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Data Graham posted:Yeah I mean UDP isn't unidirectional, it's just not-guaranteed-delivery I'd tell you a UDP joke, but I'm not sure you'd get it ......
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Nov 4, 2016 04:02
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Kazinsal posted:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echo_Protocol Ok, I'll just tell him to set up echo protocol on the specific port, and I'm 99% sure I'll never hear back from him. Do you want to hear a TCP joke?
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Nov 4, 2016 04:04
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spankmeister posted:IT sec is a good gig, EXCEPT endpoint security. Antivirus is a joke. Welp that's my $0.02 They wanted me to manage Forescout, which I honestly understand but couldn't give a gently caress about, plus I wouldn't be the lead. If I go the other way with networking as I have now chosen, I get to be the SME on my poo poo and move up from there. Said boss who gave me the choice seemed somewhat devastated but respectful, anyway.
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Nov 4, 2016 04:11
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:
I see what you're doing there. Yes.
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Nov 4, 2016 04:59
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Muppet Rabies posted:I see what you're doing there. OK. This is the jokes.
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Nov 4, 2016 05:03
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flosofl posted:OK. Haha has I just got it
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Nov 4, 2016 05:07
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Muppet Rabies posted:Haha has I just got it Ok, I'm going to tell you the first part of the TCP Joke, are you ready?
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Nov 4, 2016 06:28
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You didn't respond in time. Do you want to hear a TCP joke? Edit: I'm going to stop here because this could go on for a long time.
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Nov 4, 2016 06:38
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:You didn't respond in time. Pssht, piffle. Yes I would like to hear a TCP joke. Would you like to tell me a TCP joke?
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Nov 4, 2016 07:25
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KoRMaK posted:I had a failing power supply that would emit a high pitch squeal when under stress in a computer and it was funny/interesting to see who gave a poo poo and who didn't. Under 25 and they were onto it, the old dudes that were 35+ didnt even notice. I once identified a server that was about to go tits-up because its power supply (non-redundant, this wasn't exactly a professional operation) sounded like it was screaming. None of my co-workers could hear it, and when it died half an hour later I looked like a loving psychic.
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Nov 4, 2016 10:28
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DigitalRaven posted:I once identified a server that was about to go tits-up because its power supply (non-redundant, this wasn't exactly a professional operation) sounded like it was screaming. None of my co-workers could hear it, and when it died half an hour later I looked like a loving psychic. Not related in the slightest but one time a computer was beeping for some reason and they had tried restarting several times and it still beeped. I walked in and leaned down to listen to it, putting my hands on it and putting my ears close. The beeping stopped. I could not convince them that I hadn't laid hands and pulled some divine intervention poo poo.
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Nov 4, 2016 12:45
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It only wanted a hug. Computers get lonely too.
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Nov 4, 2016 12:47
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larchesdanrew posted:Not related in the slightest but one time a computer was beeping for some reason and they had tried restarting several times and it still beeped. I walked in and leaned down to listen to it, putting my hands on it and putting my ears close. The beeping stopped. gently caress that. Lean into the bullshit. Whenever the technical explanation is too long or boring, I tell people I was part of an experiment at CERN that made subtle changes to my electromagnetic field, and that's enough to fix the microgravitic fluctuations that caused the problem.
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Nov 4, 2016 13:44
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Ticket: I leaned over and my tits flipped the computer Great way to start the day!
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Nov 4, 2016 13:52
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pixaal posted:Ticket: I leaned over and my tits flipped the computer I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure I understand. Can you reproduce the issue?
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Nov 4, 2016 14:16
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SeaborneClink posted:I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure I understand. Can you reproduce the issue? Slower this time.
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Nov 4, 2016 14:17
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pixaal posted:Ticket: I leaned over and my tits flipped the computer Is that considered a soft reset or a hard reset?
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Nov 4, 2016 14:19
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Muppet Rabies posted:Is that considered a soft reset or a hard reset? Soft reset in the initial incident, a hard reset when recreating under test conditions with stringent observation of the pertinent factors causing the original incident.
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Nov 4, 2016 14:21
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Hot silicone on silicone workplace violence.
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Nov 4, 2016 14:45
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a ticket came in posted:I have a problem with the customer prints that are linked with the purchase orders I place. When I email a purchase order to a vendor the print not only goes as an attachment to the email it also prints on the purchasing printer and tries to fax. I am able to stop the fax but not the printer. This is wasting a lot of paper and means that the planners have to sort through stacks of prints to find their print outs. nooope, not touching that one!
