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Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Haier posted:

Earlier this year when I was in the US, I lived near a very popular university for Chinese. I used People Nearby and some Beijing girl added me. About a week later she started sending out mass-messages about how people need to get together to protest the fact that the university Taiwan club was having an all-welcome party in one of the student halls. She had photos of herself tearing down the posters, with the caption "Taiwan belongs to China!!!" and a bunch of the bloody knife and skull emoticons. There was no logic to any of it, because she had photos of the posters on her Wechat album and it basically said "Taiwan Student Club Party." Nothing political, just young kids wanting to hang out together. I guess the triggering thing was the Taiwanese flag in the corner of the poster. She daily posted updates about how this party must be stopped and Taiwan belongs to China. The day of the party came and went and there were no updates again, because I am 99% sure her and her friends stood scowling from 300 meters away and did nothing else.

If I were a student there, I'd have reported her to somebody for being a hateful piece of poo poo and used the photos of her tearing down the posters, but I wouldn't even know the first place to start on a campus that big.

Edit: The girl was the typical 1%er and obviously daddy's corruption money was treating her very well.

I don't think your typical university would want to get on the bad side of their cash cows for the sake of something like parties, free speech, or breaking the law.

ladron posted:

wow, every woman that I've ever dated has secretly been Chinese

I walked into that one.

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Stringent
Dec 22, 2004


image text goes here

ladron posted:

wow, every woman that I've ever dated has secretly been Chinese

drat, you too huh?

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Western universities are huge hotbeds of official and "useful idiots" chinese propaganda and spying. If you're a student club or just student remotely connected to anything to do with Taiwan or tibet or anything that hurts chinese feelings they keep tabs on you, attempt to disrupt your activities and will outright campaign to get you and your group banned for being racist and anti-chinese.

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Blistex posted:

I don't think your typical university would want to get on the bad side of their cash cows for the sake of something like parties, free speech, or breaking the law.

The University of Toronto regularly has Chinese New Money Luxury Cars towed for illegal parking and its loving fantastic

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Fojar38 posted:

The University of Toronto regularly has Chinese New Money Luxury Cars towed for illegal parking and its loving fantastic

That is RACIST. In BC the provincial insurance system was saying it needs to raise premiums on luxury super cars because claims from them keep going up and they're expensive as gently caress to repair and the people who own them tend to crash the gently caress out of them. People were actually saying it was a racist attack against the Chinese and a new head-tax.

Filthy rich new-money mainland immigrants love to trot out all the poor as poo poo and horribly treated chinese that risked everything to come to BC to build a better life than they had in china and died in droves building the railway or toiling away in sweat shops to finally over generations build a decent life for them selves and fight against racism and discrimination. It's really gross.

Baronjutter fucked around with this message at 05:11 on Dec 20, 2016

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:
I'm behind in my lurking by over 200 posts, so haven't posted about the latest Haier tomfoolery or how I've gotten into the local Chinese-language news in Hong Kong (again). However, I had to share this. It's student work from upper primary students where they have to review a book for World Book Day. I've bolded the usual bits.

Student 1 posted:

After I finished the book, I learnt that China is a united multi-ethnic state. Although the Han Chinese like us represent ninety-two percent of the whole population, each ethnic group has its own long history and unique culture. Their traditions should be highly respected. Also, they should have the right to maintain and develop their own traditions.

Besides, I realized that Chinese culture has a history of five thousand years. During this time, a great variety of unique, traditional festivals has evolved. Despite China’s many changes, some important festivals remain firmly established as part of its colorful culture. If we observe or even participate in these colorful festivals, we can learn how others lived in the past, so as to learn more about the long history and rich variety of Chinese culture.

argh

Student 2 posted:

We can enjoy moon cakes in the Festival but why do we have moon cakes for the Festival? This is because during Yuan Dynasty, there were a lot of people from Han Dynasty hated the ruling by Yuan Dynasty. Therefore, they had tried to overthrow the Yuan Dynasty. In the meantime, people from Han Dynasty did not want the soldiers of Yuan Dynasty knew what they communicated.

Ok this one is forgivable because he's just gotten his historical facts mixed up and he's a good kid who is trying hard to write in English but still the thought of time-travelling Han Dynasty soldiers is pretty hilarious. An assassination plot ... from the past! Couldn't be more nonsensical than most Chinese historical movies.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

The Japanese have attempted to use time travel to destroy China's unity!! The only thing strong enough to defeat china's glorious history is china's history. In the end all the waring chinese time periods join together in unity and harmony and destroy the japanese threat.

