/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

I kind of get the vibe he hated the dog and took it to such a faraway place so he could play stupid and act like he had no idea what happened to it.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 22:31

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# ? May 9, 2024 20:54

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

almightyerin posted:

I kind of get the vibe he hated the dog and took it to such a faraway place so he could play stupid and act like he had no idea what happened to it.

Yes, this is the obvious answer. Anyone trying to blame the girlfriend is an rear end in a top hat. If the dog was sick and needed to be put down, you go to the closest vet and you mention it in text messages. You take it to the one 60 miles away because you're trying to cover your tracks.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 22:41

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Demon Of The Fall posted:

*knocks over jar full of old dogs on u*

Lol

# ? Nov 26, 2016 22:42

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

It doesn't matter how sick you imagine in your head that this dog might be, that dude is an indefensible prick for doing it without discussion and pretending it didn't happen and texting with her like he didn't just steal her dog. Why the dick is he getting defended

# ? Nov 26, 2016 23:06

Curdy Lemonstan: Jan 25, 2012; by zen death robot

Facebook Aunt posted:

Who enjoys sucking dick? Or eating pussy? No one, that's who. Everybody just does it out of reciprocity.

I enjoy eating pussy and rear end and good pizza

# ? Nov 26, 2016 23:07

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

My girlfriend has the cutest pitbull and I would never consider going behind her back for a millisecond, even if her dog had severe health problems and had to be put down. Dude is a subhuman rear end in a top hat for doing that to OP.

# ? Nov 26, 2016 23:16

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Pvt.Scott posted:

What if the dog has all kinds of health and/or behavioral problems that OP isn't mentioning and the BF was doing the right thing at the behest of his GF's family?

Some people just can't let go man. It's a dog. Dogs are cool, I like my dog. Not going to give my dog dogchemo for dogcancer though.

Sure, I guess he could have just picked up his SO's pet and taken it to Dogschwitz for funzies, but you'd think he'd just kill it himself if he was going to do that.

E;FB

We got a dog when I was in 6th grade. He was a stray that showed up at my Dad's garage and just hung out for a few days. Dad felt sorry for him and brought him home and we nursed him back to health. The dog would literally try and kill anyone that wasn't me, or my parents. The dog was part Weimaraner and scared most people.

The summer right before 12th grade he got really bad. While I was at work Dad took the dog to the vet to be put down. I found out by reading a note on the fridge when I got home. I kinda get why he did it but I didn't speak to him for a few weeks after that.

EDIT: I just put my 11 year old sheppard down last winter. Poor guy had a neurological condition that made his hind end stop working. He couldn't stand, walk, or control his bowels. Meanwhile I had a friend whose dog is nearly 17, has dementia, mostly blind and deaf but she wants him to hang on until the end.

Bonzo fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Nov 26, 2016

# ? Nov 26, 2016 23:16

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

the op says it's probably because he wanted to move overseas and the dog was in the way of that

hosed up imo

# ? Nov 26, 2016 23:44

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

My [28F] boyfriend [26M] has become obsessed with a sex act that I'm uncomfortable with

quote:

