Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Agoraphobia can be treated if you're willing to work on it. It's hard work and takes time, but it can be done.

# ? Dec 11, 2016 22:44

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# ? May 10, 2024 00:25

Warm und Fuzzy: Jun 20, 2006

After everything your parents have done for you it's only natural you'd want to wingman them.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 00:14

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

"Poz my neg hole" is the best mantra, imo

# ? Dec 12, 2016 00:22

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Hope you guys are ready for more piss

quote:

I recently bought a new truck. 2013, but new to me anyhow. And after paying for the truck (plus like seven pages of paperwork? What ever happened to just buying a vehicle?), I made for the dealership restroom and proceeded to flood the floor with piss. On purpose. I don't know why I did it except that it seemed really funny at the time. It's been a few months since and I still feel guilty.

also armchair psychology experiments

quote:

I have strange dreams and I never document them because I can recall them vividly from memory and don't want them on paper anywhere in case someone finds the record.
The most disturbing one I ever woke up to went something like this:
A man is doing an Anthony Sullivan-esque presentation with a large dog; Rotweiller, something real mean and easily 100 lbs but he has it calm and subdued, lying on a tabletop. The man explains something to the camera and then strokes the dog a few times; the dog is visibly excited and wags his tail; pants a bit. The man then proceed to physically punch the dog in the ribs once whenever the dog exhibits this reaction to the pleasuring. He repeats this several times until the dog is visibly afraid whenever the man begins to stroke it; shaking in fear.
I really did not know what the gently caress when I woke up.

^^^ this person forgot to use guerrillamail and their gmail has what appears to be their real name on it; I will carry the secret of the dog dream to my grave

# ? Dec 12, 2016 00:54

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

That person probably jerks off big dogs and feels ashamed of himself.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 01:02

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

there is no meaning behind dreams so don't worry you are not a morally inept psychopath just yet

# ? Dec 12, 2016 01:35

free basket of chips: Sep 7, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

i have recurring nightmares where my teeth fall out

# ? Dec 12, 2016 01:37

guns for tits: Dec 25, 2014

I got shot in a dream once. It was pretty creepy, I guess.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 02:10

CPA Hell: Apr 15, 2007; I like to press the number six!

free basket of chips posted:

i have recurring nightmares where my teeth fall out

I used to have that one frequently, like at least monthly. Now I have it less than once a year. I think sometimes I was actually grinding my teeth hard while having the dream.

I've heard it's caused by keeping big secrets. I think that's a very believable explanation.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 02:21

Cnut the Great: Mar 30, 2014

CPA Hell posted:

I used to have that one frequently, like at least monthly. Now I have it less than once a year. I think sometimes I was actually grinding my teeth hard while having the dream.

I've heard it's caused by keeping big secrets. I think that's a very believable explanation.

I have those all the time and I don't think I'm keeping any big secrets. I feel like it's more a "fear of aging and death" thing.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 03:37

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

free basket of chips posted:

i have recurring nightmares where my teeth fall out

same and I'm happy when I wake up and realize all my teeth are still there, that's a hosed up dream

# ? Dec 12, 2016 04:30

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

I started to dream again after I stopped regularly smoking weed.

Not advocating this, just saying.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 06:25

Pit of Despair: Feb 1, 2008; One mother held her baby's face to the floor and chewed off his feet and fingers.

free basket of chips posted:

i have recurring nightmares where my teeth fall out

Used to have these all the time. Then I got into a car wreck and my front teeth got knocked out. Haven't had one since.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 06:32

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

free basket of chips posted:

i have recurring nightmares where my teeth fall out

This is an extremely common dream for some reason.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 07:05

Marijuana Nihilist: Aug 27, 2015; by Smythe

H.H posted:

I started to dream again after I stopped regularly smoking weed.

Not advocating this, just saying.

it's a good feeling, that period of intensely vivid dreams you get during a tolerance break

# ? Dec 12, 2016 07:19

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

It is, makes you feel like you regain a fuller cognitive day-to-day experience.

