/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Gaunab posted:

Was my [23 F] boyfriend [23 M] being too flirty or am I being crazy?

So I was at a party with my boyfriend (of only 2 months) last week and there was this girl that couldn't keep his hands off him (I'm pretty sure she knows we are together). He didn't seem to mind though. She would grab his hand and lead him around the party, the kept play fighting/wrestling where he would cary her around and throw her onto things and tickle her, they would sit on the couch with her legs wrapped around him. Just stuff like that which really got to me.

I asked him about it after and he said I was being crazy and that I was embarrassing myself by bringing it up. ("She lives in a different state and is just visiting... why would you get so hung up about me spending time with my friend?")

I'm not sure what to do, maybe I am being crazy. Any thoughts?

tl;dr: Is my man being too flirty with this girl or am I being crazy?

That's his sister! Or well, probably someone he grew up with. They were probably just super stoked to see one another and yeah there's probably some attraction there, but meh. Dude didn't handle the aftermath well.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 03:05

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# ? May 16, 2024 12:44

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

loquacius posted:

It changes the entire movie though! I'm not complaining, it's much better this way, I just don't get how your decision-making could work that way and arrive at this decision entirely by accident. I am not A Creative.

Movies are their own thing. Usually the script, after multiple rewrites from the original, is still just a loose framework that gets referred to, as actors and production crew get involved and add to the creative process. Sometimes a movie might shoot multiple different endings and different versions of scenes and see how it all shakes out in editing and screening. Depending on how that goes, you might even come back to reshoot scenes or make some new ones!

# ? Dec 13, 2016 03:09

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Pvt.Scott posted:

That's his sister! Or well, probably someone he grew up with. They were probably just super stoked to see one another and yeah there's probably some attraction there, but meh. Dude didn't handle the aftermath well.

Yeah, there's nothing my sister and I like more than wrapping our legs around each other

# ? Dec 13, 2016 03:15

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Pvt.Scott posted:

That's his sister! Or well, probably someone he grew up with. They were probably just super stoked to see one another and yeah there's probably some attraction there, but meh. Dude didn't handle the aftermath well.

Do people who aren't romantically involved in some way really wrestle/tickle/entwine themselves on couches/etc? That just seems bizarre and/or creepy depending on the relation between the two.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 03:15

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

from r/childfree

I'd hire someone to rape you

quote:

At school we started to talk about children. I told my friends how I don't want children. One of them decided to tell me, "I'd hire someone to rape a baby in you!"
I'm truly disgusted. Why would even think about that!
EDIT: Thanks for the responses! I am in high school, and also very rarely talk to this 'friend'. For those asking for more context, we were talking about things we liked when we were younger. This lead on to us talking about kids. We all expressed our opinions, and everyone was accepting everyone else's opinions. The 'friend' in question most likely mentioned it as a joke, but it was still an extremely stupid thing to say.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 03:29

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Anony Mouse posted:

from r/childfree

I'd hire someone to rape you

Since its from r/childfree you can rest easy knowing its more likely than not STDH.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 03:45

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

It probably happened because they are apparently high schoolers.

Also lol at being a child free in high school.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 04:18

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Yeah as soon as the words "I am in high school" were written the story instantly became believable.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 04:33

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

CharlestheHammer posted:

It probably happened because they are apparently high schoolers.

Also lol at being a child free in high school.

everyone's a childfree in high school, because high schoolers are literal children who likely do not have a concept of adult responsibility and life milestones

# ? Dec 13, 2016 05:03

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Eh. I'm 35 now and knew I wanted nothing to do with raising kids when I was 15. Still no kids, can't have them now too. I'm happy with this.

I don't ever say poo poo like crotch fruit though. Children are a part of life it's cool and whatever. Course I don't do a ton of poo poo I run into kids at cause I'm not a child like everyone in that sub.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 05:36

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Captain Hygiene posted:

Do people who aren't romantically involved in some way really wrestle/tickle/entwine themselves on couches/etc? That just seems bizarre and/or creepy depending on the relation between the two.

