webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

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indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

Miss-Bomarc posted:

(joins call)
"Hi everybody, so this meeting is--
(oh, I better mute my phone so I'm not That rear end in a top hat)
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NOW MUTED."
"TO UN-MUTE, HIT STAR-6."
"TO PLACE THE CALL ON HOLD, HIT STAR-4."
"TO LEAVE THE CONFERENCE, HIT STAR-2."
"TO HEAR OTHER PHONE COMMAND OPTIONS, HIT STAR-8."
"YOU WILL NOW BE RETURNED TO THE CONFERENCE."
"-omarc? Miss-Bomarc? Hello?"
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE UN-MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NO LONGER MUTED."
"TO MUTE YOUR HANDSET, HIT STAR-6..."

wow that seems like a terrible system, I can't imagine that's useful to anyone

mishaq posted:

thread over

throver

# ? Nov 4, 2016 12:33

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:56

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Miss-Bomarc posted:

(joins call)
"Hi everybody, so this meeting is--
(oh, I better mute my phone so I'm not That rear end in a top hat)
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NOW MUTED."
"TO UN-MUTE, HIT STAR-6."
"TO PLACE THE CALL ON HOLD, HIT STAR-4."
"TO LEAVE THE CONFERENCE, HIT STAR-2."
"TO HEAR OTHER PHONE COMMAND OPTIONS, HIT STAR-8."
"YOU WILL NOW BE RETURNED TO THE CONFERENCE."
"-omarc? Miss-Bomarc? Hello?"
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE UN-MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NO LONGER MUTED."
"TO MUTE YOUR HANDSET, HIT STAR-6..."

lol

# ? Nov 4, 2016 13:22

Glans Dillzig: Nov 23, 2011; knickerbocker expert

Miss-Bomarc posted:

(joins call)
"Hi everybody, so this meeting is--
(oh, I better mute my phone so I'm not That rear end in a top hat)
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NOW MUTED."
"TO UN-MUTE, HIT STAR-6."
"TO PLACE THE CALL ON HOLD, HIT STAR-4."
"TO LEAVE THE CONFERENCE, HIT STAR-2."
"TO HEAR OTHER PHONE COMMAND OPTIONS, HIT STAR-8."
"YOU WILL NOW BE RETURNED TO THE CONFERENCE."
"-omarc? Miss-Bomarc? Hello?"
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE UN-MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NO LONGER MUTED."
"TO MUTE YOUR HANDSET, HIT STAR-6..."

do you not just mute your actual phone or what

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:16

Mad Wack: Mar 27, 2008; "The faster you use your cooldowns, the faster you can use them again"

what is tom shitfucker up to these days

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:52

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

"IM GOING TO CONFERENCE HIM IN, IS THAT OK?"
"Yeah, that's fine."
*phone rings*
*Voicemail picks up*
"Hi, I'm not available to take your call..."
"OK, HE ISN'T THERE HOW CAN I DISCONNECT HIM FROM THIS?"
*random buttons smashed*
"You have to hit the-"
"...if this requires immediate attention please reach out to my coworker at..."
"HE'S NOT THERE HOW DO I GET RID OF HIM FROM THE CALL."
"Deb, you have to-"
*Call abruptly ends*

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:57

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

"IM GOING TO CONFERENCE HIM IN, IS THAT OK?"
"Yeah, that's fine."
*phone rings*
*Voicemail picks up*
"Hi, I'm not available to take your call..."
"OK, HE ISN'T THERE HOW CAN I DISCONNECT HIM FROM THIS?"
*random buttons smashed*
"You have to hit the-"
"...if this requires immediate attention please reach out to my coworker at..."
"HE'S NOT THERE HOW DO I GET RID OF HIM FROM THE CALL."
"Deb, you have to-"
*Call abruptly ends*

how long have you had that name

# ? Nov 4, 2016 23:06

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

since a kindly mod gave it to me in a namechange thread years ago

# ? Nov 4, 2016 23:11

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

since a kindly mod gave it to me in a namechange thread years ago

somehow I just now noticed it :shobon:

# ? Nov 4, 2016 23:29

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

ugh, ms teams

its got skype for business fuckery in it in that i get 2 messages, one on each platform

vid is good tho

# ? Nov 5, 2016 06:33

Miss-Bomarc: Aug 1, 2009

Glans Dillzig posted:

do you not just mute your actual phone or what

No, we are not permitted to have "mute" buttons on the actual phone. The idea, as it was explained to me, is that it's an info-security thing. People at neighboring cubicles might have discussions where proprietary information is exchanged, and we have to be able to mute our phones when that happens, BUT without a positive signal that our phone has been muted we can't be sure that it's on mute.

