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Spermy Smurf posted:I'm running Bad Munki's fight now.  Spermy Smurf posted:Bad Munki's Team is on the left side of the arena.  Spermy Smurf posted:the handsome Spermy Smurf 
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Dec 9, 2016 16:54
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| # ? May 28, 2024 11:33 |
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I R SMART LIKE ROCK posted:I like the cut of your jib. Let' s get this show on the road. Everyone pick our team for betting and enjoy the show gentlemen!
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Dec 9, 2016 16:57
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Bad Munki's Team's team code is BAD  Spermy Smurf_BAD Keith Vaz_BAD 2016_BAD
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Dec 9, 2016 17:03
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fallingdownjoe posted:YESSSSSS! Looks like we face another snakemane in the next round as well, so there is the chance to repeat that amazing feat. Also a chance for me to repeat stabbing a dude then getting paralyzed. Thought at least I managed what I imagine to be a sick, slo-mo dodge after getting bitten but before getting paralyzed.
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Dec 9, 2016 17:48
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Who will run the fights now? 
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Dec 9, 2016 18:20
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Tunicate posted:Who will run the fights now? Vox lied, Spermy died
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Dec 9, 2016 18:36
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Bah. Snakemen. Someone turn that freak into a nice pair of boots, please.
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Dec 10, 2016 00:42
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Bad Munki posted:Vox lied, Spermy died Are we going to have to go to extreme measures to get this rolling again?  Arise Spermy! (Or ZeeToo, that's fine too)
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Dec 10, 2016 00:47
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Krunge posted:Bad Munki's Team's team code is BAD
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Dec 10, 2016 06:00
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Moleboy posted:Arise Spermy! (Or ZeeToo, that's fine too) Sorry, been mostly tied up at work lately. We've got bedbugs and I get to babysit exterminators!
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Dec 10, 2016 06:10
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Just burn the house down and move on with life.
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Dec 10, 2016 15:24
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goatface posted:Just burn the house down and move on with life. And all your belongings, can't forget to burn those.
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Dec 10, 2016 16:02
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ZeeToo posted:Sorry, been mostly tied up at work lately. goatface posted:Just burn the house down and move on with life. Goatface makes a good point about priorities and I think this is a teachable moment. If something is keeping you from investing more time in DF Arena, set it on fire and walk away from it.
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Dec 10, 2016 18:16
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Shitposting with Bad Munki takes my time from running fights....
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Dec 10, 2016 20:10
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Krunge posted:And all your belongings, can't forget to burn those. I would assume nothing less. Probably safer to let the exterminators gas the place and then seal them inside the conflagration so they can't carry anything out with them.
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Dec 10, 2016 20:22
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Spermy Smurf posted:Shitposting with Bad Munki takes my time from running fights.... ...just burn him down and move on with life?
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Dec 10, 2016 20:59
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We voted for blood now. Where is it?
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Dec 11, 2016 22:44
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Splode posted:We voted for blood now. Where is it? The blood was inside you all along.
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Dec 11, 2016 22:52
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Its the weekend. Nothing from me and Senor BedBug is dealing with his namesake. I dont know how to do the thingy above the n on my phone.
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Dec 11, 2016 23:14
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Since when do commissioners get time off? We need to renegotiate those contracts.
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Dec 11, 2016 23:17
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Negotiations fell through, that's why we have these lovely replacement refs in the first place.
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Dec 11, 2016 23:25
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 You guys throwin flags back?
