quote:

Me [31 M] with my wife [30 F] for seven years, "slow danced" with a "drunk guy friend" to OUR Valentines Day Spotify Sex Playlist last night.

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It's going on right now. It's 4:30, and we're supposed to see a movie that starts at 4:35. The movie theater is 10 minutes away. She is still in the bathroom getting ready. She doesn't have a very good concept of time, I think - we will have to leave in 5 minutes, for example, and she will start the flat iron to straighten her hair. It's not as if she doesn't start getting ready early enough. She started about an hour ago.

She will sometimes use the fact that I'm on the computer or watching TV to excuse why she's still getting ready, but I'm only doing that because I have nothing else to do. If I bring up that she makes us late, she says I'm lucky she likes to look nice (and I do like that she looks nice, but not when it makes us consistently late, and I think she's perfect whether she's in sweats or a fancy dress). If I tell her she has 15 minutes or I'm leaving without her because we're supposed to run an errand I can technically run alone, she will rush to get ready and we WILL leave on time, but she will be upset with me and blame me for her not looking 100% put-together.

It's enough of a problem that friends and family will tell us something starts at 2 PM, for example, when it really starts at 3 PM so we won't be late. I have told her things start earlier than they do to get her out of the house on time but she's onto me and assumes I'm making it up, which makes her take even longer since she feels like she has extra time.

She usually has an excuse like "previews are still going" (I LIKE previews) or "they probably haven't started eating yet" or "we'll make up for it by not being stuck in traffic" etc.

I'm not sure how to work on this.

EDIT: Most of the comments are about stuff I have already addressed:
I do leave anyway sometimes
I have told her how I feel about this
I do tell her I'm leaving in _____ minutes without her
I have tried telling her something starts earlier than it does
tl;dr: Wife is always making us late. I mean always.

WampaLord posted:

My [27 M] wife [26 F] of 6 years is always making us late, usually because she's getting ready.

quote:

(I LIKE previews)

please knock Mom! posted:

I Just stretch out my foreskin and store it in there

brakeless posted:

you jerk off in bed just before going to sleep, where does your sticky shame go? into a sock you've just taken off?

goons

Nazzadan posted:

Wasn't there a girl in a previous story that took like 4 hours to get ready every day?

Nazzadan posted:

Wasn't there a girl in a previous story that took like 4 hours to get ready every day?

Fullhouse posted:

I do recall a previous story about a girl that took several hours to do anything because she absolutely had to apply a new layer of makeup whenever she did anything, and had it rub off onto all her clothes and pillows and hadn't washed her face in years

Fullhouse posted:

it's probably preferable to jerking off on to the sleeping person

fruit on the bottom posted:

What would that even do to your skin?

Play posted:

come on me, bro

Fullhouse posted:

it's probably preferable to jerking off on to the sleeping person

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My (23f) boyfriend (27m) masturbated to pictures of coworkers and lied about it.

I'm torn between leaving him and giving him a second chance because he seems like he's genuinely sorry and wants to work things out. He's already made efforts to show me he's willing but it's still so fresh and I'm completely hurt over it, I feel like our relationship has been based on lies and I feel betrayed. I can't figure out if the trust can be regained but he says he'll do anything to get it back.

Some important details... I have a history of being cheated on and repeatedly lied to for 4 years with my abusive ex. He knew about this. He listened to me open up to him about it and he validated my feelings and made me feel safe.

We talked about porn use early on in our relationship after it came up and my reaction was anxiety and tears which even I didn't expect. He told me he would stop using it for me because it bothered me so much. I assured him that if it was a problem, that he could tell me and we could talk about it or come up with a compromise. He said he'll be fine, he doesn't need it or use it that much, but if it was a problem he'd tell me. I also told him that I would send him pictures if he wanted, and I did, but not every day and he never asked for more. If anything I felt like I was annoying him by sending them because he never asked.

He never brought it up again and I was under the impression that he really did stop and things were fine. This has literally been the only issue, besides that our relationship has been great and I even felt great about the fact that we were able to discuss things and resolve them together.

Nope. It's been a lie, he never stopped and whenever I did ask him about it he said he had. I had asked him at least 3 times since our talk and the answer was always "I haven't." This week-end I found out that not only had he not cut it out, but that he uses his coworkers' Instagram pages to jerk off. He admitted it and again, I was in tears and this time on the verge of a panic attack. These were girls he saw every single at his old iob just a few months ago. Sure, he doesn't work there anymore but that doesn't make it any better. He did it while we were together and he continued to do it after our talk and him agreeing to the boundary I had.

I feel completely betrayed and disgusted and shocked. I don't know. We've been texting and talking about it and we're supposed to meet. He says he lied about it because he wasn't able to cut it out and thought any amount would cause me to leave him. That, to me, is selfish but I can see that he did it because he felt as though he'd failed and wanted to keep our relationship because he loves me. But it's still not okay and I'm not okay at all. I deleted my instagram because I started obsessively looking at all the hot girls he followed after and comparing myself to them.

