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Spermy Smurf posted:I am tempted to boot Bad Munki so you can enter this gladiator. gently caress monki. Do it.
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Nov 23, 2016 23:23
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Dirty Frank posted:Sorry but Donald J Thump, and no Killary K Killton? the gently caress you guys? I wanted an inclusive name that captured all of the best qualities of Goons
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Nov 23, 2016 23:24
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LETS SEE SOME BLOOOOD
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Nov 23, 2016 23:33
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Nov 23, 2016 23:34
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You are all in luck! Blood coming soon! Friday after Thanksgiving.
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Nov 23, 2016 23:35
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Missed the boat! Oh well.
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Nov 24, 2016 00:36
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my dad posted:To be fair, there's enough triple K in there with just the Donald.  Let the healing process begin with murder.
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Nov 24, 2016 02:03
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Ooh, ooh, can I run fights?
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Nov 24, 2016 04:58
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Go for it!
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Nov 24, 2016 12:09
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I'm going to be pretty bored next week (People won't give me paying work, bastards). If I still have access I may run one then.
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Nov 24, 2016 13:02
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So if you go to run a fight you have to be in the 'create creature' menu for the macros to work since it's not a team fight. K, then C, then load and play the macro.
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Nov 25, 2016 15:52
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 Jazz's Name Tournament, Round 1 Fight 1 On the left we have Miracle Whip who is a male Gremlin fighter managed by Bad Munki. Guess what he's using for a weapon. On the right is White Knight long name bullshit, who is a male Goblin fighter managed by moleboy. An iron sword, wood shield, and a smattering of armor adorn his green body.  The fighters clash with Miracle Whip being the faster of the two. Whitey takes the whip on his shield and then slashes deep into the gremlins hand, severing nerves and tendons.  The goblin sends tiny Miracle Whip to the floor with a shoulder charge, then chops his already-cut left hand from his body.  To his credit Miracle Whip rises to his feet while staring dumbly at his stump. Whitey sends his rear end to the floor again with a charge, then chops off his head. Winner: White Knight Combat Log 
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Nov 25, 2016 16:03
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drat, I forgot how fast singles tournaments are.
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Nov 25, 2016 16:36
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Noooo, how could a whip gremlin managed by Bad Munki lose? I thought my money was so safe!
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Nov 25, 2016 16:51
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Jazz's Name Tournament, Round 1 Fight 2 On the left: ITEY is a male Yeti fighter managed by grobbendonk. Empty hands and copper armor are all he has. On the right: Yarko Marx is a male Kobold fighter managed by Tiler Kiwi. He grips a steel spear.  The fighters meet in the middle and a huge swipe from ITEY's paw sends Yarko dodging backwards.  And then faster than I can follow the small Kobold darts forward and stabs twice. IETY falls to the floor when the first stab obliterates his thigh. Before blood can even land on the arena floor a second stab shatters the yeti's left arm. ITEY passes out.  Yarko takes two attempts to shatter the huge yeti's skull. Winner: Yarko Marx Combat Log 
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Nov 25, 2016 16:57
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Good job taking down the bigger guy, Yarko Marx!
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Nov 25, 2016 16:59
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I thought we patched the Yeti problem.
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Nov 25, 2016 17:13
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Jazz's Name Tournament, Round 1 Fight 3 Stranger in a strangle land is a male Strangler fighter managed by frankenfreak. Stranger is armored completely in iron and looks to be weaponless. Buttdork is a male Troll fighter managed by Frozen_Flame. A silver mace is the weapon of choice for Buttdork.  The fighters meet and Stranger dives mouth first onto Buttdorks arm and rips the trolls muscle!  Buttdork isn't to be denied a victory though. His other arm comes around and the mace shatters Stranger's skull through the iron helm! Buttdork pushes the strangler from his arm and steps back waiting for his opponent to fall.  Instead, Stranger launches himself mouth first onto Buttdorks arm again. Buttdork can't handle the pain and falls to the floor.  Stranger spends roughly 18 hours thrashing Buttdork around by the arm, chest, and ribs. Lungs are bruised, muscles are torn, guts are bruised.  Then Stranger passes out for another 18 hours.  We are almost into day 3 when the strangler wakes up only to find that Buttdork suffocated, probably choking on his own vomit. Winner: Stranger in a strangle land Combat Log 
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Nov 25, 2016 17:28
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Jazz's Name Tournament, Round 1 Fight 4 serpent supreme is a female Serpent Man fighter managed by Tunicate. Bits of armor and nothing in his hands. Donald J Thump is a male Troll fighter managed by fallingdownjoe. An iron breastplate and no weapon.  Donald charges forward full of steam and angry at everyone who isn't a rich white man and utilizes that rage to gore Serpent Supreme in the neck... But it only bruises the spine. Serpent Supreme latches on to Thumps foot and injects serpent venom. The Donald falls to the floor, paralyzed.  And now we begin the shaking. The trashing. The biting.  Serpent gets a good grip on Donalds head and trashes his head back and forth, tearing fat, arteries, and muscle for about six hours.  Donald bleeds out. Serpent drops the mic and walks away. Winner: serpent supreme Combat Log 
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Nov 25, 2016 17:43
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Moleboy, Tunicate, Frakenfreak, and Tiler need to update their fighters now.
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Nov 25, 2016 17:45
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Well, a win is a win and making your opponent choke on his own vomit has a certain style, for the lack of a better word. I'm also relieved that me completely forgetting to invest in the dodging skill didn't come back to bite my in the
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Nov 25, 2016 17:45
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Woo! I won a fight against a gimmick Gremlin! Obviously I am a true master of this arena thing. Also, Updated my fighter
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Nov 25, 2016 17:56
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Spermy Smurf posted:
Combat Log posted:Serpent Supreme: Death issss all around usss. Thiss isss truly horrifying.
