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OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

Jerusalem posted:

Will CM Punk fight before America gets a new President? Place your bets now!

We get a new president in 2 months so I'll say no he doesnt.

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Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

he'll probably fight before donald trump gets impeached in 2018

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

What's all this about CM Punk becoming the new POTUS?

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

WrasslorMonkey posted:

What's all this about CM Punk becoming the new POTUS?

Best President in the world!!!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

exploded mummy posted:

We get a new president in 2 months so I'll say no he doesnt.

Obama gonna tell Trump he needs back surgery and has to put off the inauguration another few months.

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

#MickeyGall2020

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Baron Corbyn posted:

#MickeyGall2020

he won't even be old enough to be a senator in 2020

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

go to a hickville Z League, Punk. Wreck dudes with sadface.jpg stomachs.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

IcePhoenix posted:

he won't even be old enough to be a senator in 2020

Jokey jokes are a thing. Much like CM Punk's MMA career :roflolmao:

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

bradzilla posted:

Jokey jokes are a thing. Much like CM Punk's MMA career :roflolmao:

Good jokes are based in reality :colbert:

Much like CM Punk's MMA Career!

Auron
Jan 10, 2002
<img alt="" border="0" src="https://fi.somethingawful.com/customtitles/title-auron.jpg"/><br/>Drunken Robot Rage

Put him on a fight pass card, there's nothing to lose and you might pick up a few thousand subs, even it its only for a month.

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

IcePhoenix posted:

he won't even be old enough to be a senator in 2020

As if Trump won't have changed the law to allow Barron to become the youngest ever senator by then.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


quote:

Former WWE champion turned UFC fighter CM Punk is back training for a sophomore appearance in The Ultimate Fighting Champonship.

Punk's trainer Duke Roufus acknowledged that Punk was back training during an appearance on the "MMA Hour" with Ariel Helwani yesterday.

Punk had previously disclosed that he and UFC's Dana White had a conversation where Punk made it clear he intended to keep pursuing MMA after his loss to Mickey Gall this past September at UFC 203.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
So why he doesnt quit the ufc and go to bellator or some z list organization? He might have the star power but he was trashed in his fight.

david carmichael
Oct 28, 2011

DoctorGonzo posted:

So why he doesnt quit the ufc and go to bellator or some z list organization? He might have the star power but he was trashed in his fight.

Why would the ufc release him from his contract so he could go make a competitor a bunch more money? They can just let him get destroyed a few times and then by the time his contract is up he will be worthless to anyone else

manyak
Jan 26, 2006
The UFC is just as capable as Bellator/whoever of hiring a really lovely fighter for CM punk to fight if they want him to win

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I hope Punks gets to be a better ufc man but in the meantime he should get is rear end kicked.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Probably not the easiest solution, but they could make Punk a celebrity fight ambassador or some poo poo. Send him to feds on Fight Pass to fight their schlubs. Anyone good enough to be worth getting under UFC contact is already light years ahead of Punk's skillset.

Sprecherscrow
Dec 20, 2009
I think a better idea would be to just put him on PPV again and see if he still pushes the buyrate needle and makes them money like he did before he got beat up instead of any of this goofy poo poo.

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Make em fight Dolph Lundgren

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

That DICK! posted:

Make em fight the green power ranger

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.
Punk's gonna win his next UFC fight

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

Bubba Smith posted:

Punk's gonna win his next UFC fight

i think he'll win his third. whether its because they find an opponent green enough for him to beat or because hes developed enough as a fighter/. basically Im just guessing though, maybe he wont ever get any better.

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa
If they can sign a Mike Jackson to lose to Mickey Gall they can sign a Mike Jackson to lose to CM Punk

1st AD
Dec 3, 2004

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.

DannoMack posted:

If they can sign a Mike Jackson to lose to Mickey Gall they can sign a Mike Jackson to lose to CM Punk

It even fits in with the UFC's matchmaking ethos - winners vs winners and losers vs losers.

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

coconono posted:

Probably not the easiest solution, but they could make Punk a celebrity fight ambassador or some poo poo. Send him to feds on Fight Pass to fight their schlubs. Anyone good enough to be worth getting under UFC contact is already light years ahead of Punk's skillset.

To get into the Ultimate Fighter house you have to beat CM Punk. In an Octagon, comic book shop, Whole Foods, doesn't matter where just as long as there's a camera running.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat

BGrifter posted:

To get into the Ultimate Fighter house you have to beat CM Punk. In an Octagon, comic book shop, Whole Foods, doesn't matter where just as long as there's a camera running.

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy

The UFC should have done this between Holloway and Pettis (and every main from now on) because if it's halfway as entertaining as Booker/Austin in a Publix then they'd pop massive buyrates

Have McGregor's next fight be in a church. Make Mickey Gall prove himself in a bingo hall fight.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
I joked about Punk's next opponent being Fred Ettish, but I'd pay to see that.

Stealth Tiger
Nov 14, 2009

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

The UFC should have done this between Holloway and Pettis (and every main from now on) because if it's halfway as entertaining as Booker/Austin in a Publix then they'd pop massive buyrates

Have McGregor's next fight be in a church. Make Mickey Gall prove himself in a bingo hall fight.

My first exposure to CM Punk came years before he was in the WWE when he took part in a falls count anywhere match that went into the strip club next door to the bingo hall the match started in. I knew he was a star right about the time he swung around the pole to deliver a kick. It is only right that things come full circle.

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005

I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!

Fallen Rib

Stealth Tiger posted:

My first exposure to CM Punk came years before he was in the WWE when he took part in a falls count anywhere match that went into the strip club next door to the bingo hall the match started in. I knew he was a star right about the time he swung around the pole to deliver a kick. It is only right that things come full circle.

And then screamed "YOU'RE A WHORE" at a Stripper

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat
I would love a 24/7 Hardcore UFC Title. People just coming out of nowhere to legit beat the poo poo out of someone.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


BROCK LESBIAN posted:

I would love a 24/7 Hardcore UFC Title. People just coming out of nowhere to legit beat the poo poo out of someone.

title matches must be contested behind schools, in alleys, and/or at barbecues.

a retard
Jan 7, 2013

by Lowtax

Say Nothing posted:

I joked about Punk's next opponent being Fred Ettish, but I'd pay to see that.

fred ettish has actually won a fight though

-Atom-
Sep 13, 2003

Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Bubba Smith posted:

Punk's gonna win his next UFC fight

Short of them just signing someone straight out of a UFC gym I really don't see it

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


BROCK LESBIAN posted:

I would love a 24/7 Hardcore UFC Title. People just coming out of nowhere to legit beat the poo poo out of someone.

I firmly support the inevitable Tank Abbott title run.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

-Atom- posted:

Short of them just signing someone straight out of a UFC gym I really don't see it

Lets never forget they thought Sage Northcutt was too good for CM Punk.

Malcolm Excellent
May 20, 2007

Buglord

Lid posted:

Lets never forget they thought Sage Northcutt was too good for CM Punk.

Super Sage is an INHUMAN KILLING MACHINE

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Sage would murder Punk dead

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


We'll find out when Sage fights Gall in 2 days

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