Also, great username+post combo.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 07:37

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

I legit had a "showed up to school naked" dream

edit: also "several exam I haven't studied for" dreams

# ? Dec 12, 2016 07:43

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

loquacius posted:

I'm also a huge dork that will fall madly in love with the first woman that will touch my genitals

Is there some German word that means this? Seems like there should be

# ? Dec 12, 2016 07:46

PantsOptional: Dec 27, 2012; All I wanna do is make you bounce

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Is there some German word that means this? Seems like there should be

"Der Goon"

# ? Dec 12, 2016 09:24

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Is there some German word that means this? Seems like there should be

GoonFrauleinWeinerKontaktLeiber

# ? Dec 12, 2016 09:43

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

The last dream I had I was viewing an open home when the host started screaming in the other room 'my dog my loving dog!' Then came into the room with blood dripping down her face covering her teeth holding a frozen rolled up dog with a bite missing

# ? Dec 12, 2016 10:01

Drunk & Ugly: Feb 10, 2003; GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

More like Jeff Psycho :smug:

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Is there some German word that means this? Seems like there should be

wait i thought everyone did this

oh poo poo

# ? Dec 12, 2016 10:09

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Cumslut1895 posted:

I legit had a "showed up to school naked" dream

edit: also "several exam I haven't studied for" dreams

these and the teeth dreams are all anxiety dreams

# ? Dec 12, 2016 10:12

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

all my anxiety dreams take place in high school where i have a test or paper to turn in but it feels like i haven't been to the class in three months

then i wake up and wonder why I'm still having dreams about high school at 27

# ? Dec 12, 2016 10:28

free basket of chips: Sep 7, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

I also have dreams where I'm back in school, but its elementary school. In those dreams I always try and make myself look like a prophet by using my knowledge of future events to predict the future.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 10:45

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

corn on the cop posted:

all my anxiety dreams take place in high school where i have a test or paper to turn in but it feels like i haven't been to the class in three months

then i wake up and wonder why I'm still having dreams about high school at 27

same, but 31

usually i figure it out during the dream and then promptly wake up

# ? Dec 12, 2016 13:01

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I've only ever had one dream where my teeth fall out; more often I have dreams that my teeth have started growing in all weird and I can't close my mouth right anymore :ohdear:

# ? Dec 12, 2016 13:53

JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

poo poo, the dream I always have is that I'm onstage, in a huge arena, giant screaming crowd, guitar hanging off my shoulder and the gig's about to start....and I realize I can't actually play the guitar. You'd think I'd be going 'aw gently caress, it's this drat dream again', but no, I panic. Every.Single.Time.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 14:03

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Y'all need to reenter your dreams find your hands and proceed to rock the joint, our find your teeth or stop caring. This is your dream, go master it

# ? Dec 12, 2016 14:04

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Hardawn posted:

Y'all need to reenter your dreams find your hands and proceed to rock the joint, our find your teeth or stop caring. This is your dream, go master it

My wife told me a story about a recurring nightmare she had as a kid involving a mysteriously-appearing bottomless well covered in creepy rubber hands, until in one instance of it her dream-mom told her to just give the hands a handshake and get over it. So she did, and never had the dream again.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 14:08

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

This is pretty spergy I guess but I don't understand how people don't take showers daily, and the ones that do shower daily only do it in the morning. Im also not a clean freak but it bugs the poo poo out of me to feel this way

The feeling of being out at all (or hell even if I haven't even left my apartment I feel this way) and not showering before bed is baffling. Like after a sweaty day at work the way my skin feels against itself and the sheets after the sweat has dried is so goddamn gross as well as any crotch/buttcrack that wasn't washed

If you do shower once a day but it's only in the morning you're still gross as hell, all the poo poo from your day is still on you and in your bed, and I'm not even sure how people that don't shower sleep sometimes

It really helps I guess that I only sleep naked and cuddling a pony plushie and sleeping naked just feels really good on clean sheets and a clean body really helps me sleep

Like I said I'm not a clean freak at all and probably come off that way but my apartment is a little messy always and not OCD clean as hell, just showers before sleeping is mandatory in my head, haven't not showered before bed in years

I recommend you shower before going to bed and try sleeping naked maybe, I only did this anonymously because it's spergy and insignificant as hell probably to some people lol

I shower in the morning because (a) I get crazy bed hair which needs to be fixed before I go outside and (b) nobody showers twice a day you spaz

this guy is really protective of his bedsheets and stuffed animals apparently

quote:

I've been into incest porn since I was about thirteen. It really didn't matter what kind as long as they were pretending to be biologically related. As soon as I heard the term "step" I was uninterested unless it was really good or they played up the taboo aspect anyway although I've found that a lot of video titles say step-mom or step-brother but it's clear they're pretending to be biological in the video.

