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epenthesis posted:Well done on summarizing my adult life in one sentence. Better then blowing your 20s on WOW/videogames like a former roommate of mine.
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Dec 4, 2016 01:13
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If this thread didn't have enough stories to prove otherwise, I'd assume this was a troll:https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5g7fr4/24_unemployed_10000_in_savings_tired_of_renting/ posted:24, unemployed, $10000 in savings. Tired of renting. Mortgage options? (self.personalfinance) quote:Precisely what do you consider normal? Are you implying that your opinion to be connected to a city sewage grid is the ONLY acceptable form of waste management? Perhaps you have degrees in microbiology or sustainable waste management? This is immensely silly. There are far more options than the few you listed.
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Dec 4, 2016 01:19
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*my adult life through 2012 But thank you; that would have been useful for me a few years ago.
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Dec 4, 2016 03:05
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Hello I would like to purchase a 600sq ft condo with a bucket potty
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Dec 4, 2016 05:36
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quote:Alcohol is just the easy way to go about things I mean how many people can actually even get 'addicted' to working out. Not to mention how much healthier that would obviously be.
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Dec 4, 2016 12:35
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I know MLM is hilariously bad with money, but what if you sign up with Amway, Mary Kay, Tupperware or similar and sell them through a retail storefront or on eBay? Or do they have in their terms and conditions that it MUST be sold through homeparties and door-to-door?
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Dec 4, 2016 12:40
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Thanks for posting this thread. A lot of it hits very close to home for me.
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Dec 4, 2016 12:53
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evobatman posted:I know MLM is hilariously bad with money, but what if you sign up with Amway, Mary Kay, Tupperware or similar and sell them through a retail storefront or on eBay? Or do they have in their terms and conditions that it MUST be sold through homeparties and door-to-door? Uhh I think they're happy if you manage to sell, doesn't matter how you do it. The problem with eBay is that you lose the social pressure and sales techniques you can apply irl so there's no reason anyone would buy your stuff (cause it's way overpriced). Also, you can't recruit new sellers, which is a big part of MLM income
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Dec 4, 2016 12:54
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Yeah the only reason anyone buys that bullshit is "to help out my girlfriend". You'd never make any money selling it online. Retail pharmacists in my area make about $132k per year. My first pharmacy manager was selling Arbonne. I just, you know, kept my comments to myself and declined to buy anything on my (at the time) $10/hr wages.
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Dec 4, 2016 19:24
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http://www.npr.org/2016/12/03/504158266/i-dont-want-to-be-the-breadwinner-in-my-marriage-anymore posted:My husband has a life that many people who are "rule-followers," like me, would envy. When I first met him, it was undeniably a passionate love affair. I'd never dated anyone or known anyone like him before. He took risks, lived all over the world, had many passions and has been a loyal friend. He's seven years older than I am, and we met at work, where his power and seniority at the office was insanely attractive to me. The year we got married, he wanted to take a risk and go back to graduate school to find his dream job. I trusted his judgment, and between his savings, my new job, and some sacrifices, we comfortably lived while he went through two years of graduate school. My husband now has his dream job. I'm proud of everything he's accomplished and what we were able to do together to make it happen. Is basing your attraction to your husband on his income GWM or BWM?
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Dec 4, 2016 20:35
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https://np.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/5gbufy/selling_house_to_neighbour_he_did_renovations_can/quote:Selling house to neighbour, he did renovations, can no longer buy house and wants all the money pack for the renovations (self.LegalAdviceUK) Let someone spend tens of thousands inside your house with nothing more than a "verbal agreement", what could go wrong? And the guy was spending $25 on "luxury lightswitches" 
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Dec 4, 2016 20:59
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Screw the neighbor, his work is worth nothing if he left the place in an unrentable, unsellable condition which required large sums out of pocket to correct and wasted three years of time.
