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just uninstalled sfb, the exchange account, and slack from my phone. a new life is here, and i do hope to never have another online meeting. i will keep following the thread to remember why
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Dec 6, 2016 23:11
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Iridium posted:this thread represents the core of everything yospos is.
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Dec 6, 2016 23:58
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Cybernetic Vermin posted:just uninstalled sfb, the exchange account, and slack from my phone. a new life is here, and i do hope to never have another online meeting. i will keep following the thread to remember why May the gods preserve you, fellow traveler
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Dec 6, 2016 23:59
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maniacdevnull posted:May the gods preserve you, fellow traveler
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Dec 7, 2016 00:52
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maniacdevnull posted:May the gods preserve you, fellow traveler
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Dec 7, 2016 01:32
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I set up a room on appear.in for a standup meeting this week. Had remote attendees but also a bunch in the room with me. Hooked my laptop into a big screen to share some slides, but the connection for some reason disabled my microphone. No one joining by stream could hear me talk. But I still needed to use the big screen, couldn't just disconnect. Cue 10 minutes of futile troubleshooting and looking like a dummy in front of my manager and MD. Not a super serious meeting but I still felt bad for failing at a vid conf method that is supposed to be seamless and foolproof. It's me, I'm the fool. Last week I was also the "forgot to mute myself while opening electronics in a blister package" guy.
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Dec 7, 2016 03:21
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Cat Face Joe posted:lol this happens all the time lol but also lunch which I have scheduled already for lunch
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Dec 7, 2016 03:41
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'out of office? perfect!' -everyone sending me meeting invites
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Dec 7, 2016 03:42
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Glans Dillzig posted:meeting invite forwarded to you so you don't get the cancellation notice/room change/time change ah... old friend
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Dec 7, 2016 04:21
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minivanmegafun posted:it's me, the person playing with their cat on camera and not paying attention to this meeting I do this and never regret it
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Dec 7, 2016 04:26
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I should set up an out of office message that starts every Friday evening to Monday morning
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Dec 7, 2016 05:07
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lol
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Dec 7, 2016 05:08
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Rex-Goliath posted:I should set up an out of office message that starts every Friday evening to Monday morning lol if you think that works
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Dec 7, 2016 05:09
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sorry, this started as a lol anecdote and turned into a story. but fuckit. our current huge project, the one that we'd been asked to work on in the office this weekend, the one that was recently moved to "AT RISK", the one that's cranked my alcoholism to 11 lately and had me ideating suicide basically hourly for the past couple of weeks... has been pushed off a couple of days, we've been very heavily dependent one our team that handles the identity management poo poo the whole buildout. my boss, basically weekly in our stupid mandatory one on one session, always asks if I see any looming concerns and every single time i point out that if the IDM poo poo isn't in perfect working order, we're sunk while they right their ship. last weekend those guys were taking a huge step in migrating a very very critical app from the old IDM platform to the new. as in, the app that hosts people's paycheck info: to most employees, the #1 by a mile most important thing we do. we've had a project every year since 2010 to replace the old app, only to have it pushed back. the old has been out of support since ~2009, and in fact the company that created it is no longer in business. they've gotten the new platform largely stood up and are slowly migrating applications to it. i hate the old app. i used to support it, in part, in operations. years of problems, and sketchy projects to try to fix it, and management pushing off the replacement went from being a constant pain in the rear end to what is effectively an outright insult in the face of the years i've been warning people of the coming apocalypse this is causing. and yet, because the new app keeps being a struggle for that team to put together correctly, dipshit project managers wheel and deal and keep relenting at the last minute and let their apps be built out on the old app solely so that they can meet their dates, which is just a direct add to our deep, deep technical debt. now, granted, i don't support it anymore. the projects i work on are dependent on those guys obvs, but really there's no skin off my back. but that insult factor gets to me, and i try to do what i can to make life less poo poo for the operations guys that do have to gently caress with it weekly. that migration last weekend broke everything. and had to be backed out to the old platform. we can't move forward until they decide how to fix it, and we may be launching a huge new project on that old platform. the new platform is oracle. gently caress oracle.