Evidently there's some process by which you can set the menu back to "short" (where it only says "YOU HAVE NOW BEEN MUTED, TO UN-MUTE HIT STAR-6") but:

*You can't get into this conference-call menu unless you're in an actual conference call
*The option is apparently buried three menu levels deep and there's no indication of where you have to go to change it
*It doesn't persist, so you have to do it again every time you dial into a conference.

# ? Nov 6, 2016 20:21

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

why the gently caress is there a code for leaving the conference? does it call you back if you just hang up or something?

# ? Nov 6, 2016 20:27

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Miss-Bomarc posted:

No, we are not permitted to have "mute" buttons on the actual phone. The idea, as it was explained to me, is that it's an info-security thing. People at neighboring cubicles might have discussions where proprietary information is exchanged, and we have to be able to mute our phones when that happens, BUT without a positive signal that our phone has been muted we can't be sure that it's on mute.

Evidently there's some process by which you can set the menu back to "short" (where it only says "YOU HAVE NOW BEEN MUTED, TO UN-MUTE HIT STAR-6") but:

*You can't get into this conference-call menu unless you're in an actual conference call
*The option is apparently buried three menu levels deep and there's no indication of where you have to go to change it
*It doesn't persist, so you have to do it again every time you dial into a conference.

holy gently caress lmao

# ? Nov 6, 2016 20:36

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

Miss-Bomarc posted:

No, we are not permitted to have "mute" buttons on the actual phone. The idea, as it was explained to me, is that it's an info-security thing. People at neighboring cubicles might have discussions where proprietary information is exchanged, and we have to be able to mute our phones when that happens, BUT without a positive signal that our phone has been muted we can't be sure that it's on mute.

Evidently there's some process by which you can set the menu back to "short" (where it only says "YOU HAVE NOW BEEN MUTED, TO UN-MUTE HIT STAR-6") but:

*You can't get into this conference-call menu unless you're in an actual conference call
*The option is apparently buried three menu levels deep and there's no indication of where you have to go to change it
*It doesn't persist, so you have to do it again every time you dial into a conference.

lol

# ? Nov 6, 2016 20:37

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

Miss-Bomarc posted:

No, we are not permitted to have "mute" buttons on the actual phone. The idea, as it was explained to me, is that it's an info-security thing. People at neighboring cubicles might have discussions where proprietary information is exchanged, and we have to be able to mute our phones when that happens, BUT without a positive signal that our phone has been muted we can't be sure that it's on mute.

Evidently there's some process by which you can set the menu back to "short" (where it only says "YOU HAVE NOW BEEN MUTED, TO UN-MUTE HIT STAR-6") but:

*You can't get into this conference-call menu unless you're in an actual conference call
*The option is apparently buried three menu levels deep and there's no indication of where you have to go to change it
*It doesn't persist, so you have to do it again every time you dial into a conference.

Captain Foo posted:

holy gently caress lmao

# ? Nov 6, 2016 23:17

Iridium: Apr 4, 2002; Wretched Harp

infosec is the realm of a sort of hive-mind autism.

"god, users, rite? it's not like this is difficult stuff!" <sets a mandatory 32 character password limit changed weekly, installs monitoring software that prevents windows core services from running, blocks facebook at work cuz that one girl totally friendzoned them there once>

edit- also, countdown to UMM, ACTUALLY replies

# ? Nov 6, 2016 23:43

Arcsech: Aug 5, 2008

Iridium posted:

infosec is the realm of a sort of hive-mind autism.

"god, users, rite? it's not like this is difficult stuff!" <sets a mandatory 32 character password limit changed weekly, installs monitoring software that prevents windows core services from running, blocks facebook at work cuz that one girl totally friendzoned them there once>

edit- also, countdown to UMM, ACTUALLY replies

this sort of "infosec" is the worst bullshit

sane, intelligent infosec people are essentially unicorns

# ? Nov 7, 2016 00:25

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

we just recently adopted a new policy where you have to change your password every sixty day, it has to have at least eight characters and some numbers and some letters.

the olds revolted it was glorious

help desk has to go out and help people change and pick their passwords it's amazing

so many post its with passwords

# ? Nov 7, 2016 02:01

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

infosec dudes are the worst people in the world. idk how or why it happened, but it's demonstrably true

jfc they suck

# ? Nov 7, 2016 02:09

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

depends on who you have in your org.

if you just have a bunch of guys that want to run nexpose all day and scream about patching then yeah, they suck.

if you have guys that keep up with the latest vulnerabilities and trends and are constantly pushing to keep a multilayered security profile for the org, then those guys are cool as hell.