My boyfriend reddits so I'm using a throwaway just in case.
To start, we've been together for 2 years. We met through mutual friends and he's always been super kind and supportive and all around wonderful. I can't even believe I'm writing this post right now.
We have had a totally normal and healthy sex life until about two months ago when his mother died. His mother was an alcoholic (her drink of choice was red wine, which will be relevant soon enough) but my boyfriend never liked drinking much. I do drink but I respect his life choices and don't drink around him too often (if I do, I keep it to 2 glasses of wine).
So, his mother died suddenly in a car accident at 46. They were really close and him and I are both devastated. I don't have a great relationship with my parents and she became something of a mother figure to me. Him (we'll call him Travis) and I live together and have for about six months now.
Onto the big stuff... our sex life has gotten a bit weird. As soon as his mother died, Travis started buying red wine, and I understood of course. I mean, that was her drink. But he didn't buy it to drink it. Every night he asks me to drink the red wine that he buys.
At first, I went with it because I knew he was grieving and red wine isn't so bad. But he would sit there and watch me drink it with weirdly eager eyes? Like he wanted me to get drunk or something, even though he wasn't drinking at all.
2 weeks ago is when it started getting weird. It started with him asking if he could pour the wine into my belly button to drink it, which I was okay with. Not all that weird, right?
Our sex life has started suffering. All of a sudden he has become obsessed with jerking off into a glass of red wine and watching me drink it. It's to the point where he can't stay hard during sex. I have offered so many alternatives, but no, he can only finish into a glass of red wine with anticipation of me drinking it. I realize how INSANE this sounds but I don't know where else to turn right now. I can't imagine talking to my friends or family about this.
Clearly this is some weird way of grieving and I've tried to talk to him about it. He denies that it's got anything to do with his mother passing and insists that he saw it in a porn and thought it was hot. But nothing adds up. Mostly I feel awful for him because this is so out of character and I know he's going through so much. But I like having sex. I don't like drinking some weird cum and red wine mixture.
Before you suggest counseling, he is currently in therapy to deal with his grief. And I've tried to talk to him about this already. I love him so much and we have the perfect relationship otherwise, but I realize how bizarre it is that he needs to see me drinking red wine to get off. It sound even more ridiculous when I type it. I'm worried that he's trying to use me as some stand in for his mom right now but even MORE WORRIED and weirded out that it's a sexual thing.
So, I have no idea what to do at this point. I love him and I feel very much a part of his family and I don't want to end the relationship... but I don't know if I can keep taking part in this weird newfound fetish.
tl;dr: boyfriends mom loved red wine, she died, and now he insists on incorporating it into all of our sex acts

# ? Nov 26, 2016 23:56

kierrie: Jun 7, 2010

Farg posted:

My [28F] boyfriend [26M] has become obsessed with a sex act that I'm uncomfortable with

Clearly got the pairing wrong there. White wine goes with cum, not red.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 00:02

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

You know, I can understand using throwaways for a lot of these posts given that they're fairly generic problems / easily anonymized by changing ages and situations a bit, but why bother with that post? "Oh, sweetie, of course it's not me! Tons of people on Reddit have SOs who are obsessed with alcohol-based sex acts after the sudden death of their alcoholic mother. Don't worry, I love red wine jerkoff time, baby."

# ? Nov 27, 2016 00:15

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

Just lick each others buttholes like normal people, quit jerking off into perfectly good wine. That would totally gently caress up the flavor profile.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 00:19

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

Antivehicular posted:

You know, I can understand using throwaways for a lot of these posts given that they're fairly generic problems / easily anonymized by changing ages and situations a bit, but why bother with that post? "Oh, sweetie, of course it's not me! Tons of people on Reddit have SOs who are obsessed with alcohol-based sex acts after the sudden death of their alcoholic mother. Don't worry, I love red wine jerkoff time, baby."

He's actually pissing in white wine.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 00:20

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

Dog person updated with pics of Sticksy the cute dog. That dog is in great shape and probably has another 3-4 years in it. http://imgur.com/a/7WaG5

# ? Nov 27, 2016 00:39

kierrie: Jun 7, 2010

Antivehicular posted:

You know, I can understand using throwaways for a lot of these posts given that they're fairly generic problems / easily anonymized by changing ages and situations a bit, but why bother with that post? "Oh, sweetie, of course it's not me! Tons of people on Reddit have SOs who are obsessed with alcohol-based sex acts after the sudden death of their alcoholic mother. Don't worry, I love red wine jerkoff time, baby."