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Dec 4, 2016 22:40
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quote:I have an employee I love. He's smart, he's funny - everyone loves him. He drinks too much. Oh no that describes me but i don't even drink at all so i assume it just makes me a very bad person oh no oh no
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Dec 4, 2016 22:55
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To be fair I'm actually mentally present in the mornings and my actual attendance isn't terrible I just wind up working alone most of the time (I'm assigned to teams with like one other person and the other person is busy with his second project that consumes all his time) and am late in the mornings more often than I like and I've never been selected as employee of the month while basically every other person has been 
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Dec 4, 2016 23:01
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Literally Elvis posted:Is basing your attraction to your husband on his income GWM or BWM? Kind of disgusted that neither the LW nor the people answering the question suggested "get therapy to fix my/your broken brain, as there is objectively nothing wrong with this situation."
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Dec 4, 2016 23:09
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Yeah really, gently caress him. Why should he get 'his investment' back if the owner has to spend out of pocket to get it in livable or sellable condition? When you invest you have an agreement ahead of time. So what if he isn't "good with technology." Either he has receipts and/or invoices somewhere, which show him doing unpermitted work on property he doesn't own with likely no agreement from the owner, or he doesn't. Not rocket science here. ate all the Oreos posted:Oh no that describes me but i don't even drink at all so i assume it just makes me a very bad person oh no oh no The key here is to understand that interacting with your co-workers and working productively on a team is part of your job description. At 24 I didn't understand this either, but no matter how good your product is, no matter how much your customers might love you, no matter how indispensable you might try to make yourself, no one is irreplaceable. It doesn't make you a bad person. If you don't do it innately, learn. If you have a manager or co-worker who is willing to take the time to actually tell you about the problem, instead of deciding you should just know, take any advice that person is willing to give. BonerGhost fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Dec 4, 2016 |
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Dec 4, 2016 23:14
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epenthesis posted:Kind of disgusted that neither the LW nor the people answering the question suggested "get therapy to fix my/your broken brain, as there is objectively nothing wrong with this situation." "I'm now rich and can't bear it because of what is literally the patriarchy worming its way into my brain" is such a uniquely stupid American problem 
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Dec 5, 2016 03:22
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Uh maybe I'm just talking out my rear end because I too am North American but I feel like the patriarchy is probably also a problem in other places where women have access to wealth? I don't know, just guessing.
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Dec 5, 2016 03:46
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Dogfish posted:Uh maybe I'm just talking out my rear end because I too am North American but I feel like the patriarchy is probably also a problem in other places where women have access to wealth? I don't know, just guessing. I mean obviously but this particular case of her being very upset that she can't have a handsome billionaire controlling boss husband because she happens to be more successful seems pretty American
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Dec 5, 2016 04:01
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She's conflating earning money with competence. Many people do it, and many women are attracted to men who display competence which is why uniformed professions get so much tail. She needs therapy and they need a marriage counselor stat.
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Dec 5, 2016 04:21
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Cicero posted:??? I have been trying for years to get 'addicted' to working out but instead I'm just addicted to drugs. BWM.
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Dec 5, 2016 05:15
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ate all the Oreos posted:I mean obviously but this particular case of her being very upset that she can't have a handsome billionaire controlling boss husband because she happens to be more successful seems pretty American BWM: Lifestyle creep such that you can't allow yourself to take your foot off the gas to enjoy your life, and thus have to pay a therapist a copay a week forever.
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Dec 5, 2016 05:18
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If she is earning literally 10x what he does and he was previously capable of making real money, I could see where she might feel a little resentful about that even absent ingrained cultural norms around money and gender. Add those in and her feelings are understandable. She needs to consider renegotiating thier arrangement if it bothers her that much or they are headed for splitsville. Adults don't always get to follow thier dreams.
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Dec 5, 2016 06:02
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Guess she should've been less successful so she'd be happy in her marriage.
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Dec 5, 2016 06:10
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therobit posted:If she is earning literally 10x what he does and he was previously capable of making real money, I could see where she might feel a little resentful about that even absent ingrained cultural norms around money and gender. Add those in and her feelings are understandable. She needs to consider renegotiating thier arrangement if it bothers her that much or they are headed for splitsville. Adults don't always get to follow thier dreams. If she was making 10 times the amount of someone who was managing other people in the first place then she can afford to retire at like age 30 and live off interest and roleplay her weird daddy power fantasies for the rest of her life all she wants.
