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fish and chips and dip posted:On the UK: “Hahaha, The British,’ like a lion,they like to roar,but can no longer hunt.’” (English her own.) That's about right lol.
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Dec 3, 2016 11:58
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Prokhor Zakharov posted:If there's a Face Fort Knox the ol' Trumpster is burning it to the ground FAAAACEFINGER
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Dec 3, 2016 12:47
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Alan Smithee posted:FAAAACEFINGER DOO DOO DODODODOOOO
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Dec 3, 2016 12:48
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I love how a typical Chinese argument seems to boil down to calling someone a liar (without any explanation) and accusing the person of hating China (without any explanation). Bonus points if they do so with idioms or references to classical Chinese without any original words of their own.
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Dec 3, 2016 13:39
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just wait until the trade war starts. then beijing will be really apoplectic
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Dec 3, 2016 13:59
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The Worst This is the summary in green text style about that medical industry girl that I had originally offended when I told her the truth about how Chinese people treat me sometimes. She canceled our pizza date, which made me upset because I was looking forward to pizza more than meeting her. She decided she just wanted to "talk" at my house. I told her we are not having sex, just talking and maybe kiss or two. She agrees. Me at home. Nice and clean house, shaved face, dressed in my best, waiting for her to show up. She's late. I'm in a video chat with Smorke Girl, my good normal friend. Tell her I really don't want to meet this woman, I want to go eat pizza and take a walk. She keeps making fun of me. I tell her I don't want sex or anything tonight, I just want a full stomach. She continues making fun of me and says what if that girl demands sex or tries to rape me? I get a little freaked out. The Worst Girl arrives and sits in her car downstairs and tells me she'll be up when she's ready. I offer to get her, but she declines and say she'll find my room. 15 minutes later there's a knock, and I hear two voices. I open the door. She's standing there with my landlord, who is doing some work in the hall. She got lost and asked this nice chap for directions. Shoot me already. He gives me a stupid smile. She's dressed very sexy and big coat and high heels and stockings. She looks as good as the photos. Takes her shoes off, loses about 15cm from her height. We talk and eat fruit. Her English is decent, but not good enough for a legit conversation. She asks for the toilet. I try to point. Hand hits the fruit bowl and it flies and shatters into 1000 pieces. Fruit everywhere. Shards everywhere. I have to sweep and mop while she lays in my bed pretending to be "sleepy." I join her there and we kiss a little. Hand goes low. Her vagina was erect. Like, it was popping out about 3cm. Vag-boner. I go down. She starts shouting. I remind her my one rule is to be quiet because I hate shouters and my landlord is in the hallway. She gets louder. REALLY LOUD. I stop everything. She says sorry, asks me to go again. I do. She's getting loud so I put a finger in her mouth. She's biting it trying not to shout. She has her climax and lets go of my finger. She starts screaming. Seriously screaming. She sounds like she is going to die and I am terrified someone is going to bum-rush my room thinking a murder is going on. I have never seen this level of insanity during a climax, nor have my ears heard such a cacophony of shrieking. There is nothing sexual about this scream, and it switches to the sound of crying. She doesn't shut up, she just keeps going while I sit there staring wide-eyed. I want it to stop. I get angry because this is just horrible. She finally stops. "Are you mad?" "Yes. I said you had to be quiet. I think half the building heard you getting murdered in here." "You're stupid. This is normal. Don't tell me what to do." Dick was already soft, but now climbs into my balls for the night. She rolls over and refuses to talk to me. I try to hug her, just so I can get her to go home sooner. She immediately flips over and tries to tackle me. She tries to force herself onto my penis. Surprise, bitch, guess who got his underwear on? She yanks them down and tries to force herself onto me. I grab him and deflect and push her off. She's furious. Totally rejected. She says I am a bad man. A not well man! She is going home. I remind her we both agreed to not have sex. She dresses and leaves without saying another word. Check my Wechat. She had already deleted me. She had poop breath too. Tl;Dr: A sexily dressed woman tried to force sex on me after shouting so loudly in such an awful way, and left within an hour of coming to my house, that now there's no doubt in my landlord's mind that I just had a prostitute over. FML.
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Dec 3, 2016 14:47
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I'm beginning to think China not good for healthy love life.
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Dec 3, 2016 14:55
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Haier posted:The Worst clearly not knowing about your japanese penis.... Haier posted:She had poop breath too. hot
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Dec 3, 2016 14:55
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Foreign sex sounds pretty bad.
