Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Indolent Bastard posted:

My recommendation is move to where the work is. Too many people applying for that specialized position in a major city? Try applying EVERYWHERE, that same job is struggling to find candidates in the far flung reaches of the sub-arctic and in the middle of nowhere in the prairies (actual examples of places I applied and eventually worked).

Yeah definitely this, but if you live with your SO make sure you clear it with them first -- first the idea of moving in the abstract, and then the idea of moving to a location where a specific job is.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I think it will look bad in interviews mostly.

You can explain it away -- "I wanted to try this field, but it wasn't for me." I'd understand if you wanted to wait until the six-month mark, though.

Panfilo posted:

Or the medical field ; I've seen a lot of people become RNs after their initial career prospects didn't pan out. I feel like the medical field would also be less volatile than tech as well.

Tech isn't all startups :colbert:

But yeah medical is a possibility too; hospitals even need tech workers a lot of the time.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 15:51

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# ? May 10, 2024 21:44

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

loquacius posted:

Trans

People totally talk themselves into crazy poo poo cause of sadbrains.

I had a friend's soon to be ex-husband suddenly drop the "I want to be a woman" in therapy and knowing his story there's 0% he actually thinks this is the case. He has it in his head that his wife has it easier than him cause she's a woman, not even thinking for a second cause he's a whiny oval office who never tries. He thinks if he's a woman he'll get showered with attention like she does. He somehow glosses over the bit of crap she gets for being a woman that comes with this.

I was personally insulted when this meant in his mind she's in charge now cause he's "now the woman in the relationship" and should make all the decisions and tell him what to do as that's his role now.

I'll be glad when I don't have to hear about his busted rear end anymore.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 16:38

Stunt_enby: Feb 6, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

LethalGeek posted:

People totally talk themselves into crazy poo poo cause of sadbrains.

I had a friend's soon to be ex-husband suddenly drop the "I want to be a woman" in therapy and knowing his story there's 0% he actually thinks this is the case. He has it in his head that his wife has it easier than him cause she's a woman, not even thinking for a second cause he's a whiny oval office who never tries. He thinks if he's a woman he'll get showered with attention like she does. He somehow glosses over the bit of crap she gets for being a woman that comes with this.

I was personally insulted when this meant in his mind she's in charge now cause he's "now the woman in the relationship" and should make all the decisions and tell him what to do as that's his role now.

I'll be glad when I don't have to hear about his busted rear end anymore.

drat, with how good you are at diagnosing brain problems and their legitimacy based off your uninformed outsider opinion maybe you should be a therapist?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 16:45

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

The whole thing lasted a week before he dropped it for his next half baked idea cause the dude is beyond hosed. She nor the therapist believed it either.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 16:54

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; Buglord

loquacius posted:

Welcome to being a millenial

My recommendation is to look into tech. It's p much the only growth industry there is left, and while it won't be strictly related to your degree, there are plenty of people in the field in non-engineering jobs who majored in something unrelated. Look for a temporary internship as a PM or market research or copywriting or something and see if it's for you. Not your chosen field perhaps but it's Better Than Nothing^TM.

Green energy is a fast frowing industry as well

# ? Oct 26, 2016 16:57

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

nickhimself posted:

People change a lot over time, and maybe you guys

Just wait until Jane sees this.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 17:01

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Started applying for other jobs! Thanks thread!

# ? Oct 27, 2016 14:07

Sex Falcon: Jun 4, 2013

LethalGeek posted:

People totally talk themselves into crazy poo poo cause of sadbrains.

I had a friend's soon to be ex-husband suddenly drop the "I want to be a woman" in therapy and knowing his story there's 0% he actually thinks this is the case. He has it in his head that his wife has it easier than him cause she's a woman, not even thinking for a second cause he's a whiny oval office who never tries. He thinks if he's a woman he'll get showered with attention like she does. He somehow glosses over the bit of crap she gets for being a woman that comes with this.

I was personally insulted when this meant in his mind she's in charge now cause he's "now the woman in the relationship" and should make all the decisions and tell him what to do as that's his role now.

I'll be glad when I don't have to hear about his busted rear end anymore.

dude sounds he might be a huge baby rather than trans, hth

# ? Oct 27, 2016 14:40

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

this is really going to be like a bunch of confessions in one, but I'll start with an incident which happened last night since it's what spurred me into writing this all out.

