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Memento posted:OH MY GOD SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND JACKED OFF ON MY BED- oh wait nevermind it was cat vomit That raises a number of questions: – What the hell did the cat throw up that could even look a little bit like semen? That is really the only question.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:34
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Something is amiss in your house. You have a pet. Why did you not immediately suspect/blame the pet? It's always the pet.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:35
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FuhrerHat posted:Something is amiss in your house. You have a pet. Why did you not immediately suspect/blame the pet? It's always the pet. Agreed, but "schizo uncle" instead of "pet"
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Dec 3, 2016 03:39
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Yesterday my dog picked a fight with a snake and I nearly had a heart attack because if it bit her it would have killed her, no question. Luckily it was more interested in running the gently caress away than fighting back against the idiot terrier who woke it up from a sun nap. Schadenfreude on the poor snake, the stupid dog, and me, I guess.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:47
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Powaqoatse posted:That raises a number of questions: Cats can throw up on an empty or near empty stomach, and they just hack up some white semi-clear stomach fluid. It's gross but not as gross as full on kitty spew. I know this because our cat gets too goddamn anxious in the morning waiting for us to feed him, and he'll hack up "nothing" on occasion.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:49
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This is all I read now: "Yesterday my crazy uncle picked a fight with a john and I nearly had a heart attack because if he bit him it would have killed me, no question. Luckily I was more interested in running the gently caress away than fighting back against the idiot terrier who woke me up from a sun nap. Schadenfreude on my hosed up uncle, the stupid dogg, and that other guy, I guess."
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Dec 3, 2016 03:50
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LogisticEarth posted:Cats can throw up on an empty or near empty stomach, and they just hack up some white semi-clear stomach fluid. It's gross but not as gross as full on kitty spew. Oh that. I'll reveal my goonity and say no, that doesn't really look like semen. It's semi-clear & kinda viscous, yes, and so is human spit. Human stomach-acid, probably too? I just mean if I'm sleeping in my apartment with my partner and there's suddenly a gross patch on the sheets? It's more likely one of us than it is a serial masturbator or the cat, lol. I wanna live in a place where cat puke makes me call the cops.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:54
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Yeah it's absolutely a story of "idiot person jumps immediately to the worst conclusion possible". Having said that, my cats have definitely yakked up some cat yak that a very perfunctory examination might mistake for jizz if you had no sense of smell and the light was bad.
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Dec 3, 2016 04:36
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Girl cuts in front of guy in line, guy picks her purse in retaliation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trUCpAdXE0I
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Dec 3, 2016 04:39
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FCKGW posted:Girl cuts in front of guy in line, guy picks her purse in retaliation She doesn't cut in front (those two "lawyers" are done & leaving). The two other dudes have set up there to pick pockets, though. They don't even pretend to get ready as the queue moves, and then the classic bum a smoke->leave for the guy with the stash.
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Dec 3, 2016 04:52
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FCKGW posted:Girl cuts in front of guy in line, guy picks her purse in retaliation like in jack reacher when he leaves the broken car and some dude gives him a hat to cover his escape edit: yes that's criminal tag team action for sure
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Dec 3, 2016 04:59
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FuhrerHat posted:There are hypoallergenic animals! Hypoallergenic pets are a myth. I can't overstate how allergic I am. If I had a dime for every time a school friend's parents deep cleaned their house so I could come over, and I'd have to leave sooner than I'd like, I could prolly pay the adoption fees for a bunch of animals. My parents said they both had allergies to dogs and cats, but it faded growing up and if I just waited it out, I'd be fine. Nope. MisterBibs has a new favorite as of 06:59 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 06:56
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Dec 3, 2016 07:02
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MisterBibs posted:Hypoallergenic pets are a myth. I can't overstate how allergic I am. If I had a dime for every time a school friend's parents deep cleaned their house so I could come over, and I'd have to leave sooner than I'd like, I could prolly pay the adoption fees for a bunch of animals. I'm sorry Bibs but it kind of seems like natural selection wants you to go.
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Dec 3, 2016 07:10
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Aphrodite posted:I'm sorry Bibs but it kind of seems like natural selection wants you to go. Can I have your stuff?
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Dec 3, 2016 07:10
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Aphrodite posted:I'm sorry Bibs but it kind of seems like natural selection wants you to go. Or it wants him to kill dogs and cats. 
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Dec 3, 2016 07:13
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I was trying to help, but looks like you're a goner. You could always try a pig?
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Dec 3, 2016 07:19
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Aphrodite posted:I'm sorry Bibs but it kind of seems like natural selection wants you to go. I've had real discussions with my girlfriend about our future in that area, because I hate a lot of the genetic lottery I got dealt and wouldn't wish any of it on anyone, much less a child. 
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Dec 3, 2016 07:22
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MisterBibs posted:I've had real discussions with my girlfriend about our future in that area, because I hate a lot of the genetic lottery I got dealt and wouldn't wish any of it on anyone, much less a child.  I forgot you almost got killed by swallowing too much pork.FuhrerHat posted:I was trying to help, but looks like you're a goner. 
