Comic Strip Megathread XVI: Winking Throwbacks to Retro Sexism

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Comic Strip Megathread XVI: Winking Throwbacks to Retro Sexism

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My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

SomeMathGuy posted:

Mark Trail Meets New Lows in Jam Esallen's Grasp of Anatomy

This is straight from the realm of Stardust the Super Wizard.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 18:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 16:43

Calaveron: Aug 7, 2006

How survivable is being in the middle of a volcanic eruption being pelted by falling rocks and burning ash

# ? Nov 25, 2016 18:59

Zanzibar Ham: Mar 17, 2009; You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.; Grimey Drawer

Calaveron posted:

How survivable is being in the middle of a volcanic eruption being pelted by falling rocks and burning ash

I don't know about you guys, but I trust Mark Trail to provide an accurate representation of what happens when you're stuck on a volcano island that's erupting.

Or at least if you're high and think you're stuck on an erupting volcano island.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 19:02

SomeMathGuy: Oct 4, 2014; The people were ASTONISHED at his doctrine.

Calaveron posted:

How survivable is being in the middle of a volcanic eruption being pelted by falling rocks and burning ash

I think we probably passed the "not at all" point a while back.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 19:03

Mercedes Colomar: Nov 1, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Tina's Groove

Family Circus

Rose is Rose

One Big Happy

Foob

Compu-Toon

Bizarro

Dilbert

# ? Nov 25, 2016 19:04

Calaveron: Aug 7, 2006

Jalape�o cornbread, how badass. Next thing you know she'll be drinking sweetea, unsweetened

# ? Nov 25, 2016 19:07

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005; I'm feeling Jimmy

treasureplane posted:

Alley Oop (December 15, 1933)

So, that one little baby stegosaurus...they killed that?

Manuel Calavera posted:

Foob

The joke is he's talking about introducing him to jalapeno corn bread.

F Minus

World's Worst Grandpa would have worked better here I think.

Mary Worth

Tiggum posted:

Oh, this is delightful.

Rex Morgan MD

Secret Agent X-9

"I have a plan to fix this!"
"What's your plan?"
"I can't tell you."
*elected president*

Apartment 3-G

Murdstone fucked around with this message at 19:43 on Nov 25, 2016

# ? Nov 25, 2016 19:39

Darthemed: Oct 28, 2007; "A data unit?
For me?"; College Slice

Batman and Robin

Calvin and Hobbes

Ripley's

# ? Nov 25, 2016 19:44

Kennel: May 1, 2008; BAWWW-UNH!

In case you have troubles following the ongoing storyline, here's last four weeks of Mark Trail.

WHAT TH-!?
IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE! - ONE TOOK PLACE RIGHT BEFORE YOU GOT HERE!
ABBEY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
RRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMBBBBBBLLLLLLEE
OH NO!
ABBEY - THAT TREE! LOOK OUT!
RRRRRRRRRRUUUUMMMBBBBLLLEEEE
ABBEY, WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!
RRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBLLLLLLLEEEE
CHUSH
OH NO! MARK, THE TREE HIT THE ANT MOUND!!
RRRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLLLLLEEEE
ABBEY, WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
I KNOW, MARK. WE'RE ABOUT TO BE OVERRUN BY ENRAGED FIRE ANTS! THEIR STINGS CAN BE DEADLY!
ABBEY - NO, LISTEN, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ANTS! ... OH NO!
RRUUMMUUMMUUMMMUMUMBBLE
ABBEY - WE'VE GOT TO GO!
KRAKABLAM
OH NO!!
HUNGH?
THE VOLCANO!!
I'VE GOT TO GET MARK AND ABBEY!
I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE CHOPPER AND RESCUE MARK AND ABBEY!
SWOOSH
BLANG
WHAT!? THE CHOPPER!!
BROMPH
KA-BOOM
JUST GREAT! NOW HOW AM I GOING TO SAVE MARK AND ABBEY!?
BETTER YET, HOW AM I GOING TO GET OFF THE - HEY! ... ABBEY'S BOAT!
KEEP RUNNING ABBEY! THERE'S FLAMING DEBRIS FALLING ALL AROUND US!
WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE BEACH!!
THAT WILD BOAR'S INSTINCTS MUST HAVE ALERTED IT TO THE PENDING VOLCANIC ERUPTION!
IT WASN'T COMING AFTER US... IT WAS JUST RUNNING SCARED AND WE WERE IN THE WAY!
MARK, I'M GUESSING LAVA WILL WIPE OUT THE ANTS!
I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT US!
I SURE HOPE CAL HAS THAT CHOPPER READY! - KEEP RUNNING, ABBEY!
*OUCH*! MARK, IT'S GETTING HARDER TO SEE!
ABBEY - THIS WAY!
IT'S NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD FOR MARK AND ABBEY!
I'D BETTER GET IN THE BOAT AND HEAD FOR OPEN WATER WHILE I STILL CAN!
KRAKABLAM - KABOOM
MARK - *COUGH* - THE SMOKE... IT'S TOO MUCH!
NO, ABBEY!
WE'VE GOT TO MAKE IT TO THE BEACH!
FOOOM
ABBEY, LOOK OUT!
MARK, THE ISLAND IS COMING APART!
BOOM
FWOOOOOM
RRRUUUUMMMBBLLE
FOOM
WHOA!
MARK, JUMP!