I was driving around pretty late last night, sort of aimlessly and found myself in the parking lot of the el super when a mexican guy jumps out in front of my vehicle. I was traveling about five to ten miles per hour and hit him directly, but it was 100% avoidable and as I said he basically jumped out in front of the truck. he's laying on the ground, rolling back and forth and groaning in pain, but when I stopped the truck and got out he basically jumped straight up as soon as I approached him and saying in spanglish that he was going to sue me and this and that. at this point I directed his attention to the dash cam on a suction cup on the windshield of my truck and called him a loving idiot and told him that I was calling the police.

he tried for a brief moment to convince me not to call the cops, that they would arrest me for running him over, that he would be doing me a favor if I gave him whatever cash I had on me so he could let me go, etc. but I shut that poo poo down really quick, explaining that I have him on video and that even though I'm hispanic, I'm white and I speak English so after the cops came he would basically be hosed.

so now the guy realized he messed up and is begging me not to call the cops, and tells me that now HE will give ME five dollars (or maybe ten, I don't remember) if I just leave. I was not having the best day and this guy was starting to piss me off, so I tell him half-jokingly that if he gives me
all the money in his wallet that I'll let him go. the guy says no, that the money in his wallet is all the money he has in the whole world and he can't give all of it to me but he can settle for twenty bucks and I'm thinking about how behind I am on the rent that's due next thursday (I'm a recovering heroin addict btw and super behind on bills due to loans and etc. I took out while I was strung out last year) and this is when the lightbulb popped up over my head.

at this point i pulled out the smith and wesson model 36 chief's special that I had lodged in between the center console and driver's seat of my truck, pointed it at the paisa dude and said for him to give me all of his money anyway, which he promptly did, plus his phone too and his hat (I didn't want either but I'm kind of a dick). I made a little less than $250 off of him. I don't feel bad at all and furthermore I think he kind of deserved it for trying to scam me; it's not like I'm made of money and i work hard all day and am really struggling with sobriety and am still a couple hundred bucks more short on the rent. that's not why I did it,
though.

I guess the confession that I'm trying to make here is that I really really love pointing my gun at people. I've carried the snubby every single day for the last three or four years that I've had it and I must have pointed it at like two dozen or so people. it feels really good to hold in my hand/hands; I have a few guns but this one's my favorite and the only one I've threatened anyone with. it's blued steel with dark, walnut grips and a black Tyler t-grip extension. there are many like it, but this one is mine.

after a stunt I pulled last year I'm a lot more confident/brazen and I don't think I'll ever get caught and I hope
I never will so I can keep pointing my gun at people. as I said I'm a recovering addict, but THIS is my favorite high in the whole world; it's seriously such a loving rush, it's loving incredible.

but anyway yeah last year I was really loving dopesick and desperate so I held up a local bank branch and made $11,000. the snubby is what i pointed at the teller since i decided it's good luck now but I also had a .22 pistol with a super duper extended magazine stuffed in my jacket in case of a shootout with police; I heard Israel Keyes did this when he robbed banks and he's kind of my idol. I mean, I don't condone violence against women in any way AT ALL but I really look up to the methodical approach he took to his crimes, especially the robberies. anyway I'm not into hurting people and i actually haven't robbed any other banks since then although I have robbed a poo poo load of liquor stores in three different states.

but yeah, I was really glad to run into that guy last night since it's kind of been a while since I got my "fix." a few months ago this girl I was seeing had a job delivering drugs to the end-users for this guy whose father-in-law was hooked up with the cartel. every few weeks she'd take me along to try and collect from everybody who owed since she knew how much I loved pointing my gun at people, and the boss was happy too since he didn't pay her to collect from those people anyway so it was like a win-win for both of us.

tl;dr: i'm addicted to sticking my .38 special snub nose pistol in people's faces and watching them get hella scared and panic and give me all their money

quote:

I get much more joy and pleasure from making really loud sex sounds, than actual physical pleasure. I like it that way.

# ? Oct 31, 2016 15:10

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

gun addict goon has a few screws loose and will probably gently caress up or hurt somebody before long

# ? Oct 31, 2016 16:07

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

hurry up and get arrested gun nut goon, before you hurt someone or get your rear end shot up during your recreational armed robbery fetish.

# ? Oct 31, 2016 17:19

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

Bud K ninja sword posted:

hurry up and get arrested gun nut goon, before you hurt someone or get your rear end shot up during your recreational armed robbery fetish.

The weird spacing is a big tell that it's a fake as poo poo copy paste job.

