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Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges



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i am the bird
Mar 2, 2005

I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS
A real poo poo for shat scenario.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

I like how "Dr. Moore" signs her emails as "Christen" when she is amused and willing to change her mind just this once about extra credit

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



I've never met an academic who also didn't have a monstrosity of an email signature, consisting generally of about 90% of the mails content and attachments. I wish I could post examples but I'm sure most of you can relate.

moerketid
Jul 3, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I_u4oZqF8c

YouTube stdh. Somehow even more awkward than its written counterpart.

"I saw a guy run a 100 mile marathon, break all the bones in his feet, get kidney damage, so I decided he could teach me things. I later cold called at his house and whisked him back to live with my family for a month"

Because these are things that happen in the real world

Edit: There's a transcript for people who don't want to suffer through the video

quote:

Transcript - I first met SEAL at a 100 mile run in San Diego and I was running this race as part of a six person relay team with friends and he was running the entire race by himself. And the run was unsupported so you have to bring your own supplies. So we had, you know, we overdid it a little bit. We had a tent and we had masseuses and food. I mean we were ready for like in case we had to stay there a week. And he had a folding chair, a bottle of water and a bag of crackers. And I just thought to myself like who is this guy. I’ve never seen anything like it. And during the race I kept an eye on him and around mile 70 he weighed probably 260 pounds which is quite large for an ultra runner. He had broken all the small bones in both of his feet and had kidney damage and he finished the race. So when it was done I Googled him. He had a fascinating life story and I decided literally to cold call him. And I flew out and met with him and after sitting with him for a couple of minutes I realized that I could learn so much from a guy like this that what makes him tick and various buckets in my life would be so much better if a little bit of what he had rubbed off on me. I asked him to come live with my family and I for a month. So at the time that I invited SEAL to come live with us I had an 18-month-old son. I was married, still am. Two more kids since. And I had sold a couple of businesses. I was in a great place professionally in my life but I was also in a routine. And routines are great but they can also be a rut. And I found that I just wasn’t getting better. I was doing the same thing every day like so many of us. Wake up, go to work, come home, you know, have dinner, repeat. And I just wanted to get off autopilot. And I thought that he would be a great way to get in good shape but also to just mix up my routine and get better.

The first day that SEAL came to live with me he asked me to do – he said how many pullups can you do? And I’m not great at pullups. I did about eight. Just getting over the bar eight. And he said all right. Take 30 seconds and do it again. So 30 seconds later I got up on the bar and I did six, struggling. And he said all right, one more time. We waited 30 seconds and I barely got three or four and I was done. I mean couldn’t move my arms done. And he said all right. We’re not leaving here until you do 100 more. And I thought there’s no – well we’re going to be here for quite a long time because there’s no way that I could do 100. But I ended up doing it one at a time and he showed me, proved to me right there that there was so much more, we’re all capable of so much more than we think we are. And it was just a great lesson. It was actually the first thing that we did. It was just a great lesson that we have so much more in our reserve tank than we think we do. One of the things that SEAL said to me and it’s in the book and one thing that people have said that really resonated with them. He would say that when your mind is telling you you’re done, you’re really only 40 percent done. And he had a motto if it doesn’t suck we don’t do it. And that was his way of every day forcing us to get uncomfortable to figure out what our baseline was and what our comfort level was and just turning it upside down. The 40 percent rule maybe it’s give or take a little but look at a marathon. Most people hit the wall in a marathon at mile anywhere from 16 t0 20. And, you know, 99 percent of the people in this country that run marathons finish and they all, predominantly all of them go through this hit the wall. So where does that extra 50 or 60 percent or whatever the number is come from? I mean it’s their brain saying I’m done, I don’t want to continue but their will saying you know what? Let's get to the finish line.

moerketid has a new favorite as of 20:49 on Dec 18, 2016

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
That was terrible. I mean it's obviously just shilling for the book he mentions, but he could have at least tried to make it believable. If you get kidney damage and break the 52 bones in your feet while running a marathon, you are the last person anyone should be going to for advice.

