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"everyone please mute your phones" *beep-BOOP* *beep-BOOP* *beep-BOOP* *beep-BOOP* *beep-BOOP* "ok now I'm going to do a roll call. Tom Shitfucker? Tom? TOM ARE YOU HERE"
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Dec 8, 2016 14:16
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:ahhh memories:
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Dec 8, 2016 14:18
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:11) The company decided to give free soda to everyone. But you could only get three in a day, so they gave everyone free cards for their free soda. Everyone started hoarding soda in their cubes cause 'if they only give me three I'm going to get my three'. So they eventually stopped the 'three a day' and went unlimited, which caused people to go crazy and grab 5-6 at a time to carry. The machines would be filled in the morning (like 4 per floor) and be empty by 10am. The program was cancelled shortly thereafter. Leading to all the hoarders being smug assholes for a bit while they dranks their room temperature diet coke. ive never heard of this being successful at any company but also who the gently caress drinks three sodas a day
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Dec 8, 2016 16:36
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Cat Face Joe posted:ive never heard of this being successful at any company but also who the gently caress drinks three sodas a day I'm gonna make up my pay deficit in soda consumption KoRMaK fucked around with this message at 16:47 on Dec 8, 2016 |
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Dec 8, 2016 16:37
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Cat Face Joe posted:ive never heard of this being successful at any company but also who the gently caress drinks three sodas a day depends on the soda i could put away a six pack of sparkling water or probably la croix in a day no sweat 
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Dec 8, 2016 16:44
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Cat Face Joe posted:ive never heard of this being successful at any company but also who the gently caress drinks three sodas a day we have free cans of soda in the fridge in the break room and it seems to work ok? about 350 people in the office combine to drink probably 50 cans or so per day total. if they started rationing and giving tickets i imagine people would end up drinking more
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Dec 8, 2016 16:46
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when i do go to the office the real tragedy of the commons isn't the full cans of la croix, it's the limited recycle bucket space for empties and nobody crushes cans or knows where to empty the thing
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Dec 8, 2016 16:52
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Cocoa Crispies posted:when i do go to the office the real tragedy of the commons isn't the full cans of la croix, it's the limited recycle bucket space for empties and nobody crushes cans or knows where to empty the thing *loudly stomps on can in the middle of the office, partially-crushed can flies onto someone's desk*
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Dec 8, 2016 16:59
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someone at one of our divisions, someone i've worked with a lot before, sent a couple of questions out to an email chain that a PM had started. naturally, this turned into a small clusterfuck as a few people started answering her, or asking me for the answer and then translating it badly into email. after a bit, she gave up and called me and we hashed it out quickly and easily. afterwards she was kind enough to do an email back to the whole group (including PMs, managers, directors, etc) saying "Nevermind, I got what I needed. I should have called <Iridium> directly in the first place." and i'm all 
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Dec 8, 2016 17:13
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Cat Face Joe posted:ive never heard of this being successful at any company but also who the gently caress drinks three sodas a day one company i worked for had a free dr pepper machine and it was used responsibly
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Dec 8, 2016 20:08
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was it just dr pepper themed or you could literally only purchase dr pepper from it
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Dec 8, 2016 20:14
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Mad Wack posted:one company i worked for had a free dr pepper machine and it was used responsibly yeah we have free soda fountains for the IT department, mostly as a vehicle for getting diet mountain dew to the development team.
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Dec 8, 2016 20:21
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Companies that do not offer free caffeine do not deserve anyone itf as employees
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Dec 8, 2016 20:24
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lolin at the thought of working with so many manchildren that free soda is mandatory
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Dec 8, 2016 20:38
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keyboard vomit posted:lolin at the thought of working with so many manchildren that free soda is mandatory the devs dont make it mandatory, the need to keep them going through late hours makes it a worthwhile business expense. i typed this half in jest, but...
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Dec 8, 2016 21:00
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people get really surly when you take away free coffee
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Dec 8, 2016 21:05
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maniacdevnull posted:Companies that do not offer free caffeine do not deserve anyone itf as employees i found out what the total spend on just beans for one calendar year was for my work office which at the time had 850-1000 people in it. take a guess.
