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Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Sell the horse and just tell them it destroyed a fence and ran away like it seems to want to do, problem solved

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slothzilla
Dec 19, 2003

John Oliver on MLMs

https://youtu.be/s6MwGeOm8iI

Ashcans
Jan 2, 2006

Let's do the space-time warp again!


She should have just found another crazy person to buy her share of the horseshare, then she could have had that $2500 in hand and her mother/sister would make a new crazy horsefriend with their co-owner.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

Alright, personal life instead of just finding randos on the internet to make fun of. Marriage is weird so:

Hubbo has a friend who works as an independent contractor/consultant, makes a comfortable living, seems reasonable. Then I hear how she's "classified" as an escort, for "tax purposes." No one can give me the details on this; I'm 100% sure she does no sex work (she converted to Catholicism) and have tried to make the case that there's no tax advantage to pretending to have a profession which is ostensibly not legal and typically subject to a lot of audits, but deaf ears. Maybe she advertises as an escort? But checking her business page, no. All I can guess is that's what she puts on an IRS form somewhere. I try not to think about it too often.

All your health problems can be solved with crystals and essential oils. She has gotten some benefit from these things, and it was after trying moderately extensive medical treatment by actual doctors. She hates seeking medical care because she feels it hasn't done much for her in the past and it's very expensive (she buys her own health insurance on the exchange for obvious reasons and ends up with huge deductibles and coinsurance). I can't argue with either of those points because some people do everything right and still have that problem.

However, she dumps thousands into essential oils and yoga/business coaching "retreats." The latest "retreat" was 3 weekends and was either $3k or $6k. I told her she didn't need a retreat to practice yoga, which she does on the regular anyway. I said I didn't think she needed much coaching since by most common metrics her business is successful, but if she did, there's better ways to get it than a yoga retreat. Then it comes out that it's a confidence thing, you know. So they take people (women, it's for women only) who are insecure about their business acumen and tell them if they go on this "retreat" (weekend classes) that they'll be more confident and able to run their business.

She won't trust me when I say that even if the $200 essential oil supplement truly is 100% the substance you think you're buying, that doesn't make it safe. I have told her so many times that natural poisons exist, and lots of these natural remedies are metabolized by the liver, so if your tendency is to start with a bottle of wine every Saturday it's not the safest thing to do. It doesn't matter, because she's found something that helps her and real medicine couldn't do that. Some of the granola is to help with chronic pain after a car accident. She can't run anymore, so I suggest a PT to either get her back to running or get alternative exercises she can do. No, she's just going to go to the chiropractor, buy this Shakeology off her girlfriend who sells it and do the strenuous-if-you-are-sedentary exercises included in the shake plan (which put her in more pain).

The cherry on top is Itex. It's not bartering, she says! Google begs to differ. Well, there might be some aspect of bartering, but it could help out a small business with cash flow problems! Her boyfriend says if you're having cash flow problems, you should probably fix it by doing work for real money and not massage gift certificates. I said that even a couple months of getting your necessary business functions completed isn't going to solve the cash flow problem, and if your business can't pay for these things, you can't afford your small business. I just don't know about running a small business, she says.

Then it comes out that of the few merchants who accept this trash, most of them set a maximum amount per year (and probably per service) that they will accept. With any "alternative currency" there's always a real risk that whoever offered the service is going to go belly-up before you redeem your FakeBux, but they just get it right out in front that their merchants are likely to stop taking it at any time. It's $400 to register for this system and the transaction fee is 6%. I'm mad that I didn't think of it first. It takes some chutzpah to invent something like this with Bitcoin already floating around and to actually get buy-in. She is considering doing some work for someone for this crap in exchange: she estimates her cost at $200 which I'm sure is low, and in return she's going to get enough Itex to get her house painted, which would normally run about $6k.

She's not a stupid or incapable person. It's frustrating to see people have their insecurities played like a fiddle just so someone else can make a buck.

Tiny Deer
Jan 16, 2012

NancyPants posted:

Then I hear how she's "classified" as an escort, for "tax purposes."

All your health problems can be solved with crystals and essential oils

she dumps thousands into essential oils and yoga/business coaching "retreats."

start with a bottle of wine every Saturday

she's just going to go to the chiropractor

Itex

I just don't know about running a small business, she says.

"alternative currency"

She's not a stupid or incapable person.

