Tender Bender posted:

I dunno why they're jumping right to surgery instead of a position that makes sense.

Pvt.Scott posted:

9+ months of healing for nipple piercings? Is that even a sane estimate?

E; FB

MorgaineDax posted:

I'm not posting the whole thing, because it's too depressing and he might end up deleting it. But a guy has been posting for the past month about how his wife was cheating on him, and he didn't know if he should leave or stay for the sake of his kids.



He posted this meme, and finally decided to ask for a divorce two weeks ago. Then he posted an update this morning that consisted of this link.

I wanted a better update.

quote:

Hello.

I was in a long distance relationship - and it was beautiful.

I live in Ireland, and she lived in California, USA. It happened two years ago, she was 32, i was 26. We met on a Facebook page that showcased lovely images from the 1950s. The image i commented on was of a man and woman in love during the 1950s.

I commented, "I remember in my last (in the 1950s) life embracing my wife just like this."

A few weeks went by then i received a notification that i had some messages in my 'other' inbox on Facebook, so out of curiosity i decided to see what they were. After looking through about twenty spam messages - about to give up, then i noticed a message from a woman that was so beautiful that i refused to believe that she was real.

She told me how my comment resonated with her, as she also had a great love for everything vintage.

After months and months of calling each other via FaceTime and messaging everyday, we both knew we were in love with one another - and we truly were.

I wanted to give up my job and move to the USA and buy a house for us, so we could start a family. The house we wanted was a beautiful cottage in Carmel, Ca. A beautiful place by the sea.

Everything was perfect. Until...

The morning of August 4. I received a call letting me know that the father of her two children was back in town to visit. I didn't think anything of it - as it was his right to see his children.

All sound ok so far? Yes, it does.

Well, about 10 pm, her time, i received a FaceTime call. I was excited to see her face as i was working so hard that day. The best part of my day was seeing her face.

Anyways, i answered the call and i didn't see her. But i did hear the sound of two people making love. I couldn't believe what was happening, refuse to believe it. Then a few seconds later, i heard her talk during the love making - and knew exactly what was happening.

I immediately dropped the call. I may add that my heart dropped also.

The next morning she called me like nothing had happened, but i told her that i was going away for a few months working with my father - and that i didn't think it was going to work out between us. After a long conversation we both agreed that it was best that we stop all communications and focus on our own lives - as me being away wouldn't help the development of our relationship.

I didn't want to tell her what i heard during the FaceTime call as it's not in my style of grace to embarrass a woman like that. Especially a mother of two children.

So, that's my story.

On a side note: I wish everyone on this sub all the very best with their long distance relationships. Remember:

The one thing love requires is that we let others know they're not alone.

Soylent Grun posted:

If you guys need uplifting total trainwrecks and /relationships is too slow, /LongDistance is pretty good. Or pretty bad. https://reddit.com/r/LongDistance/

quote:

We live on different continents, met on vacation, inseperable ever since.

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Yeah that's kinda dumb, and all he really needs to ask is if they can switch positions to make things easier...hell, she's more than willing to fulfill his fantasy, so encourage her and let her know that she's great the way she is.

Soylent Grun posted:

If you guys need uplifting total trainwrecks and /relationships is too slow, /LongDistance is pretty good. Or pretty bad. https://reddit.com/r/LongDistance/

quote:

Me 24f and SO 23m drifting apart. How can we stop this? self.LongDistance

I will try to be brief and to the point but I tend to ramble. We are both christians and try to center our relationship around God so this is part of the story. Advice from this aspect and others welcome.
I am a 24 year old graduate student working a full time job and internship. Because if this I don't have the time to go to church as most of my working happens on the weekends. My pastors understand and still help me plug into God throughout the week.

My boyfriend is 23 and lives on the other side of the US but only a 1 hour time difference. I'm in the south, he's in the north. He works full time and is the youth leader at this church. We met online and really hit it off. Within a few weeks we knew we found something special. Before we officially met we were moving pretty fast. Making jokes about one day getting married and stuff like that. It was all said in a joking way.

Well a few months ago we met and he introduced me to his whole family as well as his youth group. I hit it off with everyone and his pastor gave us the official stamp of approval.

During our visit we went a little far and ended up having sex. We both recognized that it was WAY to early in our relationship for that and have been taking active steps to prevent that from happening again when he visits next month.