It's throwaway cause it's fiction - r/relationships is bascially fanfiction.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 02:04

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Farg posted:

My [28F] boyfriend [26M] has become obsessed with a sex act that I'm uncomfortable with

That is some straight up Norman Bates poo poo

InediblePenguin posted:

It doesn't matter how sick you imagine in your head that this dog might be, that dude is an indefensible prick for doing it without discussion and pretending it didn't happen and texting with her like he didn't just steal her dog. Why the dick is he getting defended

I sure as hell wasnt defending him, just trying to find some possible way to potentially get an idea of why he would do something so loving dumb

# ? Nov 27, 2016 02:40

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Troposphere posted:

the op says it's probably because he wanted to move overseas and the dog was in the way of that

hosed up imo

Well, problem solved if the OP dumped him then. He doesn't have to worry about shipping an animal overseas when he no longer has a GF with a pet!

# ? Nov 27, 2016 02:49

Return Of JimmyJars: Jun 24, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Lol at prudes in this thread that don't eat the booty like groceries

# ? Nov 27, 2016 03:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Return Of JimmyJars posted:

Lol at prudes in this thread that don't eat the booty like groceries

I'm happy to skip questing for the concretions of undigested butter lining your wife's colon like Chinese gutter oil

# ? Nov 27, 2016 03:52

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

quote:

Me 27/F with my 30/M boyfriend of three years, completely weirded out by his family

My boyfriend and I are currently visiting his family for Thanksgiving. We go see them once a year and it is usually pretty stressful, but this time especially got to me.
The only relatives he has are his mom (70/F) and his aunt (68/F). His mom and his aunt have always lived together and are completely inseparable (they literally do everything as a pair).
Their living arrangement isn't something new either, they have always been inseparable, never lived apart, and have never had close friends, boyfriends, etc. They also have no hobbies or interests and haven't had jobs in decades. They currently have no friends whatsoever and only leave the house to go to stores and the dentist (they get their annual cleanings together).
I find it very hard to talk to them because I have to address both of them and they have the exact same answers to every question and often talk at the same time. They also stop periodically and whisper to one another, which really makes me nervous.
They are very controlling and obsessive over my boyfriend. For example, he's not allowed to serve his own plate of food, can't have a dessert when he wants, can't bring his own beverages to drink, etc. They fuss over his jacket and his shoes and his facial hair. And by "fuss", I mean swarm around him shrieking in unision.
Today he tried to make a sandwich for lunch and his mom and aunt heard the fridge open and came running. They started fussing really loudly wanting to make it for him. My boyfriend insisted on doing it himself, but they were inserting themselves in every part of the process. His aunt kept checking on the progress of his toast, his mom grabbed several types of cheese from the fridge to offer him, and his mom eventually wrangled the pot of turkey from him and finished making the sandwich herself.
They also want to control every aspect of our visit. For example, I wanted to bring a pumpkin pie to Thanksgiving and my boyfriend said not to because they already had the dinner planned and would be offended and would get distressed. Okay, fine. But they do this with every little thing. After dinner they wanted to go on a walk around a nearby park. I asked instead to go walking on a nearby path with lots of streetlights because my dog gets very stressed out in wide open unlit areas like the park. Both the mom and aunt started freaking out demanding we go to the park. They kept saying dogs love this park and it is a good place to go (it was completely dark by this time). They were both shrieking in unison and my boyfriend started yelling at them. My dog got very upset and started growling and them and I had to take him for a walk myself.
It seems like every little thing turns into a fight if they do not get exactly their way. My boyfriend either gives into their demands (wear this, eat this, sit here and not there, etc.) or screams at them to leave him alone. They also do this fake crying thing whenever they want something. Like they will make a whining baby sound when asking him to do something. My boyfriend says he finds their behavior "annoying", but refuses to address it head on.
I find the whole situation very overwhelming and am not coping well with their constant meddling. It makes it so much harder that there are two of them always acting as a united front. I feel like my boyfriend needs to put his foot down or otherwise I will need to leave him. If they can't let him make a goddamn sandwich alone, how are we ever going to take big steps in our life such as buying a house?
If this was just a once a year visit, I would suck it up and deal with it. But due to their age, they have been talking about moving closer to us sooner rather than later.
Is it worth trying to get my boyfriend to be more firm with them or should I cut my loses and leave?
NOTE: I use the word "they" throughout because it is literally both of them doing the behaviors at the same time. Like they will both use the fake whiny baby voice in unision to get something.
tl;dr: Boyfriend's mom and aunt are reclusive and anti-social and demand to control every situation. They also refuse to ever be separate and whisper back and forth to each in my presence. Is it worth sticking around to see if my boyfriend can set better boundaries?

