quote:

[Australia] Husband thrown out of American expats club over "obesity" and humiliated by club's new president.

Me and my husband are members of an American expats club, fully paid up, we live here in New South Wales. We're 36/F, 34/M. We went to a meeting recently, well, last Friday, and the expat club had announced a new president, then the president said to my husband that he needed to speak with her in private, and he went to a small room, my husband told me he remembers her yelling at him, screaming, forced him to strip to his underwear, and said "You're loving obese, and for that, you're banned from this club." He said he remembers she took photos of his dick on her iPhone and kept yelling at him to "lose weight" and threatened "I'll get the cops on you if you and your sluttyqueen wife return." There's nothing in the club rules about obesity, and my husband hasn't been abusive, he pays his fees etc. Does ths count as discrimination? My husband isn't obese as it is, but he isn't skinny.
I'm not sure what to do for the best here; we've been members of this expats club for 10 years now.
Would anyone be able to help me?

Bonster posted:

That's a really ugly cake. You would think she could have gone with one that at least looks nice for her amateur photo session, not so dry and tasteless.

Naerasa posted:

almightyerin posted:

From legal advice...

almightyerin posted:

From legal advice...

quote:

My husband isn't obese as it is, but he isn't skinny.

almightyerin posted:

From legal advice...

Bonster posted:

That's a really ugly cake. You would think she could have gone with one that at least looks nice for her amateur photo session, not so dry and tasteless.

almightyerin posted:

From legal advice...

almightyerin posted:

From legal advice...

sinking belle posted:

The wording here is really odd. "He remembers her yelling at him", "he said he remembers she took photos of his dick"? Why not just "he says [obviously made up poo poo]"?

is it because it didn't happen and the person who wrote this is a weirdo with Real Problems? i think it is

almightyerin posted:

The people in the comments seem to think he sent the president an unsolicited dick pic and was kicked out for that.

Syncopated posted:

Why would someone be thrown out of an american expat club for being obese anyway, that would be the main entry requirement.

Captain Yossarian posted:

An American expat club IN AUSTRALIA of all places... Aren't the nations equally as fat?

Uncle Enzo posted:

No, I remember that Australia recently passed the US as the world's fattest country


The dick pic idea is definitely it. The private conversation, why she has a picture of his dingdong, why they can't talk anymore and be in the club, the club president's physical revulsion to him. Also she insulted you too honey don't try to get the real story from her she's crazy

Uncle Enzo posted:

No, I remember that Australia recently passed the US as the world's fattest country

Uncle Enzo posted:

No, I remember that Australia recently passed the US as the world's fattest country


The dick pic idea is definitely it. The private conversation, why she has a picture of his dingdong, why they can't talk anymore and be in the club, the club president's physical revulsion to him. Also she insulted you too honey don't try to get the real story from her she's crazy

quote:

How can I stop someone from adopting my daughter?
My girlfriend has recently decided she "doesn't want to be a mom" anymore, and wants to let her paretns adopt our 10 month old daughter. We've been together off and on for 5 years, and I want her and my daughter to move in with me, but she won't talk to me. She just said that her mom was taking the baby.
If this happens, I will never see my kid again, because her parents hate me because I'm Mexican, older than her, and a tattoo artist. They blame me that she dropped out of HS, but I wanted her to live with me and finish HS or get her GED. I never gave her weed or booze, but her parents caught her with weed three years ago and they think I gave it to her, so they still hate me.
I'm not on the birth certificate because her mom threatened to call the cops if I was near the hospital, because her mom has a restraint order on me. I haven't paid official child support, but I've been giving her money, and i have a record of that.
Is there any chance of me getting custody? I live in a one bedroom, but I can move to a two bedroom in January (i can afford it), I have a steady job, a good car. I'm 25 years old, and my GF is 19 and she says she "wants to have a normal life". I think if I have our daughter, she will come back and live with me.
I don't want to say exactly where we are, but it's in southern California

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OP, not only is it possible, I actually think you should go to prison over this.
If you want to avoid that, or at least lessen it, get a lawyer.

quote:

If the court system has deemed it reasonable to issue a restraining order, her parents hate him, and he dated her when she was much younger, I really want to see it from the parent's point of view.
I highly doubt OP is as free of blame as he professes.

quote:

To add to that:
"I never touched her, never threatened her". Who feels the need to say something like that? Someone who literally didn't touch her and didn't issue explicit verbal threats maybe? Somebody who would punch the wall / throw (her) possessions around / stand between her and the door?
" I think if I have our daughter, she will come back and live with me." Disturbingly possessive / manipulative / stalkerish.
"My girlfriend" when she isn't even talking to him. 'Nuff said. First thing that comes to mind is those disturbing news stories of men killing their ex for "cheating".