Nitrox
Jul 5, 2002
What do you mean "classified"? As in, registered business?

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

Nitrox posted:

What do you mean "classified"? As in, registered business?

That's what I keep trying to find out.

BEHOLD: MY CAPE
Jan 11, 2004

I like how the OP basically said six months ago to sister, "I'm walking away from this in six months" and now that fact that warning was given is acceptable justification to back out of the problem situation they have mutually purchased.

BEHOLD: MY CAPE fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Nov 7, 2016

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard
Bad With Money: if you're having cash flow problems, you should probably fix it by doing work for real money

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster
This can only end well:

quote:

How to consolidate 401ks to save my marriage?

My husband and I both have fairly well paying careers. We have each have a 401k from our employers. The current balances are:

Husband: 87k
Me: 72k

We are about to have a child and money has been a consistent problem in the relationship. I'm quitting my job to be a full time SAHM. Knowing that I can't contribute to my 401k anymore after I quit, what would the best way be to roll it over into my husband's account?

We would have to withdraw all of it and pay fees, but my husband's thinking is that 87k + 72k in one account will gain more than 87k in one account and 72k in another.

He is also very concerned about my personal spending habits and he will only agree to letting me be a SAHM if I roll over my 401k into an account in his name. He says that since I will be in charge of household duties and he will be paying for them, that he needs to run the 401k fund in his name to get the best results.

We looked into it and can't roll my 401k over into his, so we need to cash mine out and have him open a new account (edit: YES I KNOW THERE ARE FEES AND CAPITAL GAINS OR WHATEVER)

My dream has always been to be a SAHM, so this has to happen. I just want to know how the best way is to get my 401k money into his account. Also who he should pick to do it. I think he has someone in mind already, but I just want to know if there is a best one.

Thanks.

slap me silly
Nov 1, 2009
Grimey Drawer
The next week: "Hey hubby, how did you afford a $72,000 car?" ... "Oh, I got a big bonus at work"

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

Uncle Enzo posted:

Bad With Money: if you're having cash flow problems, you should probably fix it by doing work for real money

I thought I was going to die laughing when the guy said it for real, but having this as a thread title would make my month.

Special A
Nov 6, 2004

TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!

BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:

I like how the OP basically said six months ago to sister, "I'm walking away from this in six months" and now that fact that warning was given is acceptable justification to back out of the problem situation they have mutually purchased.

Based on the rest of the post, I think she wanted to sell the horse but the sister didn't want to, so she gave her sister 6 months to figure something out. I think that's pretty reasonable, considering that if she were feeling litigious, she could have just dissolved the partnership, forcing the horse to be sold so its worth could be split between the three of them.

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster

slap me silly posted:

The next week: "Hey hubby, how did you afford a $72,000 car?" ... "Oh, I got a big bonus at work"

Other than the potential financial abuse, the thing that stuck out to me was the thought process of:

1) Money in two accounts won't grow as fast (growth is %-based, they would be the same assuming the same investments.)
2) We can't roll it over into one account
3) Okay, let's lose 35-40% of the money on taxes and penalties, lose future gains to cap gains taxes, and then put the money in two different accounts anyway.
4) This will save money.

and this is not even getting into the fact that "money has been a consistent problem" and the solutions to that problem are:

1) Lose half your income
2) Lose half your 401k and 20% of future gains
3) Give responsibility for managing the money to someone who doesn't know how percentages work
4) Have a baby

Leon Trotsky 2012 fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Nov 7, 2016

slap me silly
Nov 1, 2009
Grimey Drawer

NancyPants posted:

I thought I was going to die laughing when the guy said it for real, but having this as a thread title would make my month.

Sadly, it's way too long. Thanks, radium!

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

slap me silly posted:

Sadly, it's way too long. Thanks, radium!

:( well thanks for considering it

Nail Rat
Dec 29, 2000

You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!!
401k consolidation lady is why I love this thread.