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Dec 5, 2016 06:21
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Why can't I find a woman that makes 10x what I do. I would do nothing but cook, clean, and sit ups for that woman.
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Dec 5, 2016 17:02
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therobit posted:If she is earning literally 10x what he does and he was previously capable of making real money, I could see where she might feel a little resentful about that even absent ingrained cultural norms around money and gender. Add those in and her feelings are understandable. She needs to consider renegotiating thier arrangement if it bothers her that much or they are headed for splitsville. Adults don't always get to follow thier dreams. Why should she feel resentment? He's working, and she takes great pains to point out what a good husband he is in every instance except his paycheck. She didn't mention any money issues, so it doesn't sound like they needed his income to survive. So what are we really looking at here? It doesn't sound like job jealousy since she also sounds like she enjoys her job. Given her initial description of him when they met mentioned his status and wealth it really does sound like she equates masculinity with money and/or has some weird daddy issues. No amount of "renegotiation" of the marriage will be able to fix that.
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Dec 5, 2016 17:02
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GamingHyena posted:Given her initial description of him when they met mentioned his status and wealth it really does sound like she equates masculinity with money and/or has some weird daddy issues. I really hate armchair psychologizing like this but the way she initially described him made it sound very much like daddy issues: quote:He's seven years older than I am, and we met at work, where his power and seniority at the office was insanely attractive to me.
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Dec 5, 2016 17:23
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The guy sounds GWM. Doing a job he loves, only pays a small percentage of the expenses. If she divorces him for someone earning more, he doesn't stand to lose much because he didn't pay for any of it.
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Dec 5, 2016 17:28
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GamingHyena posted:Why should she feel resentment? He's working, and she takes great pains to point out what a good husband he is in every instance except his paycheck. She didn't mention any money issues, so it doesn't sound like they needed his income to survive. So what are we really looking at here? It doesn't sound like job jealousy since she also sounds like she enjoys her job. Given her initial description of him when they met mentioned his status and wealth it really does sound like she equates masculinity with money and/or has some weird daddy issues. No amount of "renegotiation" of the marriage will be able to fix that. I don't know that much about their situation, but if I felt my spouse was not contributing equally even though they were capable of doing so, it might bug me is all. Maybe they really don't need the money. It does sound wierd that they have separated finances when there is that much disparity in thier incomes, but why would she mention that she pays 90 percent of everything unless that bothered her? Edit: if he was at home with the kids or something I would say that would be different because it is a shitload of work for no pay and is a non-financial contribution. therobit fucked around with this message at 17:36 on Dec 5, 2016 |
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Dec 5, 2016 17:32
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It takes all kinds, but I'm not sure either individual is really bad with money. Kinky, maybe, but probably not bad with money.
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Dec 5, 2016 17:32
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Moneyball posted:The guy sounds GWM. Doing a job he loves, only pays a small percentage of the expenses. If she divorces him for someone earning more, he doesn't stand to lose much because he didn't pay for any of it. If she's the bread winner he could try to get alimony as well.
