I Was The Fury posted:

mrbradlymrmartin posted:

alnilam posted:

Hey everyone, I have a gift of the heart for BYOB. Also because it's an abstract gift I'm declaring that it goes to every santee and even to yobbers who didn't participate

I don8ed to MSF/Doctors Without Borders. It's an 8 year xmas tradish for me to donate a large sum to them (and smaller sums to a few other fav charities) and then write/draw/paint cards to my family saying that i did that instead of getting gifts. it's also been a long xmas battle to try to get my parents to do the same for me...

So like it or not this year BYOB is being drawn into the mix! Congrats BYOB on being donated in honor of, and also feel free to join me, lord knows it's been a rough couple of years for MSF what with their hospitals being bombed and stuff

Manifisto posted:

no problem dude, I pretty much figured it out!

alnilam posted:

Hey everyone, I have a gift of the heart for BYOB. Also because it's an abstract gift I'm declaring that it goes to every santee and even to yobbers who didn't participate

I don8ed to MSF/Doctors Without Borders. It's an 8 year xmas tradish for me to donate a large sum to them (and smaller sums to a few other fav charities) and then write/draw/paint cards to my family saying that i did that instead of getting gifts. it's also been a long xmas battle to try to get my parents to do the same for me...

So like it or not this year BYOB is being drawn into the mix! Congrats BYOB on being donated in honor of, and also feel free to join me, lord knows it's been a rough couple of years for MSF what with their hospitals being bombed and stuff

Vynar posted:

it is neat to help people help people

City of Glompton posted:

aw alnilam

City of Glompton posted:

aw alnilam

FluffieDuckie posted:

it was all i could do to restrain myself from sending cards saying "a donation to the aclu has been made in your honor" to my conservative family members

it was, perhaps, not in the spirit of the season

Piso Mojado posted:

Al, can I haz the receipt for tax purposes

Piso Mojado posted:

Al, can I haz the receipt for tax purposes

alnilam posted:

sure I'll write my SSN on it too just to be sure

FluffieDuckie posted:

it was all i could do to restrain myself from sending cards saying "a donation to the aclu has been made in your honor" to my conservative family members

it was, perhaps, not in the spirit of the season

ladybeard mcflurry posted:

alnilam, this is why you are byob's favorite chicken dad. you're a real good egg and i appreciate you. merry yobmas, my friend.


i maybe was not in the spirit of the season and did just that for my in-laws who called me a baby murderer. i'm good with it.

super mario batali posted:

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL NAME

FluffieDuckie posted:

it was all i could do to restrain myself from sending cards saying "a donation to the aclu has been made in your honor" to my conservative family members

it was, perhaps, not in the spirit of the season

super mario batali posted:

Somebody should get a package today

alnilam posted:

actually something like 20 million people should get a package today

quote:

Dear Shabbat Goy,

I hear you have been a good
boy this year.

Since you requested some whacky
engrish products I have included
a knockoff starwars lego set, which
you shall build and post in a thread
(if you want) [editor's note: I do and I will...]

Also enclosed is $1,000,000 since
you have been so good, you
can spend it on anything you want!

I heard your cat is a butthead
but I included some of the
dankest of nugs (of catnip).

THE REST OF THE BOX IS
FILLED WITH CHOCOLATE

Have a very merry YOBmas,
and a happy new year!

Santa Claus

shabbat goy posted:

Haha, so a package was waiting for me at my door and immediately upon bringing it in, my cat was hype.



I tore one of the flaps off the side and immediately candy started to stream out which is dope because I love to eat candy



There was also a card addressed "From: Hammok CAT, TO: Shabbat Goy", which I will open later. There was also a handwritten note:


Let's tear into this bad boy...



The nugs were dank, my cat is doped up and currently just tearing rear end around the house for no good reason.

Outside of the card:



Inside the card:



1 million dollars! (Zimbabwe) and a lottery ticket which I have yet to scratch off (but will shortly, I was excited to make a post)

And the pièce de résistance:



From everyone's favorite Danish toy company "GUDI" it's STAR 星球争霸: CNNTEND FNR HEGEMNNY

This collection of gifts is spot on, serious gratitude to super mario batali for putting it all together! Thanks a million!

Merry Yobmas one and all.

I'm going to drink beers and assemble some GUDIs

super mario batali posted:

edit: I think the bad english on the "legos" is supposed to say "Contend for Hegemony"

ladybeard mcflurry posted:

a package came flying through my open window and i caught it before it took out the tea kettle. very clever, mr. ups man, but your days are numbered, sir. i'll get you. i'll give you a nice cup of tea and some warm cookies someday. you motherfucker. i'll make you like those cookies. yes.

i opened the box, and a missive written in green sharpie, hastily, with bloodstains and digital sparkling octopodes disguising it as Nothing Important hid in the box, concealing its treasure. i opened the letter, eager for news from the front of liberation, but read only as follows:

__ BEGIN TRANSMISSION __

(pg 1)

dear friend,

the winds of the blue tundra are swift and they are cold. i have been in this bunker for one hundred days now. the screens glow with beauty but not with warmth; their incessant barrage of jingles & cheer do nothing to warm my aching joints.

the elves are all dead. when the factory burned & the reindeer killed my wife and burned her as a sacrifice to their red nosed god, the elvenfolk smuggled me away to this place. the few who stayed with me did not die in vain, as their flesh have has sustained me in this dark time. the rest i have seen littering the roadways. when i have foraged out for supplies

(pg 2)

i live a fugitive, but i will keep my promise to you, which i made when you were but a wee lad. the gifts shall always come if you have been good, and in a sea of death you have been a beacon of light.

i found this in a burned & hollowed Borders. i think you will find it amusing. i have a few more trinkets which the resistance have sent word about, but their post shall be delayed.

i hear the bombs beginning. i must hide. hail to jack frost. stay warm.

Santa [tiny hat here]

__ END TRANSMISSION __





BUT WHAT HO! a good sign, for it is our prophet Shirley Jackson, author of The Lottery and The Haunting of Hill House, and one of my favorite writers! AND IT'S HER MEMOIR. THANK YOU.

i've wanted to read this for a long time and it's good. HAIL SANTA.

super mario batali posted:

That really is one million dollars I'll have you know. There is another package that will be shipped soon.

edit: I think the bad english on the "legos" is supposed to say "Contend for Hegemony"

shabbat goy posted:

there's more?!

Also my friend told me that 星球争霸 is just "Star Wars" (it literally translates to planet hegemony) so the "Star" in English at the beginning is redundant. He said it can also mean Star Craft like the video game..