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loquacius posted:Among the more extreme consequences of Trump's election is that it's really bringing out the crazies in the confession thread Holy gently caress both of these are solid gold 
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Nov 23, 2016 04:17
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mr. piss waders has the kind of abstract problem solving skills one needs to really excel in life. i wish him the finest in his endeavors
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Nov 23, 2016 04:25
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I see we're back to pushing boundaries with the Secret Service again. Great job confession thread!
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Nov 23, 2016 04:34
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alien/supernatural confession are boring as hell, hard to believe stop sending them
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Nov 23, 2016 04:35
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Putty posted:alien/supernatural confession are boring as hell, hard to believe Agreed, these confessions bring little of substance to the overmind. Please report back after speaking with Overlord-elect Drumpf. To alien child , please take more care of your personal grooming. Urquod-254 borrowed my probing device after our last conference and has come down with anal leakage. This has overloaded the motherpod's plumbing and caused us to dump the excess in the swamp. We apologize for any mutations that result. 01000001 01101100 01110011 01101111 00101100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00101110 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01001100 01110101 01100011 01101001 01110101 01110011
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Nov 23, 2016 05:12
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loquacius posted:Among the more extreme consequences of Trump's election is that it's really bringing out the crazies in the confession thread Jon Pop, a space odyssey
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Nov 23, 2016 06:17
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Putty posted:alien/supernatural confession are boring as hell, hard to believe This one is not, I know someone who believes all the conspiracy and alien poo poo and this is pretty spot on.
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Nov 23, 2016 13:53
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:I see we're back to pushing boundaries with the Secret Service again. Great job confession thread! Uh, what about the confession would interest the secret service? Some sadbrains wants to visit Trump at Trump Tower  sound the loving alarms!!!
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Nov 23, 2016 14:15
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Putty posted:alien/supernatural confession are boring as hell, hard to believe I generally only post those if they're well done or if I'm hard up for 'feshes quote:I attended a junior college in the south, and played on the baseball and wrestling team. Our team managers were mostly girls and some of their assistants were special needs people. quote:I had an opportunity to smell a chicks panties that were laying in her bathroom the other day and I didn't. I'd like to think this makes me not a creep but the fact that the thought even crossed my mind tells me otherwise. calm down bud
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Nov 23, 2016 14:28
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loquacius posted:I had an opportunity to smell a chicks panties that were laying in her bathroom the other day and I didn't. I'd like to think this makes me not a creep but the fact that the thought even crossed my mind tells me otherwise. you miss 100% of the shots you dont take bro
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Nov 23, 2016 15:10
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EX250 Type R posted:you miss 100% of the shots you dont take bro -Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott
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Nov 23, 2016 16:21
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skeemon posted:-Wayne Gretzky - Lee Harvey Oswald - Bud Dwyer
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Nov 23, 2016 16:41
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Harakiri Potter posted:- Lee Harvey Oswald -Ricardo Lopez
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Nov 23, 2016 16:42
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skeemon posted:-Ricardo Lopez My confession is that I too, stalk Bjork.
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Nov 23, 2016 16:44
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- John Daly
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Nov 23, 2016 16:44
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THE BEST OF ME
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Nov 23, 2016 17:09
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plz pm me todd's #
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Nov 23, 2016 20:59
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I am Todd hello
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Nov 23, 2016 21:18
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KomodoWagon posted:I am Todd Why'd you narc on your friends, they were just trying to help you loving rear end in a top hat
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Nov 23, 2016 21:48
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Squashing Machine posted:Why'd you narc on your friends, they were just trying to help you loving rear end in a top hat nah it was just a blowjob
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Nov 24, 2016 00:51
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H.H posted:Jon Pop, a space odyssey The Man Who Fell to Florida
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Nov 24, 2016 01:35
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loquacius posted:I had an opportunity to smell a chicks panties that were laying in her bathroom the other day and I didn't. I'd like to think this makes me not a creep but the fact that the thought even crossed my mind tells me otherwise. You had the impulse mainly because that's what TV/movies tells you to do. I guessing you probably wouldn't have thought of it if you hadn't been exposed to the idea already. Also, keep in mind, chicks fart too. You might get more than you bargained for if you actually tried it.
