- FactsAreUseless
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Opening the front door to find a woman without a shirt on delivering a brief message from a friend or loved one. She seems cold.
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Nov 28, 2016 18:25
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 04:37
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- FactsAreUseless
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I keep telling my grandmother that women under 30 shouldn't get mammograms, but every birthday she sends one to my apartment!
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Nov 28, 2016 18:31
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- FactsAreUseless
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And who can possibly forget the famous "mammogram for Mongo" scene from Blazing Saddles?
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Nov 28, 2016 18:36
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- FutonForensic
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nothing beats the malignant taste of Nabisco Mammograhams
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Nov 28, 2016 19:16
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- Android Blues
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getting my titty squashed between two giant radioactive plates? why not just press it in the pages of a book, as one would a delicate desert rose
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Nov 28, 2016 19:20
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- Android Blues
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tfw when youre at the mammogram shop and the doctor needs to really pinch your boob to get it to go between the plates, and the lady in the leaflet has these huge honkers, and youre like "man, some people have all the luck at being squashed tits-wise between these huge radioactive plates"
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Nov 28, 2016 19:22
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- Android Blues
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Wanted: Mammogram Model for Leaflet Photography (MUST have huge honkers - therefore to demonstrate the power of the mammogram, and cohere to the patient its true threat)
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Nov 28, 2016 19:23
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- Android Blues
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when i see a mammogram machine squashing those huge honkers its like the feeling a cave woman probably got when she watched a pterodactyl pick up a mammoth and carry it away into the sky. awe - dread - and like, the pterodactyl is eating the mammoth before its even dead
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Nov 28, 2016 19:25
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- Android Blues
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titty doctor: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.
me: I admire its purity. A titty squashing device … unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.
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Nov 28, 2016 19:28
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- FutonForensic
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every day women are getting their bits smushed in a panini press and I'm just sitting here doing nothing. well no longer
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Nov 28, 2016 19:42
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- FactsAreUseless
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getting my titty squashed between two giant radioactive plates? why not just press it in the pages of a book, as one would a delicate desert rose
tfw when youre at the mammogram shop and the doctor needs to really pinch your boob to get it to go between the plates, and the lady in the leaflet has these huge honkers, and youre like "man, some people have all the luck at being squashed tits-wise between these huge radioactive plates"
Wanted: Mammogram Model for Leaflet Photography (MUST have huge honkers - therefore to demonstrate the power of the mammogram, and cohere to the patient its true threat)
when i see a mammogram machine squashing those huge honkers its like the feeling a cave woman probably got when she watched a pterodactyl pick up a mammoth and carry it away into the sky. awe - dread - and like, the pterodactyl is eating the mammoth before its even dead
titty doctor: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.
me: I admire its purity. A titty squashing device … unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.
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Nov 28, 2016 20:06
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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If my mammogram is delivered by a woman named Angie, would that make it an angiogram?
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Nov 28, 2016 20:18
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- alnilam
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And who can possibly forget the famous "mammogram for Mongo" scene from Blazing Saddles?
"Mongo like mammaries!" he says, and then the poor woman explodes, unaware of what the "federal booby inspectors" were really implanting in her. We had really gotten to know and love that character, too. My god, the audience thinks, sheriff Bart and the Waco Kid are terrifying, they really will stoop to any level in the name of justice... but justice, for whom?
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Nov 28, 2016 23:29
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- alnilam
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Nov 28, 2016 23:33
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- FactsAreUseless
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Doctors couldn't care one way or the other about cancer, but I do know one thing: they love putting radiation inside some big flippy-flappy bazongas. Just batting them around with ping-pong paddles made out of alpha particles and having a real good time as they boing all over the place.
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Nov 29, 2016 01:31
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- FactsAreUseless
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And if you do get cancer? Good news, the doctors have a different kind of radiation they can shoot into your sweater pupae while they chant and holler and your chesty breasties fly around like they're in a wind tunnel.
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Nov 29, 2016 01:32
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- social vegan
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a mammogram?! that must be some good weed
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Nov 29, 2016 02:55
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- Piso Mojado
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And who can possibly forget the famous "mammogram for Mongo" scene from Blazing Saddles?
lol
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Nov 29, 2016 04:32
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- Piso Mojado
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Nov 29, 2016 04:33
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- Piso Mojado
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"More like NO MA'AM-agram" - funny thing I say to the doctor which is confusing since neither of us are ladies and he never suggested one to begin with.
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Nov 29, 2016 04:39
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- Piso Mojado
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mammograms would be much more fun for everyone if they made a whoopie cushion fart sound as the plates began to press
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Nov 29, 2016 04:46
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- MrWillsauce
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I thought a mammogram was when they cut off your breasts
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Nov 29, 2016 15:14
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- FactsAreUseless
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I thought a mammogram was when they cut off your breasts
That's a lady lumpectomy.
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Nov 29, 2016 16:19
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- social vegan
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ah, nature's smore!
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Nov 29, 2016 18:01
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- Android Blues
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Women's Health BYOB
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Nov 29, 2016 18:22
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- Android Blues
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patient: alright doc, go ahead. do it - crush my titty. [pounding fist on table] turn me into the human version of orange pulp you god drat animal
doctor: alright, first a few questions. where do you feel the lump?
patient: what lump?
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Nov 29, 2016 18:47
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- social vegan
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*my substitute teacher for fourth grade french lays on table that slowly slides out from fMRI machine*
*behind glass, my class waits nervously with the doctor, my heart pounding in my chest*
doctor: *turns to us* now there has been a lot of hearsay throughout the classroom but I'm afraid you will all have to face the cold hard facts..
doctor: *a final glance back to the computer monitor before returning his gaze to us* ...she is, in fact, a ma'am
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Nov 29, 2016 18:55
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- FactsAreUseless
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BYOB/GYN
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Nov 29, 2016 19:14
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- Android Blues
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new cave paintings appear to reveal primitive "stone age" mammogram
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Nov 29, 2016 19:33
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- Android Blues
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Behold! Using the power of glow rock, we have tamed the human breast!
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Nov 29, 2016 19:34
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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new cave paintings appear to reveal primitive "stone age" mammogram
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Nov 29, 2016 19:35
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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FYI a lot of people train at home using simple household objects like two large books or a george forman grill
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Nov 29, 2016 19:35
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- Ahundredbux
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The right to bear arms
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Nov 29, 2016 19:39
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- FutonForensic
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haha i can't believe she actually did it. she actually put her titties on a plate and got them squished with another plate. ding ding order up haha, serve this plate full o' titty to someone who isn't a total loving rube, oh my god haha
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Nov 29, 2016 19:53
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 04:37
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- Piso Mojado
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new cave paintings appear to reveal primitive "stone age" mammogram
Lol
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Nov 29, 2016 20:22
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