It changed my perception of him and our relationship. My sex drive is normally really high and when I'm in a loving, monogamous relationship like this, my sexuality becomes attached to my partner and I truly only have eyes for him. I know people are different so I told him this and I told him I don't engage in porn, and if he wants someone who's okay with it, there are plenty of other women who would accept it.

So now I'm torn because he says he's willing to completely stop this time around and do anything to regain my trust. He unfollowed all the girls he looked at that way (I didn't ask, he just told me that he did) and he started reading up on threads on /r/relationships to get a different perspective. He said he'll be open and honest from here on out and wants to move past this together. He even asked me to sit next to him while he deleted all the porn and pictures from his computer and hard drives. Again, he did this willingly without my asking.

I love him a lot and I want so badly to go back to the way things were but I feel depressed and constantly anxious and I don't know how to move forward. I wish he would've never lied so we could've discussed this months ago.

TLDR; Boyfriend broke a boundary we previously discussed, lied about it until I asked, now wants to work it out and wants a second chance. I'm torn

quote:

My [24F] father [60M] cheated on my mother [57F] with my MIL [40F]. My husband [23M] and I don't know what to do.

We need some advice. We ourselfs don't know all the details so what it is this text is what we both know. Both so many loving lies have been thrown around these past 2 days.

My father Harold had sex with my MIL Samantha. Samantha was single and Harold was married to my mother. They have been having an affair for the past year. My husband and I met in college and we introduced them to each other. It all came out because my mother came across email sexual conversation between the two. He did not log out and she went to focus on some work. She saw an email that caught her eye and she saw a whole bunch of nudes and sexual pictures they took of each other.

TL;DR:My husband and I have no idea how to handle this and would like some advice

Gaunab posted:

remigious posted:

Agreed. My husband does that too. I have found that if I just walk out the door and start the car he gets the message.

Gaunab posted:

My (23f) boyfriend (27m) masturbated to pictures of coworkers and lied about it.

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My [29F] husband [40M] spends a LOT of time on Second Life and his ingame girlfriend [30sF].


For those who don't know, Second Life is like a kind of simulator game where you can do all sorts of stuff virtually. It's literally like you're living a Second Life, because you can do everything you can do there in real life - except of course, fly. I've realised he spends a really long time on his computer, so today while I was sitting next to him I decided to take a look.

He's been roleplaying in this medieval fantasy land though I'm not sure the name. His avatar looks like himself, except dressed in obviously medieval armour and he had the title of a knight. I asked him about it and he started going on about his character's history. I'm not a roleplayer myself so I didn't find it all too interesting but I know people do. Still, his character had one hell of a backstory and I could tell he'd worked hard and was excited talking to me about it so I let him explain.

He then told me he has a girlfriend in the game. He said it didn't count as cheating though because it's his characters relationship and not his. I disagree, he's controlling his character so in some way, it's also his relationship. I didn't yell at him straight away about it because I wanted to hear him out, PLUS I kind of wanted to talk to him like adults and explain what I was thinking rationally.

They do not emote anything sexual, from what he's told me, but of course because their characters are together, they sometimes emote cuddling or kissing. This pisses me off and makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable and I let him know. He says he isn't just about to remove her from his life because they've become reasonably close. Erm, what? No, not okay..

They've skyped a few times and talk a LOT. He's got a job, but when he isn't working he's at home and 80% of the time, on his PC. He's told me he loves me, and doesn't have ANY feelings for her and while I do believe this, I still feel like having such a close relationship with someone online is wrong. I know he values our relationship over his online one, but I just wish it didn't exist.

So after we spoke I told him my concerns and how I just felt a bit second-place after hearing about his new girlfriend.

He told me the following things.

-They've been together IC for about half a year.

-They've skyped a few times, but platonically.

-He values her friendship but will always put me first, except when I apparently ask him to stop because that's not gonna happen.

-He sees his character as his child and a completely different person to him, and therefore will not end the relationship unless his character has a reason to.

I've learnt from this that my husband clearly takes roleplay very seriously. I know I'm kind of stuck in an awkward position because I have nothing to do. He isn't going to end his IC relationship, no matter how hard I try. I know he loves me, and I know he puts me first. He does come to me when I ask, and he does spend time with me if I ask for it. I just think he'd much rather prefer the PC. Also, we have a really good sex life and I imagine us to be very in love. Is this as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be? How would you guys react?

tl;dr - Husband has a roleplay girlfriend, and he won't end the relationship no matter how hard I try. He says he loves me and doesn't feel for her whatsoever, they're just friends. He says he'll always put me first, just he values their character's relationships because they're important to them. Help me.

zakharov posted:

I too think porn policing is dumb, but if you make a promise to your partner you should keep it???

zakharov posted:

I too think porn policing is dumb, but if you make a promise to your partner you should keep it???