# ? Oct 31, 2016 17:25

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

quote:

I get much more joy and pleasure from making really loud sex sounds, than actual physical pleasure. I like it that way.

I hate loud sex sounds. It's very distracting and honestly I sometimes think the girl is being patronizing when they go all out over everything I'm doing. Just breathe my name and bite your lip a little you drama queen.....GOD!

# ? Oct 31, 2016 18:30

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Improbable Lobster posted:

Green energy is a fast frowing industry as well

Not solar on houses, though. That field is super crowded and currently taking a big poo poo.

# ? Oct 31, 2016 19:17

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

i wish i had the magic remote from Click just so i could shove it down Adam Saddler's rear end

# ? Oct 31, 2016 19:33

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

Putty posted:

i wish i had the magic remote from Click just so i could shove it down Adam Saddler's rear end

Weird this is also my non-anon confession.

# ? Oct 31, 2016 22:48

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

DOWN his rear end? Up I'd get, but this?

# ? Nov 1, 2016 00:19

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

lemon-lyme disease posted:

DOWN his rear end? Up I'd get, but this?

normal people have their assholes located on the lower part of their body rather than the top

# ? Nov 1, 2016 01:18

Fenarisk: Oct 27, 2005

Panfilo posted:

Or the medical field ; I've seen a lot of people become RNs after their initial career prospects didn't pan out. I feel like the medical field would also be less volatile than tech as well.

This. Medical is growing at an insane rate, not enough people to fill job openings, paying around 50-60k a year with just a two year degree, with actual benefits and sensible hours/no commison.

# ? Nov 1, 2016 01:43

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Well, it's finally happening. The meme I forged has gone off the charts and is one of the most popular memes ever. theres just one problem. Like all excellent memes and everything remotely good or funny it has been BANNED from something awful by the moderators. as a result, I can't get laid anymore. Its absolutely loving ridiculous and I'm steamed like a clam over it. I'm fuming.

a message from Mr Harambe himself

# ? Nov 1, 2016 02:56

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Putty posted:

normal people have their assholes located on the lower part of their body rather than the top

Stop shoving your body norms up my throat.

# ? Nov 1, 2016 03:12

Fucked-Up Little Dog: Aug 26, 2008; Posting live from the nightmare future of Web 3.0; Scratchmo

loquacius posted:

I won't sugarcoat this - I believe my wife and son's ghosts are trapped an unable to pass on to whatever comes next. I don't believe in much of anything, but I am convinced of this. Little things she used to do are being done in my house. She used to drink milk out of the carton and leave some lipstick behind, and I'm finding lipstick on my milk cartons again. My son was starting to play with duplos, and I'm finding duplos in the yard every time I cut the grass. There's more, but those are the 2 I absolutely cannot explain.

As I said before, I don't believe in much. I don't think there's some magic guy in a collared shirt that can help me, and I don't think prayers or a book of parables or anything like that will help.

So I have no idea what to do, and I hope my family can just pass on to the next thing soon. Because I'm feeling like I'm losing them all over again.

I think it's actually the ghost of the pickup driver getting his revenge

# ? Nov 1, 2016 08:58

fuckingtest: Mar 31, 2001; Just evolving, you know?
Right Here, Right Now.

loquacius posted:

I exaggerate, a lot. I fabricate a lot more, and I lie more than I tell the truth. I first lied to strangers, but then exaggerations in stories to my friends and family, or telling them stories about things that never happened - that they could not verify.

I meet people on online dating sites, exaggerate my abilities and attributes, but I lie about my profession, my past accomplishments and talents. Which is all good fun. Creepy and sad, but good fun.

Until I met someone that I actually really like, and have met and spoke completely honestly with, but avoiding my liar's topics. I don't want them to meet my friends, in case it all comes unraveled. When they learn that I don't do what I do professionally, that I was not a traveling xyz, that I cannot do xyz, that I have never done any of the things I said I did.

I have tried not to lie or fabricate or exaggerate, but it never lasts. It isn't as if my life isn't interesting on its own, it actually really is. But I feel like it is never enough, even when I do things to improve it. I do go to therapy, but I have exaggerated there, too, and feel that if I say that I am a compulsive liar, that they will doubt everything I said in earnest.

I need to walk away from an amazing person, that I did not think would go anywhere, because I made a stupid mistake, well lots, and can't go back on it and tell the truth. I never expect to actually meet any of these people, and drat it, I feel so loving awful. I really want this relationship, but I refuse to lie anymore. BUT I can't be honest. It is too much of a tale to back away from. And what I have told my family about them is exaggerated too, so they could never meet and actually talk.

