/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Bonzo posted:

This one has to be fake.

I actually don't really know how you learn this outside of TV and movies and poo poo, lol just lol if your parents are married to each other.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 17:20

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# ? May 9, 2024 15:32

brotato: May 14, 2013

What the gently caress how can two people in a relationship be having TOO MUCH sex??? How much even is too much?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:11

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

brotato posted:

What the gently caress how can two people in a relationship be having TOO MUCH sex??? How much even is too much?

I dunno, you ever made your GF sore or had that happen to you? That's too much.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:17

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

That guy sounds terrible. Lingerie wasn't even the only gift. He complained about all of them.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:18

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I actually don't really know how you learn this outside of TV and movies and poo poo, lol just lol if your parents are married to each other.

Approximately 35 years ago, my father went on a week-long trip to Chicago. Three or four times a day, my mother stopped by his apartment wand dropped off a manila envelope full of newspaper clippings. By the time he returned, the stack was over a foot high. Instead of call the police, my father proposed to her. They had known each other two months. They're still happily married :shrug:

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:23

CaptainJuan: Oct 15, 2008; Thick. Juicy. Tender.

Imagine cutting into a Barry White Song.

Is your mother some sort of weird bird that builds their potential mate a fort out of trash

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:38

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

My [19F] father who is not a doctor, attempted to close a cut above my [12M] brothers eye. He failed, and my mother who is a surgeon is divorcing him. My sisters feel guilty for sounding the alarm bells to mom.

quote:

I would like to say thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes, I'm dyslexic.

My mother is a doctor/surgeon, she is really good at her job and has provided my siblings and I with a good life. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother. I am still confused as to what happened to my brother, but he split his eyebrow open. He was bleeding alot and my dad being the idiot he is did not call mom or think to take him to the ER. We have a home stature kit for first aid. It is only for worse case scenarios, such as if we can't get to the ER for example. My father thinking he would save himself the trip convinced my brother he knew how to do it. Needless to say it went horribly wrong. He hosed it up. My sisters sounded the alarm bells when they got home to mom. She rushed home and she had a look at my brother. My sisters are middle school and high school students who still live at home.

She took him back to the ER and she helped him out. When she got home she kicked my dad out. My dad is staying with his brother. My sisters feel really guilty about it and I am curious as to what I can do for them. I am the oldest and at college. We are all really protective of our brother. He's the baby of the family.

tl;dr: Mother is divorcing my father. He tried to close a wound on my brothers eye/head. He hosed it up and my sisters feel bad about sounding the alarm.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:54

Pussy Quipped: Jan 29, 2009

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My [19F] father who is not a doctor, attempted to close a cut above my [12M] brothers eye. He failed, and my mother who is a surgeon is divorcing him. My sisters feel guilty for sounding the alarm bells to mom.

There HAS to be a lot more going on in the marriage than just loving up some stitches

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:57

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Pussy Quipped posted:

There HAS to be a lot more going on in the marriage than just loving up some stitches

Not half.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 18:59

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

I dunno I feel one parent putting a child's health on the line with some inexperienced DIY surgery is good grounds for at least a fight.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:13

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

I like to imagine the father has attempted a number of other small surgeries on his children to poor results.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:14

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I dunno I feel one parent putting a child's health on the line with some inexperienced DIY surgery is good grounds for at least a fight.

Especially considering the wife is an actual doctor. Obviously this is speculation, but it sounds like "if my wife can do it..." might have been a component of his reasoning.

edit

VVVV
Oh good, I'm not the only one who arrived there.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:14

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Gotta wonder if he'd been making jabs at her about her job, like "I could sew up a cut too, it's not so hard :smug:

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:14

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Feels very Rick & Morty

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:17

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Bonzo posted:

Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend [20 F] 2 years, Its was our anniversary last week, so we got each other presents. Her big present to me was lingerie, for herself. Am I right in feeling bad after getting pretty much nothing as a gift?

So we've been together for two years and exchanged gifts last night for our anniversary. She got me expensive lingerie, soap, and pajama pants. I bought her a nice sapphire necklace.

I have lots of pajama pants already and don't need another pair, combined with the fact that shes the one who always wears them. And a bar of soap.... I guess because the one I currently have at her place is running out. And the final gift being lingerie. Something I've told her before I don't care about. Something unneeded for our sex life, cause we have too much sex already. It feels like she bought it for herself and is trying to justify it by giving it to me as a gift.