Spalec
Apr 16, 2010
Do we have a thread for "Should be STDH but actually did happen?"

http://ca.ign.com/articles/2016/12/17/reddit-user-gets-bill-gates-for-secret-santa

Reddit does a secret Santa, one woman got Bill Gates who sent her a shitload of stuff including an Xbox 1 and Legend of Zelda Mittens. A representative of Bill Gates confirms it's legit and he's actually done it for a few years now.



Bill Gates is a pretty cool dude.

Spalec has a new favorite as of 19:23 on Dec 18, 2016

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

Ratjaculation posted:

I've never met an academic who also didn't have a monstrosity of an email signature, consisting generally of about 90% of the mails content and attachments. I wish I could post examples but I'm sure most of you can relate.

Pretty much, yeah.



hyperhazard
Poster
STDH Thread
Post Your Favorite
The Something Awful Forums
SomethingAwful.com

Confidentiality Notice: This post and its attachments (if any) contain confidential information of the poster. The information is intended only for the use by the thread readers and the original poster of this post. If you are not an intended reader of the original post (or responsible for delivering the message to such person), you are hereby notified that any review, disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance of the contents of this post is strictly prohibited. If you have received this post in error, please immediately notify Lowtax at the address shown herein and permanently delete any copies of this post (digital or paper) in your possession.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Spalec posted:

Do we have a thread for "Should be STDH but actually did happen?"

http://ca.ign.com/articles/2016/12/17/reddit-user-gets-bill-gates-for-secret-santa

Reddit does a secret Santa, one woman got Bill Gates who sent her a shitload of stuff including an Xbox 1 and Legend of Zelda Mittens. A representative of Bill Gates confirms it's legit and he's actually done it for a few years now.



Bill Gates is a pretty cool dude.

But imagine being on the other end of this and being the person who has to get a gift for Bill Gates.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Plus, Billy (if I can call you that), its not a big secret if you put a signed photo in there

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Ratjaculation posted:

But imagine being on the other end of this and being the person who has to get a gift for Bill Gates.

I'm a great gift-giver so I'd have done awesome :colbert:.

Stroop There It Is
Mar 11, 2012

:gengar::gengar::gengar::gengar::gengar:
:stroop: :gaysper: :stroop:
:gengar::gengar::gengar::gengar::gengar:

hyperhazard posted:

Pretty much, yeah.



hyperhazard
Poster
STDH Thread
Post Your Favorite
The Something Awful Forums
SomethingAwful.com

Confidentiality Notice: This post and its attachments (if any) contain confidential information of the poster. The information is intended only for the use by the thread readers and the original poster of this post. If you are not an intended reader of the original post (or responsible for delivering the message to such person), you are hereby notified that any review, disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance of the contents of this post is strictly prohibited. If you have received this post in error, please immediately notify Lowtax at the address shown herein and permanently delete any copies of this post (digital or paper) in your possession.
Tbf, the institution adds that last part to our emails (we can't remove it). :colbert:

Best,
Stroop

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



As long as you are responsible for the 2mb "Be green, don't print" .bmp

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

Ratjaculation posted:

But imagine being on the other end of this and being the person who has to get a gift for Bill Gates.

I would draw him a picture of the Peanut Butter Jelly Time banana. Because that is PRICELESS!

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Ratjaculation posted:

As long as you are responsible for the 2mb "Be green, don't print" .bmp

That usually ends up being the sole thing on the last page of the email when you print it out.

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



Spalec posted:

Do we have a thread for "Should be STDH but actually did happen?"

http://ca.ign.com/articles/2016/12/17/reddit-user-gets-bill-gates-for-secret-santa

Reddit does a secret Santa, one woman got Bill Gates who sent her a shitload of stuff including an Xbox 1 and Legend of Zelda Mittens. A representative of Bill Gates confirms it's legit and he's actually done it for a few years now.