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Dec 5, 2016 17:33
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ate all the Oreos posted:I really hate armchair psychologizing like this but the way she initially described him made it sound very much like daddy issues: Just FYI the patriarchy constantly tells women from pretty much age 10 onwards that they should find powerful, commanding men who adhere to traditional expressions of masculinity attractive and that men who don't fit that macho ideal are unattractive wimps for whom they shouldn't "settle." I make 3x what my husband does and people ask me with great regularity whether a) that bothers him or b) whether it makes me see him as less of a man. My grandfather suggested I should lie and tell my husband I made less money than he does so that he wouldn't feel badly. These are usually the same people who enquire whether I'll let my husband "babysit" once the baby's born and who are shocked to discover he's planning to take six months' parental leave. It's not "daddy issues;" it's a ubiquitous cultural perception that women deal with all the drat time. Also, if you don't want to armchair psychologize you should probably take phrases like "daddy issues," which are useful ONLY for armchair psychology, out of your vocabulary.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:01
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Dogfish posted:Also, if you don't want to armchair psychologize you should probably take phrases like "daddy issues," which are useful ONLY for armchair psychology, out of your vocabulary. I am not trying to reinforce really deeply ingrained cultural gender stereotypes by suggesting that these peoples' lives or intimacy is wrong or bad by using the word "kinky" and I hope it didn't prompt any resentment on your part; I just mean that it clearly seems to be creating some unresolved psychosexual tension in the relationship in question. I also suggest taking every opportunity to rub in in a mans' face when they ask about your husband "babysitting" to correct them that, no, he will be PARENTING and it's a shame their children don't have such good fortune to be parented by two adults who understand the potential pitfalls of making assumptions about gender.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:04
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My response to "And will you let your husband babysit?" is always "No; I'll try to get out of the way of his parenting, though." It's also not just - or even mostly - men who ask me that. My response to "Don't you think it makes your husband feel like less of a man that you make more than he does?" is usually "I doubt it; his dick's enormous." Ask an inappropriate question, get an inappropriate answer. For the record, I don't see any evidence of financial domination or any other kind of unusual psychosexual configuration in that women's post; it reads to me, a financially successful woman, as a woman struggling with the conflict between gender-normative messages that all women are given for as long as we can remember, and the fact that the person she loves doesn't fit within that narrative. That's actually a pretty common experience for women in the normal course of things.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:10
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Dogfish posted:My response to "Don't you think it makes your husband feel like less of a man that you make more than he does?" is usually "I doubt it; his dick's enormous." Ask an inappropriate question, get an inappropriate answer. Yeah, those are stupid questions. If the answer was "Yes, absolutely. It torments him and it's a great source of strife and sadness in our marriage", would they really want to have that conversation?
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Dec 5, 2016 18:15
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Man, I'm so thankful I wasn't born a woman and therefore don't have to spend a ton of time thinking about this sort of stupid poo poo. Its a totally different life experience than I'm used to.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:16
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EAT FASTER!!!!!! posted:I am not trying to reinforce really deeply ingrained cultural gender stereotypes by suggesting that these peoples' lives or intimacy is wrong or bad by using the word "kinky" and I hope it didn't prompt any resentment on your part; I just mean that it clearly seems to be creating some unresolved psychosexual tension in the relationship in question. There are about a million causes of psychosexual tension, all of them more nuanced than shouting "daddy issues". The idea that, even if this was some kind of kink thing they get up to, it must be rooted in some damaged father-daughter relationship is pretty simplistic and frankly incorrect.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:18
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canyoneer posted:Yeah, those are stupid questions. If the answer was "Yes, absolutely. It torments him and it's a great source of strife and sadness in our marriage", would they really want to have that conversation? Questions like that are like "How are you?" in that they're designed to be read as statements, not questions. "How are you?" means "Hello," not "Give me an accurate assessment of how you are at this moment." What they're trying to do is suggest with a question-that's-not-a-question that I should make a change in my lifestyle to be a more appropriate kind of woman.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:19
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Oh boy, this thread is going in a neat direction. Language police have found us out. Here, fun wedding BWM: Dropped $4,500 on friend's wedding to settle the open bar tab, only to find out the bride's parents are in a payment dispute with the venue. posted:Long story short, I attended a wedding of some close friends and stayed back at the venue after most left to help clean up. I was the last to leave and got stopped on the way out by the venue staff wondering where the bride is so they can settle the tab. He wanted to call her and have her come back to figure it out. I told him not to worry about it, don't bother her, whatever it is I'll take care of it and figure it out with them later in terms of paying me back. Turned out to be $4,500 of various costs, which I had them split on two of my credit cards. Once settling that, I took copies of receipts and took pictures of them with my signatures on them. https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5ghdpl/dropped_4500_on_friends_wedding_to_settle_the/
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Dec 5, 2016 18:19
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