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Dec 11, 2016 23:49
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 Round 1, Fight 1  Bizarrest Overthinkers is on the left side of the arena. Neck Size Optimiser (AJ_Impy) is a female strangler. She is empty handed and wears no armor. GRAARG! (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears no armor. Polyctena the Survivor (Maigius) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields a copper spear and a copper shield and wears a copper helm, two copper mail shirts, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Bizarrer Adventurers is on the right side of the arena. DickSpear (Spermy Smurf) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears an iron cap, leather leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Snakes Laugh At The Human 1/2 (Tunicate) is a female serpent man. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm and an adamantine mail shirt. BEHOLD! a beehole? (Anchors) is a female goblin. She wields a silver war hammer and wears an adamantine helm.  Bizarrer Adventurers is a 1.64 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3350.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2046.00 dwarfbucks for Bizarrest Overthinkers. It's a truly bizarre match we've got for you tonight, folks. Also, as it turns out, gently caress you all for these  DickSpear is the fastest fighter. He plants his axe in Neck's torso, and ribs turn to chunky salsa. Poly stabs beehole through the thigh, and GRAARG gets handsy with her. beehole immediately flops over and gives up. Neck bites DickSpear in the arm and latches on. He brushes her off, because she's a bitey little nuisance and not much of an actual fighter at all.  Snakes finally gets there. Poly stabs her, in a glancing arm blow. GRAARG finally puts his knife to work, mincing beehole's organs. Neck defies my expectations. She unhinges her jaw and wraps it around the huge werewolf's upper torso and bites so hard DickSpear's heart almost gives out. God, I haven't seen a mouth work like that outside of vore art.  It's not looking good for the one bizarre team. The bizarre team seems to be at least matching them on 1-1 duels, as GRAARG keeps hacking the fallen goblin and Poly's copper deflects the snake's fangs. Neck bites DickSpear's body again, and the werewolf collapses in pain.  I can't believe what I'm seeing. Snakes then turns and bites Neck, paralyzing the strangler and making her pass out, depriving her of a stunningly unexpected kill.For a little while, the three upright fighters just sort of smack around the incapacitated ones. beehole has had her right lung perforated about a dozen times, but somehow she keeps breathing. Finally, after another stab from Poly, the goblin dies. That frees up Poly and GRAARG to go beat up on Snakes, who's sort of casually shaking around Neck with what looks from here like a sort of glassy look on her face.  GRAARG lops off a hand. Poly stabs the other one. But Snakes could win this yet! She takes a mouthful of yeti, and venom courses through GRAARG. Numb fingers slip from his hilt, and he collapses with a sound like an avalanche. Both teams are down to one effective. Snakes whips her head around, and the poor yeti's limb is starting to look like what he did to beehole. Poly performs a few stabs of varying effectiveness, but none are crippling. On the other hand, she has that copper armor, and that seems to be...  ...never mind. The end is a long, horrible time coming. Snakes plays with her paralyzed prey like a cat. Poly gamely keeps trying, whenever she's not paralyzed. Her only attack is a feeble swing that looks more like a push, but she at least splits the serpent's lips. In return, her arms are savagely removed, piecemeal, and sometimes Snakes instead bites at Neck, injecting fresh venom and shaking him around like a chew toy. Eventually, too much ichor oozes out. Polyctena the Survivor is the first of her team to die.  Neck suffers. Eventually, DickSpear recovers enough to see what is going on, and, horrified beyond words, delivers a mercy axe to Neck. A clean end, at the least. But something else has happened.  GRAARG is back in the game. He's lost his weapon, but he's at least fighting fit. Snakes bites him again and so much for that comeback. DickSpear splits his head like firewood. Bizarrer Adventurers wins a 3-1! Kills DickSpear: 2 Snakes Laugh At The Human 1/2: 1 Polyctena the Survivor: 1 As a special bonus present, our winning team gets bedbugs! This non-rejectable prize is your trophy for sadism.The losing team is not forgotten! They will be given the same prize, in consolation for all them them going from dominating to useless because of one single snake. This special gift is also shared with the audience at home! Whether you joined us live or are viewing this at some remove, you get bedbugs, too! Bedbugs for everyone! Combat Log
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Dec 12, 2016 03:27
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That is exactly how we planned it.
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Dec 12, 2016 03:33
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Spermy Smurf posted:That is exactly how we planned it. Spermy Smurf is confirmed to secretly be a master tactician. 
Anchors fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Dec 12, 2016 |
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Dec 12, 2016 03:38
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Fuckin told you.
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Dec 12, 2016 03:43
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My condolences ZeeToo. I had bedbugs for about a month earlier this year before they got killed off for good. poo poo sucks soooo hard.
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Dec 12, 2016 03:51
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Curses, outbitten. Ah well, at least she got to KO a werewolf solely using her teeth.
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Dec 12, 2016 03:53
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Trying to manually eradicate them seems a nuisance. Maybe introduce natural predators?quote:Natural enemies of bed bugs include the masked hunter insect (also known as "masked bed bug hunter"), cockroaches, ants, spiders (particularly Thanatus flavidus), mites, and centipedes (particularly the house centipede Scutigera coleoptrata). hmm.
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Dec 12, 2016 03:54
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Spiders are cool. And useful. And not intrusive.
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Dec 12, 2016 03:56
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The bedbugs are at work, not at home.  I don't have quite enough clout to suggest my work introduce cockroaches as a solution.