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Nov 25, 2016 18:12
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DRUDGE REPORT President Elect's SECRET WEAKNESS: Snakes?
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Nov 25, 2016 18:32
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Tearing apart the head's fat.
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Nov 25, 2016 20:00
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Ok, I knew Buttdork would lose, I gave him a Platinum Helm. But not like that. Somehow even worse than my meagre expectations. Its the Glue Factory for Buttdork.
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Nov 25, 2016 20:08
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I am done running fights till Monday. Can still unlock the tournament once Tiler Kiwi wakes his odd-time-zoned rear end up and updates his fighter. Maybe Pickled or Zee will run one over the weekend. Edit: Or maybe Tiler has a thriving social life, that thought didnt occur to me until just now.
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Nov 25, 2016 23:22
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nah i just work poo poo shifts I MEAN I'M ACTUALLY SORT OF SUPER COOL AND POPULAR e: okay done Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Nov 25, 2016 |
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Nov 25, 2016 23:28
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Round two opened. Two fights ready to be run. The winner of these fights are guaranteed to pick something for Jazz. It could be a name suggesting he is a pedophile, avatar that marks him as a pedo, red text calling him a pedophile... the possibilities are endless.
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Nov 26, 2016 00:07
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Ah, I forgot the terrors of serpent venom. I'll get you next time, weird snake man thing!
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Nov 26, 2016 00:14
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does jazz prefer Lenin, or Trotsky
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Nov 26, 2016 05:12
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If you want to twist the knife the worst, name him Rodimus Prime. (do not it is too cruel)
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Nov 26, 2016 06:28
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Actually name him Immaculate Hell Stash he will know what it means.
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Nov 26, 2016 06:33
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Spermy Smurf posted:The winner of these fights are guaranteed to pick something for Jazz.  Alright, ALRIGHT, I'll pay the goddamn ten bucks. Happy now, jackass? ARE YOU loving HAPPY NOW?!?!  Ramc posted:If you want to twist the knife the worst, name him Rodimus Prime.  As abhorrent as Spermy's suggestion was, that's just uncalled for.edit: I had to try five e-mail addresses to get the right one, this is a really old account
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Nov 26, 2016 08:13
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Tiler Kiwi posted:does jazz prefer Lenin, or Trotsky I like Trotsky. edit: Oh god I meant PUSHKIN not Trotsky, how in the hell did I get this wrong  , my favorite Russian is still Dostoevsky thoughedit2: I was thinking of TOLSTOY not PUSHKIN  but I like Pushkin too, but it's been two years since I read any Russian literature, please don't hate me
Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 09:11 on Nov 26, 2016 |
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Nov 26, 2016 09:03
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Ramc posted:If you want to twist the knife the worst, name him Rodimus Prime. (do not it is too cruel) That was my plan. Okay, Rodimus Primal, I'm not totally soulless.
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Nov 26, 2016 09:20
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Dostoyevski or bust. 
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Nov 26, 2016 09:55
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Welcome back, Jazz. I had the whole 'buying an account' thing well in hand. You didnt need to spend any money on this. Ah well, the winner can still pick your avatar or red text.
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Nov 26, 2016 11:42
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my dad posted:Dostoyevski or bust.   Probably the greatest author of all time, Western or Eastern. Even better than Hemingway IMHO Spermy Smurf posted:Welcome back, Jazz. I had the whole 'buying an account' thing well in hand. You didnt need to spend any money on this. Thanks for running the fights. You've truly earned the right to buy me an avatar that lasts a full day or two, accusing me of something truly horrible and vile, and then after that I can shovel a handful of dollar bills into Lowtax's fireplace to salvage my reputation once again to keep this forum alive for another few weeks. 
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Nov 26, 2016 13:00
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| # ? May 13, 2024 11:04 |
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Semifinals, Match One ON THEEEEE LEFT, we have moleboy's WhiteKnight HanzoSteel McSperg, a goblin with an iron sword, wooden shield, and partial copper armor. ON THEEEEE RIGHT, we have Tiler Kiwi's Yarko Marx, a kobold wielding a steel spear in both hands and possessing thorough bronze armor.  One can cleanly beat the other's armor, but will it be enough?  And they're off! Marx is swifter.  For some reason he slides around instead of stabbing. He still takes first stab, but only catches shield. Hanzo's sword swipe doesn't even get close. Marx tries again, but Hanzo knocks the spear point upward and charges into the smaller gladiator. He fails to capitalize on the momentary advantage. They trade more tentative blows. It's gradually showing that both of these characters are quite defensively-minded.  FIRST BLOOD. Hanzo's iron seeks Marx's neck. It cleanly severs his... nose. More inconclusive blows are exchanged, before Hanzo manages to stun Marx with a charge. Marx takes a slash across the chest, but bronze stops iron completely. Hanzo, the brutal goblin, gouges at both of the kobold's eyes. Finally, Marx recovers his wind. He's not down yet, but his all-piercing spear hasn't yet found flesh at all.  Marx has stopped bleeding. Things continue to not happen. Their murder tango circles around the entire arena. Then Hanzo eventually stabs hard enough to break Marx's spine. He's crippled.  Teeth fly. Shortly, Marx dies. Flawless victory for moleboy's WhiteKnight HanzoSteel McSperg! Combat Log
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Nov 27, 2016 04:49
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