How the gently caress do I stop lying?

Get a little book. Write down lies. Name of person, subject, what you said briefly. Do this before going to bed. Re-read what you just wrote. After a few weeks of this, see if your lying becomes more controlled. When you feel a lie coming on, think of the last one you wrote down the night before. This doesn't work for everyone, oh and BTW I made it all up, oh and I may be a compulsive liar.

# ? Nov 1, 2016 21:05

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

loquacius posted:

a message from Mr Harambe himself

Why does a meme not appearing on SA mean they can't get laid? This story makes no sense so I have serious questions about it's veracity.

# ? Nov 1, 2016 21:46

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

drad_bert used to get all the curvy goonnettes before his sick meme was banned

# ? Nov 1, 2016 21:47

8 Ball: Nov 27, 2010; My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.

quote:

this is really going to be like a bunch of confessions in one, but I'll start with an incident which happened last night since it's what spurred me into writing this all out.

I was driving around pretty late last night, sort of aimlessly and found myself in the parking lot of the el super when a mexican guy jumps out in front of my vehicle. I was traveling about five to ten miles per hour and hit him directly, but it was 100% avoidable and as I said he basically jumped out in front of the truck. he's laying on the ground, rolling back and forth and groaning in pain, but when I stopped the truck and got out he basically jumped straight up as soon as I approached him and saying in spanglish that he was going to sue me and this and that. at this point I directed his attention to the dash cam on a suction cup on the windshield of my truck and called him a loving idiot and told him that I was calling the police.

he tried for a brief moment to convince me not to call the cops, that they would arrest me for running him over, that he would be doing me a favor if I gave him whatever cash I had on me so he could let me go, etc. but I shut that poo poo down really quick, explaining that I have him on video and that even though I'm hispanic, I'm white and I speak English so after the cops came he would basically be hosed.

so now the guy realized he messed up and is begging me not to call the cops, and tells me that now HE will give ME five dollars (or maybe ten, I don't remember) if I just leave. I was not having the best day and this guy was starting to piss me off, so I tell him half-jokingly that if he gives me
all the money in his wallet that I'll let him go. the guy says no, that the money in his wallet is all the money he has in the whole world and he can't give all of it to me but he can settle for twenty bucks and I'm thinking about how behind I am on the rent that's due next thursday (I'm a recovering heroin addict btw and super behind on bills due to loans and etc. I took out while I was strung out last year) and this is when the lightbulb popped up over my head.

at this point i pulled out the smith and wesson model 36 chief's special that I had lodged in between the center console and driver's seat of my truck, pointed it at the paisa dude and said for him to give me all of his money anyway, which he promptly did, plus his phone too and his hat (I didn't want either but I'm kind of a dick). I made a little less than $250 off of him. I don't feel bad at all and furthermore I think he kind of deserved it for trying to scam me; it's not like I'm made of money and i work hard all day and am really struggling with sobriety and am still a couple hundred bucks more short on the rent. that's not why I did it,
though.

I guess the confession that I'm trying to make here is that I really really love pointing my gun at people. I've carried the snubby every single day for the last three or four years that I've had it and I must have pointed it at like two dozen or so people. it feels really good to hold in my hand/hands; I have a few guns but this one's my favorite and the only one I've threatened anyone with. it's blued steel with dark, walnut grips and a black Tyler t-grip extension. there are many like it, but this one is mine.

after a stunt I pulled last year I'm a lot more confident/brazen and I don't think I'll ever get caught and I hope
I never will so I can keep pointing my gun at people. as I said I'm a recovering addict, but THIS is my favorite high in the whole world; it's seriously such a loving rush, it's loving incredible.

but anyway yeah last year I was really loving dopesick and desperate so I held up a local bank branch and made $11,000. the snubby is what i pointed at the teller since i decided it's good luck now but I also had a .22 pistol with a super duper extended magazine stuffed in my jacket in case of a shootout with police; I heard Israel Keyes did this when he robbed banks and he's kind of my idol. I mean, I don't condone violence against women in any way AT ALL but I really look up to the methodical approach he took to his crimes, especially the robberies. anyway I'm not into hurting people and i actually haven't robbed any other banks since then although I have robbed a poo poo load of liquor stores in three different states.