# ? Nov 7, 2016 02:15

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

depends on who you have in your org.

if you just have a bunch of guys that want to run nexpose all day and scream about patching then yeah, they suck.

if you have guys that keep up with the latest vulnerabilities and trends and are constantly pushing to keep a multilayered security profile for the org, then those guys are cool as hell.

yeah, fair point

i'm kinda just venting here but ime good infosec guys are the exception. i don't just mean good at their jobs, i mean that and also tolerable in a conversation

# ? Nov 7, 2016 02:21

Bulgakov: Mar 8, 2009; рукописи не горят

security driven by a desire to create a trail of blame shift auditing is really not good

# ? Nov 7, 2016 02:23

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

i've found that the culture of infosec is almost entirely driven by the security officer and/or security director. if he's an audit checklist checker then all the guys under him will be as well.

where I work the fear of audit is what drives everything infosec does. there's nothing proactive accomplished outside of that scope.

# ? Nov 7, 2016 03:07

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

lol if you even have a security director

# ? Nov 7, 2016 04:38

Miss-Bomarc: Aug 1, 2009

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

if you have guys that keep up with the latest vulnerabilities and trends and are constantly pushing to keep a multilayered security profile for the org, then those guys are cool as hell.

We've actually got a pretty good team that actually implements things, the problem is that the requirements for things were laid on us by customers who are political appointees and don't actually understand what computers can and cannot do.

They are the kind of people who don't believe that a fresh-from-the-package USB stick can have trojan downloaders on it, but they will go to the mattresses before letting you post a picture of the thing you are working on in your cube because "it's prorietary".

# ? Nov 7, 2016 07:02

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

Miss-Bomarc posted:

No, we are not permitted to have "mute" buttons on the actual phone. The idea, as it was explained to me, is that it's an info-security thing. People at neighboring cubicles might have discussions where proprietary information is exchanged, and we have to be able to mute our phones when that happens, BUT without a positive signal that our phone has been muted we can't be sure that it's on mute

wait, isnt not having a mute button a bigger issue since you need to complete multiple steps to mute? that sounds like a ux issue and a security issue. if anything, physical muting gives not only a signal but removes the risk of transmitting audio to a remote location to be handled there

# ? Nov 7, 2016 07:28

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

also to add, i had a teleconference where i thought it was telepresence video enabled and went through the effort of securing the right meeting room, only to stare at a blank screen on what was a phone call for an hour

# ? Nov 7, 2016 07:29

Partycat: Oct 25, 2004

Went through one where the far end played spin the laptop to point it at whoever was taking at a 10 person conference table

# ? Nov 7, 2016 14:23

Iridium: Apr 4, 2002; Wretched Harp

i think i'm going to randomly start shaming some of my coworkers for "ITsplaining".

i mean partly some of them definitely do so from that condescending place, but also because gently caress communication with peers.

edit- scrum call. boss asks inane question, wordydev starts ITsplaining at him. Click.

Iridium fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Nov 7, 2016

# ? Nov 7, 2016 15:45

Satellit3: Oct 21, 2008

one of my coworkers doesnt have a degree and i think hes real insecure about it. he uses so many technical terms when not necessary at all. some favorites i hear just about every day are 'leverage', 'container', 'regression', 'a utility i wrote' ..... :fuckoff:

like eg rather than write a query that joined tables x y z, he leveraged the poo table, 'essentially a container for chome data', to pull this report which aggregates dicks and lomarfs.

i mean there is a place for that but not 24/7

# ? Nov 7, 2016 19:40

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man

# ? Nov 7, 2016 19:57

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man

# ? Nov 7, 2016 19:57

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

BONGHITZ posted:

He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man

BONGHITZ posted:

He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man

Insecure about your post being read?

# ? Nov 7, 2016 19:58

Maximum Leader: Dec 5, 2014

insecure about computer things

# ? Nov 7, 2016 20:54

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

BONGHITZ posted:

He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man

BONGHITZ posted:

He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man

sounds like we have an echo. can everyone mute their phones for BONGHITZ posts?

# ? Nov 7, 2016 21:41

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

BONGHITZ posted:

He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man

BONGHITZ posted:

_{He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man}

BONGHITZ posted:

_{_{He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man}}

BONGHITZ posted:

_{_{_{He is insecure about it and there is nothing you can do to help that poor man}}}

# ? Nov 7, 2016 21:59

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Agile Vector posted:

sounds like we have an echo. can everyone mute their phones for BONGHITZ posts?

maniacdevnull posted:

# ? Nov 7, 2016 22:16

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

Agile Vector posted:

sounds like we have an echo. can everyone mute their phones for BONGHITZ posts?

he is insecure-He Is Insecure-HE IS INSECURE-HE IS INSECUREFWIPFWIPFWIPFIWPWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

# ? Nov 7, 2016 22:39

coffeecup: Feb 26, 2016

this thread has been a good laugh, thanks all. we'll touch base next week.

# ? Nov 8, 2016 00:33

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

great chat, can you summarise in an email and ill get back to you on the points raised?

# ? Nov 8, 2016 01:18

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:56

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

can someone forward me the meeting minutes?

# ? Nov 8, 2016 01:26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

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