Okay, now back story. I was in a toxic non commitment relationship with a guy before I met my boyfriend. He would string me along and use sex to make me think that he loved me but really he was just using me. He was the closest thing I've ever had to a boyfriend and this relationship was on going for 6 years. About 2 months into talking to my now boyfriend I slipped up and slept with my ex. The night it happened I told my boyfriend that I hung out with my ex and that I had no feelings. I felt really guilty and like I had cheated but I didn't want to tell him.

About 3 weeks ago during conversation I told my boyfriend about what happened and since then our relationship has been breaking apart. He told me that he was hurt and upset but he knew we could get through it. We have had several conversations about it and I feel like for the most part we have. The only thing I'm concerned about now is the emotional distance between us. I feel like I'm not a priority anymore. Playing Madden gets picked over talking to me almost every night. Rarely does he ever tell me that he loves me first. Only when I say it and only sometimes will he respond. I used to get sweet text messages every few days, I haven't had a good morning since early October. His love language is physical touch and words of affirmation (so are mine) so I try and cater to that daily, but I am so tired. I feel like I'm the only one trying.

To make matters worse, the other night he face times me and tells me that he was praying about Gods will in our relationship and asked for a sign if this was His will. Now, I don't believe you should pray for signs but that's another post. He then goes on to tell me that right after he prays this, the girl he was talking to right before me texted him and he didn't know what it meant. It confused him as to if this was a sign or not. He assured me that he wasn't breaking up with me and that he loves me but that he's scared and worried that we went to fast. I agreed that maybe we did go to fast but I'm not sure how it's possible to slow down. We talked about where our real was headed and we are both on the same page when it comes to future goals. I asked him not to talk to this girl anymore because I'm afraid she will be a stumbling block in our relationship and he responded by asking me why he couldn't just talk to her as a friend. I was at a loss for words.

So, Reddit, please give me some advice. What do I do next? Leave it all in Gods hands? Talk to him about it? I feel like he's avoiding me. Please help.

MorgaineDax posted:

During our visit we went a little far and ended up having sex. We both recognized that it was WAY to early in our relationship for that and have been taking active steps to prevent that from happening again when he visits next month.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I just caught up with 100 posts. Tittyfuck guy should insist that no, it's only right that he gets penis reduction surgery for fantasy fulfillment purposes.

quote:

So a very close family friend (lets call her Jess) of mine has lost her mother but due to her being away from home to focus on her studies at uni she has not found out about it. Her father also warned me not to tell her about it because she has an exam to prepare for and he didn't want her mothers death to affect her grades. One of Jess' friends sent her condolences about her mothers death because she assumed Jess had already found out. Jess then called home to find out if what her friend told her was true but her dad lied about it and she ended up believing him replying that she was on the verge of fainting.

Today Jess has just finished her exams and it is also her birthday today, she hasn't spoken to her mom in weeks, she has not been eating regularly and she still thinks her mom is alive. To make matters worse her dad has postponed her return home to a later date than they had planned. When she arrives home her family plan to bury her mother the day after she comes home.
I haven't lost my parents or anyone that i'm close with before but from what I have seen from Jess' little sister I know that going through this is going to be painful, emotional and very stressful for her. I feel like her dad is not handling the way to tell her about this in the best way and his relationship with her is already on a thin thread from what I have heard from Jess when talking to her.

When Jess' mom died my family went to go and visit her family to support them and I feel like I didn't do a good job in doing that. When I arrived at their I could see that the family was grieving especially the younger sister but I had no idea what I could do to help, I'm not much of a talker so I couldn't think the right words to say and just watched my family comfort them. Jess who I have known practically all my life is coming home later this week and I know that the shock of losing her mom is going to hurt.

She will hate her dad for not telling her about it when he had the chance to but then again it was for the sake of her passing her exams. My parents have told me that I need to take time out of university to support her through all of this which is what I want to do but I don't really know how I can do that since I too have exams and deadlines that I need to prepare for.

tl;dr: Very close friend has lost her mom. Her friend mistakenly told her that her mom had died so she called her dad to make sure but was lied to that her mom was still alive so that she could focus on her upcoming exam. She is coming home this week to find out she would be attending her funeral the following day. I want to support her but I don't know how I would be able to do that as I have exams to prepare for and deadlines to meet at my university.