# ? Nov 25, 2016 21:30

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Remember when they were stuck in an underground cave for half a year? Gooooood times.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 21:34

Vaishino: Nov 14, 2003; He'd like to come and meet us
But he thinks he'd blow our minds

Darthemed posted:

Ripley's

Is that how he landed the gig as WCPW General Manager?

# ? Nov 25, 2016 21:35

Calaveron: Aug 7, 2006

Wonder who the sexy sidekick will be in the aerial adventure. A redhead with lordosis? A sassy blonde with a harelip?

# ? Nov 25, 2016 21:39

Zereth: Jul 9, 2003

sweeperbravo posted:

Remember when they were stuck in an underground cave for half a year? Gooooood times.

It would be kind of hilarious if they end up stuck on an erupting volcanic island for six months.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 21:43

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Calaveron posted:

Wonder who the sexy sidekick will be in the aerial adventure. A redhead with lordosis? A sassy blonde with a harelip?

Dilys Price: World's oldest female skydiver

# ? Nov 25, 2016 21:53

Esplanade: Jan 6, 2005

Kennel posted:

In case you have troubles following the ongoing storyline, here's last four weeks of Mark Trail.

WHAT TH-!?
IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE! - ONE TOOK PLACE RIGHT BEFORE YOU GOT HERE!
ABBEY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
RRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMBBBBBBLLLLLLEE
OH NO!
ABBEY - THAT TREE! LOOK OUT!
RRRRRRRRRRUUUUMMMBBBBLLLEEEE
ABBEY, WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!
RRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBLLLLLLLEEEE
CHUSH
OH NO! MARK, THE TREE HIT THE ANT MOUND!!
RRRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLLLLLEEEE
ABBEY, WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
I KNOW, MARK. WE'RE ABOUT TO BE OVERRUN BY ENRAGED FIRE ANTS! THEIR STINGS CAN BE DEADLY!
ABBEY - NO, LISTEN, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ANTS! ... OH NO!
RRUUMMUUMMUUMMMUMUMBBLE
ABBEY - WE'VE GOT TO GO!
KRAKABLAM
OH NO!!
HUNGH?
THE VOLCANO!!
I'VE GOT TO GET MARK AND ABBEY!
I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE CHOPPER AND RESCUE MARK AND ABBEY!
SWOOSH
BLANG
WHAT!? THE CHOPPER!!
BROMPH
KA-BOOM
JUST GREAT! NOW HOW AM I GOING TO SAVE MARK AND ABBEY!?
BETTER YET, HOW AM I GOING TO GET OFF THE - HEY! ... ABBEY'S BOAT!
KEEP RUNNING ABBEY! THERE'S FLAMING DEBRIS FALLING ALL AROUND US!
WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE BEACH!!
THAT WILD BOAR'S INSTINCTS MUST HAVE ALERTED IT TO THE PENDING VOLCANIC ERUPTION!
IT WASN'T COMING AFTER US... IT WAS JUST RUNNING SCARED AND WE WERE IN THE WAY!
MARK, I'M GUESSING LAVA WILL WIPE OUT THE ANTS!
I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT US!
I SURE HOPE CAL HAS THAT CHOPPER READY! - KEEP RUNNING, ABBEY!
*OUCH*! MARK, IT'S GETTING HARDER TO SEE!
ABBEY - THIS WAY!
IT'S NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD FOR MARK AND ABBEY!
I'D BETTER GET IN THE BOAT AND HEAD FOR OPEN WATER WHILE I STILL CAN!
KRAKABLAM - KABOOM
MARK - *COUGH* - THE SMOKE... IT'S TOO MUCH!
NO, ABBEY!
WE'VE GOT TO MAKE IT TO THE BEACH!
FOOOM
ABBEY, LOOK OUT!
MARK, THE ISLAND IS COMING APART!
BOOM
FWOOOOOM
RRRUUUUMMMBBLLE
FOOM
WHOA!
MARK, JUMP!

Pretty much the exact plot of the adventure comics I used to draw when I was 8.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 22:04

Maxwell Lord: Dec 12, 2008; I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.; Grimey Drawer

SomeMathGuy posted:

Mark Trail Meets New Lows in Jam Esallen's Grasp of Anatomy

I hope this arc ends with them having to jump over Bowser only to be told their princess is in another castle.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 23:14

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Her hydrocephalus is getting worse.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 23:18

A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

Kennel posted:

In case you have troubles following the ongoing storyline, here's last four weeks of Mark Trail.

