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Unclear on the butthole mechanics here
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Nov 27, 2016 22:50
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I've never straddled the side of a rowboat as it ran aground. That requires you to contract your butthole to resist some force?
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Nov 27, 2016 22:51
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Are they saying their rear end in a top hat stopped them from drowning in a foot of water?
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Nov 27, 2016 22:54
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Maybe his butthole is autistic
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Nov 27, 2016 23:01
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maybe he's implying his butthole got caught on something and got ripped when they hit the shore?
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Nov 27, 2016 23:10
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Why bring up the literal autist? This story's full of holes.
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Nov 27, 2016 23:14
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"Built up a stream" isn't a colloquialism I'm familiar with, outside of urination
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Nov 27, 2016 23:20
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I'm more disturbed that some people have a separate gender for their buttholes
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Nov 27, 2016 23:32
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A lovely confession, all around.
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Nov 27, 2016 23:59
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Terrific Accident posted:I'm more disturbed that some people have a separate gender for their buttholes I'm cis male but my shitter is ftm
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Nov 28, 2016 00:01
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I'll rip your butthole, goon. 
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Nov 28, 2016 00:30
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Why bring up the literal autist? This story's full of holes. 
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Nov 28, 2016 01:46
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I think the idea is that he held himself in the boat using the strength of his inner butt cheek and attributed that to his butthole because he is literally autistic (fight club twist, he was the friend)
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Nov 28, 2016 01:49
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Ahh, that makes more sense. Good novelization after all, now that we're all onboard
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Nov 28, 2016 02:34
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i think that during autistic bear butt sex, the ejacuate built a stream of muddy "water" that was almost a foot deep(in his butt) and caused his o ring to distend
Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Nov 28, 2016 |
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Nov 28, 2016 03:31
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Now that's just stretching it
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Nov 28, 2016 03:58
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So let's just ignore the goon who's Dad could tell if he had a boner like some boner sensing wizard and then cried about it. How does he think he came into the world? Escape pod?
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Nov 28, 2016 06:34
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I call my semen "the away team" so maybe? 
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Nov 28, 2016 06:40
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Beam me up, Scotty
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Nov 28, 2016 06:44
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more confessions about conservative families please, the true aliems
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Nov 28, 2016 06:47
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Sjs00 posted:So let's just ignore the goon who's Dad could tell if he had a boner like some boner sensing wizard and then cried about it. I totally forgot about about boner-dad after I read the enigmatic butthole story. Definitely funny, if you wrote it you should keep it up.
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Nov 28, 2016 07:07
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loquacius posted:my dad cried when he saw me with an erection This is fantastic
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Nov 28, 2016 13:10
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Sjs00 posted:boner sensing wizard Yer penis is a disgrace, Harry!
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Nov 28, 2016 14:03
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quote:My sexual fantasy is to interact with a giant woman. I mean literally giant. Think Attack of the 50-Foot Woman. For some with this kink, this means being horribly abused, stepped on like a bug, eaten, and all sorts of gory awfulness. Personally, I'd rather befriend a gentle giantess (or have my gf grow into one) and have the kind of sexual experiences that are only possible between partners with that kind of size difference. Yes, including what just popped into your head. The Internet is really good at convincing everyone that their particular bullshit, fetish or otherwise, is about to Hit The Scene and become mainstream (just like furries lol) quote:I am an inner-city teacher. I work really hard to get my kids to understand integrity and honesty, because they and I know that in order to get a fair shake in the world they have to be better than everybody else. It's actually cool and good to teach poor students to steal from the government, which is even more ethical than stealing from international corporations
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Nov 28, 2016 14:04
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If anyone's wondering, "giantess" is not even on the list of fastest growing search terms in America specifically. This probably means that instead of 10 people in Germany searching "giantess" there are now 109 of them. It's Happening!!! Also "mom" and "step mom" are two of the highest-searched terms, which, when you consider how mainstream and integral to Western culture incest is, really does a lot to support anon's theory w/r/t the correlation between Pornhub data and how much of a thing something is in culture  (the fastest-growing search term in America specifically is "hardcore lesbian scissoring", so expect to start seeing a lot more of that in commercials etc) (eg hardcore-lesbian-scissoring-themed superheroes getting their own movies etc) loquacius fucked around with this message at 14:16 on Nov 28, 2016 |
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Nov 28, 2016 14:12
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ho ho ho green giant! - me orgasming
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Nov 28, 2016 14:51
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quote:I am an inner-city teacher My favorite part of this is that the simple math doesn't add up. Edit: Never mind, my new favorite part of this is my lack of reading comprehension.
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Nov 28, 2016 15:01
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you irl posted:ho ho ho green giant! - me orgasming
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Nov 28, 2016 18:49
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If your worst confession is that you privately find something arousing then maybe just do not confess? We all think some weird things, no need to confess, it is just human nature to think about perversions.
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Nov 28, 2016 19:02
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Humans are a perversion
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Nov 28, 2016 19:06
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loquacius posted:(eg hardcore-lesbian-scissoring-themed superheroes getting their own movies etc) this would own tho
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Nov 28, 2016 19:15
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I have to admit I saw an ad on pornstub or whatever where this giant lady was loving this tiny dude and it was pretty hot like she was using all these wrestling moves on him and poo poo I didn't click the ad and now I regret it
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Nov 28, 2016 22:39
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Stale Saltines posted:this would own tho see, the invisible but undeniable market forces informing the top search terms on Pornhub are already at work through your posting I dunno whether the superhero in question would use hardcore lesbian scissoring as a fighting style against hot lady supervillains, or gain crimefighting superpowers from hardcore lesbian scissoring with her sidekicks and allies, but as sure as the giant-fetish-themed sex scenes Ant Man apparently had according to that anonymous confession, it's coming
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Nov 28, 2016 22:43
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I once saw a video of a dude putting his semi-erect dick in a hand mixer and he put some circus music in the background. I wish I could find that video again, poo poo was hilarious.
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Nov 28, 2016 23:00
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I once punched a midget because he was drunk as gently caress and felt up my woman. He said he knew people in Hollywood and he would sue me then have me killed. I guess he did know Bam Margera.
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Nov 29, 2016 01:16
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The only other person I knew who was into that giant stuff was a giant weirdo so sorry anon goon that stuff isn't hitting the main stream anytime soon.
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Nov 29, 2016 01:39
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LethalGeek posted:a giant weirdo That would mean this guy was dreaming up some very, very giant ladies
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Nov 29, 2016 01:50
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quote:When it was time to leave and pay for parking, I pushed the "lost ticket" button. Instead of paying over 50 dollars for parking, I paid 20. You loving monster.
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Nov 29, 2016 02:08
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most unrealistic thing about that story to me is that inner-city kids would be allowed to leave their schools for an 'event'. They can't even afford books and they're getting a Field Trip? I don't believe it.
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Nov 29, 2016 02:31
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Can someone explain the appeal of reading badly-written goon fiction posing as "confessions"?
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Nov 29, 2016 03:02
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