WampaLord posted:

loving at this line.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Who would even think to do poo poo like this? What the gently caress?

My [20 M] friend [20 F] lost her mom last week but she is not aware of her death.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Who would even think to do poo poo like this? What the gently caress?

My [20 M] friend [20 F] lost her mom last week but she is not aware of her death.

Jeza posted:

Can you imagine? Coming home on a high to find your whole family has covered up your mother's death, and you're burying her tomorrow. That's some diabolical poo poo.

quote:

My (32f) colleague (33f) was involved in a hit and run last night and called me for advice this morning.

My colleague was driving home from the bar drunk last night when she hit another vehicle and fled the scene. She was driving her boyfriend's car (which he drives for Uber). She panicked about it this morning on her way to work and called out of work at the last moment. Then she called me crying and asking for advice.

She doesn't remember any details about the wreck other than freaking out and leaving. She isn't sure if the other motorist was hurt. Her main concern was her boyfriend getting in trouble as she was driving his car.

I told her first to tell her boyfriend and then to contact the police. I told her today is going to suck and the immediate future is going to suck.

Reddit, i have zero experience with this kind of thing. Did I tell her the right thing? How might this affect her work availability in the immediate future? Or her employment in general? What legal ramifications will she face?

When she called out today she told our boss she was sick. I'm the only person at work who knows what's happening. Am I complicit somehow now?

Tldr: colleague involved in drunk hit and run last night, called me for advice this morning, now I have all kinds of questions.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for the advice. I haven't spoken with her again since this morning, when I told her to speak to her boyfriend / the cops. I find myself wishing that I had advised her to speak with a lawyer, as many of you said I should (and I am hoping she figured that out). I am hoping that she faces consequences for this action, because I am a firm believer that being held accountable helps us to learn. At the very least, this needs to serve as a wake-up call about her drinking habits. Moving forward, I plan to keep our conversation strictly business (if she doesn't face legal ramifications that cost her job).

As an aside, many of you said that this speaks to her character, and I am inclined to agree. I think driving drunk is a lovely choice, and the choice to flee an accident is even worse. But on the other hand, in the cold light of day she seemed really concerned about doing the right thing. When she called me for advice she wasn't asking how to get out of it, more "what steps do I take to make this right". So I have hope that, although she made some terrible choices last night, she will do the work to make amends and improve as a human from this experience.

quote:

My GF did body shots off other guys- Is that okay?
So my gf did body shots off other guys and they did the same off her. Like I love her and all and ofc this would change anything but how would you feel about knowing that other guys had their lips on your loves body?

UPDATE
So after this we were kinda in a fight and she told her friends about this. Her friends said that we cant date anymore. My GF(well were currently on a break because of her friends) said its because theyre racist. Im brown Muslim shes a white Christian

So we were friends after this. Pretty good friends we`ve been talking the same as we used to. Once the situation was cool we decided it was time we started talking about the serious issues. Her friends, the body shots etc.

So we did. We had a good talk yesterday and then we talked about the body shots today.

So heres the joke. Are you ready? Well turns out the body shots were from a GLASS which was put on the other persons body. I thought it was straight from the body. Idk am I the only one who would think body shots are straight from the body? I dont drink so Idk. *Answer this

To be fair to me I did say " I cant imagine your lips on another guys body" and she didn`t tell me that thats not the case then. So I obv knew what I knew.

But yeah. I obv dont have a problem with her taking shots off a glass. Like wow. But because of that now. Were only friends. Waiting for the time to be right to get her friends "permission" again. But yeah no we still do talk about cute stuff and all the stuff. So well be together soon enough.

I don`t have any problem with her taking shots off a glass oh man. Her taking shots off another guys body directly would be a problem. Wow. Misunderstandings are the loving worst.

quote:

My [28M] former colleague and friend [49F] felt insulted after I asked if the apartment she had in Japan had a Japanese-style toilet

Gaunab posted:

Don't exams take place after Thanksgiving? The dad's going about that in the worst way possible.

Soylent Grun posted:

Misunderstandings are the loving worst.

quote:

Caught my girlfriend[26/F] of 4 years cheating on me[28/M] last night. Need advice on how to proceed.