It happens sometimes, yeah. Don't worry, it's still weird outside of gatherings of close friends who are used to that poo poo. Some people are really unconcerned with personal space or just enjoy physical contact and they occasionally find one another and don't fall in love, but like, hang out. :shrug:

# ? Dec 13, 2016 06:49

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

Captain Hygiene posted:

Do people who aren't romantically involved in some way really wrestle/tickle/entwine themselves on couches/etc? That just seems bizarre and/or creepy depending on the relation between the two.

It's certainly common among ballet and modern dancers.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 07:04

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

Not relationships but r/legaladvice, but wow, this is quite the slavery success story.

i want to get a new job but boss owns all my possessions and is going to take everything away if i leave. i dont think this is right but dont know who to call. dallas, tx

quote:

this is kind of a long story but i am 19 and want to leave my job and go find a new one i can do part time so i can finish school. my boss is okay with me leaving but the problem is that he wont be able to support me anymore if i do which means i will lose everything i own andnow i don�t really know where to turn.

i statred here when i was 16. a guy i knew got a big suite in the hotel which is one of the nicest ones in dallas.we had a party here. we were drinking and it got out of control and people threw up in the room and caused a lot of damage around the hotel and stole a bunch of things. the next morning i woke up to manager and security yelling at me, my �friends� were all gone but left me sleeping.
the manager took me to his office and i was crying and begged him not to call the police so he said i could start coming in after school and helping them clean rooms and do dishes in the kitchen to work off the money from all the damage and he wouldnt call the police.
after a few weeks i told him i couldnt anymore because my parents wouldnt drive me since i wasnt bringing home any money to save and they said he was taking advantage of me, but i just didnt want to tell them i was working to pay off the debt and i didnt listen because i know they didnt know the full story. so he bought me an used bike to use and said he wanted me there every day until the dmage was all paid plus the bike.

over the next couple months he got more and more demanding and every time i asked how much more work i had to do he always just said he'll tell me when i'm finished and if i don't want to he can just call the police. so i just kept working and doing what he said. he changed my hours to 4-12 every night and it was effecting mt school. he is a nice guy and didnt want my grades to suffer and i always had to bring him my report cards but he said do not drop out. but when i turned 18 i stopped going to school and just slept in the day. when he found out he said i had to be here pretty muhc all day if im not going to be in school, which i hate because i dont really have any time for friends or my girlfriend
then things got rocky with the rents and i said i wanted to leave and my boss is house sitting for a family that lives in india, it has been great except a couple months per year i have to move out because they rae coming home. they odnt know that i love there for the rest of the itme.
it's not all bad because i have lived comfortably, he lets me take home food fromi d the hotel that is left over from the very upscale restaurant and the house i live in is really nice and if there are books or other things in the gift shop that noone buys sometimes he lets me take those too.
still i have told him several times that i want to be paid but he always says i owe him and will not tell me how much the damage was or how much i have worked off. i know the statute of limitations is 3 years and after that he acnt press charges against me.
so yesterday was 3 years exactly and i told him that i know he cant have me arreste danymore and that i want to quit. he said that's okay, but he bought my bike, all the good looking clothes i have,and all the essentials i needed since i was 16. now he's saying if i dont work for him anymore that i cant live in the house and i have to give back all the things he bought for me to use during my job.
he has got me a lot of things but i have seriously no money, so theres no way i can leave the job. when i need something i just ask him and if im doing well at work he will buy it for me. so i dont even know where to start to rebuild my life after this place.
are there resources for cases like this? is ther a way to make him let me keeo everything until i am on my own feet?
thank you reddit.
EDIT - MONDAY MORNING: wow i am so overwhlemd to look again this morning and see all the responses. i cant believe how much bigger a deal this is then i realized. i know from an outsider perspective how crazy this must look but it was just so easy to fall into this thing and hard to get away form. i called 2 law offices today and both were closed but i did the conttact form so hopefully they will call me back. i also tried the police but they said it sounds like a civil issue and said i should contact a lawyer also. i told them what you guys said that he was basically using me as a slave but they said unless he was physically detaining me against my will that its nothing they can help with. thakn you so much for all the help.

2 years later:

quote:

I posted here a couple years ago when I was stuck working for someone who threatened to have me arrested over some room damage my friends caused. Sorry I can�t find the post but some of you may remmber. A lot has changed since then and the advice I got from all of you has been such a big part of it that I have thought about this frequently and wanted to come back and write something to update you.