but yeah, I was really glad to run into that guy last night since it's kind of been a while since I got my "fix." a few months ago this girl I was seeing had a job delivering drugs to the end-users for this guy whose father-in-law was hooked up with the cartel. every few weeks she'd take me along to try and collect from everybody who owed since she knew how much I loved pointing my gun at people, and the boss was happy too since he didn't pay her to collect from those people anyway so it was like a win-win for both of us.

tl;dr: i'm addicted to sticking my .38 special snub nose pistol in people's faces and watching them get hella scared and panic and give me all their money

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk46mMEQrbw

# ? Nov 2, 2016 15:51

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I've got a soap-opera novel of a confession for you guys today. The subject line suggested breaking it up into sections because it's really long, but I'm not sure how much that would really help, so instead I'm just posting it by itself. It's another one of those that are a good read even if the poster seems to remember things in more detail than seems likely to me. I'd recommend it.

quote:

To start, I am a 40-something man who was married young and for 12 years to a worthless, piece of poo poo, chemical and alcohol dependent whore-bag of an ex-wife, who finally decided to end it about 6 years ago. When we were younger, we mutually agreed that I would start a career first (since I was done with school), she'd get her degree, and once we had a good, solid foundation we would buy a house and she would start her career, while I would run a business from home. First part went great, I have a good job with a decent salary. She starts going to college, and is doing so well she applies at a good uni for nursing, possibly registered nurse/or nurse practitioner. We use my savings, and part of a wedding gift to purchase a home.

At the time, I've been working for 5 years since she had decided to stay at her job an extra year after finishing her 2-year college (call center, flexible hours). So like an idiot I borrowed $9k from my 401k for her to go to Uni the following year. She starts classes, is doing well but I notice she comes home super tired from "late-night" classes. I mean, I know there are evening classes and there are daytime classes, but she tells me she's doing both in an accelerated program. One day I get a letter from her Uni stating that they are terminating her classes for the year for "no attendance" I call her and she is supposedly at her moms. She doesn't pick up, and I leave her a message asking her if she knows about this. She get's home about a half hour later, and I confront her demanding to know "What's going on?" and she's steaming mad, screaming at me about how the school hosed up, she's been in classes, she's been going, etc. I ask her again, "What's going on?"

She breaks down crying and admits to me that she stopped going to classes a month ago, because it was "too hard" and she's been hanging out with two other women who stopped going for the same reasons. One of them is a 20-something rich-girl who is dumb as a bag of rocks, and the other is a 40-something gold-digger who was "forced" into the school due her rich husband demanding it since she was at home blowing all his money on bullshit. I go apeshit, and yell at her about the 401k money being gone, after I had to pay a penalty to pull it out, how could she be so stupid!? Yadda yadda yadda. She cries and begs for forgiveness, promises to pay "me" back. I tell her it's our money, not "mine" and that she just needs to figure out what to do with her life since the nursing thing doesn't seem to be for her.

After much angry yelling (mostly me) she agrees to return to her college and get her teaching degree. She says her mom will help pay for it, but then two weeks later we find out she's pregnant. "Gulp."

We decided to put her career plans on pause, and have our first child. Things are good, and I figure she'll return to school after 1-to-2 years to focus on completing her education. After all, I agreed to take care of the baby and work on my home business when she started working, but we can make it work. Right? So 1 year becomes 2, 2 becomes 3, 3 becomes 4, etc. By the time my child is 5 I�ve started to get antsy. (Side note: I come from immigrant parents, both my sister and I were taught from an early age that education and hard work are as important as breathing) I ask her, "What are your plans for the future?" She responds, "I don't know...I want to teach, help people" I tell her, "Maybe you should go back to school, and start teaching?" "But what about the baby?"

I tell her the child is 5, she needs to start school in the upcoming year. She flat out refuses, stating that she wants to homeschool. I balk at the suggestion, and state that she is not a teacher, and my kid is going to school in a classroom. (She argues with me constantly about public schools vs. charter schools) and flips her lid when I suggest public school (A highly rated one is a mile down the road). I tell her she's crazy, and that's when she grabs a knife and threatens to stab me. I'm shocked...Ive never been in that situation. Somehow, I know this isn't a joke. I talk to her softly, and she calms down, drops the knife, and we end up on the ground hugging and crying. She starts to see a psychiatrist, and he puts her on klonopin, and Prozac.