We've been together for almost 4 years. I've never clicked with someone like I clicked with her, we said our 'I love yous' on the second day we spent together. The first two years were the two most incredible years of my life. Despite being in neighboring states we spent as much time together as possible, whether it be via skype or text, and on the weekends we met up. She was everything I could've ever ask for in a partner and I thought she was the one.

The first two years she would always bring up marriage and kids and things like that. But I was in school at the time and the long distance combined with school and work started to put a serious strain on me and I knew it'd put a strain on our relationship soon enough. So I decided she was the most important thing in my life and prioritized her (yes this is all very foolish in retrospect) and dropped out of school to move in with her because she had a very high paying stable career. Jobs for me were hard to come by so I took a massive paycut and worked a very dehuminizing job. It paid the bills but that was it. I never once asked her to support me and always made sure to pay my fair share. In the meantime I worked my rear end off trying to better myself through online courses and certifications so I could land a job in a field I had originally wanted.

I was depressed and unhappy but I never showed it, never blamed her for any of it, tried my best to make her happy. The first year after moving in together was okay, some good times some okay times. It was clear then our relationship wasn't what it used to be but I chalked that up to us settling in and the honemoon phase ending. This is also when she started really vocalizing out of nowhere how much she did not want to have kids, even though I never brought it up and in fact I still don't want to have kids. Then out of the blue she started hinting about how she's perfectly content not getting married too (that should've been a red flag) but again I ignored it. During this time I came close to landing a dream job quite a few times but always came up just short, and each time I could sense her respect for me dwindling. I told myself to stop being irrational and paranoid and again ignored something that should've been a red flag.

That brings us to our last year together. When we first started dating we had sex pretty much all the time, like as in as soon as we walked into our apartments. We both have high sex drives and it was amazing. This past year we had sex a grand total of 3 times. And each time it was her doing me a favor after I had basically begged her. Every time I asked the response was "I don't feel sexy" when it should have been "I don't find you attractive, I don't respect you and I only keep you around to pay half my rent till someone better comes along". But I respected her wishes (obviously) and stayed with her because I loved her too much.

During this time my relationships with all my friends deteriorated, mostly because I was struggling to work, self teach and maintain my relationship with her. Plus I was in a different state from my close friends and didn't feel like making new ones.

For the past couple of months I had suspected something was really off about her. She started going to the gym and lost a bunch of weight and became a very different person both physically and personality wise. She became incredibly cold towards me, stopped doing all the routines we used to have (she was always very needy and clingy but all of that stopped), whenever she would show me some affection it'd just seem so incredibly forced. I tried talking to her about it many, many, many times and she'd assure that everything was fine. So I'd go back to telling myself I was imagining all of it, that I had read too many threads on reddit from the guy's point of view etc. Every second I spent with her at this point was agony and I felt incredibly lonely. I wanted to end things then but didn't know how and didn't do it for fear of it actually being all in my head. I basically was looking for hard evidence at this point.

Then at the end of last month she told me she's going on a trip to Atlanta with her friends. In the time we've been together she has never gone on a trip with anyone save for me, she never even hangs out with her girlfriends outside of work. I knew that was it, so I didn't stop her, I acted supportive and continued to try and focus on myself.

When she returned that's when the real suspisons began. We've always been very open with our cellphones and computers around each other, we both know each other's passwords etc. She'd always leave her phone laying around the house and I'd sometimes use it to take pics of our cats and what not. But after she came back her phone was with her 24/7. Not only that but she was constantly texting. I still didn't act, she even went in for minor surgery one day and I had her phone with me the entire time but I decided against checking it, I should have. She started making constant bathroom visits that'd last more than 30-40 minutes. Now I realized I should have checked her phone and was just looking for an opportunity.

Then last Thursday out of the blue she tells me she has to go visit her parents upstate (1 hr drive) and spend the night because her dad is going in for surgery. Believable but my paranoia was on high alert and I was scrutinizing her every move and word. So she leaves for work on Friday (she was supposed to go to her parents straight from work after) and I check her computer, one of the tabs has a google maps direction to a neighboring city from her workplace, definitely not where her parents live. Btw she spent the night before being VERY affectionate with me, she slept the entire night in my arms, something she's been repulsed by for a long long time. I don't know if she was guilty or trying to put my mind at ease but that got my attention as well. I don't get any texts from her all Friday. I go into work Friday night (I work nights) and still no texts (this is when she's loving the guy). Also btw, the day before she bought some really sexy lingerie, showed them off to me and then chose to wear the most revealing one to go meet this guy.