The firm I hired was the best thing I could ever have hoped for. They got me out from under his thumb immediately and helped me get back on my own feet without having to be under my boss or my parents or anyone else. During the days after that I basically lived in their offices for a few months when this started since we were going through a thousand emails and voice messages talking about the context behind them all and trying to make a long timeline of events and tell them everything that ever happened with him. It was so emotionally draining but their team was very supportive and helped me get through the hard times.

When it was all laid out in front of me the guilt over what I did to my life really took hold. How could I be so stupid, it�s so obvious what he was doing, etc. Simple math said that none of this made sense but I just didn�t see it. I think part of it was because of my parents and not wanting to listen to them so much that I decided they had to be wrong when they tried to get me to stop.
My lawyers started talking to my boss and his lawyer and the hotel chain�s executives and also to the police and they said there were also some issues that made it possibly a federal crime. None of that register with me how serious it was. But once that happened and I thought things were going to be okay, he came to the hotel I was staying in, yes he actually followed me from my lawyer�s office one day and that�s how he found out where was staying, and came to the door yelling at me about how he gave me everything and did everything for me and that this is going to ruin him and his family, and showing me pictures of his kids who he said would starve without him to put food on the table, telling me I blew this all out of proportion and that my lawyers were going to bankrupt his family and put him in prison for life. They never said anything to me about that and I didn�t want his family to suffer so much but he was also being really mean. He had NEVER yelled at me like this before and even though he never hurt me in the past, this time I actually was scared. I texted my lawyer to see what I should do and they came immediately with the police and they arrested him immediately and got me a restraining order.

A few days later my mom and lawyer came over while I was taking a nap and woke me up and told me he killed himself. I have never felt as bad as I did at that moment, it�s a feeling I wouldn�t wish on anyone. Just a sick feeling in my stomach and my whole body felt numb and I felt like it was a bad dream I could wake up from, except I couldn�t. I had a mental breakdown and spent 2 months in the hospital thinking about all the things he said to me about his family and about me overblowing this and it made me question everything again. My lawyers said they would handle as much of this as they can without me and just come to me when they had something important they needed my input for. My parents also came back in the picture and were very supportive and were helping more than I ever expected. I asked my mom to bring a printout of all the comments from my first post and that helped me a lot, I read over them every day, just to remind myself that what he did was NOT ok and that I was right to get help.

The most apologetic person was someone from the hotel chain. They said it was a private owned and managed hotel so my boss didn�t even work for them but they still wanted to make sure I was okay. In the first comments you guys were saying I should be owed at least $30,000. Well, the hotel chain itself paid me more than that just for agreeing that they were not responsible for what he did. Lawyers said it was a generous offer they didn�t even have to make and that the person I talked to genuinely felt sick over my situation and wanted to do the right thing, so they told me I should take it and that there was a lot more coming from the franchisee which actually owns dozens of hotels, but not all from this chain.

The franchisee was very defensive at first but a big turning point was when they realized that one of the managers who was over the hotels in Dallas was actually a guy I saw all the time and who my boss had told the story of me working there and we talked about it once and he told me he hoped I worked it off soon and wished me good luck. But he knew I was there for years and he was also the one who approved our budgets so he knew they were not paying me. my lawyers were very smart to find this out and when they did the franchisee wanted to settle.

It was a big settlement. My lawyers got a third. They said it�s one of the biggest any of them has ever seen for this kind of case but they said it was fully warranted. I have enough to live on for a very long time and can also finish my education in hotel management and will have enough left over to start a hotel after if I still want to do that. It has been a blessing but I also didn�t realize how incredibly hard it is. I never told anyone about the settlement but people found out. everyone comes out of the woodwork and suddenly wants to be my friend again, so the hardest thing is by far trying to figure out who I want to be friends with and who I don�t. Little awkward things like you go to dinner with a small group and people look at you like they expect you to pay for everyone just because you got a big payout. Guess who even had the balls to call me? The �friends� I was with all those years ago who left me in that drat room, and my girlfriend who I tried to protect from her parents and didn�t reveal their names so her bible thumper parents wouldn�t find out she was bi. It hurt a lot to hear from them after all these years. Very upsetting. prertty much the only people I really trust now are the people who stuck with me before. But I do have a financial manager now who makes sure I�m being smart with my money and tells me how much I should use for different things I want to do.

