tactlessbastard posted:

Right after we had our second child I came home from work, went to daycare #1 and picked up the two year old and drove right by daycare #2 on the way home and got all the way home before noticing the empty car seat. It's easy to do, and boy oh boy do shrill old biddies who are 40 years removed from having to raise small children act like it is an inexcusable lapse.

kuddles posted:

Oh my god, I can totally see that guy's entire immediate future in my head and it's a perfect cliché. Move to a new city where you don't know anybody other than a girl you are pining for. Offer to be a confidant where she can bitch about her boyfriend while he hopes she changes her mind about him. Eventually grow more resentful and broken as a human.

This is all assuming that just moving there doesn't immediately creep her out.

quote:

A bit of backstory, I am from puerto rico and my wife is from suburban Kansas city. I moved to nyc in 1984 and she moved here at 18 for college and fell in love with the city. We actually met at a bar and had a one night stand... and she got pregnant. At first we wanted her to get an abortion, but we kinda fell in love at first one-night-stand and got married when our son was 3 months old.

We are VERY VERY different people. I am from the south bronx and grew up extremely rough, I got into fights, have gotten stabbed, gotten shot at... not a great upbringing. I wasn't the worst kid but my friends were truly bad people, but i mostly got out of that lifestyle by the time i met her.

So basically, we've raised our son and have had our ups and downs but we are both successful at our jobs and what not. But in the past year or two, her attitude towards certain things have changed. Here's just a list of what I'm talking about :

•She refuses to eat gluten. This should give you a staple of the stereotype she fits into now.
•She is now 100% vegan and gets extremely mad when we eat meat in the house.
•She goes to yoga 3 times a week and cries when we don't want to go with her
•She suddenly doesnt like movies with violence or drugs or partying... she gets extremely protective of our son about this.
•She doesnt let our son hang out with his friends sometimes because the friends are too 'rowdy' and come from 'uncultured' families.
•She doesnt let our son bike around the neighborhood with his friends at all, she needs to constantly be with him when he is hanging out.
•She literally took his ipod and CHANGED THE MUSIC TO WHAT SHE CONSIDERS GOOD MUSIC. This consists of justin timberlake and mumford and sons, macklemore, taylor swift type stuff mostly. Our son liked electronic dance music and metal a lot. This was one of the worst things she did in my opinion.
•She thinks that I am too 'masculine' in the way I act and constantly tries to correct the way I act, saying I have toxic masculinity in me. She uses this near constantly when I tell her I don't like how she babies our son.
•She calls the cops on basically any crime she sees, including one time when we walked by a house party and she called the cops because 'underaged drinking was happening' and she wants to keep her community safe. One time she also called the cops because a few spanish teens were playing soccer in the street and she just 'assumed' they were up to no good. That made me insanely upset.

Honestly this is just the tip of the iceberg. This has been her for the past 2-3 years and we have gotten into near constant arguments about this. I tell her she is too sensitive about nearly everything and then she goes off on rants and tries to show me all these weird articles about how what I am doing is gaslighting her...

She also is trying really, really hard to act 'young'. Like she goes to indie shows in williamsburg filled with 22 year old hipsters and tries to chat people up to make friends. Then when she gets rejected or something like that from those indie circles, she comes home and cries in my arms and is depressed for days. She wants so badly to be apart of that crowd, she seems to have anxiety and depression issues. I do honestly feel bad for her, she keeps up this insane persona, she describes herself as a modern day hippy, she spends all her time checking out 'new cafes and brunch spots' with her friends.

I know how this started, she got a job at this new office filled with young yuppies. Basically right after that she changed into this, I think to keep up with her co workers, but its clearly turned into something much more devastating and self-esteem damaging than that. I just want her to be herself, not this crazy person trying to perfect everything around her to fit her world view.

Interestingly enough If you have ever seen S3E1 of Black Mirror, she reminds me INSANELY of the main character of that episode, but more willing to disrupt everything around her to fit what she wants, even if it inconveniences others. But this is all recent. She was never like this 4 years ago, she was just a regular working woman who liked to relax and hang out and didnt taken much seriously like she does now. We used to get drunk at dive bars together, we used to party a bit even.