My kid is enrolled in public school, and a year goes by with her still sitting idly. Now someone reading this may be thinking, "But she's a housewife, right?" No. She literally would sit at home reading books, watching television, and smoking cigarettes. I would come home around 7 pm, after picking up my kid from her Grandmothers , since she was too busy "doing" whatever she was doing to prevent her from school. We would fight constantly, but I always tried to keep it to a minimum because of the child. Another year rolls by. Now she stays home, drinks wine, reads, smokes, and forgets to get my daughter from school. My child's teachers begin to worry when they find her asleep on a bench inside the school. She tells me she "accidentally" took a xanax from her mother (oh, did I mention her mother is on every med imaginable?) and she dozed off. Later I find that she has this, and other drugs on her.

About two weeks after this incident, I wake up to an empty bed and find that she snuck out somewhere. This isn't the first time I�ve woken up to her leaving the bed, and she'd say things like, "I�m just going outside for a smoke" or "I'm going to get some cigs at the 24-hour store" but she'd usually be back in 20 minutes or so. This time I sat up for almost three hours waiting. She slithered into the room and gave me some BS about giving her waitress friend who was stuck in the rain a ride home. In her drunken stupor, she wasn't making sense and I was too tired to fight. Two days later same thing. Although this time, I jumped in the car and drove to the local bar to find her outside plastered and wildly flailing about.

I started talking to her and she became combative, almost to the point of smashing a beer on my head. Cops were called, I went home, she showed up at 5:00 A.M. walked in the house, and slammed head first into the shower door, spraying broken glass all over the floor. I showered in my kids bath, and took my daughter to school and then drive to work. Around 10 A.M. I get a text about someone banging on the front door from a neighbor. I politely ask her to look out her window and describe the person. She states, "Skinny guy, cropped hair, tattoos." I call my wife, who answers panicked stating there is a crazy guy outside banging on the door. I call the police on my work phone and they send the first of many future police cars to my house.

I arrive shortly after, and it turns out that the man banging on the door was my wife's "waitress" friends boyfriend/pimp/meth dealer. She (the waitress) had given the address to her other friend to come over and he had gotten the info from her (probably by beatdown). I asked if I was on a candid camera/jerry springer crossover? My wife apologized profusely and i gave her the bitching of a lifetime. She has a young child, the guy was banging on the door at 10:00 A.M. yelling obscenities at the top of his lungs. The fact that he left before any more serious events occurred was nil on the list of bad poo poo compared to her idiocy. I told her, �last straw� if you pull some dumb poo poo like this again, I�m gone.

A week goes by, things are stable. She wants to have dinner at a local sports bar. We take my kid and sit down in a booth. She says she�s going to the bathroom. 10 minutes go by, then 20. I take my daughter and tell the waitress we are going to the bathrooms. She�s nowhere to be found around the restroom area. I even crack the door and yell her name. Nothing. I angrily sit down and order some food. Food arrives, and we eat. She shows up almost ten minutes later, saying there was a problem in the bathroom and that she pissed herself and had to run out to get a pair of panties from the house. I just stare. Nothing is said between us for the next 15 minutes. I pay the bill and we leave. When we get home, I put my daughter to bed and we go at it. First off, I ask how did she get home. She says she walked. I ask her why all the lights were off like we left them. �I turned them all off again� I ask her where the peed on panties are. She stammers, �I threw them away on the way home� I demand the pissed on panties. �Go find them you lying bitch!� I scream at her. She screams, �Seriously? You want me to go out in the dark to look for some panties with piss on them?� I laugh, and tell her how absurd it sounds, like her made up story about walking a mile and a half home in 30 minutes, and tossing out pissed on panties on the way there. She looks at me and screams, �You want pissed on panties!?� �HERE!�

She pisses on herself, and I just shake my head and laugh. �I�m leaving� I say. I walk out the door, and climb in my car and drive away. I return because I get an angry call from her mother saying that she dropped off my kid at her house around 10 pm because �I was still at work� and I drive to her house and pick my kid up. I return home to find things are trashed about, like she flipped out and started knocking things over. I put my kid to bed and go lay on the couch. I wake up exhausted around 3:00 A.M. because she�s banging on the door. I open it, and she tells me that I am a piece of poo poo, rear end in a top hat, etc. She�s extremely drunk, and I lead her to the couch and lay her down. I don�t even ask. I just try to go back to sleep, then get up, get the kid ready for school, and go home after the drop off to find her gone.

I head to the office, and get a phone call from her mom around 9:30 A.M. She called because she�s missing her visa card and she was wondering if I had used it or knew anything about it. I tell her it�s most likely her daughter. She says she�ll call me back. My wife calls me at 1:00 pm crying, and apologizing. I hang up on her. I can�t deal with her bullshit on the job.