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Dec 12, 2016 04:00
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Spermy Smurf posted:Fuckin told you.  Our strategy is invincible! No weaknesses!
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Dec 12, 2016 04:06
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What is a snake? A miserable little pile of venom!
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Dec 12, 2016 04:53
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Round 1, Fight 5 Spermy is a really bad commissioner is on the left side of the arena. Yer Tie (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a copper helm and leather leggings. SECRETLY MADE ONLY OF SPIDERS (ZeeToo) is a male minotaur. He wields a copper spear and a wooden shield and wears no armor. Pierre Tanoy the Tree Cutter (Fermata) is a male elf. He wields a copper pick and a copper shield and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, silver gauntlets, and leather high boots. Hitmen for Armok is on the right side of the arena. CID STEELFORGE (dmboogie) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and wears an iron helm, iron leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. I Bite You! (Fuubi) is a female serpent man. She is empty handed and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, an iron breast plate, and iron gauntlets. Audrey Gravescreams (Ramc) is a female human. She wields an iron long sword and wears leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots.  Spermy is a really bad commissioner is a 2.04 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 2246.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1100.00 dwarfbucks for Hitmen for Armok.   The fighters charge. Audrey Gravescreams is incredibly fast, leaving her teammates in the dust.  Pierre Tanoy, the elf, swings his pick and tears Audrey's calf to shreds. Audrey falls over with a scream and her return strike is caught on the same pick in her leg.  CID STEELFORGE arrives to save his teammate and gets picked by Pierre as well. Chest muscles are torn, blood flies.  SPIDERS swings at the downed Audrey and thats when Bite You arrives. The snakeman catches the fist in his mouth and injects venom. SPIDERS the minotaur goes down, paralyzed, but on his way to the floor manages to stick his spear into Bite You's tail where it remains to this day.  Audrey slashes SPIDERS left leg off at the knee while Bite You shakes vigorously. CID STEELFORGE dodges a punch from the yeti Yer Tie and then darts back in with his spear and punctures the yeti's chest, tearing the heart muscle. Arteries are torn (clearly, it's the drat heart) and Yer Tie is in pain. Pierre tries to free SPIDERS from Bite You's grip, but his pick is deflected by armor. Audrey, from the ground, hamstrings the giant yeti and Yer Tie falls to the floor unconscious.  Pierre darts forward to fight once again but manages to draw Bite You's attention. The snakeman punctures the leather boot and injects venom into the elf. SPIDERS has overcome his venom, but he's been shaken and torn so much that he just closes his eyes and prays for death.  Audrey's sword strikes Yer Tie again and he finally bleeds out from his chopped up heart.  Audrey changes her target to the downed minotaur and splits his head in two.  But whats this? Pierre has shaken off his paralysis, stood up, gathered his weapon, and dodged out of range for a moment. This fight isn't over yet!  Okay now it's over. Another dose of venom and a painful bite from Bite You was all it took.  CID STEELFORGE gets the kill with a spear to the head. Hitmen for Armok win with a 3-0 victory that started out kind of rocky. Kills: Audrey Gravescreams: 2 CID STEELFORGE: 1 Combat Log 
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Dec 12, 2016 14:44
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On another note I figured out how to edit the gifs that turn green in GIMP so I can stop that from happening.
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Dec 12, 2016 |
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Dec 12, 2016 14:47
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Hmmm, the first 3-0 victory and it's against team Spermy is a really bad commissioner! I'm sure it's nothing.
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Dec 12, 2016 15:06
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Well, that was shockingly expected.
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Dec 12, 2016 16:52
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Krunge posted:Hmmm, the first 3-0 victory and it's against team Spermy is a really bad commissioner! Also, the match against us with Spermy as a Well Endowed Gladiator, it was nearly 3 - 0 except for a freak paralysis headshot (Which was awesome). Coincidence? 
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Dec 12, 2016 18:54
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Who would have thought Pierre would actually have done something useful? If only I had given him a stronger pick.
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Dec 12, 2016 19:04
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| # ? May 28, 2024 11:33 |
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Moleboy posted:Also, the match against us with Spermy as a Well Endowed Gladiator, it was nearly 3 - 0 except for a freak paralysis headshot (Which was awesome). "Serpents laugh at the human 1/2" isn't just a name. Removing both arms to go 100% serpent mid-combat DRAMATICALLY increased her power level.
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Dec 12, 2016 19:13
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