Bill Gates is a pretty cool dude.

I love that he took her profile picture (which included her, her husband and her dog) and photoshopped himself in and then put Santa hats on everyone.

DavidAlltheTime
Feb 14, 2008

All David...all the TIME!
I think including a dog as part of the gift is over the line. Even if it is micro, soft.

TheMostFrench
Jul 12, 2009

Stop for me, it's the claw!



moerketid posted:

YouTube stdh. Somehow even more awkward than its written counterpart.

"I saw a guy run a 100 mile marathon, break all the bones in his feet, get kidney damage, so I decided he could teach me things. I later cold called at his house and whisked him back to live with my family for a month"

Because these are things that happen in the real world

Edit: There's a transcript for people who don't want to suffer through the video

This STDH bothers me because the idea of a guy who can already do pullups being encouraged to do a few pullups every 30 seconds, until they make 100, is believable on its own. The whole idea of having to qualify it with 'I met a SEAL on a 100 mile marathon' part is just so unnecessary.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!
My dad taught me this incredible secret when I was 6.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

The puppetmaster defense is so much worse than having just said "I thought 'gently caress it, I'ma go for it.'"

AARO
Mar 9, 2005

by Lowtax

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Einstein actually wrote that to a child, though.

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??

AlbieQuirky posted:

Einstein actually wrote that to a child, though.

Awww :3:

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

Another twitter chain one.

https://twitter.com/notjerryclayton/status/810273956708098048

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
I swear I've seen that exact twitter chain before. Are people recycling their longform twitter STDH now?

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
Of course he had to throw in the "and they gave me free stuff for absolutely no reason" part. Even if the original was real it makes the guy look like a voyeuristic creep staring at two people making out at work. Don't you have anything better to do?

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010


OK but why? People tell other people they want to smash their pee bits against theirs all the time all over the planet why the gently caress would I need to know about a particular instance?

Tired Moritz
Mar 25, 2012

wish Lowtax would get tired of YOUR POSTS

(n o i c e)
how bored are you would you tweet about some strangers' love life? not even someone you know or a celeb, just some girl on the internet.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
In the replies
https://twitter.com/Julian_Epp/status/811059114570878976

Lol apparently there are already "reporters" asking him to dm them to publish that crappy stdh

Fathis Munk has a new favorite as of 11:07 on Dec 20, 2016

Jonas Albrecht
Jun 7, 2012


Goddamn.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Fathis Munk posted:

In the replies
https://twitter.com/Julian_Epp/status/811059114570878976

Pol apparently there are already "reporters" asking him to dm them to publish that crappy stdh

What does role-playing games have to do with this :confused:

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion

Fathis Munk posted:

In the replies
https://twitter.com/Julian_Epp/status/811059114570878976

Pol apparently there are already "reporters" asking him to dm them to publish that crappy stdh

Is he the guy from the footie pajama ads?

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

Jerry Cotton posted:

What does role-playing games have to do with this :confused:

They contain about as much truth as that story. Someone with such a vivid imagination has to be a good DM.

I love the comments on that tweet, split between the "this didn't happen" and the "wow this is the most beautiful thing ever" crowd.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Ahaha that Julian Epp dude shouldn't be calling the kettle black.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Jerry Cotton posted:

What does role-playing games have to do with this :confused:

Fathis Munk posted:

They contain about as much truth as that story. Someone with such a vivid imagination has to be a good DM.

DM means "Direct Message" on Twitter.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
imma let you in on a secret, it was a joke! :ssh:

Tired Moritz
Mar 25, 2012

wish Lowtax would get tired of YOUR POSTS

(n o i c e)
dont lie on the internet!!! jk

goose willis
Jun 14, 2015

Get ready for teh wacky laughz0r!

Bunni-kat
May 25, 2010

Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

It's from Alabama. Don't they condone sister-sexing?

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FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Avenging_Mikon posted:

It's from Alabama. Don't they condone sister-sexing?

As long as the sister is of the same race.

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