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you jerk off in bed just before going to sleep, where does your sticky shame go? into a sock you've just taken off? goons
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:36 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:27 |
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Sad to see this topic is rubbing goons the wrong way. It'd be bedder to put this to rest before you all end up feeling like a jerk off.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:38 |
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I don't care where you masturbate, post funny storiesquote:Me [31 M] with my wife [30 F] for seven years, "slow danced" with a "drunk guy friend" to OUR Valentines Day Spotify Sex Playlist last night. Tears In A Vial fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Dec 20, 2016 |
# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:39 |
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I Just stretch out my foreskin and store it in there
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:39 |
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My [27 M] wife [26 F] of 6 years is always making us late, usually because she's getting ready.quote:It's going on right now. It's 4:30, and we're supposed to see a movie that starts at 4:35. The movie theater is 10 minutes away. She is still in the bathroom getting ready. She doesn't have a very good concept of time, I think - we will have to leave in 5 minutes, for example, and she will start the flat iron to straighten her hair. It's not as if she doesn't start getting ready early enough. She started about an hour ago. Women, am I right, fellas? *is a 80s standup comedian, makes millions* I really like "It's going on right now."
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:40 |
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That poo poo is crazy annoying though
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:41 |
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WampaLord posted:My [27 M] wife [26 F] of 6 years is always making us late, usually because she's getting ready.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:44 |
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please knock Mom! posted:I Just stretch out my foreskin and store it in there I defer to your obvious expertise.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:44 |
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Agreed. My husband does that too. I have found that if I just walk out the door and start the car he gets the message.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:45 |
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My wife does that same exact poo poo and it drives me up the wall. It does not matter if she has 30 mins or 3 hours to get ready, she will take enough time to be 20 minutes late.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:47 |
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Habitual lateness is annoying, I agree with the guy, my brother's fiancee does the same poo poo all the time.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:47 |
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brakeless posted:you jerk off in bed just before going to sleep, where does your sticky shame go? into a sock you've just taken off? No, the boxer briefs I wore that day that are about to be tossed in the laundry. I sleep nude, hth
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:49 |
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I have a friend who will always, without fail, be 25 minutes later to anything. Her hair is always done though, great, we're going hiking so...
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:50 |
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My parents were the opposite. If we were not in the car ready to go fifteen minutes earlier than would be necessary, we were either left behind or scolded for being so slow. I think I was only late for one school function ever, and its because the car broke down and I had to walk the rest of the way. Overall I'd say it was probably beneficial because I haven't been late for work a single time in five years of employment.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:51 |
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She would fit right in in Latin America. Cultures with different concepts of "on time" is really interesting to me.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:53 |
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Wasn't there a girl in a previous story that took like 4 hours to get ready every day?
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:56 |
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Yeah that was the girl with an unhealthy relationship with makeup. She hadn't taken it off in years.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:57 |
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never got people that couldn't be on time. it's real lovely to other people.
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:58 |
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Nazzadan posted:Wasn't there a girl in a previous story that took like 4 hours to get ready every day? I do recall a previous story about a girl that took several hours to do anything because she absolutely had to apply a new layer of makeup whenever she did anything, and had it rub off onto all her clothes and pillows and hadn't washed her face in years
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# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:58 |
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Yeah but that was different, that girl clearly had some serious mental issues and proper ocd. Sounds like this girl is just annoying
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:04 |
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Nazzadan posted:Wasn't there a girl in a previous story that took like 4 hours to get ready every day? Yes, here is the link to that story
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:04 |
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Time is an arbitrary construct
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:08 |
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Fullhouse posted:I do recall a previous story about a girl that took several hours to do anything because she absolutely had to apply a new layer of makeup whenever she did anything, and had it rub off onto all her clothes and pillows and hadn't washed her face in years What would that even do to your skin?
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:28 |
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Fullhouse posted:it's probably preferable to jerking off on to the sleeping person come at me, bro fruit on the bottom posted:What would that even do to your skin? horrible things, but I think you've already realized as much. I suppose once your skin has been drowning in makeup for years it's so legit nasty that there isn't any choice but to keep slathering it on
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:30 |
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Play posted:come on me, bro
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:31 |
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:33 |
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I'm one of those jerks who got in trouble for being 'late' in the military a few times so now I'm an hour really to everything, no matter what
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:34 |
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Yeah I knew that was the joke, I was just making sure that you knew the joke you were making.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:34 |
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Fullhouse posted:it's probably preferable to jerking off on to the sleeping person ♫♫ Watch me crank it Watch me roll Watch me crank that Soulja Boy Then super man that hoe ♫♫
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:39 |
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quote:My (23f) boyfriend (27m) masturbated to pictures of coworkers and lied about it.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 00:57 |
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Wasn't this a movie?quote:My [24F] father [60M] cheated on my mother [57F] with my MIL [40F]. My husband [23M] and I don't know what to do.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:00 |
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If she hadn't banned porn he wouldn't have moved to coworker's Instagram pages. Partners who try to police masturbation are a loving giant red flag.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:01 |
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remigious posted:Agreed. My husband does that too. I have found that if I just walk out the door and start the car he gets the message. You walk out and start the car while he's in the middle of a five knuckle shuffle??
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:05 |
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Gaunab posted:My (23f) boyfriend (27m) masturbated to pictures of coworkers and lied about it. If just TALKING about porn makes you cry, you're the one with the problem, not him. My opinion is heavily biased because I'm a guy, but expecting a man in his 20's to not watch porn and masturbate is one of the dumbest things ever.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:10 |
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I have friends for whom the concept of time is a nebulous and ethereal creature. They just don't operate by the arbitrary structures created by a clock, and frankly, it's kind of fascinating. What you do, is tell them to be ready to go or meet up at 3, when you actually need to be somewhere around 5-5:30. Usually works out. Very rarely they will arrive sharply at 3 and be like wtf? And you just hang out for a bit.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:20 |
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quote:My [29F] husband [40M] spends a LOT of time on Second Life and his ingame girlfriend [30sF].
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:25 |
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I too think porn policing is dumb, but if you make a promise to your partner you should keep it???
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:37 |
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Technically, that's not porn. Promise kept imho.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:41 |
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zakharov posted:I too think porn policing is dumb, but if you make a promise to your partner you should keep it??? Yes, but she forced him into an unnatural situation. Really I guess it's his fault for not leaving when she first said "No more porn." He did agree to it. Really the only type of men who would want to be with her are those few men who already don't look at porn on their own.
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:41 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:27 |
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zakharov posted:I too think porn policing is dumb, but if you make a promise to your partner you should keep it??? What if it's super inconvenient though?
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# ? Dec 21, 2016 01:42 |