It all hit a bad point about a week ago when my son, who also has been in conflict with her nearly constantly, got into a major argument with her. The argument was over whether he can hang out with his friends who were outside, and she said no because there were too many of them and she thought it was bad to hang out in such large groups. This is the type of poo poo she thinks about. I know she REALLY didnt want him out there because the kids were mostly black and spanish... but he is half puerto rican. He got so mad he took dishes and began shattering them on the ground, then he left, and didn't come back for 5 hours while my wife hysterically cried and called the cops to find him. Since then, he is not allowed to leave the house, and my wife has cried nightly for 'losing' our son. She has become extra horrible towards me and my son, she thinks I am on his side simply because I tried to defend him and say she was overreacting. But everytime I say she is overreacting she has a breakdown and says I am just doing what men do to women...

I don't even know what to do anymore. I know that this isn't her. I know that she has developed some serious mental problems in the past 2-3 years... I know this isn't normal for her. I don't want to divorce her, but I'm not sure if I can handle this any longer. She has broken down, she is in bed crying nearly all day. She will sometimes go off yelling at me that I am the 'epitome of toxic masculinity' and then an hour later be crying in my arms saying she loves me more than anything. Is this some type of personality disorder? Does she need therapy? What can I say to make her calm down? I was thinking about writing a heartfelt letter about the way she has been acting, that way she cant interrupt me like she usually does with the screaming. I don't want to argue, I just want to make my point and have her respond. But I dont want to seem as if i disapprove of her entire lifestyle and everything she has done. What the hell do I do? I feel so passive in this situation. And she goes NUTS when she sees me acting completely normal while she is crying or yelling or whatnot, as if everytime she is acting crazy, I have to act crazy too about whatever she is crazy about at the moment. What the gently caress do i do?? I do not want a divorce, I want to help her, we both still very much love each other despite this madness.

tl;dr: Wife is becoming insanely controlling and is trying to warp our family to her crazy way of life. Recently our son got into a massive argument and broke stuff in the house and since then she has fallen off the iceberg of insanity. I do not want a divorce.

quote:

•She literally took his ipod and CHANGED THE MUSIC TO WHAT SHE CONSIDERS GOOD MUSIC. This consists of justin timberlake and mumford and sons, macklemore, taylor swift type stuff mostly.

Xarthor posted:

I feel like this post would be written by Ricky Ricardo if "I Love Lucy" was set in 2016

My (37M) wife (36F) is turning into an absolute hippy psycho person and me and my son (12M) cant stand it anymore.

Khorne posted:

Lucie would be the one smashing dishes. Not the son.

Did he have blinders on for the past decade while she transformed into this person?

Pvt.Scott posted:

Never move for a relationship, unless it's one you've been in for years and plan on keeping. Love chemistry makes us dumb as hell, though.

Xarthor posted:

I feel like this post would be written by Ricky Ricardo if "I Love Lucy" was set in 2016

My (37M) wife (36F) is turning into an absolute hippy psycho person and me and my son (12M) cant stand it anymore.

MarquiseMindfang posted:

It's like she found a religion, only instead of a religion, it was hipsters and bullshit.

Jack Trades posted:

They should try polyamory.

quote:

Back around September I got my first proper job and moved out of my parents house so I could be closer to work as they live in the country, and was lucky enough to find a spare room in a flat not 10 minutes walk away from my new office. I was glad/surprised to find somewhere so near for so little as it's a really popular area of my city. Turns out that the reason it's so cheap is because the room was effectively a cupboard; you can barely squeeze between the wardrobe and the desk it's so small. Either way, there's nothing better in such a good location and I can't commute from my parents as my old car finally died, so I decide to rent the place anyway. For a week or so everything seems fine, my four other housemates are definitely 'nerdier' than people I'd hang out with, playing Pokémon cards/40k, using the term 'Kawaii' and being super into cartoons like Adventure Time and Steven Universe etc and none of them drink. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course, I even dug up some of my old 40k models from my attic to play with them and really enjoyed myself, its just that from the start I could see that we were really different people.

The problem comes with two of them who I'll call Ben and Erin. Ben and Erin are a couple and have a cat which they mentioned in the ad which I really didn't mind as i have a cat at my parents place and missed her when I was at uni anyway. Difference is, where my cat goes to the toilet outside, they don't let their cat outside at all, and so it uses a litter tray in the communal bathroom. I wouldn't even mind this, but it hardly ever seems to be cleared and it makes the whole house reek of cat piss/poo poo, and Erin/Ben have an en-suite bathroom in their bedroom that they could put it in. They can't even claim that they cant smell it, as they spend most of their time downstairs in the living room which directly connects to the kitchen and then the bathroom. It's gotten so bad that if I'm in I basically burn insense to keep the smell away.