So I am left feeling brushed aside this anniversary and that its been all about her. Is that a fair feeling? or do other guys actually like getting lingerie as a gift

Hahahahah my god this is exactly a thing I saw on tumblr recently: http://imgur.com/a/TOLeE

Also lmbo

quote:

Neighbor's daughter died - I want her bike spot self.Advice
My neighbor's daughter died tragically and unexpectedly last summer. We live in an apartment building with a basement full of bikes and bike spots. I'd like to get another bike, but there's no room. Is it horrible of me to ask them if they want to give up one since they no longer need 4 bike spots? My wife says Larry David would be proud, but I don't know if it's that bad.

This is like a Seinfeld episode

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:16

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Hence the LD name drop.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:18

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Yea, that's a loving Curb episode right there. I can picture Larry asking for it.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:19

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

CaptainJuan posted:

Is your mother some sort of weird bird that builds their potential mate a fort out of trash

Maybe. She was (and is for her age) very very very good-looking though, so apparently the serial-killer antics were overlooked. My dad stuck his dick in crazy and got a hot, fanatically loyal wife :shrug:

Pick fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Nov 10, 2016

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:21

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

I actually missed the Larry David mention because I was just totally in awe how hilarious it is

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:22

Dirtbag Diva: May 27, 2005

Do guys not realize lingerie can be worn more than once? Unless she's wasteful and got like edible underwear (ugh) or something.

Of course, knowing Reddit that would open up the flood doors of "HOW CAN I MAKE SURE MY GIRLFRIEND IS ONLY USING HER SEXY LINGERIE WITH ME?" posts.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:26

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

I'm enjoying the thought that the envelopes of newspaper clips were like "MAN GOES MISSING AFTER CHEATING ON WIFE", that sort of this. Guy comes back to a four foot pile of subtle threats basically.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:27

Super Waffle: Sep 25, 2007; I'm a hermaphrodite and my parents (40K nerds) named me Slaanesh, THANKS MOM

The correct course of action here to for the guy to wear the lingerie

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:31

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

I [23M] was in a findom arrangement with [20s F]. I ended the arrangement months ago, and now she is back trying to blackmail me for money

quote:

I will start this by explaining what findom is. Findom means "financial domination" where I was the male submissive who had to pay to be dominated by the "Goddess" as she called herself.

This started around May this year and didn't last long, only a couple of weeks. I had been interested in findom for awhile, and now had quite a bit of cash to spend I thought I would give it a go. I contacted a findom model on instagram on my real account (first mistake I made) and we agreed to an arrangement. I paid her, she dominated me. I wasn't very interested in the arrangement and didn't enjoy it as I just seemed to be spending money and didn't really get much in return.

A part of findom I would like to add sometimes is blackmail, we discussed this and I told her that I wouldn't like to be blackmailed as I don't want my family/friends/job to find out about this, so no blackmail in our arrangement. So, when I decided that this wasn't for me I just told her that I was fired from my job and couldn't afford it anymore, she never replied to me, I had no money, I understood.

However just these past couple of weeks I started receiving payment requests frequently from her on paypal. At first I just cancelled it, but she kept sending them, so I messaged her. She told me that she had spied on my facebook profile recently since I was one of her most generous customers and saw that I have a job now, so I have to pay her again. I told her that I'm not interested in this anymore and won't be paying her anything. This is when she started the blackmail threats, she threatened to send my messages etc to my family and friends on facebook if I didn't pay up.

Now the big problem is, I'm from the UK, she's from the US so I don't think I'd get anywhere legally, but I want to resolve this situation without actually paying any money and without my family/friends/job seeing my sexual activity. Any ideas how I can stop this?

tl;dr: Was in a findom arrangement a few months ago, didn't enjoy it and ended the arrangement by lying and saying I got fired. Findom girl spied on me recently and has tried to blackmail me for money, can't do anything legally because we live in different countries. What can I do to get rid of her?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:30

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Dirtbag Diva posted:

Do guys not realize lingerie can be worn more than once? Unless she's wasteful and got like edible underwear (ugh) or something.

Of course, knowing Reddit that would open up the flood doors of "HOW CAN I MAKE SURE MY GIRLFRIEND IS ONLY USING HER SEXY LINGERIE WITH ME?" posts.