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster
This might be the shortest post to ever hit BWM bingo.

quote:

19, Engaged, Want to Buy a House

I'm 19 and just got engaged to my girlfriend. For the past year we have been living in between three different households, my parents, her mom's, and her dad's. Now we are engaged, we are wanting to move out and get our own place. The only issue is my fiancé wants to rent and I want to buy. Her reason for wanting to rent is because she may go to college within the next three years. My reason for wanting to buy is we are getting more for our money in the sense of getting a mortgage and the place is ours. We also would save money by not paying stable fees if we can keep her horses on our land (her mom pays them currently, but will stop if she moves out). We are both currently in jobs with a combined income of about 30,000.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard
My wife and I's finances are very, very conjoined but even we still have separate retirement accounts. Why in the world wouldn't she just roll her money into an IRA with (say) Vanguard, sink it in a target-date fund, and forget about it? My wife just recently did this and it's an online signup, a phone call, and forwarding a check. Easier than getting utilities switched over.

Who does this dude think he is to be "managing" anyone's money anyways? I "manage" my retirement funds by putting money into them every paycheck and logging in and looking at the balance a couple times a year. If your money is in index funds or equivalents (and if not you're an idiot) you only need to peek every now and then, assuming you're not close to retirement.

72k is a pretty drat good balance for someone young enough to be having kids. I wish I had that much.

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat

Grimey Drawer
I think this is where the wife starts going by Mrs. Husbandsfirstname Husbandslastname for the next 30 years until she has no separate identity.

Droo
Jun 25, 2003

Krispy Kareem posted:

I think this is where the wife starts going by Mrs. Husbandsfirstname Husbandslastname for the next 30 years until she has no separate identity.

Some of my inlaws send my wife birthday cards addressed that way. It's so loving weird.

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster

quote:

Parents have a lot of credit card debt, along with a substantial 401K. Need advice.

So my parents have never been great with money management, budgeting, or tracking their spending, but my brother and I just got a bomb dropped on us when Mom confessed she had around 22K on one interest free card, and at least 2K each on three other cards. They have about 210K in a 401K. I've tried explaining that they should just pay off their cards from the 401K, but my dad refuses to do that, as the money in there earns them interest, and he's concerned about leaving a significant amount for both me and my brother. Both of us would appreciate this kind of money, but we'd survive if we got nothing. What would be the best option for them?

What's the best way to manage this debt? Pay it off bit by bit (mom's plan, which has never loving worked) or take a lump sum from the 401K and pay it off? Or any other options I'm not seeing.

Mom says she is paying the minimum payment on the big debt, 1%. When the interest free part expires (18 months), she transfers that debt to a NEW interest free card.
The other cards she pays $100 a month, per card. But then uses all four of the cards monthly, so she's barely making a dent. This is not even the first time she's racked up close to 30K in credit cards. She did it before and had to refinance the house.

They're both retired, aged 67, retired at 62 because they were both done with their jobs. My mom doesn't believe they can save money, as they only get about $3k each month (including a small social security payment). House is paid off, they have a small car payment. They say that their minimum expenses (only essentials) total around 54k a year. Their 401k started with 310k about 3 years ago and they initially withdrew 65k a year. The 52k figure is what they budgeted after cutting down all non-essential payments.

Droo
Jun 25, 2003

Leon, where are you finding these? I really wanted to read the thread on the wife that wanted to give her husband her 401k but I couldn't find it on Reddit.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

This can only end well:

pure lunacy

Wait, so they are going to cash out the 401k, distribute it into a joint checking or savings or something, and then he's going to open an individual brokerage account? I hope they post the name of the FA that helps them do that so I can report the loving idiot. I know they'll probably just do it on their own, but holy poo poo.

cowofwar
Jul 30, 2002

by Athanatos
I bet the husband plans on making up for his wife's lost income by using the combined 401k account to day trade.

It will all end poorly.

cowofwar
Jul 30, 2002

by Athanatos
It would still be two accounts because you still can't merge a 401k account with a taxable account.

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster

Droo posted:

Leon, where are you finding these? I really wanted to read the thread on the wife that wanted to give her husband her 401k but I couldn't find it on Reddit.

Most recent one is the OP and comments from this Reddit thread.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5bmi5p/parents_have_a_lot_of_credit_card_debt_along_with/

The other two are from bogleheads.org forums and I'll edit in the links to them when I'm not phone posting at work.

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster
This one isn't the worst thing in the world, but the tone and bolded sentence made me laugh.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5blolm/teenage_boy_doesnt_know_how_to_handle_money_help/

quote:

Teenage boy doesn't know how to handle money HELP PLEASE

Hey guys this is my first post on this sub after a few months of lurking, but now i found myself in a bind. I'm am on my last year of high school and my mom is preparing me to be on my own the only issue is that she doesn't know how to manage money and sadly schools don't teach that (at least at my school). I have a job as a janitor making $8 a hour and working 4 hours a day adding up to 20 hours a week. Basicly i get paid twice a month(5th and 15th) for two weeks of work each pay check adding up to $320 everypay check. My mom isn't going to pay for the things i need sense I'm technically an adult, but she is allowing me to live rent free.