As a lot of my friends still live in the country I offered to let one stay sleep on my sofa last Saturday night after going out as public transport stops at 11pm. I'd left on Thursday morning to see my Mum and Dad as I was off work, as we came in the smell was so bad my friend actually physically recoiled. I went into the bathroom and I swear to god the litter tray hadn't been cleaned since I left, and my friend ended up curled up on my tiny floor rather than face a night with the stench downstairs.

The next day I decied to challenge Ben on it, only for him to try turn it round on me for being messy and having weed in the house. Now, this is definitely true as anyone I shared a house with at uni will attest, but I generally try to keep communal areas clean as best as I can, and admittedly cat turd mountains aside, they are generally a lot cleaner than I am. I do also smoke weed and keep my stash in my room (never more than 4 grams), I never smoke inside the house or even in the garden, and I really don't feel that it's the same as making 2 thirds of the house inhale cat poo poo every time we want to bathe or brush our teeth. I then asked that could move the tray to their own bathroom which apparently wasn't possible as their en-suite was too small, so I asked if they at least try to clean the litter tray more often. He said that they'll try but tbh I really doubt that I'll see a difference.

Basically, am I overreacting? This really doesn't feel like something i should have to put up with. Also, while this may cross into /r/legaladvice sould I complain about them to the letting agent about this?

Tldr: rented house with strangers. Strangers own cat. Cat shits in communal bathroom despite owners having their own bathroom. Owners never clean up their cat poo poo. Whole house stinks.

A Moose posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5d5tg4/my_29f_mom_58f_is_badmouthing_me_to_the_rest_of/

My [29F] mom [58F] is badmouthing me to the rest of the family because we're choosing not to have kids. She's now escalated to contacting my employer.Non-Romantic

Chichevache posted:

She has been corrupted by Tzeentch.

Curdy Lemonstan posted:

That hippie gluten wife sound like stdh to me.

It really does capture every fear I have about committing and getting married in one fine post

Syncopated posted:

I agree, it doesn't add up. Why would hipster mom fill the kid's ipod (also, which kid has an ipod these days?) with Bieber and Swift instead of whatever Brooklyn hipsters listen to?

lohli posted:

Me [20 M] with my first love [19 F] 7 years, and I am confused.


That and the comments is basically him asking people to tell him that he's right to pursue the person he's infatuated with despite only a brief encounter being told she's not interested.

Jenner posted:

The Changer of Ways actually does cool poo poo. Not this hosed up hippy bullshit.

Also his wife does not have the head of a vulture.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

http://www.movin925.com/brooke-jubal-in-the-morning/2nd-date-update/

This is a segment of some radio show where they call people blowing off their second dates and wondering why. There's some great material in there.

This is a great one and I think the dude here really dodged a bullet

http://www.movin925.com/2016/11/11/second-date-update-podcast-you-not-jelly/

Tender Bender posted:

Can't listen because I'm at work but most of these are fake with actors who hire out to radio stations. I used to get a kick out of the radio version of /relationships meltdowns until I found this out

Whorelord posted:

Title is much more interesting than the actual post, still gross af tho

My [21m] Housemates [20f] [21m] Are Forcing Me to Huff Cat poo poo

stump collector posted:

i'd much rather smell like poo poo out of spite than spend 5-10 minutes cleaning something. such is the way of the bushido

quote:

Me [26 M] with girl I wanted to date [25F] but she ended up sleeping with my best friend [26m] now upset with me because I don't want to date her

Wall of text incoming. You can skip to tl;dr but even that ended up being a little long.

This is going to sound like a lot of high school bullshit and really it is.

Back story is this. A group of friends and mine eat at a local pub once a week during football season and have done so for about 3 years.

A new waitress started working there in July (before the season started but we eat there sometimes outside of game day). She was a knockout, beautiful brunette with really blue eyes. She starts waiting our table and she is very friendly. No big deal, its a waitresses job to be friendly so I never think anything about it.

We come back in pre-season and she is still there and once again get our table. This time since we are there for a few hours to watch the game she spends a lot of time with us and she talks with me a lot. Now honestly I'm not the greatest at picking up on social cues, I always just assume that the wait staff is just trying to get an extra tip. But my friends in the past have told me I have blown opportunities when they say a girl was hitting on me so I kind of take a leap of faith here and I ask her if I can text her sometime.

We exchange numbers and we start doing some very casual texting. Thursday of that week I have a client in town that I have to entertain for the night and well I thought I'd try my luck and see if she was there. Bingo, she's working and take our table all is good.

