Jazz Police posted:

Accidental incest girl updated:


Maybe should've taken the DNA test before assuming his mom would share a reaction with a bunch of internet shut-ins.

quote:

I've been starting to think about our future and I don't know if I want to live like this forever. We are planning to move in a few years after we get married, but untill then, his sister will always wants to be involved and he will always say yes. It's a touchy subject for us and I dont know what to do. I Love him and It sounds stupid but should I break it off and find someone who has a back bone and can say no?

quote:

Me (m26) breaking up with fiance (23) over a threesome

OK before you downvote, please hear me out. I've (m26) been with my SO (23) for just over 2 years and been engaged for 6months. It was the best relationship I ever had but now we've come to an issue where there appears to be no compromise.

Me and my SO were discussing fantasies early in our relationship and we both found we've never had a threesome even though this was a fantasy for us both, I can't remember who brought it up first but we both agreed to a threesome each, so for me there would be me, my partner and another female and she wanted her with me and another guy. We flipped the coin to decide who gets to go first and she won, so I went through with it for her with me her and a friend of mine who she chose. This was 10months ago and my SO promised me that I'll have mine in the near future. Well I'm still waiting and tbh I didn't think it'll ever come, this pissed me off as I went through with it for her but she won't for me. Also it was an agreed deal, so her lying has me questioning whether to continue the relationship anyway. Yesterday she told me after I asked again that she can't share me as she wouldn't be able to live with herself and the relationship has now evolved. Well reddit I did it for her and never would have agreed to it if I had known this would happen, so I was angry but reacted simply by stating that I need space and for now the engagement is off, I also took the ring back and walked out. I've not spoke to her for 6 hours and she's been blowing my phone up begging me to come back. The thing is that I do really love her and didn't want to break this off, am I really right for running a 2yr relationship over a threesome? Also she says that I might sleep with another girl that is better than her and it'll ruin our relationship, according to her the threesome she had proved to her that she doesn't need anyone else and is happy with me. Well I'm not and I still see my friend who was in the threesome and it's now very awkward, especially as it feels like I've been played. Should I just break up and tell her to move out, she doesn't have income and doesn't really have many other places she could go so this feels cruel and like I'm punishing her, but at the same time it's my property and I need space to decide or grieve the relationship. What do you think reddit, am I acting entitled and ruining a good thing? Do I tell her to leave my house?

Tldr: me and my SO both promised each other threesomes, I've gone through with her fantasy threesome but she now won't do the same, legit reason to break up?

WampaLord posted:

Threesomes always ruin relationships.

Without fail.

Gaunab posted:

Incoherence posted:

I feel bad for her, since she took the advice of a bunch of internet idiots who think that loving and planning on marrying your half-brother is normal and no big deal as long as you aren't planning on having kids. At the very least, the DNA test and/or talking to the father should have happened first.

I feel slightly less bad for him: he looks like he's taking the brunt of the consequences, but he also sat on this information for an entire year because apparently he, too, did not think it was a big deal.

timefly posted:

OK that's not true at all
Guy is dumb though

Jazz Police posted:

Accidental incest girl updated:


Maybe should've taken the DNA test before assuming his mom would share a reaction with a bunch of internet shut-ins.

quote:

I[37M] am in love with my best friends[36M] daughter.[17F]

I'm in love with my best friends daughter and really need advice.

Amber and I have always been close I've known her since she was born, but recently I have been staying at my friends house cause I went through a nasty divorce. I'm pretty sure she is flirting with me, she always snuggles up next to me on the couch when he dad is around, and wears these little shorts that just look so drat good on her. Idk what to do.

She is into all the same things as me, and we watch movies together all the time. Recently her dad has been working a lot so it's just me and her in the house. (I work from home.) I kind of want to talk to my friend about these feelings I am having, but I don't know. She turns 18 very soon.

Help?

TL:DR : I'm in love with my best friends daughter and Idk what to do.