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Could it be because you were statutory raping their daughter?

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'I've never touched her'
Except when you, ya know, raped her :/

quote:

her parents dont hate you bc youre mexican with tattoos they hate you because when you were twenty you started dating a girl who barely just got out of middle school. literally pedophilia. you really should have been in jail a long time ago. tbh i wouldn't push your luck. youre not on the birth certificate, not legally the dad and everyone in the kids life can agree they dont want her with you. and from what you said it seems like you mostly want your kid to trap the mom to come and live with you like youve groomed her to for about 5 years.

quote:

Sooo when does your GF turn 20? If she's any less than 19 years and 7 months old, that baby would be physical proof of statutory rape in CA.
If that is the case, you should walk away. The baby will be taken care of by its adoptive parents, and you'll maybe not go to prison for rape.
But seriously dude, you were 20 and she was 14. You wonder why the parents don't like you? Honestly you should leave this girl and family alone and pray that you don't end up in prison, and then living out your days as a registered sex offender.
You motherfucker.

Uncle Enzo posted:

No, I remember that Australia recently passed the US as the world's fattest country


The dick pic idea is definitely it. The private conversation, why she has a picture of his dingdong, why they can't talk anymore and be in the club, the club president's physical revulsion to him. Also she insulted you too honey don't try to get the real story from her she's crazy

Uncle Enzo posted:

No, I remember that Australia recently passed the US as the world's fattest country


The dick pic idea is definitely it. The private conversation, why she has a picture of his dingdong, why they can't talk anymore and be in the club, the club president's physical revulsion to him. Also she insulted you too honey don't try to get the real story from her she's crazy

54 40 or gently caress posted:

10 month old daughter

We've been together off and on for 5 years


[............]
I'm 25 years old, and my GF is 19

Fullhouse posted:

see this is why they make you put the ages in the title in relationships

quote:

My wife (24f) and I (24m) are at each other's throats over our roommate situation with my sister (19f), and there's sabotage