Again she goes out of her way to stick around and talk with us, we came in late so they were closing and she came over and sat with us for awhile. Again I think things are going great.

I text her the next day and tell her how happy I was to see her and she returns the feelings on this.

Well Sunday comes we are there and once again she is there. Things go the exact same way so by this time I have really started to think that we are both leading towards something and I just decide that after the game I will ask her if she will go out with me sometime.

Of course I do this away from everyone so as to not look creepy or anything. She turns me down flat. She say's that I have misread her and she enjoys talking and texting with me but she is not interested in seeing me in that way.

Ouch.

I'm a big boy, I apologize for misreading the situation and tell her that I won't trouble her again. Hey you swing you miss, it happens. I was not upset other than what you typically will feel when you get flat out rejected like that, but that's just life.

A couple of weeks go by and she was not at work for the first game, which if I'm being honest i was a little relieved about. But she was there for the second one.

This is when one of my friends "Derrick" leans over and tells me "hey man you see that waitress there, I've been tapping that now for about 2 weeks".

Okay this all makes some sense now, she was just being friendly around me to get with Derrick, it sucks but hey its life. Now I happen to know that Derrick is a real douche canoe when it comes to women, he is a player and he sticks with them a month or two and then moves on. I like him as a guy but bluntly speaking I'm just not that way so it kind of bugs me when he does that because in the past myself and a few of the other guys have been caught in his damatic shitstorm when he runs into a woman who does not take kindly to this.

Anyway I just totally put the whole thing out of my mind until about 2 weeks ago. Derrick as I knew he would dumped her. It really kind of upset some of the guys because he did this with a person where we go to frequently so this is going to be awkward for everyone.

Sure as poo poo she is there when we come in but she did not take our table. It was very obvious that she traded off. However at half time of the game she catches me coming out of the bathroom and she starts chatting me up. I reply to her as I would any other time and then I return to the game.

Then on Monday I get a text from her telling me how great it was to talk to me yesterday. I just replied back "good talking to you as well".

That was it or so I thought. Then all of a sudden she starts texting me every day several times a day. Sometimes I don't even reply to her. Then the next Sunday she is once again working our table but she is totally focusing on me this time and pretty much just gives polite conversation to anyone else.

Then when we were all leaving she runs up to me as says "aren't you even going to say goodbye", which confused the poo poo out of me.

So I told her goodbye and she say's to me "hey I've been thinking about you a lot lately and I really would like to go out with you sometime". At this point I kind of had a feeling that this is where this was headed so I just simply told her "yea, sorry but once someone tells me that they aren't interested in me then I try and move for my own sanity and that the ship had kind of sailed for that".

She gave me kind of a disgusted grunt and turned and left.

It's over right? Wrong.

The next day I get a wall of text that was fluctuated between anger and apologizing.

Basically she said she spoke with Derrick after I rejected her and she found out that I knew about them. She then went into this long rant about how it was wrong for me to "slut shame her" for being with someone else when we were not even a couple. How that it was unfair that I really liked her but now that I found out she was with one of my friends that she was "dirty".

I'll spare you the rest because it was a train wreck with her ending up apologizing for everything she said at the end.

I sent back a very short response to her telling her that her dating Derrick had nothing to do with any of it. That her telling me that she did not think of me that way was the reason for all of it and now I didn't think of her that way.

She then sent several texts trying to explain herself and ultimately I just ignored all of them because honestly she sounded like a dumpster fire.

I eventually just texted her back and said at the end of the day she is an employee of a place I frequent and that is the relationship that we have.

This did not go over well so I blocked her phone.

Now WTF do I do about this sunday? As far as I'm concerned I've been going there a lot longer than she worked there, we were never a couple so I do not feel like I need to avoid the place.

So if she has any form of attitude or badgers me do I tell her manager or should I try and get everyone to move to a different location?

It would be one thing if I did what Derrick did but in the end for some reason I'm the bad guy and I've never even been out with this woman but I'm some sexist pig because she slept with one of my friends and now she thinks that is the reason I don't want to date her.

tl;dr: Met waitress who was hot and thought we made a connection but I was wrong, she shot me down. No big deal I move on, one of my friends starts sleeping with her and as is par for his course dumps her after about a month. She then tries to hit me up again and this time I reject her, she flips her poo poo because she say's I'm sexist for rejecting her because she had sex with one of my friends. This was not the reason but now I'm afraid to go to my local pub.

Gaunab posted:

Pick posted:

Dude seems like he's doing the right thing, she seems like a nut.