I have to pay car insurance of $200 every month (can't get lower because car is in moms name and she recently had a car accident raising her insurance price)
I also have to pay $40 for phone Bill

And $120 monthly for gas

Some how i manage to join my local gym thinking I'm only going to pay $30 a month but SOME HOW getting TRICKED INTO SIGING A CONTRACT with a personal trainer to meet him 4 times a month and pay him $120 ever month ($30 per session) for a year.

I'm not good with money at all and i manage to pay all of these some how but I'm constantly asking my mom to barrow money and I'm never able to put anything aside to save. Truth be told i can't find another job because of school and lack of time, BUT I'M BEGGING YOU GUYS TO HELP ME FIND A WAY TO MANAGE THIS AND STILL BE ABLE TO SAVE A LITTLE MONEY.
Sincerely, teenage boy who can't manage money.

Truth be told I'm very good with computers at some point my mom had her college friends bringing me their laptops to fix software/hardware problems and I was making decent cash. this was before I had a job. I stop improving my knowledge with computers after I got in trouble at school for "tampering" with computers

Edit: Doh, meant to edit this into the last post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/1k2e07/in_debt_for_160k_student_loans_and_im_buying_a/

quote:

In debt for $160k (student loans) and I'm buying a $300k 1br condo. Sounds great, right?

Here's my financial situation. Any advice would be amazing.
27 year old female. Income is $65k/year or ~$3,500/month.
$160k in student loans:
$52k at 8.5%
$75k at 8.13%
$33k at 6.8%

(I know, I know. Ivy league masters program, no financial aid, not smart)

I'm currently living at home with my parents in California, paying minimums on student loans ($300/month) and saving the majority of my income (down payment, see below). Car is paid off. Expenses are none to frugal. My parents are willing to help out with money, to the tune of ~$500/month. I have good advancement prospects at my job and wouldn't be surprised if I'm over $100k in a year or two. The thing is, I don't want to be living at home. I don't even want to live with room mates. I would love to own my own place. My parents are also pushing me to buy.
So now I'm in contract to buy a condo. $300k 1br, new construction.

It's in a beach town and I view the price as slightly below market rate for the area, if you can believe it. Housing is always in high demand here, and prices never dropped when the housing bubble popped.

I can put $47k down, and the rest is 30yr 4.336% fixed. HOA is $300/month. Taxes, insurance, & PMI are another $380/month. Total cost would be $1,912/month. I view this amount as affordable, and a reasonable price for a place of my own, if not a worthy investment. With my parents help, this scenario would involve me putting about $800/month towards my student loans, increasing with my salary.

My boyfriend generally thinks that I (and my parents) are clueless about my financial situation and his steadfast opinion is that I should live at home for the next 4 to 5 years (into my 30s), throwing all my money (and my parent's money) at my student loans until they're paid off and that I should not be thinking about housing, getting married, or having kids until that point.

What other options do I have? I don't like living at home but I think renting would be a worse financial decision than buying the condo. Help me!

Leon Trotsky 2012 fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Nov 7, 2016

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
I made up a 5x5 BWM bingo card, for those of you interested in playing a little game. Maybe make it a stipulation that you can't get credit for stories you post, as one could fill their card out pretty quickly.

Send me email addresses and I will send you Nigerian prince phishing emails a randomly generated card. I don't have PMs on here anymore.

Moneyball fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Nov 7, 2016

cowofwar
Jul 30, 2002

by Athanatos
She could pay off all her student loans in three years equivalent housing costs just by staying at home. No one wants to live at home but I'd say that sacrifice is worth it.

She should easily be able to land a dude that has a place with a good job like that. They could split rent and she would only be out $500 a month. She doesn't give much bf details but he probably lives at home and is a goon.

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster

Moneyball posted:

I made up a 5x5 BWM bingo card, for those of you interested in playing a little game. Maybe make it a stipulation that you can't get credit for stories you post, as one could fill their card out pretty quickly.