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Nov 24, 2016 02:01
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quote:this summer my girlfriend and I made plans to see Angel Olsen. My girlfriend is in love with her, so this show is a really big deal. I thought I had bought two tickets online way in advance. On the day of, we drive a few hours to the venue and I discover that I didn't really have the tickets I thought I had and that I never received a confirmation email. that did not blow over well with the gf. quote:Following up from earlier alien conspiracy post. I gotta say you are among the gooniest aliens I've ever heard of
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Nov 24, 2016 04:14
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I don't think any would drink a vial of blood without really good reason tbh
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Nov 24, 2016 04:17
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These last two confessions were really weak
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Nov 24, 2016 04:48
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aline guy i am goign to pee in your cereal every mornign for the rest of your life if you submit another confession
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Nov 24, 2016 05:01
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Alien blood guy I will guzzle as much ichor as you need me to for you to snap into reality :bigtran:
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Nov 24, 2016 05:35
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I miss the days when alien goon stories involved actual aliens and didnt try to incorporate alt-right talking points. Maybe it's just me 
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Nov 24, 2016 13:55
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loquacius posted:I am convinced she has some kind of paranoid delusions and is a risk to the neighborhood. I spoke to the police again, but they cannot do anything at this point except talk to her, unless she commits a crime. I also have to add that she is 28 years old, far younger than most people imagine when I tell them this. It should be noted that even in open carry states brandishing is probably a crime. If she's actively pointing her gun at people check the laws in your state. Also 28 is right around when Schizophrenia and a few other disorders are likely to show up.
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Nov 24, 2016 15:25
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quote:I was totally a "that kid" most of my school career. Everyone went to school with "that kid." That socially awkward, probably hygienically challenged annoying, obnoxious friendless loser who nobody liked and even the other castoffs thought he sucked. That kid. That was me, at least through middle school. In High School I just wanted to do my time and get out, and I kept my head down and was pretty much invisible to everyone. Man I don't even remember what poo poo I was jerking off to when I was 13, but it was probably weird as all hell. You didn't have yourself figured out yet, no big. quote:This is anonymous because I don't want my forums identity being associated with reddit in any way and I don't want to make this a humblebrag. My partner uses reddit and we both tease each other playfully about our preferred forums. Recently I made a bet that I could prove that reddit was derivative and circlejerk-y by easily getting karma with inane posts. She said if I could get 200 comment karma in a day she would admit that reddit sucks. Sure enough with about 10 inane comments I had almost 6k comment karma and someone gave me gold. I just want to say thank you SA for allowing me to hone my shitposting skills. The secret to unlimited reddit comment karma is to figure out what pop culture reference to make before someone else does
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Nov 24, 2016 15:37
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my turn in the barrel posted:Also 28 is right around when Schizophrenia and a few other disorders are likely to show up. Well poo poo this explains a lot about my ex wife.
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Nov 24, 2016 16:08
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quote:the only thing i've masturbated to for like the last three years has been youtube videos of feminists the real reason for gamergate quote:One upon a time there was a man working for an aerospace company. After he meet Von Braun in college, he knew he had to be part of the space program in some way. Once he made it, it wasn't enough to just be part. The viking lander was his baby, he used to show me his scale model when I was a babe. Infamously, one of the Viking tests for life came out positive. The scientific community has no idea why. I do.
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Nov 25, 2016 04:03
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loquacius posted:I kept little tournament brackets under my bed of 8 or 16 girls I knew from school. I'd fantasize about them both at once and whichever one did "better" in my mind moved on to the next round. Jacking off is serious business, I'm glad to see someone else who approaches it in the same methodical fashion I do. After every session, I record the details in a spreadsheet that I use to inform my future selections.
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Nov 25, 2016 09:50
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i'm the infamous finding of life nobody has heard of
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Nov 25, 2016 10:01
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Jose posted:i'm the infamous finding of life nobody has heard of LOL if you aren't whispering sensually "life finds a way" while making the bald man cry over feminist YouTube vids
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Nov 25, 2016 12:16
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old man takes young kid down to secret room in basement to demonstrate biological sample collection, says not to tell anyone because it's part of a secret mars mission
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Nov 25, 2016 12:21
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And that man was abert enstien the science gay
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Nov 25, 2016 12:46
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Jose posted:i'm the infamous finding of life nobody has heard of There was one test whose results were 'unusual' but since none of the other tests came up with anything, they just shrugged.
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Nov 25, 2016 15:17
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you irl posted:old man takes young kid down to secret room in basement to demonstrate biological sample collection, says not to tell anyone, and here's
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Nov 25, 2016 16:01
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I wrote like, a lot of these confessions, that's my confession.
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Nov 25, 2016 18:16
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