Yawgmoth posted:

Great, now I have Men At Work stuck in my head.

C-SPAN Caller posted:

What's the female equivalent weird internet term for attractive well-adjusted people or is it just slut/whore/bitch and they lack any originality.

Leon Einstein posted:

Yeah, it's disgusting. I guess easy access to regular porn desensitized people to the point where they need poo poo to be taboo af to get off.

quote:

My [24M] s/o [25F] accepted her ex(of 8 years)'s invitation to his [26M] work's very exclusive & peak-swanky holiday party; I'm feeling uneasy.

I've been seeing this girl I met on Tinder for about a month and a half, now. We decided to be "exclusive" after about a month, but we haven't put any further labels on things. She's really cool, we vibe well, I can tell she's super in to me, great sex, great conversations, lots of laughing, politics align really well, and we've been very honest and open with each other about a lot of things (emotions, needs, past indiscretions, life goals, skeletons in closets, etc.) throughout our relationship.

But here's the thing: She recently (~10 months ago) got out of an 8-year-long relationship (mostly long-distance and "on-and-off," as she has described it), and her ex BF still lives in the same city as us. She describes their breakup as "messy," "mutual," and "drawn-out," and has further intimated that she felt they were "no longer in love" towards the end and that the relationship "took a big piece of her that [she] will never recover." As far as I can tell, she hasn't seen him since her and I started dating. He works somewhere REALLY COOL/IMPORTANT (don't want to "out" anyone by saying exactly where), and apparently they went to the last two years' holiday parties at his VERY COOL PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT together (while they were still dating). He extended an invitation to her again this year--she told me she interprets this as "a gesture of goodwill" and the continuance of a tradition--and she accepted. (I'll grant: Given the venue and attendee list, this is NOT a holiday party that many would decline to attend, given the option.)

I mentioned that I trust her, and I do, but I think it's reasonable for me to feel some level of apprehension about this. I think it's mostly that I don't trust the ex's motives: If he's inviting her to this holiday party, it's clear that he isn't dating anyone else (or he'd be inviting them to this SWANKY-rear end, EXCLUSIVE-rear end soiree, and, in-so-doing, inevitably impressing their pants off). Making matters worse (at least, in my head), she and her ex started dating in high school/are from the same hometown, and she is leaving a few days after the party to spend 10 days in her hometown for the holidays. (I don't even know for sure that he'll be there, too.)

I probably have nothing to worry about, but 8 years is just such a long time to date someone, and you KNOW there must still be feelings there on some level... I like this girl a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. She could even be "the one." I know I met her only very recently, but I haven't quite felt this way about anyone I've dated previously, and, from what I hear, you often have a good sense about these things straightaway.

Any advice? I'm not the "controlling"-boyfriend type, and I don't want to tell her that I don't want her to go (nor am I in a position to do so; irregardless: if she wants to go, I want her to go), or that, if she is going to go, that we absolutely must rendezvous afterwards (i.e., to ensure that she doesn't go home with her ex). But I am tempted to try and milk an assurance out of her that I needn't worry about any flames rekindling at the holiday party with her ex, or something to that effect. But, then again, we've been dating for 1.5 months and they dated for about 96 months, so what right do I have to attempt to moderate what they do?

Thanks, in advance!

TL;DR: Girl I really, really like and whom I've been seeing for 1.5 months accepted an invite from her ex-bf (whom she dated for 8 loving YEARS and "mutually" broke up with 10 months ago) to attend his employer's peak-exclusive, peak-swanky holiday party, and I'm wondering what my best move is.

Gaunab posted:

loquacius posted:

My (28/F) future SIL (32/F) is mad that I didn't ask her to be maid of honour.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I bet the first spanking for being late has already happened. Creepy as gently caress.

quote:

So context first, I had previously been in a long term relationship with my ex for 2 years during college. Long story short we broke up and I've been trying to get back into the dating scene with very limited success.

Girl #1 (J): J and I hit it off almost instantly and have gone on 2 dates so far. I really liked her a lot but she took 5 million years to reply to any texts/calls because she's a teacher. Understandable, yet annoying. I made the horrible mistake of asking for more communication, she took it personally, and I have since been ghosted. I apologized but I don't think it's likely that she'll come 'round.

Girl #2 (M): M and I have been texting back and forth with moderate success but she also takes forever to reply and has been sick with the flu for the past week so we haven't been able to meet up yet. I'm not naive enough to discount the possibility that she's making up the illness as an excuse to put off meeting but what would I even do in that case?

