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It's like those "stress relief" massagers you can buy where the picture on the box shows a young woman rubbing it on her neck. Well, it's no wonder she's so stressed, her aim's terrible!
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Nov 10, 2016 08:17
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RZA Encryption posted:Well you wouldn't plug it in!! Pussy.
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Nov 10, 2016 08:24
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Gorilla Salad posted:It's like those "stress relief" massagers you can buy where the picture on the box shows a young woman rubbing it on her neck. It takes a lifetime of experience to be able to point your dick or a dick shaped object at something and hit your target. That's why the space rockets have old guys at the wheel trying to connect the dick shaped rocket onto the docking station, which is also dick shaped, but more like a chode because its wider than it is long.
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Nov 10, 2016 09:17
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Tiny Lowtax posted:Sorry you don't know what panties being pulled down looks like Or how to identify legs. There being one on either side of the crotch.
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Nov 10, 2016 09:20
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Sponge Baathist posted:because its wider than it is long. Did they try putting it on its side?
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Nov 10, 2016 10:20
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Solice Kirsk posted:That's like winterizing it right? more like vulcanizing 
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Nov 10, 2016 13:16
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Splizwarf posted:more like vulcanizing You mean leaving it without feeling?
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Nov 10, 2016 13:34
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KozmoNaut posted:You mean leaving it without feeling? When Mister Spock has sex, he uses a vulcanised rubber.
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Nov 10, 2016 13:58
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Jedit posted:When Mister Spock has sex, he uses a vulcanised rubber. so many sad, childless years, hoping and praying that somewhere, somehow, someday, you would get to say this joke
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Nov 10, 2016 14:27
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RZA Encryption posted:Well you wouldn't plug it in!! Might be nice to have hot sex for once.
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Nov 10, 2016 16:54
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Picnic Princess posted:Maybe if you want to cauterize your vagina shut. You big shots ain't gonna tell me what I can and can't do with my vagina!
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Nov 10, 2016 18:43
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tacodaemon posted:You big shots ain't gonna tell me what I can and can't do with my vagina! I think you are not going to enjoy Trumps America.
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Nov 10, 2016 18:55
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This exchange of words is why I keep browsing this forum. 
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Nov 10, 2016 19:16
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Being one of the older posters here, I can admit to liking a little brush as long as it's well maintained
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Nov 10, 2016 20:50
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Picnic Princess posted:Maybe if you want to cauterize your vagina shut. It's like birth control for stupid people!
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Nov 11, 2016 01:01
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NoneMoreNegative posted:Being one of the older posters here, I can admit to liking a little brush as long as it's well maintained Ok
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Nov 11, 2016 04:33
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Tiny Lowtax posted:That's nice, dear. 
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Nov 11, 2016 04:44
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Karate Bastard posted:Pussy. Ok, you can plug it into that, but it shouldn't go in the power outlet.
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Nov 11, 2016 05:10
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holy poo poo i just recalled my 3 older cousins discussing female anatomy in i wanna say 1992. for some reason i was present even though i was like 11 the two "cool" cousins were like, "its like a bowling ball, there's 3 holes you see?" and the nerdier cousin was like "well i can kinda see the 2 holes, but idk the 3rd one???" i wanted to attach a pic of a "suggestive bowling ball" cause i figured some idiot woulda made a funny, but holy hell dont go there
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Nov 11, 2016 05:17
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Powaqoatse posted:suggestive bowling ball quote:Madame Alexina began to tease the bowling ball, tracing little circles around the finger holes. The shell was becoming steadily more translucent, the interior less dark, more liquid. Hesitantly, Madame Alexina slid her fingertips ever so slightly into the holes and, emboldened by the lack of resistance, began to probe ever more deeply and vigorously. ... As Madame Alexina’s pace quickened and her fingers grew more confident, the inky depths grew ever weaker, until, in a moment, the bowling ball surrendered itself—transparent, exposed, and vulnerable.
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Nov 11, 2016 05:23
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Gorilla Salad posted:It's like those "stress relief" massagers you can buy where the picture on the box shows a young woman rubbing it on her neck. I appreciate this post.
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Nov 11, 2016 05:24
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ugh yeesh That guy is probably both my cool & not cool teenage cousins combined, but in the body of an old man. g
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Nov 11, 2016 05:31
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Nov 13, 2016 20:53
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Sorry about your mutant bulbous dicklet
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Nov 13, 2016 21:23
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freeedr posted:Sorry about your mutant bulbous dicklet I yam what I yam.
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Nov 13, 2016 21:24
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It's about girth, not length.
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Nov 13, 2016 21:34
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Nov 13, 2016 22:21
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I found it particularly ironic, my lord, because I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip... I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children.
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Nov 13, 2016 22:43
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Pick posted:I found it particularly ironic, my lord, because I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip... I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children. It's not funny when you make the joke because I can see you actually owning a preserved walrus dong or such.
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Nov 14, 2016 00:49
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Nov 14, 2016 00:55
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Does it count when it's intentional?
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Nov 14, 2016 00:57
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Holy shitsnacks, those are some crapcakes!
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Nov 15, 2016 05:56
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Nov 16, 2016 09:02
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Fill 'er up?
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Nov 17, 2016 02:48
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This is where the hose goes.
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Nov 17, 2016 03:13
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Not the best examples but they both caught me scrolling by, 
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Nov 17, 2016 05:22
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Nov 21, 2016 07:14
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Nov 21, 2016 08:47
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Wood.
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Nov 21, 2016 14:37
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This one totally got me. I was in the middle of making a post asking if this dude was just straight up naked when I saw it.
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Nov 21, 2016 15:24
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