So that�s my story, and now I�m going to school part time and also doing a lot of outdoor sports and also got into cooking. Little things like having time for hobbies and fun are a big change for me and I still feel like it�s some new life i�mg getting used to. I feel like I�ve lived 4 lives already in these different little phases. But so far this one is my favorite.
i still have nightmares sometimes about my old boss and just remembering him yelling at me that day at my hotel, and then me hearing that he died. I remember all the times he was nice to me and gave me things and did things for me and gave me dating advice and told me I was smart, pretty, etc. Sometimes I wonder even as happy as I am now if it was worthwhile to know that he's gone and his family is suffering and has nothing. My therapist says sometimes the right thing can be hard and hurts and sometimes bad things happen to good people who don't deserve it but that I did everything right, so that helps me feel a lot better. one day at a time.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 07:22

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Dude could get a direct to TV movie made about him.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 07:27

Anza Borrego: Feb 11, 2005; Ovis canadensis nelsoni

CharlestheHammer posted:

Dude could get a direct to TV movie made about him.

It's a girl - see the bit about her girlfriend's bible thumping parents can't find out she's bi and "he told me I'm pretty"

But yeah, that's a Lifetime special for sure

# ? Dec 13, 2016 08:25

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Noggin Monkey posted:

It's a girl - see the bit about her girlfriend's bible thumping parents can't find out she's bi and "he told me I'm pretty"

But yeah, that's a Lifetime special for sure

That changes the dynamics a bit. As I missed that part.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 08:29

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Noggin Monkey posted:

It's a girl - see the bit about her girlfriend's bible thumping parents can't find out she's bi and "he told me I'm pretty"

But yeah, that's a Lifetime special for sure

Are you certain?

quote:

i dont really have any time for friends or my girlfriend

I mean, it doesn't mean it's not a girl, but somehow I think parents would be more open to a boy doing this work than a girl.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 08:52

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Khazar-khum posted:

Are you certain?

I mean, it doesn't mean it's not a girl, but somehow I think parents would be more open to a boy doing this work than a girl.

yep:

quote:

did things for me and gave me dating advice and told me I was smart, pretty, etc.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 09:42

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Khazar-khum posted:

Are you certain?

I mean, it doesn't mean it's not a girl, but somehow I think parents would be more open to a boy doing this work than a girl.

quote:

my girlfriend who I tried to protect from her parents and didn�t reveal their names so her bible thumper parents wouldn�t find out she was bi.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 09:54

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

Hmm. I'm not sure. Are you sure?

# ? Dec 13, 2016 10:07

hackbunny: Jul 22, 2007; I haven't been on SA for years but the person who gave me my previous av as a joke felt guilty for doing so and decided to get me a non-shitty av

Pvt.Scott posted:

Movies are their own thing. Usually the script, after multiple rewrites from the original, is still just a loose framework that gets referred to, as actors and production crew get involved and add to the creative process. Sometimes a movie might shoot multiple different endings and different versions of scenes and see how it all shakes out in editing and screening. Depending on how that goes, you might even come back to reshoot scenes or make some new ones!

and sometimes you shoot scenes without a clear idea of what you're doing, and the movie only comes together in the cutting room

# ? Dec 13, 2016 10:29

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

you mean people can have GIRLfriends without being a BOY??? what is this???? how can that be possible ??? ? ??

# ? Dec 13, 2016 12:29

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

alright guys, all hands on deck. we need to discover the gender of this person that posted a slavery story

# ? Dec 13, 2016 12:52

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

I tracked down their profile picture, does this help?

# ? Dec 13, 2016 12:56

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Anony Mouse posted:

I tracked down their profile picture, does this help?

the lab says its inconclusive

# ? Dec 13, 2016 13:01

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

employment slavery op, in a reply to a deleted comment posted:

you don't know me and you don't know my parents. also, i'm not a he.

even without that detail, it's still an impossibly hosed up situation. I'm really surprised that all I found from googling for it was the original post and not any news articles about it because what the heck

# ? Dec 13, 2016 14:34

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

What a loving shame. If that idiot had waited a year for college he would have seen how dumb focusing on one other human being with "if you don't love me I'll kill myself" theatrics are; and now she has to deal with this poo poo. At least she's not internalizing this poo poo.