[kaboom, foom, blammomple, bing bing bong, rummmumbmlmle]

God bless you.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 23:37

Evil Mastermind: Apr 28, 2008

The Classic Dinette Set needs to check its math.

Working Daze goes for the easy cartoon joke.

Super-Fun-Pak-Comix gets a cement overcoat.

# ? Nov 25, 2016 23:42

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Evil Mastermind posted:

Working Daze goes for the easy cartoon joke.

This comic manages to evoke from me a visceral "ugh" if not an outright eyeroll nearly every time it is posted.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 00:41

I heart bacon: Nov 18, 2007; It's burgin' time!

Calaveron posted:

Jalape�o cornbread, how badass. Next thing you know she'll be drinking sweetea, unsweetened

One day it's jalapeno cornbread, next it's robbing convenience stores, and then beating up old people for their medication. Gotta start being badass somewhere.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 01:47

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

I heart bacon posted:

One day it's jalapeno cornbread, next it's robbing convenience stores, and then beating up old people for their medication. Gotta start being a robot somewhere.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 02:13

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

i long for the sweet release of death, also comics

Adam Ames

That Rookie from the 13th Squad

Ella Cinders

Myra North, Special Nurse

"a Chinese"

# ? Nov 26, 2016 02:15

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

Calaveron posted:

Jalape�o cornbread, how badass. Next thing you know she'll be drinking sweetea, unsweetened

Watch out, the turkey might have chipotle seasoning! What human could possibly handle such hellish heat?

Evil Mastermind posted:

Working Daze goes for the easy cartoon joke.

So is WHA HOPPEN supposed to be some sort of accent or what? I don't remember this character talking in anything but regular English before at least.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 03:45

Dr. Video Games 0081: Jan 19, 2005

Is it a A Mighty Wind allusion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNyDjkPO8l0

because if so... that's weird

# ? Nov 26, 2016 03:49

Julet Esqu: May 6, 2007

Phantom Classic

Radio Patrol

Rip Kirby

Big Ben Bolt

# ? Nov 26, 2016 04:18

Some Guy TT: Aug 30, 2011; Can't post for 4 hours!

It's All Right Chief Dharma

# ? Nov 26, 2016 04:37

Transmodiar: Jul 9, 2005; You're a terrible person, Mildred.

Evil Mastermind posted:

Working Daze goes for the easy cartoon joke.

Can someone explain how this qualifies as a comic strip at this point when it's clearly a webcomic?

# ? Nov 26, 2016 04:38

Aardmania: Jan 1, 2007; Ruining newspapers since 1993.; Shredded Hen

Heathcliff

Piranha Club

Dick Tracy

Judge Parker

9 Chickweed Lane

Pibgorn

# ? Nov 26, 2016 07:46

SomeMathGuy: Oct 4, 2014; The people were ASTONISHED at his doctrine.

Mark Trail

Pearls Before Swine

The Phantom

# ? Nov 26, 2016 08:36

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

Whoa, Mark Trail is going to transform into The Hulk!

# ? Nov 26, 2016 10:36

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Some Guy TT posted:

It's All Right Chief Dharma

It never fails that any time any boss higher than the chief does something nice it's actually terrible.

SomeMathGuy posted:

The Phantom

# ? Nov 26, 2016 10:39

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Arlo and Janis

Arlo and Janis Classic (Sept. 14, 1994)

# ? Nov 26, 2016 16:04

Strontium: Aug 28, 2009; Dexter didn't much care for the party.

Intelligent Life

Human teeth? Check. Opposable thumbs? Check. Paw pads? No check. That things is in no way a cat.

Take It From the Tinkersons

I don't know if Mr Tinkerson is wearing his cap on his scalp and nowhere near his ears because it's funny or because the art is bad.

Dark Side of the Horse

# ? Nov 26, 2016 16:27

Mercedes Colomar: Nov 1, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Tina's Groove

Family Circus

Rose is Rose

One Big Happy

Foob

Compu-Toon

Bizarro

Dilbert

# ? Nov 26, 2016 16:27

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

The MSJ posted:

Whoa, Mark Trail is going to transform into The Hulk!

the egg sac implants in his back are about to erupt

# ? Nov 26, 2016 16:58

Green Intern: Dec 29, 2008; Loon, Crazy and Laughable

Manuel Calavera posted:

Foob

Christ, what an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 17:03

Darthemed: Oct 28, 2007; "A data unit?
For me?"; College Slice

Batman and Robin

Calvin and Hobbes

Ripley's

# ? Nov 26, 2016 17:35

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005; I'm feeling Jimmy

Darthemed posted:

Ripley's

Well that lobotomy one sure is disturbing. People used to literally pay doctors to scramble the brains of their loved ones. It wasn't even that long ago.

F Minus