She texts me Saturday morning and tells me she's coming home now. It takes her 4 hours to get home (its a 1 hr drive from her parents), most likely had another morning session with the guy. She gives me a ride to work when she gets home and I see cash in her car, she never keeps cash in her car like that unless she has to pay tolls, her parents house doesn't involve tolls but the google maps destination involved tolls I remembered. I go to work Saturday night and she goes out with one of her girlfriends to a bar at like 10pm (she's in bed by 9 most nights and she never hangs out with her friends outside of work). She doesn't get home till 2am, I was on the verge of texting her and asking her if she was spending the night with someone but just as I was about to she called me and came home.

Sunday she goes into work (she works a part time job as well). After she gets home we go get some dinner and relax in bed for the rest of the evening. She spends the whole time texting(sexting really) on her phone while she's laying right next to me, but tilting the phone away from her so I wouldn't notice what she's typing. It's incredible how stupid she thought I was. Every time she'd put the phone down it'd be face down. She goes to take a shower and takes the phone with her. I have at this point decided I'm checking her phone tonight, even if I have to snatch it out of her hands and run to the bathroom.

I wait for her to fall asleep. Tell my final mental goodbyes to girl I used to know and this life I've built with her. I take her phone and sneak to the bathroom. I check her text conversations, none of them seem out of the ordinary, only guy there is her dad. I turn off the phone and am about to put it back when something in my head made me turn back and check it again. The top conversation is from one of her girlfriends I know, I open it. It's not her girlfriend, just her name that she was using to hide this dude. I see all the texts, everything they did Friday. How much she likes him, how much she wants him etc. I've never felt so defeated and miserable in my life. I didn't think I would be but seeing those texts were something else.

I stormed out of the room and woke her up. She came clean and admitted to the guy but didn't admit to anything else. I can't really believe anything she says anymore. She wasn't even upset, just mildly annoyed. Blamed our faulty relationship on me. I told her I was going to propose to her this Christmas (I was) and that made her even angrier, she told me she had made it very clear she didn't want to get married. I know that's another lie, she does want to get married and have kids, just not with me.

I haven't spoken to her today, I don't really know what else to say if there's even anything else to say. I'm currently in the process of packing and moving back to the other state where I used to live. But I'm a complete mess right now. I've had breakups from long term relationships before, I've had SOs cheat on me before but it never felt anything like this. It physically hurts thinking about her and this other guy. It hurts thinking about the girl I used to know is gone, she's a complete stranger now, looks, attitude, even her voice is different when she talks to me.

I want to hate her but I can't, that makes me even more miserable. I thought about dating other women but none of that appeals to me right now. All I want to do is go back in time to the way we were. If anyone made it this far, thank you. Typing all of this out really helped. If you have any advice it'd be greatly appreciated.

tl;dr: Caught gf cheating, broke up, now feeling destroyed, don't know how to proceed with life

corn on the cop posted:

that girl is never going to speak to her father again

on a lighter note:

Pvt.Scott posted:

That father is doing it all wrong. He needs to delay things so he can just hand his daughter her mother's ashes at the airport.

"Your mother says hello."

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My [20 M] friend [20 F] lost her mom last week but she is not aware of her death.

quote:

I just sent her a text message because I don't have the guts to say it to her, I'm physically shaking right now as I type this...

Sojenus posted:

it's amazing that the guy found probably the best way to make this worse:

quote:

I just sent her a text message because I don't have the guts to say it to her, I'm physically shaking right now as I type this...

Sojenus posted:

it's amazing that the guy found probably the best way to make this worse:

quote:

We're only known each other for 4 months, dating for 2. All of it has been LDR. We have been talking on skype and texting every single day though, and we have talked for hours and hours about everything and nothing at all. Finally, after months of counting down the days, I met him for the first time in person at Dragoncon and he proposed the same day.

Tears In A Vial posted:

corn on the cop posted:

this relationship was over two years ago and this dude just kept chugging along