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Dec 8, 2016 21:06
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A lot I bet Then you consider where that coffee came from and if it's fair trade or not 
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Dec 8, 2016 21:07
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Fuzzy Mammal posted:i found out what the total spend on just beans for one calendar year was for my work office which at the time had 850-1000 people in it. take a guess. thinkin bout those beans
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Dec 8, 2016 21:15
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Syncopated posted:thinkin bout those beans i mean all the time, morning, day, night, afternoon, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans, beans.
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Dec 8, 2016 21:18
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power botton posted:was it just dr pepper themed or you could literally only purchase dr pepper from it it was only dr pepper, a dr pepper machine, and every button was dr pepper - totally free cans of dr pepper, no diet poo poo either, just the pep
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Dec 8, 2016 21:20
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power botton posted:was it just dr pepper themed or you could literally only purchase dr pepper from it did you work for dr pepper
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Dec 8, 2016 21:22
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Iridium posted:someone at one of our divisions, someone i've worked with a lot before, sent a couple of questions out to an email chain that a PM had started. have you ever questioned the nature of your reality?
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Dec 8, 2016 21:22
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ArmZ posted:have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? I... no.
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Dec 8, 2016 21:26
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Endless Mike posted:did you work for dr pepper nah man they were just some FIENDS for the pep, it was insane
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Dec 8, 2016 21:38
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thinkin bout those peps
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Dec 8, 2016 21:42
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KoRMaK posted:Black hole sun and while my guitar gently weeps sound pretty similiar too. The westworld version of black hole sun,. that is i would gladly make both my phone ringtone for my desk and skype for business for office while my tp gently beeps KoRMaK posted:This reminds me of a weird bug that I had on a webex - me and the client logged in at exactly the same time I guess and instead of recognizing us as two different people it merged us into one (under his name) but gave his client all the admin permissions of the call and treated me as a normal viewer. So I couldn't do poo poo to control the meeting. We both had to leave and come back ciscos noted voyager episode tuvixs Fuzzy Mammal posted:i found out what the total spend on just beans for one calendar year was for my work office which at the time had 850-1000 people in it. take a guess. T H O S E NT BE OU AN C S
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Dec 8, 2016 21:43
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i look at you all see the VP thats sleeping while my tp gently beeps i look at the screens and i see they need tweaking while my tp gently beeps
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Dec 8, 2016 21:45
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Agile Vector posted:i look at you all
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Dec 8, 2016 21:51
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today i was interviewing a guy with tourettes (like a physical facial tick) and my boss had accidentally pointed the webcam at his crotch and forgotten about it. i just couldn't stop laughing at the crotch shot and i hope tourettes dude didn't think i was laughing at his tourettes.
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Dec 8, 2016 22:41
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Yeah it was $300k on the dot. Raising the productivity of basically the entire office for the cost of one employee. Not a bad deal imo.
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Dec 8, 2016 23:35
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we have one of those beam things except it's mostly used to gently caress with people in our office and it's little more than an ipad on a stand with some wheels
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Dec 8, 2016 23:42
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so basically only the same thing in principle
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Dec 8, 2016 23:47
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We're such cheap fucks we charge for the poo poo in office coffee. want the bean water? fifty cents. pay up
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Dec 9, 2016 00:15
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Bloody posted:We're such cheap fucks we charge for the poo poo in office coffee. want the bean water? fifty cents. pay up time to just drink tea
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Dec 9, 2016 00:20
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the water fountain is free what more do you need?
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Dec 9, 2016 00:20
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Bloody posted:We're such cheap fucks we charge for the poo poo in office coffee. want the bean water? fifty cents. pay up my first company had some offices with honesty jars for the coffee and some with free coffee due to acquisitions over the years it was pretty lol
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Dec 9, 2016 01:05
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all office poo poo is dumb expensive
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Dec 9, 2016 02:30
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uncurable mlady posted:all office poo poo is dumb expensive someone call radium, the signature showed up but the post content must have vanished...
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Dec 9, 2016 03:45
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maniacdevnull posted:someone call radium, the signature showed up but the post content must have vanished... he's been purgatorybanned
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Dec 9, 2016 03:57
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