Anyway, as soon as my daughter was born, I instantly lost interest in dad/daughter porn. It's loving disgusting. That's your fake daughter, you sick gently caress. That didn't alleviate any concerns I had or anything though. I was never worried that it would influence my actual life because even though it was my kind of porn, I didn't want to roleplay it or think about it during actual sex. I think it's because I was never jerking off to the idea of it happening to me. It's the idea of someone else. I think it's the opposite of the mistake some cucks make where because they enjoy watching a video of it happening to someone else, they incorrectly assume they'll enjoy watching it happen to them.

I suspect that most people into this kind of porn aren't into actual incest but have just found a massive genre of taboo porn with almost unlimited scenarios and plots. You can probably think up the plot for an incest video before you're done reading this sentence. On top of that, because a lot of people like "realistic looking actors" in incest videos, amateurs who wouldn't have a shot in traditional porn can make a killing by selling custom videos. I think, for a lot of people, the models actual attractiveness takes a backseat to how taboo it feels. Annabelle Flowers isn't exactly the American beauty standard. Cory Chase maybe, but you get the point.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 14:16

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

loquacius posted:

shower

Normal people also wash their bed sheets more than once a year and thus this isn't a problem, hth

# ? Dec 12, 2016 14:19

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

Hardawn posted:

Y'all need to reenter your dreams find your hands and proceed to rock the joint, our find your teeth or stop caring. This is your dream, go master it

i do this and the outcome usually results in me moonwalking or boning

# ? Dec 12, 2016 14:31

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I tell people that I'm trying to be a parlor trick magician and that's why I like magic. But the actual truth is that I want to study how to cast magic so I can eventually know how to legally get away with murdering sex offenders with said magic. There's probally wizards here that know what I'm doing and will try to stop me but jokes on them I'm already condemned to hell for jerking off to regular and ordinary porn while being a Mormon so they can't drat my soul that way.

PS If Harry Dresden is real and posting on this forum, tell me your secrets on riding a magic dinosaur.

I'm sorry to tell you this but the only way this could conceivably work is if you reach into your top hat and pull out a gun and shoot them in the loving face

quote:

I'm a closeted gay man who can relate to the dude with the gay roomate on page 36. I'm not attracted to gay guys, only straight guys. I haven't met a gay man who is straight-acting yet, so I don't know if I'd be attracted to that.

I've got a confession and a few words to the confesser. If you wanna skip my pathetic story, I'll partition this confession.

-------------

Had a traumatic event happen in 2010 that caused me to be diagnosed with depression. Felt like poo poo and was crying all the time. Had a friend I liked in high school reach out to me and I asked him if he'd like to hang out out of nowhere. We did and he had a great time and invited me to lunch the next day. We're in our early 20s.

We hung out more than we did in high school and I was falling in love with him. We went on a road trip and during dinner I came out to him in the parking lot and told him if he hated me for falling in love with him, I'll take him home and leave him alone. Never came out to anybody before, so I was terrified, but he was cool and told me he was flattered, and enjoyed my company and friendship and that he didn't hate me. In tears, I hugged him and asked if we'd hang out more.

We did. For months.

The days we hung out, I noticed how uncomfortable he began to be when I'd hug him and kiss his shoulder while my head was on it. He wasn't gay and would constantly remind me of that fact. Inside I did want to try to "change" him because I was probably the happiest I've ever been in my entire life, at least that's how it felt with that whole disastrous event that year. More touching and feeling, though moving my hand toward his belly would make him move my hand out of the way.

We would fight too. Felt like he was my boyfriend, when he really wasn't and would try to hint that he's trying to date girls. We'd talk on the phone on almost a schedule we both agreed on and I'd wait all night for my flip phone to ring. Wasn't really allowed to call him at work or at home unless it was an emergency. Would yell at him if he was like 4 hours late to call me, even if he had a legit excuse as to why he couldn't call.