Doctor J Off posted:

Memories are made of this:

quote:

Me (35 M) with my wife (33 F), I'm worried she's not very interested in our daughter (2 mo)

Like the title says, my wife, Catherine, and I have been married for eight years. We dated for three years before that in college and have had our ups and downs like every couple. We're both workaholics, very stubborn, and used to getting our way, which can cause problems if we’re not careful. Over time we’ve learned when it’s best to agree to disagree, and when we really need to sit down and talk things out. Unfortunately, I'm really not sure which we need to do this time.

Two months ago, Catherine gave birth to our daughter, Elizabeth. It was an easy pregnancy other than the vomiting in the first few months. Catherine was able to work up to the week before her due date, which was one of those things we agreed to disagree on. She works in a lab, so I had safety concerns, but she did raise practical reasons for staying as long as she did.

Another thing we agreed to disagree on was maternity leave. I wanted her to at least take the full six weeks off because I figured she would be exhausted. I had accumulated enough paid time off that I could be home as well, so we could work together to really learn Elizabeth and what she needed. She went back after two weeks, which was more of a compromise than I expected but less than I hoped for.

I'd say we work really hard to split taking care of Elizabeth fairly equally. We decided together not to do breastfeeding; with her job it just wasn't practical, and she didn't seem keen on the idea anyway. Every other day we alternate who wakes up for nighttime feedings. I go into work later than her so I take morning duty, but she gets home earlier than I do so she takes evening duty. During the day, Elizabeth stays with my MIL, who lives with us.
When we're both home we share the workload, and that's where the problem comes in. I've noticed that unless Elizabeth is in active need of something (feeding, changing, a bath) or crying, Catherine really doesn't have anything to do with her. Even if she is crying, unless it's for a real reason (like being hungry or wet), Catherine doesn't do anything to soothe her.

I know that babies sometimes cry for no reason, and that picking Elizabeth up every time she cries could reinforce the crying, shouldn't she at least pick her up and soothe her a bit? Plus, even when she's not crying, Catherine doesn't interact with her. I've seen her reading more than once while holding her, which I guess is fine but it just seems... off?

I can't help compare her approach to my own (which is definitely more interactive/doting), or even my MIL's approach (which involves constant talking to Elizabeth, very affectionate). I wonder if this is just a difference in parenting style or if it's something I need to be concerned about now - and if it is a concern, how do I bring it up in a way that doesn't end with us agreeing to disagree?

tl;dr: My wife doesn't seem very interested in our daughter of 2 months. Is this just a difference in parenting styles or should I be concerned? If it is a concern, how do I bring it up?

quote:

Laws surrounding giving child up for adoption

I will be consulting a lawyer this week, but prefer to go in with some idea of what to expect.

My wife and I wish to place our 3 month old daughter up for adoption. Are there any laws that could impact this process? Could members of our family file against our decision to adopt out? How long can we expect the entire process to take?

quote:

How much time could it possibly take? I am thinking ahead to the holidays, namely Christmas, and these proceedings could make it awkward for everyone involved.

quote:

UPDATE:Laws surrounding giving child up for adoption

Some of you may have seen my posts (1, 2), or reactions to my posts (1, 2, 3, 4), previously. I must express genuine surprise at the responses my family's story generated. I expected some controversy because such seems to be the nature of things when it comes to decisions regarding parenting. The sheer amount of feedback, however, was unanticipated.

Such feedback, however, is why I make this post. I wanted to thank those who provided their advice and opinions, positive or negative, as it provided my wife and I a great deal to consider.
First, a summary. My wife [33] and I [35] had a planned child, our daughter, now 4 months. I first expressed concern when I noticed my wife did not engage with our daughter is the same way I or my MIL did. There were multiple reasons behind this, including my wife's personal beliefs about child-rearing and her expectations of what child-rearing would consist of.