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Baronjutter posted:

The Japanese have attempted to use time travel to destroy China's unity!! The only thing strong enough to defeat china's glorious history is china's history. In the end all the waring chinese time periods join together in unity and harmony and destroy the japanese threat.

It would be amazing to somehow know the average number of times (per capita) Chinese citizens think about Japan, and the number of time the Japanese think about China. Then post it and soak in all the butthurt it would cause.

:china: "Why do you never think of us?"
:japan: "No why!"

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2016/12/19/china-chokes-smog-so-bad-planes-cant-land/95604308/

quote:

"Off-the-charts air pollution chokes many places in #Hebei province, w/ PM2.5 levels exceeding 1,000 in its capital city of #Shijiazhuang," the People's Daily tweeted. Some coal and other industrial plants in Hebei were ordered to shut down until the smog eases.

Tianjin and other cities already list smog as a meteorological disaster in local regulations, but the State Council has yet to issue a similar national regulation.

“'Meteorological disasters' are caused by natural conditions and cannot be controlled by human activity," Zhang Zitai, a Fudan University professor, told Legal Daily. "Smog, on the other hand, is mainly caused by human activity. Thus the plan to list it as a meteorological disaster not only goes against science, it will also create an excuse for polluters to escape their culpability."



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hcSpSC8T0M

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN93Jz7N4Xw

"LANGUAGE RAPISTS"

slave to my cravings
Mar 1, 2007

Got my mind on doritos and doritos on my mind.
I always thought LA smog was bad whenever I went there, but god drat, China always looking to one-up America. I suppose any rapidly industrializing nation goes through this phase of pollute until it kills people but the world has never seen it done to a billion people before.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

slave to my cravings posted:

I always thought LA smog was bad whenever I went there, but god drat, China always looking to one-up America. I suppose any rapidly industrializing nation goes through this phase of pollute until it kills people but the world has never seen it done to a billion people before.
Los Angeles right now is a high of 53 AQI, and Beijing is showing upper 300s to 500s at the moment. I've regularly compared LA since I've been here, because it's the US's "epitome" of a smoggy city, and I think the highest I saw it was in the upper 90s at the end of summer. I'm in Shenzhen where it doesn't get that bad, and we're in 150.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

next video: Is it hard to make friends with benefits in China?

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

Our family dog had mysterious oral bleeding and when my parents took her into the vet they said she was too old to be operated on so they just prescribed Yunnan Biao Herbal Supplements. Is this common/should I be worried about my dog getting tiger boner medicine?

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

next video: Is it hard to marry a giant horse gum woman and spend all my money on an apartment that's falling apart?

ftfy

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Nanomashoes posted:

Our family dog had mysterious oral bleeding and when my parents took her into the vet they said she was too old to be operated on so they just prescribed Yunnan Biao Herbal Supplements. Is this common/should I be worried about my dog getting tiger boner medicine?
No, it just means your dog is getting a very special dose of heavy metals from some useless pills that were prescribed so the vet could save face at being unable to do anything, either due to not having knowledge, not caring, or actually being unable to do anything. Just like when humans go to the clinic and get the handful of mystery pills in the 5 RMB bags.

He already did that video and it was hilarious.
I've never really watched his other videos, but I skimmed a few and he uses his wife a lot in them for arbitrary reasons. He says he has friends in China, but I am starting to doubt this and I think he sits at home with his wife and baby and house falling apart and doesn't know what else to do.

------------
Is anyone else having Chinese tell them that after Spring Festival we will all be one year older? People have told me I will be 33 from Spring Festival and I have to tell them my birthday is not near that time, so I will absolutely not be 33. I thought the trope was they were good at math or something.

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

The mysterious part to me is both my parents and the vet are white, American.

E_P
Feb 22, 2003

I cannot comment because I am not a vet.

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

Haier posted:


He already did that video and it was hilarious.


:thejoke:

mrbotus
Apr 7, 2009

Patron of the Pants

slave to my cravings posted:

I always thought LA smog was bad whenever I went there, but god drat, China always looking to one-up America. I suppose any rapidly industrializing nation goes through this phase of pollute until it kills people but the world has never seen it done to a billion people before.