Girls #3 - ???: Most girls on this site I use turn me down instantly because I have pretty picky requirements. I've pretty much completely exhausted the entire list of locals who I thought would be a good fit.

As for my dating requirements, I feel like I should probably list them out and see what y'all think. Feel free to tell me if you think any of them are unrealistic!

Deal Breakers: polygamy, smoking, drugs, morbidly obese, criminal record, alcoholism or pre-alcoholism, unemployed, bad spending habits, atheists, and children of their own.

Required: Must be Christian, don't care which sect. Must be ok with sex before marriage. I do realize that the cognitive dissonance between these two ideas already narrows my pool by a LOT.

Nice to haves: hate politics, are a fellow gamer/like watching video games, like to travel, are career oriented, like to talk a lot (I love to listen!), like cuddling, like cheesy pick lines, are a major memelord, and generally have a positive attitude about life as a whole. If you are ABDL just go ahead and marry me right now, you're the one but that's not required because I know it's a very rare fetish (no kink shaming pls lol).

It is literally so freaking hard to find a girl I like with these traits that isn't already taken. Any advice? The sites I currently use are okcupid and plentyoffish, any other recommended good ones? No I don't feel like paying for eHarmony or other paid ones.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Haha I was just in the middle of posting that after looking up what ABDL meant

quote:

Required: Must be Christian, don't care which sect. Must be ok with sex before marriage. I do realize that the cognitive dissonance between these two ideas already narrows my pool by a LOT.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Okay with sex before marriage or willing to have sex before marriage? Big difference.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Pre-alcoholic? What the gently caress is pre-alcoholism?

loquacius posted:

I think it's if you have alcoholism in your family but haven't actually started drinking yet

ThePeavstenator posted:

Being raised in Wisconsin

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I was thinking that might be short for "drinks at all" or "gets drunk on occasion".

boner confessor posted:

it's for people who have problem drinking but not necessarily alcoholism - stuff like drinking to forget, drinking because of stress, regularly drinking more than 2 drinks a day or more than 6ish drinks in one drinking session, etc.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

normal people, then

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

normal people, then

Pvt.Scott posted:

E: 5 drinks at a party where you hand a friend your keys and sleep on the couch once a month? You're a raging binge drinker

Improbable Lobster posted:

Those are medical standards, not some moralizing thing

boner confessor posted:

you'd think a diaper lover would appreciate someone who drinks a lot of liquids but i dont know if you're supposed to piss in the diapers or what. maybe that's too expensive and you just take them on/off like hosed up idiot lingere

food court bailiff posted:

Also are those guidelines for what constitutes binge/problem drinking accepted worldwide? As hard as I find it to believe that only half of Americans have more than a drink a month, I wonder how that translates to a place like Italy.

Chomp8645 posted:

I feel like wine consumption alone would qualify much of the world as "pre-alcoholic" by that metric.

LethalGeek posted:

I'm glad I'm one of the cool kids who drink unlike diaper piss jesus we got here.

boner confessor posted:

kind of sort of because human bodies aren't all that different but there's no like global standard for this kind of health standard, it's just doctors sharing info. although apparently italy has super low rates of both drinking and alcoholism, which i did not expect

food court bailiff posted:

lmfao



Also are those guidelines for what constitutes binge/problem drinking accepted worldwide? As hard as I find it to believe that only half of Americans have more than a drink a month, I wonder how that translates to a place like Italy.

boner confessor posted:

if you drink 1 (or 2 if you're a man under 65) drinks a day every day you are not a problem drinker, because science can't tell if that level of alcohol consumption is bad or good for you

boner confessor posted:

not quite - only like half of americans drink at least once a month, about a quarter binge drink by the medical standards, and only like 3-5% are what most people would consider alcoholics. i'm not moralizing here, i'm an alcoholic, but 'normal' is pretty much an occasional drink with dinner, maybe, once a month. it's the minority of us who create the impression that drinking a six pack isn't problem drinking (it is) but most problem drinkers don't ever really turn into full on alkies, and a fair number of alkies remain functional and just end up fat etc.

part of what skews this also is just different age perspectives - getting hammered every friday night when you're 22 isn't nearly as much of a problem as when you're 46, so young adults tend to underestimate problem drinking. especially because you have to be a real sad case to be a late stage alkie in your early twenties

VVV yeah, this is all from a medical perspective too. if you want to drink a bunch thats up to you, anyone screening out pre-alcoholics in their dating pool is probably an unfun nerd, etc.