Send me email addresses and I will send you Nigerian prince phishing emails a randomly generated card

Suggestions / Guesses:

- Horses (Free Space)
- "I'm fairly confident my income will double in the next year / will keep rising at the same rate forever."
- Bitcoin
- 401k loan
- 6-figure weddings
- "Once in a lifetime opportunity"
- Obvious MLM
- Spouse / Family is ruining life and OP has no backbone
- Gold
- ForEx
- Truck Equity
- "Renting is just throwing money away!"
- Having a baby to fix money / relationship problems
- "Is it a scam / illegal to... (obviously a scam / illegal thing)"
- "I've hit rock bottom; how fast should I keep digging?"
- "It's not really debt if you do it for ~*memories*~"
- "How much stock should I buy on margin?"

Leon Trotsky 2012 fucked around with this message at 21:50 on Nov 7, 2016

Nail Rat
Dec 29, 2000

You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!!
I'm now feverishly rooting through the bogleheads forums trying to find 401k consolidation lady.

edit: "Follow your dreams."

Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Nov 7, 2016

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009

Droo posted:

Some of my inlaws send my wife birthday cards addressed that way. It's so loving weird.


I get that most people aren't exposed to formal correspondence anymore, but it's only very recently that it's been polite and acceptable to address a married woman as Mrs. Jane Doe rather than Mrs. John Doe. Your in-laws are not weird or trying to be weird. They are following long-standing proper social etiquette and norms for the situation. I have to assume in an effort to be polite.

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

Suggestions / Guesses:

- Horses (Free Space)
- "I'm fairly confident my income will double in the next year / will keep rising at the same rate forever."
- Bitcoin
- 401k loan
- 6-figure weddings
- "Once in a lifetime opportunity"
- Obvious MLM
- Spouse / Family is ruining life and OP has no backbone
- Gold
- ForEx
- Truck Equity
- "Renting is just throwing money away!"
- Having a baby to fix money / relationship problems
- "Is it a scam / illegal to... (obviously a scam / illegal thing)"
- "I've hit rock bottom; how fast should I keep digging?"
- "It's not really debt if you do it for ~*memories*~"
- "How much stock should I buy on margin?"

Six already accounted for. But I forgot weddings!

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard
-Buying a house AND one or both partners quitting their job with nothing else lined up AND having a baby all in the same year

-Negative truck equity

-Day trading

-Collectibles budget $500/mo or more

-Cashing in a pension

-Any kind of timeshare of anything at all

-"An Investment Opportunity"

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Droo posted:

Some of my inlaws send my wife birthday cards addressed that way. It's so loving weird.

Start replying to them that you're very flattered that they accept your new trans identity but your birthday isn't this month at all

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Motronic posted:

I get that most people aren't exposed to formal correspondence anymore, but it's only very recently that it's been polite and acceptable to address a married woman as Mrs. Jane Doe rather than Mrs. John Doe. Your in-laws are not weird or trying to be weird. They are following long-standing proper social etiquette and norms for the situation. I have to assume in an effort to be polite.

I mean yeah it's not like they're just making it up out of thin air but it's still pretty weird and antiquated. Almost feels one step away from them not speaking directly to your wife while you're present because that was also acceptable polite social etiquette in the past.

cowofwar
Jul 30, 2002

by Athanatos
My wife immediately terminates any phone call where she is referred to as Mrs. [my last name].

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009

ate all the Oreos posted:

I mean yeah it's not like they're just making it up out of thin air but it's still pretty weird and antiquated. Almost feels one step away from them not speaking directly to your wife while you're present because that was also acceptable polite social etiquette in the past.

It's in no way acceptable etiquette to do that kind of thing in person now. But for formal correspondence (for most people read: wedding invitations and such) it's still considered the proper way to do things by most people who proclaim to be the keepers of these things.

I'm making no judgement either way, just passing on cultural observations. Please do not shoot the messenger.

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Powerlurker
Oct 21, 2010

cowofwar posted:

My wife immediately terminates any phone call where she is referred to as Mrs. [my last name].

My mom kept her name when she married which made phone calls from telemarketers and such fun growing up:

"Hello, may I speak to Mr. [mom's last name]?"

"Sorry, there is no one by that name here."

And when I dad did the at-home-dad thing after my siblings were born:

"Hello, may I speak to your mother?"

"She isn't here." (they never thought to ask if my father was home)

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