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Dec 7, 2016 14:07
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Iridium posted:sorry, this started as a lol anecdote and turned into a story. but fuckit. this is some Sophie's choice poo poo
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Dec 7, 2016 14:25
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uncurable mlady posted:this is some Sophie's choice poo poo you know that scene in fight club with the plane crash poo poo? where jack's just kind of calmly looking around at the open section of the fuselage as they all plummet as if this was a totally normal, daily occurrence? that's me, here.
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Dec 7, 2016 14:29
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quit
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Dec 7, 2016 15:48
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FrozenVent posted:lol if you think that works
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Dec 7, 2016 23:01
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i know you scheduled this training for three hours and paid for trainers to come in but i didn't think you really needed the whole time, can we wrap this up in an hour so i don't miss my flight? oh wow you had this catered and brought your whole team in? i won't be eating obviously, i have a plane to catch!
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Dec 7, 2016 23:46
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the webex part is me opening the anonymous standing webex for primal screaming
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Dec 7, 2016 23:46
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Iridium posted:sorry, this started as a lol anecdote and turned into a story. but fuckit. Bloody posted:quit please do not kill you are self, forums poster Iridium
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Dec 8, 2016 00:22
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Captain Foo posted:please do not kill you are self, forums poster Iridium yeah, nobody wants that. did get a new av tho.
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Dec 8, 2016 00:26
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Iridium posted:yeah, nobody wants that. the av is good
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Dec 8, 2016 00:32
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Captain Foo posted:the av is good
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Dec 8, 2016 00:35
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Iridium posted:yeah, nobody wants that. Iridium is good people, hope you find non poo poo people to work with
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Dec 8, 2016 01:06
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Captain Foo posted:the av is good
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Dec 8, 2016 01:54
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it's me, I'm the guy muting and unmuting a conference call on headset in one language in between bouts of arguing with people at my desk in another for a solid three hours
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Dec 8, 2016 02:19
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right in the middle of this conference call i suddenly realized how similar the melody of twinkle twinkle little star is to the alphabet song. that might be the furthest my mind has ever wandered from the topic of a conversation
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Dec 8, 2016 03:18
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DaTroof posted:how similar the melody of twinkle twinkle little star is to the alphabet song 
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Dec 8, 2016 03:41
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Black hole sun and while my guitar gently weeps sound pretty similiar too. The westworld version of black hole sun,. that is
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Dec 8, 2016 03:43
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also you can sing amazing grace to the tune of gillgian's island theme song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tMDJCaNOYY
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Dec 8, 2016 03:44
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DaTroof posted:right in the middle of this conference call i suddenly realized how similar the melody of twinkle twinkle little star is to the alphabet song. that might be the furthest my mind has ever wandered from the topic of a conversation how did you not realize this in elementary school?
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Dec 8, 2016 05:11
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theyre not just similar they are literally the same melody. also baa baa black sheep. all of them are just lyrics on a melody by mozart.
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Dec 8, 2016 05:19
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FrozenVent posted:also you can sing amazing grace to the tune of gillgian's island theme song
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Dec 8, 2016 05:27
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Rex-Goliath posted:how did you not realize this in elementary school? idk, maybe i did and forgot. it's not like i've sung either one since i was ten
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Dec 8, 2016 05:37