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Nov 4, 2016 15:38
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pixaal posted:Ticket: I leaned over and my tits flipped the computer lol at all these people assuming it's a woman and not literally me.
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Nov 4, 2016 15:54
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You have prehensile tits?
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Nov 4, 2016 16:57
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Resolution: Calm yo tits.
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Nov 4, 2016 17:03
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larchesdanrew posted:Not related in the slightest but one time a computer was beeping for some reason and they had tried restarting several times and it still beeped. I walked in and leaned down to listen to it, putting my hands on it and putting my ears close. The beeping stopped. I love it when this happens. I swear to god computers can detect an IT Technician coming around the corner and immediately fix their poo poo before you touch it. It's like when a child has a temper tantrum and they fear getting spanked so they fix their mood quickly.
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Nov 4, 2016 17:05
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Migishu posted:I love it when this happens. I swear to god computers can detect an IT Technician coming around the corner and immediately fix their poo poo before you touch it. When I worked at my school's helpdesk, I blamed it on "IT Radiation". (The real answer was that apparently I'm the only person in the universe that uses sleep mode instead of doing a full shutdown before moving their computer and the old adage works)
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Nov 4, 2016 18:50
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18 Character Limit posted:And then the tinnitus takes over. What?
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Nov 4, 2016 18:54
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Samizdata posted:What? I don't quite know... it rings familiar.
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Nov 4, 2016 20:15
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MJP posted:I don't quite know... it rings familiar. WHAT?
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Nov 4, 2016 21:14
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Migishu posted:WHAT? WILL ALL YOU FUCKERS STOP MUMBLING AND JUST TALK CLEARLY FOR A SECOND?! THIS IS NOT GODDAMN FUNNY!
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Nov 4, 2016 21:39
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Samizdata posted:WILL ALL YOU FUCKERS STOP MUMBLING AND JUST TALK CLEARLY FOR A SECOND?! THIS IS NOT GODDAMN FUNNY! This is my boss and it doesn't help that i also mumble. He was a rocker in his youth and is always complaining about his tinnitus.
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Nov 4, 2016 21:54
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Boogalo posted:This is my boss and it doesn't help that i also mumble. He was a rocker in his youth and is always complaining about his tinnitus. I only wish I had been a rocker. I suspect it is Meniere's.
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Nov 4, 2016 21:58
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The number of times I've been asked to come watch a problem only to have it not occur with the same user doing the same thing as before defies statistical probability. I've also jokingly laid hands on nonfunctional equipment and said "be healed" and then had it start right up so maybe it IS me.
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Nov 4, 2016 22:48
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Javid posted:The number of times I've been asked to come watch a problem only to have it not occur with the same user doing the same thing as before defies statistical probability. When a user is involved, they're never doing the same thing as before: they're doing it more carefully because they know you're watching.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:23
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Javid posted:The number of times I've been asked to come watch a problem only to have it not occur with the same user doing the same thing as before defies statistical probability. Yep, the thing is not only is it a waste of time but also also annoying since you won't be able to come up with a solution for it. At some point I'd like to invoke I'd like to invoke a bit of G-Gundam in these situations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7ZjSxRCiqg THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWERRRR! IT'S BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU!
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Nov 5, 2016 00:06
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Max Peck posted:When a user is involved, they're never doing the same thing as before: they're doing it more carefully because they know you're watching. it's always so awkward too, you don't want to sound condescending as you say "no, I'm sure it crashed last time you did it, technology is so weird right?"
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Nov 5, 2016 00:13
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This video is very cathartic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrbQqh0rBIo
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Nov 5, 2016 09:04
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Knormal posted:This video is very cathartic. Mostly, but then I got sad at the laptop part. You haven't seen what pants my laptop is.
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Nov 5, 2016 10:23
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Samizdata posted:You haven't seen what pants my laptop is. What
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Nov 5, 2016 15:28
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Samizdata posted:You haven't seen what pants my laptop is. but now i really, really want to
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Nov 5, 2016 15:50
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Judge Schnoopy posted:but now i really, really want to Pants is an expression with a seriously negative connotation. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pants Rubbish; something worthless. You're talking pants! The film was a load (or pile) of pants.
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Nov 5, 2016 17:45
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