After work, I pick up my kid from my moms, (this has become routine) and drive home. I arrive to find her passed out on the living room couch. I rouse her (after putting the kid in front of the tv in the bedroom) and she�s wasted. I tell her she needs help, and she says �I know�. I plan on getting her into an inpatient program for alocoholics/drug dependency but it�s going to be expensive (Why doesn�t insurance cover this?) So I borrow from the house and she enrolls in a program and agrees to complete it. I tell her it�s this, or the marriage.

After two weeks, she�s doing great. Week 3 is when she�s allowed to visit friends and family for a couple of hours. We plan a lunch at her moms. We all go and everyone is so happy and it�s a really positive atmosphere. We have a great time and I drive her back to the rehab center. Looking back I know now that using a local rehab clinic was a mistake. Putting people who are addicts near their sources/enablers is almost always bad. While we were having lunch, she used her moms phone to contact a guy named Chris, who was one of her hookups for meth. I know this because everything was explained later that evening.

On the way back to the clinic, she asks if we can stop at the 7-eleven so she can get a slurpee. I stop and ask her what flavor, and she says coke or cherry. I was so relaxed because of the evening I didn�t notice that she wanted to stay in the car. I bring her slurpee and sit down in the car with her. We start heading back and she starts commenting on the slurpee making her nauseous. She starts hacking, and telling me to pull over. I stop next to a burger king and she jumps out and runs for the bathroom.

I chase after her, and she runs into the ladies room. I wait outside asking her if she�s ok. She comes out about five minutes later with a glazed look of an addict. I ask her what happened, and she says she threw up and she feels �much better� I grab her purse, and dump it on the floor of the bk. Everything falls to the floor, including a glass pipe that breaks all over the floor. She screams �NO!� as she tumbles to the ground and scrambles to grab the pieces. The BK manager walks from behind the counter and asks if everything is ok. I tell him �yeah, I just dropped her purse� he sighs and walks away. I grab her and drag her outside to the car, she�s screaming at me, as people inside the restaurant just stare.

We get back in the car and she starts pleading with me not to tell the center what I found. I tell her, �You�re going back, and I�m telling them everything!� She pleads and pleads, and I tell her she�s crazy. She growls at me and grabs the steering wheel, swerving the car to the right violently in traffic. I swerve to avoid the trees alongside the road and recover control. I push her away, and she tries to hit me. I slam on the brakes, and she is whipped back to her seat. I put the car in park, grab the keys and call the police. She sits in the car and screams, banging on the windows with her fists. The police arrive quickly, because I told them she was on drugs and �suicidal�.

I start giving details as they tell me she�s going to be committed for 24 hours and that she�s also being arrested for meth possession. I explain the rehab center, the visit, and our lunch. The cops tell me she used her mothers cellphone to contact a dealer and that�s where she got the meth. The money was taken from her mothers purse. She stopped at the 7-eleven, jumped out and got the drugs from the guy who was waiting in the parking lot. She smoked it in the restroom at BK, and the rest is history. I was beyond pissed. I�m here helping her out, taking her to her moms after she�s been in rehab for two weeks. I�ve had enough. I�m done. Like, really done. I go back to her mothers and explain what happened. Take my kid home. Start preparing to get my stuff and my kid out of the house.

She gets out of the psych ward and calls me apologizing profusely. She tells me that they removed her from the program, but they will let her back in if she�s clean for a week. I don�t care. I�m done. I tell her I�m moving out with our child and filing divorce papers. She begs and pleads to give her another chance. I start to falter�I tell her she can have 1 more chance if she agrees to tell me everything about the drugs and the bullshit lies she�s been feeding me.

She agrees. She comes over after what I assumed was a ride with her mother. I see the car, and it�s not her mom�s car. I ask her to start talking. She starts by saying that she started doing meth with her friends when she was hanging out at the bar, but admits to doing cocaine with her nursing school dropouts once or twice. I�m angry, and she continues explaining that she felt like her youth was running away from her, and that she had to party because �all you do is smoke weed sometimes and drink beer� Seriously? I told her that my �indulgence� in marijuana and beer was for relaxation, and that what she was doing was self-destructive.

She began crying and saying I know, I know. I asked her if she was high right now. She said yes. I asked her who she smoked with and she said the guy in the car that dropped her off. Wham. Just like that. I asked her if she had ever slept with anyone else for drugs. She said yes. Double Whammy. I asked her if the guy in the car was a partner of hers�She said yes. Wow, this is turning into a great night I thought. I ask her what she thinks of me, our marriage? What she thinks of being a mom?