RUN GIRL RUN!!!!

# ? Nov 27, 2016 03:58

Photux: Sep 3, 2012; Funny then, that such darkness gives me hope

Antivehicular posted:

You know, I can understand using throwaways for a lot of these posts given that they're fairly generic problems / easily anonymized by changing ages and situations a bit, but why bother with that post? "Oh, sweetie, of course it's not me! Tons of people on Reddit have SOs who are obsessed with alcohol-based sex acts after the sudden death of their alcoholic mother. Don't worry, I love red wine jerkoff time, baby."

Well, the other reason to use a throwaway is so the weird poo poo going on in your life doesn't get associated with your main reddit account. I mean, it would just be so embarrassing if one of your /r/bitcoin buddies looked at your post history and found out your boyfriend was into cum-wine, so you gotta hide that with a throwaway account.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 04:13

Agentdark: Dec 30, 2007; Mom says I'm the best painter she's ever seen. Jealous much?

almightyerin posted:

RUN GIRL RUN!!!!

She is going to end up murdered in a basement.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 04:16

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

almightyerin posted:

RUN GIRL RUN!!!!

Mom crazy, so what.

But really, what does she think he's going to do? I can't see a "me or your mom" ultimatum going well.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 04:17

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

According to op in the comments, they're badgering the guy for his bank info so they can check his transactions and are trying to buy a house near theirs.

She shouldn't give an ultimatum, just sever.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 04:27

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

almightyerin posted:

RUN GIRL RUN!!!!

This is my favorite episode of Documentary Now!

# ? Nov 27, 2016 04:42

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

almightyerin posted:

RUN GIRL RUN!!!!

I want to know the story of how exactly one of these women had a child. Was a hospital kidnapping involved?

# ? Nov 27, 2016 05:46

curlingiron: Dec 15, 2006; b l o o p

Antivehicular posted:

I want to know the story of how exactly one of these women had a child. Was a hospital kidnapping involved?

I was assuming sperm donor, but my boyfriend thinks threesome.

*whiny baby voices* Pwease pwease have sex with ussssss! Boo hoo hoo!

# ? Nov 27, 2016 05:58

Hug in a Can: Aug 1, 2010; NICE FLAMINGO
kind heart
fierce mind
brave spirit

be good and try hard!

Antivehicular posted:

I want to know the story of how exactly one of these women had a child. Was a hospital kidnapping involved?

Reddit User posted:

I'm really curious, what happened to your boyfriends father??

OP posted:

Apparently it was a sperm donor situation. That's what the mom says at least

OP in the same thread posted:

Seeing how they interact together has absolutely made me question if they have some sort of incestuous relationship going on. They seem to have no boundaries with each other. They do often sleep in the same bed and it is not uncommon for them to go into the shower together. It is hard because most people dismiss their behavior saying 'oh they are just old women', but I don't think so.

Yikes!

# ? Nov 27, 2016 06:12

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Hug in a Can posted:

Yikes!

Is it actually his aunt by blood relation? There's a guy we called our uncle growing up who wasn't actually an uncle. There was no gay relationship going on, but I've seen that situation too. Where they call a same sex relationship partner person "uncle" or "aunt" to avoid having to explain the situation to a kid. It's probably far less common today given how accepted things are, but it was a lot more common once upon a time.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 06:15

Hug in a Can: Aug 1, 2010; NICE FLAMINGO
kind heart
fierce mind
brave spirit

be good and try hard!

OP posted:

Ha! That would actually make me pretty happy if they were just pretending to be sisters. But they definitely are because they look like twins and have lots of pictures of them as children. I especially hate their whispering back and forth when I am trying to talk to them. Like it makes it so I can never have a true conversation with them or get to know them as individuals.

