Regulation Size posted:

Finally we start going at it, and homeboy is licking my butt while I try to do my thing. Now, in a weird way that wasn't so bad, but I'd prefer only humans to lick me during sex. I reach around to push him away and he settles on just licking my feet, which at that point I was just resigned to it.

Tolkien minority posted:

My [13M] brother [19M] shot me in my balls with a BB Gun last night. It still hurts, my mom and dad are doctors and I'm to embarrassed to tell them.Personal issues

quote:

Is this 😘 an appropriate emoji to send to a friend of the opposite sex when you are in a relstionship?

I (25M) was using my girlfriend's (22F) phone (together for 7 months) to send myself a photo of the current state of my phone (cracked screen).

When I opened her messaging app I saw a conversation with a friend of hers from school where she said 😘😘. I didn't open the conversation but we were on the couch together so I immediately asked her about it and she said yeah, she uses that emoji with a lot of her friends, girls and guys.

She rarely uses that emoji with me (she says its because girls say "I love u" to their friends all the time but you wouldn't throw around "I love u" casually with the person you are with until you actually love them).

She told me it wasn't serious, but I was angry so I sent her home.

Am I right in being angry about this?

tl;dr: Girlfriend texted her guy friend 😘😘. Am I right in being upset?

Tears In A Vial posted:

SatansOnion posted:

I feel old after reading that.

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. She moved in with me about a year ago, and it's led to rougher times for me. We rarely argue and overall we get along great.

But since we've lived together so many little things have come up that honestly have me worried about the future. I'm halfway venting here and halfway trying to assemble my feelings about all of this and decide if they're ridiculous or not.

Basically the issue is, it seems like at some point she missed out on a lot of necessary adult life skills. For some background, we split the rent and bills relative to what we make. She works full time but I do take care of most of the share. She's still trying to find the thing she wants to do. I don't harbor any negativity about that, I support and understand what that's like. I've been there. She graduated high school, lived with her parents through college, and then moved in with her last boyfriend for several years where he took care of everything. They split up, and we met a few months later and picked up from there. She's never paid a bill or lived on her own. Her childhood was a totally average, suburban upbringing and her parents are super nice people.

But it's a whole range of things. How to operate a can opener, how to put batteries in a remote control, how to empty the vacuum. How to write a check, how to use Turbotax, filling out basic forms on the internet. Not to put dishes covered in food in the dishwasher, don't dump grease down the sink, don't pour liquids in the trashcan, don't flush paper towels. I cook all the meals because every time I have seen her use a knife she winds up cutting herself. How do I set the alarm clock. How to budget finances. "How much money do you have and how much extra do you have, I can help you budget" "I don't know really".

I could go on for a while here, but it's just simple tasks and if something doesn't work immediately, or I say "I don't think that's the right way..." she gets frustrated. It's rare that I go an hour at home without her needing help with something, and it usually ends up being stuff that internally I'm asking myself "How...do you not know how to do this? You're 27." I don't say it though. I don't point out something as being easy or simple either, because that leads to "well maybe it's simple for you but not for me" But really, it's using a can opener here people. She graduated from a good university. I can show her how to do something, and the next time it comes up she's asking again.

There are also issues with making decisions. I have tons of examples of this that I won't get into, but it's the relationship "Where do you want to eat?" "I don't know, where do you want to eat?" dilemma on steroids. I really don't like going to the grocery store with her. She'll spend a long time looking at two types of whatever, butter. "Which brand of butter do we want?" "Well, which one do we usually get?" "This one" "Let's get that one then." Repeat for basically every item we need to buy. I've just been doing the shopping myself after work for a while because I can get in and out in 20 minutes.

She came home about 2 months ago and told me her dad called, and said it was about time to think about her getting a new car. I agreed, her old one was coming up on 200k miles and was on it's last leg. "What kind of car do I want?" "Well, what's your budget looking like?" And this kicked off the whole thing. I ended up:

Making a budget
Deciding what kind of car is best (good mileage, you have a fairly long commute. no children, don't need lots of room)
Shopping around, going to dealers
Helping her get a loan, figuring out a plan
Getting insurance taken care of
Getting the vehicle registered
Getting the parking at her work registered (I had to do this)

The thing is, I don't know how to do these things off the top of my head either. I just google things and do research, and figure out problems. Sometimes she'll try to do something and then ask me for help, and I will. But most of the time she'll ask me for help or ask me to do something without even trying first. That's what's most frustrating to me.