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Dec 3, 2016 14:57
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:That's about right lol. Broken clocks etc.
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Dec 3, 2016 15:13
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Will Chinese prostitutes see foreigners, Haier? That seems like the best route to avoid crazy.
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Dec 3, 2016 15:44
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Watching Trump and China makes me thing the tolliest thing to do is casually mention to Trump "Hey you know the Chinese hate Taiwan right? That's cool but don't take it too far. There's a phrase that riles them right up 'Taiwan # 1', don't tweet that it'll really piss them off okay?" He'll drop it within 24 hours, probably around 3am. That's not even hyperbole.
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Dec 3, 2016 15:56
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Automatic Slim posted:Will Chinese prostitutes see foreigners, Haier? That seems like the best route to avoid crazy.
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Dec 3, 2016 16:03
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nickmeister posted:I love how a typical Chinese argument seems to boil down to calling someone a liar (without any explanation) and accusing the person of hating China (without any explanation). Bonus points if they do so with idioms or references to classical Chinese without any original words of their own. If it is online they mostly use the words "Anti-China Bashing", "Anti-China Basher". They will repost this if required to keep up visibility some of the time and use it as their default "burn". It's is lazy as hell. Taiwan #1 would be amazing and horrifying as the would be riots and people dying on the streets.
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Dec 3, 2016 16:06
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oohhboy posted:If it is online they mostly use the words "Anti-China Bashing", "Anti-China Basher". They will repost this if required to keep up visibility some of the time and use it as their default "burn". It's is lazy as hell. I don't know if it would go that far, but you would definitely see the PLA have to mobilize in typical hot-spots (probably larger universities) to persuade butthurt 20-something men from making big demonstrations. 1989, started with nationalists protesting a bunch of black people being allowed to go to Chinese universities, and then morphed into a democracy protest. The CCP now equates any possible protest with that first one, and the possibility of another anti CCP movement arising from it. Given that they have been planting the seeds of ultra-nationalism for years and years, and now are having to expend considerable resources to keep it in check, something like Trump tweeting "Taiwan #1" could be seen as a legit threat to the stability of the CCP, and to hell with the diplomatic consequences. Uncle Xi has been cultivating an image as a strong leader who is going to make China strong. The implied strength is military power, and CCP has been working overtime in making lots of clips, short segments, and full-blown documentaries on the new PLA/PLAN/PLAA's capabilities. If Trump could say, "Taiwan #1" and Xi can't give them a concrete example of how they have struck back and hurt him, then the amount of face that Xi has lost will be staggering. When you build yourself up as a "strongman" and then get pushed without being able to push back, then the legitimacy of your position has been dealt a massive blow. The best example of China being able to deal the US some manner of blow was the Hainan Island incident, when one of their fighters collided with a US spy plane. The Chinese pilot died, the US signal intelligence plane had to make an emergency landing on Hainan, and the crew were basically held hostage until the US released a statement. They did a pretty good job with the statement, to make it ambiguous enough that the Chinese would be satisfied, without admitting any fault on the part of the US, but naturally the message was heavily edited for local consumption, and basically made to say, "We're sorry we rammed your plane, it was our fault, so sorry!". This was pretty much the gold-standard of China sticking it to the US diplomatically, and it only happened because of an unusual string of events that resulted in them miraculously having all the cards in their hands.
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Dec 3, 2016 16:28
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Haier posted:I just really hope my landlord doesn't get some idea that I am trouble because of this. dunno as this also might make for a fun story
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Dec 3, 2016 16:32
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Guys do I hate China because I cracked up once when a guy told me his name was Wang Dong
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Dec 3, 2016 18:18
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C-SPAN Caller posted:Guys do I hate China because I cracked up once when a guy told me his name was Wang Dong Not if you were 12.
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Dec 3, 2016 18:32
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cnut posted:Not if you were 12. No I was legally an adult but it was long after I met him
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Dec 3, 2016 18:36
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C-SPAN Caller posted:Guys do I hate China because I cracked up once when a guy told me his name was Wang Dong when entering shanghai from pudong international airport you will drive along LongDong Avenue, and you will giggle. every time
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Dec 3, 2016 18:40
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LentThem posted:when entering shanghai from pudong international airport you will drive along LongDong Avenue, and you will giggle. every time please don't laugh at china's long dong thanks
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Dec 3, 2016 19:16
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C-SPAN Caller posted:Guys do I hate China because I cracked up once when a guy told me his name was Wang Dong I once gave in to student demands to learn words for penis in English. I said okay fine, we'll learn two that you should know because you speak Chinese and might accidentally say them. I wrote wang and dong on the board and explained these meant penis. Students lost their poo poo entirely for ages, and eventually pointed out that one of the kids in the class was named Wang Dong. I apologized for ruining his life.