They're characterized like a couple of evil crow-women, complete with stealing vegetables :confused:

OP posted:

Yes at night they will leave the house to walk around a park attached to their apartment complex. They also go out very early in the morning and steal vegetables from neighboring gardens. I meant they don't go out and do like activities unless we compel them to.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 06:19

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

lmao these women are like indie french cartoons

# ? Nov 27, 2016 06:28

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

roald dahl rear end les triplettes de belleville motherfuckers

# ? Nov 27, 2016 06:29

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

They should encourage his mom and aunt to buy the house across the street. This would make a great sitcom.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 06:32

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Hug in a Can posted:

They're characterized like a couple of evil crow-women, complete with stealing vegetables

I was going to make a "Mom and Aunt are literally harpies" joke earlier, but holy poo poo. Are they professional banquet-befoulers on the side?

# ? Nov 27, 2016 06:39

Jenner: Jun 5, 2011; Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.

Facebook Aunt posted:

They should encourage his mom and aunt to buy the house across the street. This would make a great sitcom.

They should. After the mom and aunt get locked into a 30 year mortgage BF and the poster should move.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 07:02

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

quote:

Last week it was my birthday and my boyfriend knows I love tigers. So for my birthday he organised with his work a little session for me to meet a baby tiger. It was one of the animals he works with. They said it was fine and they trust him to make sure everything was OK.

My birthday comes around and my boyfriend was working that day. My sister was driving and my brother was in the car with us. They told me they had a surprise and took me to where my boyfriend works. Long story short I was taken to this little room with grass, and my boyfriend entered through the door with a baby tiger.

My boyfriend showed us this baby tiger. He told us to do this weird sound towards it. He told us that it's tiger talk to say that you basically are friendly, I'm not here to hurt you. My brother instead made like this loud growling sound. The tiger started to squirm and it scratched my boyfriend. That's normal he comes home with scratches and little bites sometimes so I'm use to it.

He managed to calm her down a little by giving her food. He was giving me and my sister information about her. How big she was going to get, how she kills prey, how long they live for. How old she was 3 months old. He told us we would see rather quickly why having wild animals as pets is not a good idea. He was telling us how he can see what she's thinking with the way her ears are positioned. We took turns giving her a little pat.

My brother continued to be a douche and he grabbed the tigers ears and it went to bite him. My boyfriend told him to get out and told him he should count his lucky stars she's not big enough to take his hand off. It did not bite him but it almost did. This point the tiger had enough and was annoyed. So he took her away.
I'm really annoyed with my brother and he seems to think he did nothing wrong. He thinks my boyfriend was overreacting. How do I handle my brother? He does not think he owes an apology to anyone.

TL;DR: Idiot brother grabbed the tigers ears and almost got bit. My boyfriend told us what to do and what not to do. He went against everything. He does not think he owes my boyfriend or myself an apology.

My brother is literally an adult baby help reddit

# ? Nov 27, 2016 07:28

various cheeses: Jan 24, 2013

zakharov posted:

My brother is literally an adult baby help reddit

Hmm I don't know maybe stop bringing your retarded brother around to potentially dangerous situations?

# ? Nov 27, 2016 07:44

Barudak: May 7, 2007

various cheeses posted:

Hmm I don't know maybe stop bringing your retarded brother around to potentially dangerous situations?

The solution is actually just the opposite.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 07:45

Melchiresa: Jun 21, 2006; Nice guy.
Tries hard.
Loves ~~hot dogs~~ The Game.

various cheeses posted:

Hmm I don't know maybe stop bringing your retarded brother around to potentially dangerous situations?

For a minute i really did wonder if the brother had some sort of developmental delay. From the looks of it, nope. Just a terminal case of dumbass.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 08:07

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# ? May 9, 2024 20:54

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Barudak posted:

The solution is actually just the opposite.

If she started a GoFundMe to buy him a motorcycle I would happily chip in 20 bucks to the cause.

# ? Nov 27, 2016 08:10

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