Now reverse the genders. Can I buy myself fancy clothes and claim it is a gift for my girl? She's told me before that suits are lingerie for men, so it's the same, right?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:32

stump collector: May 28, 2007

sinking belle posted:

I [23M] was in a findom arrangement with [20s F]. I ended the arrangement months ago, and now she is back trying to blackmail me for money

i think i am going to go ahead and shame this kink

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:38

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

stump collector posted:

i think i am going to go ahead and shame this kink

Jokes on you you should get in while the getting is good

I will financially dominate anyone who wants me to

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:45

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

The fin dom guys make no sense to me.

Go hire a regular dom and then just throw money into your 401k or something. Do it while she's whipping you or whatever, at least you're getting something out of it. Or just hire hookers and at least get a bunch of sex while you throw all your money away.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:46

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

sinking belle posted:

I [23M] was in a findom arrangement with [20s F]. I ended the arrangement months ago, and now she is back trying to blackmail me for money

Maybe he didn't say the Safe Word when he told her he didn't want to be blackmailed :shrug:

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:49

Dirtbag Diva: May 27, 2005

Chichevache posted:

Now reverse the genders. Can I buy myself fancy clothes and claim it is a gift for my girl? She's told me before that suits are lingerie for men, so it's the same, right?

hashtag meninism

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:50

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Holy poo poo it would be a dream of mine to find some sucker who lives on a different continent that will pay me to tell him what a loser he is. MY DREAM JOB.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:51

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

It's fine if the guy gets to keep the clothes if they break up, for his next girl.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:53

Eldred: Feb 19, 2004; Weight gain is impossible.

WampaLord posted:

The fin dom guys make no sense to me.

Go hire a regular dom and then just throw money into your 401k or something. Do it while she's whipping you or whatever, at least you're getting something out of it. Or just hire hookers and at least get a bunch of sex while you throw all your money away.

I think part of it is giving up control of your finances though. Maybe there's a niche for fin dom where the dom invests sensibly for you in a diversified set of stocks and bonds.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:53

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It's fine if the guy gets to keep the clothes if they break up, for his next girl.

My (20F) new boyfriend (21M) just gave me used lingerie for Christmas?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 19:55

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

sinking belle posted:

I [23M] was in a findom arrangement with [20s F]. I ended the arrangement months ago, and now she is back trying to blackmail me for money

I contacted a findom model on instagram on my real account (first mistake I made)

I like that he thinks that.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 20:12

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

stump collector posted:

i think i am going to go ahead and shame this kink

Berth ell pup

# ? Nov 10, 2016 20:29

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

sinking belle posted:

I [23M] was in a findom arrangement with [20s F]. I ended the arrangement months ago, and now she is back trying to blackmail me for money

I told someone about my top-secret sexual fetishes; also that I am terrified of being blackmailed. Now she is blackmailing me about my fetishes. What do???

# ? Nov 10, 2016 20:34

kuddles: Jul 16, 2006; Like a fist wrapped in blood...

Leon Einstein posted:

That guy sounds terrible. Lingerie wasn't even the only gift. He complained about all of them.

Also, while I can understand being let down getting soap and pyjamas as an anniversary gift, the reason is likely that he is boring and has no real interests and/or is terrible about letting her know what he likes. Those literally sound like "I've been with this person two years and I have no clue what they're into" gifts.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 21:49

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Holy poo poo it would be a dream of mine to find some sucker who lives on a different continent that will pay me to tell him what a loser he is. MY DREAM JOB.

You could literally do this today, you could probably even find several suckers.

I forgot where I read it, but I think Vice maybe had an interview with a financial dominatrix and she barely even interacted with the dudes who paid her, just posted like "need $400 for new shoes!" and dosh came rolling in.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 21:51

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

"My girlfriend dresses up sexy for me and we have too much sex. Woe is me."

# ? Nov 10, 2016 21:52

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# ? May 9, 2024 15:32

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 3 months, is it weird for my girlfriend to snapchat non nude pics in the shower to guy friends?

quote:

Basically my girlfriend says she's really comfortable with her body and usually shows me it a lot. I trust her that she won't send anything like that to anyone else and she told me she won't, but she told me something odd.
She told me she does snapchat her guy friends when she's in the shower. She said she only shows her face, but that seems a little weird. Is that normal??

# ? Nov 10, 2016 21:57

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