One day he threatened to out me and blackmailed me to come out to another friend of ours just so he could talk to that guy about this "relationship" (likely to complain and ask for advice). Hated him for that, but then broke down to tears. He thanked me for coming out to that dude and that we could go out to dinner the next day. We hung out more times, but it was apparent he became pretty distant. I would get mad at him for not talking to me about it and fights would occur.

We planned for a breakfast for this upcoming weekend. Mid-week I received a text message from a number I didn't recognize in class:

"Ur gay? lol what a human being" or somethimg along those lines.
"Who is this?" I replied.
"It's Jesus. Ur gonna burn in hell for being gay." I left class early.

The first thing that crossed my mind was that my friend outed me again to his ex-girlfriend. Called and left messages. Didn't get any responses.

I had to pick him up for our planned breakfast, but apparently kept waking him up too early. Yeah, "on-time" was "too early" dick. The car ride and the diner was really awkward. We were both mad at each other. Asked him why he outed me again. He said he didn't out me and that it was him who sent me those mean text messages. Started to cry and he didn't care. He was so sick of me and I hated myself for ruining this friendship. Even made fun of my depression, suggesting I should also take pills in addition to my "happy" pills to make me not be such a human being. Asked him if we were still friends and he didn't respond. He said bye as he walked to work (diner was walking distance) because he didn't want a ride from me. Cried in my car.

Tried calling him again and again, but he ignored me. I stopped trying after 3 weeks. We lasted for almost a year. I can't forget his birthday so still think about him once every year, but in hindsight he was a lovely person.

----------

To the guy who's roommate is in love with him, I'm making the assumption he's working a 9-5 job and is making bank. He's probably only seeing you in the morning, nights, and weekends. That may be so wrong, but it's the only explanation that makes sense to me. I also assume you both are in your late 20s or early 30s. I was young and stupid in 2010, but I learned the hard way that I can never date a straight man. Ever.

If you say you've known Ryan (roommate) for a couple years now and know him very well, believe him when he says he loves you. I'm envious that you allows him to touch your crotch and spoon from time to time, and it sounds like you two both consent to these rules and have a lot of communication about what's okay and not okay. Envious of Ryan for being able to keep it in his pants and be fine not having any sex with you. In my opinion that really shows he does genuinely love you for you.

Paying for your rent and being able to kiss you on the cheek is probably the closest he'll ever get with you, hence not minding. I wasn't able to keep my hands of my ex-friend, even when he would tell me to stop. I'm happy to hear after 2 months you two are still good friends, and I hope when you get a new job and break up with him that you don't do what my ex-friend did to me. And still be friends.

Happy to hear you love Ryan too. That's really sweet. Tell him that every once in a while and how your friendship is important. If you wanna talk, I can send you my email through loquacius (if that's cool with you, loquacius I mean). Don't mind it being posted anonymously in the thread if anybody else in the closet want to talk about our straight guy problems.

Tearing up as I'm writing this holy poo poo.

I honestly don't know enough about guerrillamail to know whether I could just reply to one of your confessions with the other one's email address and have it go through, but I could def try to help put people in touch with each other if I'm asked to do it (ITT or via PM or the gmail or whatever).

And the other guy's situation still felt creepy and Nice-Guy-ish to me, but new anon, the guy from your story was in fact an rear end in a top hat (condolences) and I can see how the other story would stir up bad memories.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 22:46

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

whens jastigers next confession

# ? Dec 12, 2016 23:18

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Putty posted:

whens jastigers next confession

oh right, Putty wrote a confession claiming to be Jastiger but really he wants everyone to go to his Youtube channel

# ? Dec 12, 2016 23:19

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

# ? Dec 12, 2016 23:21

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

That straight guy probably got his strings pulled so hard he'll be afraid of dicks the rest of his life and shower with his pants on. Please do not molest people for months on end fellow goons.

# ? Dec 12, 2016 23:33

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

i'm not reading that insanely long confession but it seems to me if you're gay anf want to gently caress mostly straight guys you should get good at cross dressing

if you're fat, hairy and never going to pass well sucks to be you

# ? Dec 12, 2016 23:37

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# ? May 10, 2024 00:25

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

I love dreams, they're your brain's skunkworks where it tries to figure out what to do if really wild situations come up irl.

Also that one confession I could only think of imago sequence

# ? Dec 12, 2016 23:44

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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