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Dec 3, 2016 07:23
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MisterBibs posted:I've had real discussions with my girlfriend about our future in that area, because I hate a lot of the genetic lottery I got dealt and wouldn't wish any of it on anyone, much less a child. Get an aquarium. But fill it with jello and goldfish crackers to save money.
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Dec 3, 2016 07:26
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^ Aquariums were lovely sorry-you-cant-have-real-pets when I was 6, and they still are now.  Chichevache posted:
Eh, it's not the food impaction that bothers me about potentially giving my kid Eosinophilic Esophagitis that bothers me, it's all the other stuff. Like, I can deal with having something I have to get checked out yearly to make sure it hasn't turned to cancer, it's knowing I risk subjecting a kid to that? That just really sucks, especially when EE is known so little that the odds of medicine knowing more anytime soon is gently caress-all.
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Dec 3, 2016 07:38
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Goldfish bowls are bad, but planted and reef tanks own. 
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Dec 3, 2016 07:44
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Saltwater tanks are a lot of fun, if you hate having money.
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Dec 3, 2016 08:01
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If you don't hate money, look up Amano tanks. It's some next level fresh water feng shui aquatic art. The guy who developed the style even has a shrimp species named after him.
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Dec 3, 2016 08:19
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Saltwater tanks are a lot of fun, if you hate having money. I kind of have a weird life goal of raising shrimp, lobsters or crab now ever since I met someone who did and it was awesome. They're stupid lovely sea roaches for the most part but they're so drat cool.
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Dec 3, 2016 09:22
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3Kax1oohyA
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Dec 3, 2016 10:08
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Nuebot posted:I kind of have a weird life goal of raising shrimp, lobsters or crab now ever since I met someone who did and it was awesome. They're stupid lovely sea roaches for the most part but they're so drat cool. Also they're all loving delicious so that's a bonus.
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Dec 3, 2016 10:22
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MisterBibs posted:I've had real discussions with my girlfriend about our future in that area, because I hate a lot of the genetic lottery I got dealt and wouldn't wish any of it on anyone, much less a child. Have you tried a pet rock? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_Rock
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Dec 3, 2016 10:25
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MisterBibs posted:I know that pet ownership isn't all lollipops and rainbows, but having pets seems awfully fulfilling. Working from home has let me catch up on a lot of sleep, as my cat has always had a habit of meowing outside my door at 2-4 AM, since she apparently needs someone to accompany her to her food bowl and stroke her while she eats. On the upside, I've never missed my morning prayers since.
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Dec 3, 2016 10:52
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Platystemon posted:Whole Tumblr blog of these: https://trumpgrets.tumblr.com/ Nooo, you posted the source! Now I have no more content!
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Dec 3, 2016 10:59
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RareAcumen posted:Nooo, you posted the source! Now I have no more content! Chrome gives me an SSL error when I try to go there so feel free to keep mirroring the best ones so I don't have to risk getting a TrumpVirus on my PC.
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Dec 3, 2016 13:32
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plain blue jacket posted:Have you tried a pet rock? He'll probably choke on that too.
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Dec 3, 2016 14:18
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VanSandman posted:He'll probably choke on that too. Dammit, that was the first thing I thought of posting too 
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Dec 3, 2016 15:01
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Rolo posted:I'm a pilot... From way back but this would make a good Ask/Tell thread if you feel like making one.
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Dec 3, 2016 16:12
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MisterBibs posted:Hypoallergenic pets are a myth. I can't overstate how allergic I am. If I had a dime for every time a school friend's parents deep cleaned their house so I could come over, and I'd have to leave sooner than I'd like, I could prolly pay the adoption fees for a bunch of animals. Whoever wrote that article doesn't seem to have bothered actually looking up the definition of "hypoallergenic": hypoallergenic hy·po·al·ler·gen·ic (hī'pō-āl'ər-jěn'ĭk) adj. Having a decreased tendency to provoke an allergic reaction. The American Heritage® Stedman's Medical Dictionary So, yes, myth intact; hypoallergenic pets are exactly what everybody claims them to be (according to that very article).
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Dec 3, 2016 16:59
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MisterBibs posted:Like, I can deal with having something I have to get checked out yearly to make sure it hasn't turned to cancer, it's knowing I risk subjecting a kid to that? That just really sucks, especially when EE is known so little that the odds of medicine knowing more anytime soon is gently caress-all. The schadenfreude will be on nature if you adopt and have a happy, loving family. 
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Dec 3, 2016 17:18
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edit: nm
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Dec 3, 2016 17:58
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Kid skidenfreude. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3ZmQ4bJR1k
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Dec 3, 2016 21:36
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So, do you think "uh-oh. Out" means that the mother is gonna own up to it and tell the lifeguard, or she's just gonna pack up and get out of there as fast as possible?
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Dec 3, 2016 21:55
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Dec 3, 2016 21:58
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