We got into a sort of argument the other day. She asked if I could check her tire pressure and I said let's go, I'll show you how. You screw the cap off, put the gauge over the little nub and read the numbers. She couldn't get the nub to fit after a short time and she got upset. She said I probably think she's stupid and she doesn't like it when I try to show her how to do things because it makes her feel dumb. I'm not condescending, I'm really absolutely not. I'm genuinely trying to help.

None of these things are issues that are apparent when you're dating someone and having a good time, but it's stuff that surfaces after living together.

But honestly, I'm tired and I don't know what to do. These all seem like little, stupid piddly things. But over months and months, trust me it adds up. I wouldn't be posting this if it didn't add up. I need help sometimes in my life, just like everyone else. Every day I have times where I don't know what to do or what decisions to make. But I don't feel like I can ask her, because I never get anything back.

tl;dr: My girlfriend I've been living with for a year gets frustrated with decision making and basic tasks. I want to help, I'm not being condescending. I'm just tired of taking care of every little thing and it doesn't make me hopeful for the future.

quote:

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good poo poo go౦ԁ poo poo👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌poo poo right👌👌there
👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good poo poo go౦ԁ poo poo👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌poo poo right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good poo poo

Tom Gorman posted:

This one is heartbreaking and confusing because I'm in the exact situation and I also don't know what to do.

The best lesson is that the most attractive thing in another person is being able to depend on them.

Psycho Society posted:

How did you end up dating someone who has less intuition and problem solving skills than my 6 year old nephew? I'm being serious

Tom Gorman posted:

My [29m] girlfriend [27f] of 3 years gets easily frustrated with decision making and everyday tasks. It makes me feel unable to turn to her for help with anything.


This one is heartbreaking and confusing because I'm in the exact situation and I also don't know what to do.

The best lesson is that the most attractive thing in another person is being able to depend on them.

Tom Gorman posted:

Like the guy posted, you don't realize this poo poo until you're around them all the time. It's not stuff you have the window to pick up on when you're just going out.

But then you're together every day and suddenly it's baffling.

Pick posted:

How did she live before that then?

Regulation Size posted:

aww poo poo, I meant to post this:

30/m with 29/f for 1 month - Her dog is licking me during sex

Pick posted:

How did she live before that then?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

she's lazy and clearly figured out that she can just get the people around her to do poo poo for her.

InediblePenguin posted:

yeah and it is also a thing that has an actual meaning that isn't "learned to be helpless at everything like a loser" if you read your own link, nobody in this loving thread uses the term correctly (hint: the first paragraph of your link explains that it's about unlearning self-defense mechanisms and no longer even trying to escape from bad situations as a result of abuse that was experienced as so inescapable that the effort would be wasted, nothing to do with not learning to do useful daily life poo poo because other people do it for you)

InediblePenguin posted:

yeah and it is also a thing that has an actual meaning that isn't "learned to be helpless at everything like a loser" if you read your own link, nobody in this loving thread uses the term correctly (hint: the first paragraph of your link explains that it's about unlearning self-defense mechanisms and no longer even trying to escape from bad situations as a result of abuse that was experienced as so inescapable that the effort would be wasted, nothing to do with not learning to do useful daily life poo poo because other people do it for you)

InediblePenguin posted:

yeah and it is also a thing that has an actual meaning that isn't "learned to be helpless at everything like a loser" if you read your own link, nobody in this loving thread uses the term correctly (hint: the first paragraph of your link explains that it's about unlearning self-defense mechanisms and no longer even trying to escape from bad situations as a result of abuse that was experienced as so inescapable that the effort would be wasted, nothing to do with not learning to do useful daily life poo poo because other people do it for you)

Jeza posted:

They are right that that is not a case of learned helplessness, and that to call it so somewhat trivialises what is usually a result of serious trauma. I dunno, it's probably fine. But it's a bit borderline

quote:

First, a little bit of a background.

This is my first semester of my first year in uni, and I'm in a room with 'Emma' as my only roommate (she spent one year in another university before transferring here). Our fathers are friends, so I try to be extra nice to her for the sake of their relationship. She's not interested in being buddy-buddy with me, which is no problem, I just want things to be cool enough between us so we're not enemies.