Didn't it used to be really bad in the 70's? Now it's not so bad, especially compared to China.

By the by, isn't the cancer rate in China soaring lately?

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Nanomashoes posted:

Our family dog had mysterious oral bleeding and when my parents took her into the vet they said she was too old to be operated on so they just prescribed Yunnan Biao Herbal Supplements. Is this common/should I be worried about my dog getting tiger boner medicine?

They're giving the impression that they're doing something, when they can't do anything. And ofc they're making money off of your dog. At best it's a placebo that will do nothing for the animal. Otoh, it could mean that your dog will walk around with a magnificient errection.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

JaucheCharly posted:

They're giving the impression that they're doing something, when they can't do anything. And ofc they're making money off of your dog. At best it's a placebo that will do nothing for the animal. Otoh, it could mean that your dog will walk around with a magnificient errection.

Then Chinese people will want to eat his dog?

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...t-a7350186.html

quote:

A deadly drug, which has been banned from the battlefield under the Chemical Weapons Convention and is being blamed for a spate of drug overdoses in the United States, can be easily bought over the internet for just a few thousand pounds, it has been revealed.

Twelve Chinese online businesses said they could export carfentanil – a synthetic opioid which is being cut with heroin and other illicit drugs - at just $2,750 (£2,233) to the US, Canada and various European countries including the UK, an investigation by the Associated Press found.

Carfentanil is the most potent commercial opioid in the world, according to the US Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA).

Its chemically similar cousin fentanyl is up to 50 times stronger the heroin and carfentanil is 100 times stronger than fentanyl itself.

Before being discovered by drug dealers, carfentanil and substances like it were viewed as chemical weapons. Assistant Secretary of Defence for Nuclear, Chemical and Biological Defence Programmes between 2009 and 2014 described the drug as a “weapon”, adding “companies shouldn't be just sending it to anybody”.

The drug was first developed in the 1970s and its only official use is to sedate large zoo animals such as elephants. Just 10mg of carfentanil will sedate a 5000kg elephant.

In 2014, US authorities seized 3.7kg of fentanyl. This year, until mid-July, they have seized 134.1kg, according to US Customs and Border Protection data obtained by the AP. Fentanyl is the most frequently seized synthetic opioid, US Customs reports.

In China, however, carfentanil is not a controlled substance and it can be manufactured legally and sold openly online.

"We can supply carfentanil . for sure," a saleswoman from Jilin Tely Import and Export Co told the AP in an email in September. "And it's one of our hot sales product."

Vendors said they lie on customs forms, guaranteed delivery to countries where carfentanil is banned and volunteered strategic advice on sneaking packages past law enforcement.

At a chemicals industry conference in Shanghai last month, several vendors said they would be able to supply carfentanil and some also recommended sending the drugs via EMS, the express mail service of state-owned China Postal Express & Logistics Co.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
I have a lot of elephants to sedate.

big cock Salaryman posted:

So I won't go into detail but a while ago I ended up obtaining a few mg of the king of all opioids, pure Carfentanil off I'm sure you know where.
Obviously knowing how dangerous this drug is I attempted to be careful about handling it once it arrived, although as I soon discovered, I wasn't careful enough.
It arrived early one morning and I was quite amazed it made it to Australia, as we are supposed to have the strictest border security in the world. I was very excited as the amount I had ordered would surely satisfy my opioid cravings for many lifetimes. I immediately went to my local pharmacy and purchased latex gloves and a needle-less syringe. I got dressed in long pants and a long sleeved hoodie, put on my hairnet and glasses, tied multiple scarfs and bandanas around my face and you know essentially got into my ghetto breaking bad attire.
I very carefully opened the letter and pulled out the bag, nearly shaking with excitement and anxiety. I measured out 10mg and diluted it into 1l of water, which should in theory give me 10ug's per ml of water. I closed up the bottle and put everything away and went to sort out my morning activities before I was going to test it.
About 30 minutes later (before trying it!) I was in a conversation with my landlord when I realised I felt sick and was noticeably having multiple heart palpitations. I excused myself and walked back to my apartment, feeling quite faint. I sat down for a minute evaluating what the gently caress had happened. How did I manage to do this? Was my makeshift hazmat suit not enough to shield me from this stuff? I collapsed onto my bed.
I lay there realising I had nearly lost the ability to move. My heart was beating extremely slow (40-50bpm in a dude with a normal pulse of 100), it felt like it was going to fail any minute. It was a struggle to breathe, I had to remind myself every 30 seconds or so to do it while I was desperately fighting the extremely intense nod. I could finally see why they sedate elephants with this poo poo, this wasn't heroin, I was completely paralysed.
I lay there for about 4 hours without even being able to lift my head in a state of panicked tranquility. It felt amazing but I knew if I passed out I would surely stop breathing and the intense slow heart rate and skipped beats made my chest very very uncomfortable. I wanted to call an ambulance but I legitimately couldn't move my arms. poo poo, I could barely breathe.
It was about this time my friend entered the room as I had left the door open in hopes someone would find me in case I legitimately overdosed. He tried talking to me but all I could manage to say was a mumble about how sick I felt. He knew I had ordered this stuff but he had no idea what it was so I think he just assumed I was tripping balls. He just said I'll close your door so no one steals your poo poo and left. Great, now no chance of rescue.
Another few hours went by when I finally gained control of my neck muscles and managed to prop my head against the wall. It continued on like this for nearly 8 more hours, slowly regaining control of my body until I could sit up and move around. I couldn't stand up at all without becoming extremely dizzy and collapsing back onto my bed so I kinda just leaned over the side of it waiting to throw up but it never ended up happening.
It legitimately took about a day before I regained my full motor skills and 3 days before my heart rate was back to normal. Its been a month now and the bottle of solution is still in my fridge, having never been tried as I know all I need to do to dose myself is simply breathe near it.
On the bright side this has put me off opiates for a while. But seriously guys, I'm sure you know this but don't go near Carfentanil without a barrel of Narcan and a legitimate loving spacesuit on. Only elephants can have fun with this stuff.

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007



So these dodgy Chinese labs where they're cranking out RCs and "legal highs" and terror-opioids. Are any of them just manufacturing, like, straight up LSD, and if not, why not?

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
Probably a combination of whats legal in china and what the market is like. LSD in particular is both hard to synthesise and also degrades quickly. Why make LSD when you can just make some other drug that has similar effects but is easier to make. The fact that its incredibly easy to OD on and lose limbs/life https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bromo-DragonFLY are just a side effect that the manufacturer doesn't care about

MDMA was manufactured heavily in china until the chinese government banned one of the precursors leading to a global shortage a few years back iirc

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
Isn't North Korea one of the world's premier supplier of meth?

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
You'd have to be a suicidal moron to try to do some homebrew prep of a fentanyl solution using pure fentanyl purchased online from loving China. Everything about that is Russian roulette.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

JaucheCharly posted:

Isn't North Korea one of the world's premier supplier of meth?

I don't think meth is profitable enough to be a big exporter but almost every crippled state that's adjacent to a large market has a little meth empire going on (Mexico, Burma, North Korea, and middle America all have a rep).

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Sheep-Goats posted:

You'd have to be a suicidal moron to try to do some homebrew prep of a fentanyl solution using pure fentanyl purchased online from loving China. Everything about that is Russian roulette.

Nah you'll be fine don't worry. I did it once with some dudes - a tcc poster probably

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
north korea share a border with the largest population in the world i'm not sure they need to go through the trouble to export globally

The Great Autismo!
Mar 3, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

lmao

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
Handy gif about bombs being dropped by some peoples. China 5000 bombs years of American trade.

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I had no idea the US bombed the poo poo out of China.

P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007

oohhboy posted:

I had no idea the US bombed the poo poo out of China.

We were bombing the Japanese devils occupying China, via General Chennault and the Flying Tigers. Chiang kept asking us to do more of it but Stilwell wanted to prioritize operations in Burma instead.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007



Sheep-Goats posted:

I don't think meth is profitable enough to be a big exporter but almost every crippled state that's adjacent to a large market has a little meth empire going on (Mexico, Burma, North Korea, and middle America all have a rep).
Malaysia and Thailand are also very big on the stuff

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
its cool that the Philippines president is allowing extrajudicial killings of drug dealers while being a fentanyl fiend

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


One day i hope i can administer a drug empire from the executive branch of government of my own private kingdom

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Darkest Auer
Dec 30, 2006

They're silly

Ramrod XTreme

Haier posted:

You live until 95 and then go out like this? WTF

The relatives got tired of waiting for the inheritance.

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