She says she still loves me, and the baby. I tell her she�s become a whore. She sobs, and says she wants to try again. I tell her to get hosed. I�m so angry�I can�t even see straight. I want to strangle her, beat her, hurt her. I wish we had never met. So much wasted potential�I think of my kid having no mother. I calm down. I say �No. I�m leaving with our child.� She starts wailing, screaming, begging. I stand up and start to walk out. She jumps up and grabs me pulling on me, dragging behind me. I grab her arms and toss her away from me. She lays on the floor, crying.

I get in my car and drive away. I take my kid to my parents and meet a friend at the bar where I pour out my emotions over beers. He tells me it�s gonna be ok. I return to my parents spare room about 1:00 AM. My clothes are in hefty bags on the floor, along with my kids. My cellphone buzzes, and I look down. It�s my wife�s mother. I pick up and she�s sobbing. �She killed herself�because of you!�

The phone cuts off�My mind is racing. I call back and there�s no answer. I sit in the dark room on the floor listening to my heartbeat. The police later that after I left my ex-wife grabbed a handful of Xanax and oxycotins and swallowed them. She filled the bathtub with water, and drowned herself.

Oh, that previous part about me walking out with dragging behind me? Bullshit. I asked for her stash. I She gave it to me and I told her she was a worthless, ugly, useless human being. I told her she should take her drugs, one by one. I watched her swallow each pill. Then I walked her to the bathroom, told her to get naked, and sat her in the tub. I filled it with water. I watched her start to get woozy. I left. I was shaking.

I've never told this to anyone. I played the sap, the grieving widower. She deserved death after all the bullshit and lies she put me through. I hope that ghosts exist so she knows that I�m laughing at her. The house is mine, the baby is mine, the insurance money is mine (suicide is not a cause for denial of a claim, look it up) and she drank, smoked, and hosed her way to an early grave.

that twist ending :eyepop:

# ? Nov 2, 2016 16:05

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Nice, that's the good stuff

# ? Nov 2, 2016 16:34

free basket of chips: Sep 7, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Oh poo poo

# ? Nov 2, 2016 16:41

Arkanomen: May 6, 2007; All he wants is a hug

That's...wow.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 17:00

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

fuckingtest posted:

Get a little book. Write down lies. Name of person, subject, what you said briefly. Do this before going to bed. Re-read what you just wrote. After a few weeks of this, see if your lying becomes more controlled. When you feel a lie coming on, think of the last one you wrote down the night before. This doesn't work for everyone, oh and BTW I made it all up, oh and I may be a compulsive liar.

Hey now, this isn't the place for good advice.

Non-anonymous confession:
I used to exaggerate a lot as a kid. Never lie, really, but embellish on things that would be hard to disprove. I started journaling and drawing every day and realized that my embellishments weren't to try and impress anyone, it was a creative part of my brain that was starved for attention.

Now I never feel like I have to lie for any reason and my life has been better for it.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 17:11

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

The twist ending was a fantasy. She's actually shacked up with the meth dude and doesn't give a gently caress.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 17:14

Speleothing: May 6, 2008; Spare batteries are pretty key.

Pretty ballsy to leave before it was over. What if she'd made it out.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 17:26

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Probably one of those things where if she makes it out, great, if she doesnt, great.

Crazy story though.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 17:47

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Hoo boy.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 19:26

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Thats a spicee meatball :eyepop:

# ? Nov 2, 2016 19:58

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

I don't get it. Drugs are bad?

# ? Nov 2, 2016 20:13

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Now that's a confession! Have you started dating again?

# ? Nov 2, 2016 20:38

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Jastiger posted:

Probably one of those things where if she makes it out, great, if she doesnt, great.

Crazy story though.

Jastiger two thoughts: 1)where have you been and 2) whats the story with those cops getting shot in Des Moines?

# ? Nov 2, 2016 20:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 21:44

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Captain Yossarian posted:

Jastiger two thoughts: 1)where have you been and 2) whats the story with those cops getting shot in Des Moines?

I've been around, man. Mostly in Games lately.

The guy was a South lover who liked waving the confederate flag at black people. The loving South ruins everything and is trying to hurt my town and I'm mad about it.

Hopefully the guy they got is the right guy and he is brought to trial. Its a sad day here today

# ? Nov 2, 2016 20:43

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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