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ahhh memories: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g4dkBF5anU * chat window * : hey, I dialed in but I'm not the owner and the admin is out, did anyone else setup a call for this meeting? I was an auditor for years so here's some webex stories (sorry this got long but it was super cathartic for me so gently caress you): 1) The board meetings had a call in number for meeting minute takers and board member assistants to listen in on. In the 5-6 years they had the system they never changed the 5 digit 'passcode' they used for the meeting. It was always the same. So the meetings wouldn't get interrupted the 'boop-beep' noise was muted and all calling in lines were muted. They still don't know how many people were listening in on the quarterly calls when they changes systems but some admins were pissed when they switched to webex and it randomized the meeting id. Not because it made their lives harder but because they couldn't snoop in on the calls for their bosses. 2) Hi - beep-boop - one we'll - beep-boop - arted aft - beep-boop - ll people joi - beep-boop - the meet - beep-boop - beep-boop - beep-boop. Ok That should be ev - beep-boop - one, haha looks like - beep-boop - beep-boop - beep-boop - does anyone know how to mute the - beep-boop. 3) <someone talking some boring poo poo> Loud FLUSH "could everyone please mute their lines" 4) We discovered that a server, managed by IBM, had been '# chmod 777 -R /'ed. The entire system was 777. So we got them on a call, one of those ones where it says peoples name when they join and drop. So we had us (the auditors) the people from the company and IBM on the call. We start walking them through the finding, hear someone say 'are you loving kidding me, who loving-' "John Smith, IBM has left the call" 5) 'Any questions" * 10 minutes of silence 6) Someone, loudly chewing ice right in to their phone 7) In 2014 a new CIO came in. To seem hip and with it he bought like $300,000 worth of these stupid things:  Why? Probably cause he saw it on Big Bang Theory. Anyway, the only people who were allowed to use them were executives and they hired 3 people to escort the stupid robots around the office (cause the wifi sucked it was impossible to control yourself). In the first few months some execs were using them from their office for fun. Eventually only the CIO used them when he was out of town but literally no one else used them. I had a meeting with one, the sound kept cutting out and and some point it just turned around in circles until the attendant stopped it. The exec using it just left the stupid robot and dialed in to the webex. 8) HR once booked a meeting with those visible meeting room screens, this one showed the titles for some reason. The title had the word 'Layoffs' in it and someone saw it as they were checking the room for availability. HR then had to send a letter saying there were no layoffs, then a few months latter laid off the finance department cause they were moving them to Iowa (the dept, not the people). 9) The company once spent millions on making their own internal facebook (not sears) and made everyone make an account and had it in our annual goals that we had to check it at least once a week and post X comments/posts a month. I quit about a month after the implemented it but I don't think it lasted very long 10) A different company implemented a 'ask us anything anonymously + upvote' site for people to ask questions (anonymously) and have them get voted up by other people. Despite the company planning layoffs and other poo poo the top rated questions were always 'When are we getting the free soda program back' 'why cant we have better food in the cafeteria'. Though one time a buddy of mine posted 'How come you keep hiring idiots, the two adjoining cubes to mine are literal idiots' which got a bunch of upvotes in the company. They actually pulled logs to see which workstation posted it and he got a talking to from HR. 11) The company decided to give free soda to everyone. But you could only get three in a day, so they gave everyone free cards for their free soda. Everyone started hoarding soda in their cubes cause 'if they only give me three I'm going to get my three'. So they eventually stopped the 'three a day' and went unlimited, which caused people to go crazy and grab 5-6 at a time to carry. The machines would be filled in the morning (like 4 per floor) and be empty by 10am. The program was cancelled shortly thereafter. Leading to all the hoarders being smug assholes for a bit while they dranks their room temperature diet coke. 12) <email to 20,000 people> "<reply-all> Please take me off this list" "<reply-all> Yes, me too" "<reply-all> who was this for?" * Exchange goes offline for 30 hours * Also, the best example of devops is 'remember when you were learning PHP and installed LAMP and built a lovely PHP site. You were doing devops.'
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Dec 8, 2016 07:55
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:8) HR once booked a meeting with those visible meeting room screens, this one showed the titles for some reason. The title had the word 'Layoffs' in it and someone saw it as they were checking the room for availability. HR then had to send a letter saying there were no layoffs, then a few months latter laid off the finance department cause they were moving them to Iowa (the dept, not the people). lomarf
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Dec 8, 2016 08:29
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:12) <email to 20,000 people> "<reply-all> Please take me off this list" "<reply-all> Yes, me too" "<reply-all> who was this for?" * Exchange goes offline for 30 hours * this one happened to us earlier this year. it department sent out a company wide email saying "please stop hitting reply all to this email!!" but exchange went down anyway
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Dec 8, 2016 08:31
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:
we used yammer for a while. what a lovely, purposeless product. it was clearly our execs giving someone a kickback
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Dec 8, 2016 13:59
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Phobeste posted:we used yammer for a while. what a lovely, purposeless product. it was clearly our execs giving someone a kickback we used yammer for a while because microsoft was desperate to push it and threw it in with our general licensing. it was universally hated, almost completely unused (for unclear reasons the financials people loving loved it), and eventually replaced with Jive. jive is getting slightly more activity because the communications people are sort of forcing people to go there for certain updates on this or that. not a lot of interaction though.
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Dec 8, 2016 14:15
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