I can't say I don't get it tho, as a kid ill equipped to deal with it, unrequited love was just fuckin' the most torturous thing.

Puberty and mental illness together are a helluva thing, that's about all I can think of to explain it. Goes way beyond any "nice guy" stuff into obsession and threats, but she did what she could to let someone know about it. Sucks that's she'll always have that nagging guilt and will probably end up in therapy because of it, especially with the other kids constantly reminding and blaming her.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 15:17

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

This is an amazing thread, I'm going to shower a second time this morning, what the gently caress Reddit, what the gently caress.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 15:24

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Jesus. That guy enslaving a 16 year old girl with blackmail.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 15:43

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

What an awful story but I'm glad she got paid

Holy poo poo though

# ? Dec 13, 2016 15:47

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

A lot of depressing stories in r/relationships today. This isn't one of them.

quote:

My (36F) husband's (33M) family wants to charge us for Christmas dinner. Am I the crazy one??

We received a group text from my husband's cousin (26F) last night, saying she would love to host Christmas this year (she lives with her parents, husband's aunt and uncle, who are in their 50's). She is insisting on making all the food, but has asked everyone to pitch in financially.

I offered to make a dish instead, and she refused, saying her way is easier (okayyyy). This is the tackiest thing I've ever heard of. She works full time, makes a decent wage, and lives at home rent-free. While we're not struggling financially, we've had a lot happen this year (bought a house, got married, I had surgery, etc.) and aren't exactly swimming in money either. Plus, my husband has helped her and her sister financially for so long before we met, I feel it's absurd to ask for a cover charge for Christmas dinner.

Of course we can afford to pitch in, but I'm very offended that she asked. Am I in the wrong? My husband responded to the text, saying we couldn't afford it, but they all know that's not true and there was no response. How should we proceed?

TL;DR husband's family wants to charge us for Christmas dinner this year. I am looking for advice on how to respond.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 15:52

Hug in a Can: Aug 1, 2010; NICE FLAMINGO
kind heart
fierce mind
brave spirit

be good and try hard!

Gaunab posted:

A lot of depressing stories in r/relationships today. This isn't one of them.

This is some pure Ann Landers/Dear Abby midcentury middle-class gold :allears:

eppie and popo would be proud

# ? Dec 13, 2016 16:18

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Uh, pay for the food and enjoy a family meal?

# ? Dec 13, 2016 16:30

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

How much are they asking for? If it's :20bux:

or something similar, then yea I would just pay it and chalk it up to family weirdness.

If it's like $100, then tell them no or ask for an itemized receipt of the food.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 16:32

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

You're all right, but the sister in law is missing a crucial rule for family function.

Never mix money and family. Not if you can help it. The moment you decide one family member owes another money ALL the old disputes and favors become fair game to argue about.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 16:41

ravenkult: Feb 3, 2011

Man, that kid's parents really dropped the ball huh? What kind of a parent lets their daughter be enslaved without doing something?

# ? Dec 13, 2016 16:46

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

It's always tacky but the amount the sister was asking for for the food is a pretty important detail.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 16:57

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

If you truly can't afford to host an event but you've somehow agreed to do it anyway, privately bumming some cash from a few closer relatives is probably better than publicly charging admission to Christmas dinner.

ravenkult posted:

Man, that kid's parents really dropped the ball huh? What kind of a parent lets their daughter be enslaved without doing something?

She says in the followup that she was too FUKK U MOM :argh:

to listen to her parents, though it sounds like she had other issues with them (pretty believable as a gay teenager in Texas) and I'd bet the hotel manager was blackmailing her with the threat of revealing the trashed hotel room to her parents as well.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 17:00

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

ikanreed posted:

You're all right, but the sister in law is missing a crucial rule for family function.

Never mix money and family. Not if you can help it. The moment you decide one family member owes another money ALL the old disputes and favors become fair game to argue about.

It would make so much more sense to just ask everyone/accept offers to bring a dish if you *really* can't afford to make everything. Refusing that and outright asking for money is pretty bad, maybe it's a secret ploy to piss everyone off enough that you never have to host again.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 17:06

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# ? May 16, 2024 12:44

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Lol, I'd just not go. The sheer tackiness at charging your own family and guests would be too much.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 17:09

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