TL;DR - my wife is turning against my college student sister that lives with us, who allows us to afford where we live, and is purposely making her life miserable and breaking her spirit and possessions.
Let me start from the beginning by giving a little background:
My wife is very susceptible to holding extreme grudges. Her and my mother (45f) have never, NEVER, gotten along, for example. There is nothing other than bitterness and anger whenever my mother is in the picture, for ANYTHING.
90% of our 5 years of dating was long distance. (1200-1600 miles, depending) In our 3rd year of dating, my parents (aka my mom) tried to take my girlfriend out to dinner and told her to end the relationship, that they didn't want her to be a part of my life anymore (dad was just 'there' for it) This and other incidents where my mother acted out of line have created a nasty grudge that I foresee never going away. My mother is indeed a very passive aggressive, narcissistic individual. My dad brings home a very healthy income and 25 years of marriage to him must be turning her rotten, and I think it's getting worse. On the other hand, my wife came from a family that always struggled with money and job stability. Financial differences and personality differences are extensive between my mother and wife, to say the least.
Anyways, to speed things up, we continue to date and get married after 5 years.
Fast forward a few more, this last summer we moved into a bigger house (5 bedroom) that was closer to where I worked (by 60 miles) and close to the college in town - perfect, since my sister would need somewhere to live come fall semester to attend first year college. The arrangement actually puts us in a predicament: we can't afford the rent without my sister paying a portion (which actually comes from my Dad's pocket) Unfortunately, my sister is very much like my mother, and so little disagreements flare up here and there, but nothing disastrous, just normal things.
Things were going fine until 3 weeks ago, suddenly my wife decided that my sister was not being enough of an adult, and that she is "making poor life decisions". Apparently these poor decisions include:
Not getting a job
At 18 credit hours, she has enough class time and school work to prevent her from a job. I'm perfectly fine with her living off of Daddys money, since she's full time at school, has 5 classes, all with grades ranging from 96% - 110%. She excels wonderfully in school. Good for her, and it's not our place if Dad pays for it. My wife thinks otherwise. My sister kept promising to get a job "next week, next week", and never has, and so my wife feels lied to.
Dating a boy
My sister kept going back and forth about this boy. She says she doesn't want a relationship, then started hanging out with him every day, said she doesn't want a relationship still, and then the next week they are exclusive. I mean, for Pete's sake, I don't care, but my wife decided it affected her personally for my sister to be so indecisive on the matter. Indecisiveness is one of the main traits my wife absolutely HATES about my mother, so this in particular set my wife off terribly.
Not helping around the house enough
This one I slightly agree with, since we all live in the same house, so we should split the chores and duties. My sister only would ever do one thing: like unload the dishwasher. But not load the dishwasher, even if the sink and counter are overflowing with dishes. (IMHO, if you unload, then you better start another load, don't just let the dishwasher take a day off. We are a young married couple with very few dishes, so if a pile accumulates after a day, then we are suddenly without any clean dishes very easily)
Among other things that I really can't recall, all of this is very hypocritical: my wife partied, drank, smoked, screwed off, and COMPLETELY flunked her first year of college, and the $18000 students loans for it are very unforgiving.
In bitter and hypocritical anger, my wife decided to flatten all of my sisters tires when she abandoned us for 5 days to spend the Thanksgiving break with her new boyfriend, 400 miles away, with his family instead of with us.
My wife and I got into a heated argument after I was able to get the neighbors air compressor to fill them back up. "It's her problem, make her deal with it!" - is my wife's answer. My sister was finally back in town by then but out hanging with some friends all day, movies, eating pizza, etc. Which, according to my wife, is another "poor life decision" - that she's out having fun while we fix her problem.
This is where I rightfully get pissed off. It's not her problem by pure misfortune - MY WIFE FLATTENED THEM. She created the problem! My wife and I slept in separate rooms, we apologized later in the day to each other, but never got to solving the root of the problem.
Last night, my wife snuck out when I fell asleep and flattened 2 tires, again. I only found out when my wife peeked out to the driveway and saw that my sister had left early for the day. She was giddy and smiling over how my sister had driven off with 2 flat tires. My sister, completely clueless to what driving with flat tires sounds and feels like, drove around town all day on them. BOTH tires are now ruined.
I've felt absolutely bitter and sick to my stomach. My wife is drastically turning into this nasty, hypocritical, sadistic (expletive). During thse past few weeks, we've had multiple arguments. My wife has also purposely going out of her way in excluded my sister the past few weeks from meals, games, babysitting my son, and even hung Christmas stockings up for everyone except my sister: making the tension even worse.
I feel there is only one outcome, due to my wife's nature of clinging on to grudges: and that's to kick my sister out. And I absolutely don't want to do it.
We can't afford the rent increase. Between my wife's student loans, medical bills, car loan and insurance, rent, and credit card debt, we have $200 / month for all other expenses. That includes groceries AND unexpected expenses. Having two ruined flat tires, for example, would even destroy us financially, we have no savings. We live paycheck to paycheck. We aren't buying a single thing for Christmas, just like last year. This portion could bleed over into /r/personalfinance so I'll stop here.
But what I came here to /r/relationships for is to ask: what in the sam hell do I do?
Do I kick my sister out, which makes my wife happy without solving the real root of the problem, and slowly destroy our finances? We've been tight financially for months, which already stresses our marriage. This would only prove for more strain between my wife and I, on top of the strain between us and my sister/family for going this route.
Does my sister stay? If so, how can I repair the relationship between my sister and my wife? I've about lost it with my wife, and I conjured fantasies of breaking furniture, screaming at her, and taking off in the car for a couple days. I'm a little more calm at the moment, but I feel I'm a powder keg about to explode.
Do my wife and I need some time apart? How in the heck do I even approach such a thing?
Wherein does the root of the problem really lie? I really don't think my sister is making "poor life decisions".
At this point, I just want solace and peace. I want to be free from financial stress, which I don't see much changing there, but I want to be free from all of this animosity that has developed.

almightyerin posted:

Jesus what a bitch.

WampaLord posted:

What kind of a college gives out grades higher than 100%?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Probably want to grow into it. My house is five bedrooms and our first won't be here until April. But also that way we have some extra room for what we want- gym, office, studio plus bedroom for us and bedroom for kid. I'd be more modest about the privilege to have all that but I worked pretty darn hard! Then again, we can afford it without renting to a family member so therein lies he larger question for them.

C-SPAN Caller posted:

A 5 bedroom house with no kids? Why?

C-SPAN Caller posted:

She's probably getting an arts degree since sciences are cruel with grades

C-SPAN Caller posted:

She's probably getting an arts degree since sciences are cruel with grades