% dependable of my SO and can't live like we used to

Welcome to being a millenial :toot:

My recommendation is to look into tech. It's p much the only growth industry there is left, and while it won't be strictly related to your degree, there are plenty of people in the field in non-engineering jobs who majored in something unrelated. Look for a temporary internship as a PM or market research or copywriting or something and see if it's for you. Not your chosen field perhaps but it's Better Than Nothing^TM.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 15:07

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

My non anonymous confession is that I switched careers and absolutely hate my new one. I've only been at it 5 months, but I'm never gonna be happy with it. Not to mention I'm making less money than I did because they sort of lied about how my commissions work. I know it's too soon, but I'm seriously thinking about looking for a new job already.

The good news for me is that I work in finance and have a bunch of certifications/experience so finding something isn't too hard.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 15:12

Indolent Bastard: Oct 26, 2007; I WON THIS AMAZING AVATAR! I'M A WINNER! WOOOOO!

loquacius posted:

Welcome to being a millenial

My recommendation is to look into tech. It's p much the only growth industry there is left, and while it won't be strictly related to your degree, there are plenty of people in the field in non-engineering jobs who majored in something unrelated. Look for a temporary internship as a PM or market research or copywriting or something and see if it's for you. Not your chosen field perhaps but it's Better Than Nothing^TM.

My recommendation is move to where the work is. Too many people applying for that specialized position in a major city? Try applying EVERYWHERE, that same job is struggling to find candidates in the far flung reaches of the sub-arctic and in the middle of nowhere in the prairies (actual examples of places I applied and eventually worked).

# ? Oct 26, 2016 15:31

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Solice Kirsk posted:

My non anonymous confession is that I switched careers and absolutely hate my new one. I've only been at it 5 months, but I'm never gonna be happy with it. Not to mention I'm making less money than I did because they sort of lied about how my commissions work. I know it's too soon, but I'm seriously thinking about looking for a new job already.

The good news for me is that I work in finance and have a bunch of certifications/experience so finding something isn't too hard.

if you hate it and can move easily why bother waiting?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 15:35

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I think it will look bad in interviews mostly.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 15:38

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# ? May 10, 2024 08:40

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

loquacius posted:

Welcome to being a millenial

My recommendation is to look into tech. It's p much the only growth industry there is left, and while it won't be strictly related to your degree, there are plenty of people in the field in non-engineering jobs who majored in something unrelated. Look for a temporary internship as a PM or market research or copywriting or something and see if it's for you. Not your chosen field perhaps but it's Better Than Nothing^TM.

Or the medical field ; I've seen a lot of people become RNs after their initial career prospects didn't pan out. I feel like the medical field would also be less volatile than tech as well.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 15:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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