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Dec 3, 2016 19:23
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So much collateral face loss.
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Dec 3, 2016 19:25
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Grand Fromage posted:I once gave in to student demands to learn words for penis in English. I said okay fine, we'll learn two that you should know because you speak Chinese and might accidentally say them. I wrote wang and dong on the board and explained these meant penis. What's funny is it's a super common name but most people that come over that are stuck with that name just pick up an english first name then pretend their name is hard to pronounce when pressed why they don't use their chinese name
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Dec 3, 2016 19:27
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C-SPAN Caller posted:What's funny is it's a super common name but most people that come over that are stuck with that name just pick up an english first name then pretend their name is hard to pronounce when pressed why they don't use their chinese name Hi, my name is Li Na. This probably so difficult for you to pronounce, so I chose an English name, Malvieriendida
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Dec 3, 2016 19:33
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If I had to adopt a Chinese name, what's the closest I can get to "Bitter Pedantic rear end in a top hat"?
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Dec 3, 2016 19:42
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:That's about right lol. On the other hand, Chinese "journalist" in 2016, or Argentinian military officer in 1982?
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Dec 3, 2016 20:15
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Well What Now posted:If I had to adopt a Chinese name, what's the closest I can get to "Bitter Pedantic rear end in a top hat"? Xi Jinping
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Dec 3, 2016 21:24
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Well What Now posted:If I had to adopt a Chinese name, what's the closest I can get to "Bitter Pedantic rear end in a top hat"? mao zedong lol
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Dec 3, 2016 21:36
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Prokhor Zakharov posted:mao zedong lol He said "Pedantic" not "Paedophilic".
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Dec 3, 2016 22:25
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I'm off to Shanghai. Who's in shanghai again? I might be able to come out for dinner
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Dec 4, 2016 01:52
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hey whatever happened to Pro PRC Laowai, I just thought of that guy did he get banned?
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Dec 4, 2016 03:28
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LentThem posted:when entering shanghai from pudong international airport you will drive along LongDong Avenue, and you will giggle. every time Here's what looks very China: http://i.imgur.com/SG9Z3pN.gifv
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Dec 4, 2016 05:00
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Apparently there's a marathon today. I remember my friend said she was going to run in it as her first full marathon. It's almost 27C/80F, sunny and hazy, and with AQI of 170. I imagine 4-5 hours huffing and puffing in this soup will make a lot of sore throats and lungs. Some guy died in a marathon here last year.
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Dec 4, 2016 05:38
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i sincerely dont want to believe you people describing this cultural inability to judge for oneself if the weather actually calls for winter clothing/food
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Dec 4, 2016 05:46
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When I got back here after spending summer in the UK it was still 30+ degrees everyday. My girlfriend had been learning to swim whilst I was away so I suggested we go for a swim, found out we couldn't because the swimming pools had all closed since it was too cold now...
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Dec 4, 2016 05:58
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Invisible Handjob posted:hey whatever happened to Pro PRC Laowai, I just thought of that guy modest Mao or sincx? Both basically got ran out of the thread because this is not a PRC Safe Space.
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Dec 4, 2016 06:01
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basic hitler posted:i sincerely dont want to believe you people describing this cultural inability to judge for oneself if the weather actually calls for winter clothing/food same. TCM can't be that serious
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Dec 4, 2016 06:03
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Invisible Handjob posted:hey whatever happened to Pro PRC Laowai, I just thought of that guy Yorkshire Pudding posted:modest Mao or sincx? Both basically got ran out of the thread because this is not a PRC Safe Space. Pictured: a woman with large mammaries  basic hitler posted:i sincerely dont want to believe you people describing this cultural inability to judge for oneself if the weather actually calls for winter clothing/food
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Dec 4, 2016 06:17
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basic hitler posted:i sincerely dont want to believe you people describing this cultural inability to judge for oneself if the weather actually calls for winter clothing/food Deceitful Penguin posted:Hrrrm, yes, it is absolutely the solid quality of the ownage against Chinar here that's the reason why very few of the Chinagoons post here in the GBS chinathread anymore
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Dec 4, 2016 06:21
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