We decided as a team that adoption was our most reasonable option, but could not settle on in- or out-of-family adoption. Seeking advice from Reddit did little to clarify this issue for us, and resulted in a broader online discussion.
Now, the update. My wife broke the news to my MIL of our decision to adopt just prior to Thanksgiving. She reacted poorly, which is to be expected, and with a great deal of yelling. This did not endear her to my wife, who finds yelling annoying, but attempts to placate the yelling resulted in more yelling. In short, my MIL first blamed her deceased ex-husband for my wife "turning out like this" and then myself for our decision. I was called a number of names, learned that my MIL had disapproved of me from the start of the relationship, and otherwise trashed.

It went on to the point that Catherine eventually threatened to ensure my MIL never saw our daughter again if she would not be reasonable. That quieted my MIL enough for my wife to layout how the upcoming months would go. Our daughter was going up for adoption; this was non-negotiable. My MIL, having assisted in her care, could take custody if she so wished. My SIL would be a permissible alternate. Otherwise, we would pursue outside arrangements. As many predicted, my MIL opted to assume custody herself and we started that process after Thanksgiving.

The night of the argument, my MIL took Elizabeth and stayed at a hotel. We offered to pay expenses until such a time that my MIL had proper housing, but the offer was not well received. Shortly thereafter, my SIL called; in the end, she threatened to call the police if we attended the family Thanksgiving. I took my wife out to dinner for the holiday instead. I assume the same threat applies for the Christmas holiday as well, but cannot say for certain. Communication from MIL/SIL has been sparse since MIL left. From what we know, she and Elizabeth are staying with my SIL for the time being.

Moving forward, we are cooperating as much as possible to ensure the transition of legal custody over Elizabeth goes smoothly. MIL has thus far refused any and all offers of financial aid, but we are prepared to pay child support if/when the time arrives.

quote:

First, a summary. My wife [33] and I [35] had a planned child, our daughter, now 4 months. I first expressed concern when I noticed my wife did not engage with our daughter is the same way I or my MIL did. There were multiple reasons behind this, including my wife's personal beliefs about child-rearing and her expectations of what child-rearing would consist of.

loquacius posted:

this isn't actually that hard to understand

http://english.bouletcorp.com/2012/02/01/darkness/

Clocks posted:

Maybe she has like post partum depression that's manifesting itself. Why even have the baby in the first place?

Lonely Virgil posted:

Antivehicular posted:

At least the kid ended up with what appears to be the only adult who gives a poo poo about her.

Antivehicular posted:

At least the kid ended up with what appears to be the only adult who gives a poo poo about her.

Clocks posted:

Holy poo poo. I mean does he as a father give no fucks about his daughter as well? Did they even try therapy? Maybe she has like post partum depression that's manifesting itself. Why even have the baby in the first place?

Antivehicular posted:

Also, for some reason, repeatedly referring to the baby as "Elizabeth" is cracking me up. I know it's a normal name, but it sounds so formal and starched, like they're severing from a bad roommate or superfluous professional contact. I guess they probably figure they are ridding themselves of an inconvenient roommate, come to think of it.

quote:

I've worked for the same firm for 8 years now but got fired on Tuesday by my boss, he invited me to come into his office and told me in person "You're fired, you've got arthritis. I don't want arthritis here. Leave the premises now you won't be paid."

I haven't got arthritis at all, I've had to have a medical check for a certain part of my job anyway. It says I'm medically fit and proves I don't have arthritis.

I'm an IT admin for the company.... I've noticed my boss had been sending people a circular email with links to arthritis-related sites and using arthritis-sites in company time (I'm an IT admin and part of my job is blocking sites).

I know about firing at-will etc. but I want to keep my job and I'd had no conflict with the boss before now and really I want my job back, the company was a great place to work for.

How can I prove to my boss that I don't have arthritis, and do I need legal action to be taken?

I was considering hiring an attorney but don't know what to do next; please guide me on this.

Ninja edit: I'm actually a woman.... should have said 33/F if that's relevant.