Anyway, since exams start at the end of the month, Emma formed a study group. They're three people altogether, and I know the other two from class; they're okay. They meet on Saturdays in our room. The first Saturday was pretty weird because I didn't know about it until they knocked on the door. They (a boy and a girl) were nice enough, but the atmosphere was awkward for me, so I went to my parents' house on campus.

I formed my own study group soon after; we're six people so we meet in my parents' house, since they're barely home, leaving the room free for Emma and her friends. I thought it was a pretty good plan.

This recent Saturday though, a fourth member joined the group. Let's call him 'Andy'. Andy is an annoying person who doesn't know when he's going too far. Unfortunately, he has enough charisma that people let him get away with a whole bunch of crap.

I went home this Saturday, but not for studies, my mother was sick so I went to take care of her. I told Emma of my plans before I left. So as I'm home watching my mom, I get a text from Andy saying 'thanks for the 7up Vanessa I enjoyed it lol'.

After a quick text back he said he saw the soda in my provisions drawer and Emma said he could take some so he did. Well, I was absolutely LIVID. I told him that if I don't get a replacement by Monday he's no longer welcome in my room. (That was a bit of a lie, he's no longer welcome regardless). He laughed it off and didn't answer me, so I doubt I'll get anything from him, not even an apology.

The question is: How do I deal with Emma?

I left my things in her care, in her trust, and she broke that trust by choosing to please an obnoxious classmate over making sure my things were safe. I know it's a small thing, but I'm feeling very betrayed and belittled here. I'm by no means a pushover, but I guess she's mistaken my friendliness for it.

I'm thinking of telling her that she needs to move her group studies to another location, because I no longer trust her to keep my things safe. I'm also planning on telling her group members they aren't welcome either. Is there a firm but non offensive way I can frame all that? Am I overreacting?

PS: Emma just came back from church, so I'm just going to act busy until I get my thoughts together.
tl;dr: My roommate gave someone one of my cans of soda without asking, broke my trust in the process. How do I establish my boundaries?

quote:

I'm friends with a girl I share numerous interests with. There is nothing that points to her beeing abnormal in any way and although she is slightly eccentric, she is good to spend time with. However, three weeks ago the following occured: i was at her place and she went to the bathroom. When i wandered around in the room i was in, i could see that the bathroom door was only half closed and that my friend was sitting on the toilet, audibly peeing. I thought that the door had come open accidentially and quickly went away but then she started talking to me. A few days later, i visited her again and while we were in the main room of her flat, she suddenly said "excuse me for a minute", went into the bathroom and placed herself on the toilet without closing the door. As she had sat down, she looked up towards me and i looked back. Her pants were at her feet, but her genital area was covered by her shirt. But looking at her from a 45°-angle, her butt was completely visible. She continies our conversation as if nothing was strange while peeing. When i asked her, why she left the door open, she said that she doesn't like enclosing herself and that i didn't have to look if it disturbed me. She then wiped and returned as if this was normal. This repeated itself a few times with the next weeks. She apparently stopped caring if her shirt covered her genital area and seemed to spread her legs while on the toilet. From this, i now not only know how her labia looks, i also learned that girls don't pee straight downwards as i thought but rather into a down-forward direction. She never said anything about me beeing able to see her. When i tried to tell her to stop, she defended her behaviour and said that guys were peeing openly into urinals so she didn't know why females shouls hide.

How can i get her to close the door when she goes to the bathroom? I didn't dare to ask other people if she leaves the toilet door open around them. She is generally a nice person, but i would prefer her not to do this, just as she did before she started leaving the door open.

tl;dr: My friend leaves the toilet door open when i am around which is awkward.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Me [18F] with my roomate [19F] of three months, she crossed a major line.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Me [18F] with my roomate [19F] of three months, she crossed a major line.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Me [18F] with my roomate [19F] of three months, she crossed a major line.

Dreqqus posted:

loquacius posted:

If my roommate gave away a single can of my soda I would be mildly annoyed

I'm trying to estimate the exact size of the stick up this person's rear end and having a little trouble

monkeytennis posted:

If this is an interesting story I'd love a link.