Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Lazer Monkey posted:

So chatting to people via tan tan is sexual harassment, good to know..

Also some china-thread lurkers chiming in on the blatant and monstrous racism at every turn, wow.

I mean, let's be fair and clear here, let's not twist ourselves around trying to stay PC: we obviously don't see the whole chatlogs that Haier has with these women, but if any of the dick pics were unsolicited then that's sexual harassment.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 07:35

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# ? May 13, 2024 22:50

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

No dicks pic, but there is a gross story involving a vacuum cleaner and a boil.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 07:40

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

Tub girl

# ? Dec 23, 2016 07:40

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Are there lotsa Chinese chefs doing actually interesting things with they food?

Not that I've seen in my time in the Mainland (can't say for HK or TW, or other goon experiences). Every non-Chinese restaurant that I've been to (that wasn't a crappy chain restaurant) was owned or run by someone from X country and married to a Chinese and the menu was very non-Chinese. They often had the owner or his/her family doing much of the cooking because I guess it wasn't possible to train other (local) people to do it to the standard they wanted to present. Most people here still think all North American and European people eat sandwiches for lunch and pizza for dinner, seven days per week. I feel like if someone took something Chinese and added a flair to it, the people here would be more of a "THIS DOESN'T TASTE LIKE WE CHINESE MAKE IT, STUPID FOREIGNER!!" than interested in the mix.

Facebook Aunt posted:

Iunno. Sex-havers are icky.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749412&pagenumber=114&perpage=40#post465451060

I have not seen this before. Hahaha. I remember the anger in this thread from that post. People were up-in-arms about me joking about sending dick pics, but actually she was willing and responded with her own nude photos. That TCM lady was a freak but we never met IRL, even though she sent me tons of photos of her hairless old lady vageen. Old Lady 01 still sends me a message once a week, but I never felt like going over to her house.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 07:49

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Grand Fromage posted:

Not a lot but it's around. Chengdu has some interesting parts of the food scene. There's the basic Sichuan stuff, which is great. There's also a debate happening right now about the future of the food. Some Sichuan chefs are traditionalists and aren't happy with the current food, they think Sichuan has gotten a reputation for super spiciness (which isn't really true) and newer chefs are trying to overdo it by throwing in too many peppers and huajiao and just blowing out the subtleties of the food. Then there are the chefs who are trying to go in the punch you in the face style. There's also a growing organic/farm to table kind of thing going on, there's attempts at increasing the profile of minority food since Sichuan has a decent amount of Chinese minorities, and there's a constantly growing influx of non-Chinese food. Another cool thing is there's a poo poo ton of... I don't know what you'd call them, illegal apartment restaurants? Apartments get converted into small restaurants serving all sorts of really good stuff and you can only find them by word of mouth. Like you wander into this generic apartment block and go up to an unmarked door and inside is fantastic West African food cooked by an awesome Nigerian dude. It's still all very new but it's neat.

hell loving yes west african is great

the things you can do with just plain fish, a few herbs and grill, by the gods

Haier posted:

Not that I've seen in my time in the Mainland (can't say for HK or TW, or other goon experiences). Every non-Chinese restaurant that I've been to (that wasn't a crappy chain restaurant) was owned or run by someone from X country and married to a Chinese and the menu was very non-Chinese. They often had the owner or his/her family doing much of the cooking because I guess it wasn't possible to train other (local) people to do it to the standard they wanted to present. Most people here still think all North American and European people eat sandwiches for lunch and pizza for dinner, seven days per week. I feel like if someone took something Chinese and added a flair to it, the people here would be more of a "THIS DOESN'T TASTE LIKE WE CHINESE MAKE IT, STUPID FOREIGNER!!" than interested in the mix.

to this day I bless my country having horrible food so we're glad and happy to take in anyone willing to do it properly, only for us to then start making it ourselves with our own dreadful twists

# ? Dec 23, 2016 07:54

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

And the delivery services are really good here. So I can send my order and pay to the Nigerian dude on wechat and within the hour a suicidal guy on a motorcycle will knock on my door and hand me my fufu and peanut stew.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 07:59

LentThem: Aug 31, 2004; 90% Retractible

Haier posted:

I feel like if someone took something Chinese and added a flair to it, the people here would be more of a "THIS DOESN'T TASTE LIKE WE CHINESE MAKE IT, STUPID FOREIGNER!!" than interested in the mix.

Yeah I always refer to this as "Chinese people like Chinese things. Exclusively." when it comes to food.

At one of my old jobs a Cold Stone Creamery opened next to the office and they were giving away coupons, so some Chinese coworkers and I went down - it was their first time to have ice cream that wasn't the cheap Lawsons stuff that turns into a wire-like mesh when milk/soda touches it

Cold Stone had a 3-page menu of flavors, like every conceivable base and topping. I had like Rocky Road w/ caramel sauce or something, and all three chinese girls had.......
Green Tea ice cream with Red Bean

"Okay guys here is our chance to try from like 20-30 possible flavors, stuff we've never had before at a quality we've never had before....let's all order the exact same thing, and make sure that it's only flavors we've had before"

in my head i called them stupid fucks and dont think i ever had a non-work conversation with them again. i wasnt missing much

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:08

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

That's so weird.

Normally everyone works together as a team and get different flavours and eats everything together.

And then we all get sick because we just lick our spoons before stabbing in someone else's ice cream

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:11

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

Or the oh we can't order the same thing at the restaurant because we get more value in having a bite of something different

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:12

LentThem: Aug 31, 2004; 90% Retractible

bonus gossip about that story: 2 of the girls were from henan - i hope that helps explain things

of the 3 girls, 1 would often cut her fingernails at her desk and let them shoot onto the carpet
1 would rip farts at her desk and act like nothing happened. also her hair was thinning out and she was only around 26

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:14

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Pirate Radar posted:

I mean, let's be fair and clear here, let's not twist ourselves around trying to stay PC: we obviously don't see the whole chatlogs that Haier has with these women, but if any of the dick pics were unsolicited then that's sexual harassment.

There was no such thing. Everything was fine. I've had the experience of women I am not interested in sending naked photos and it was a big turn-off, so I know how it feels. I don't send my pics to a woman unless she's brought up interest in sexual union, as it should be. I know I seem like I am retarded and I keep getting into weird situations, but a little bit of tact is necessary to get into those weird situations in the first place (G-d bless).

LentThem posted:

also her hair was thinning out and she was only around 26

The making of a beautiful sixhead. My favorites!

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:18

ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

Grand Fromage posted:

And the delivery services are really good here. So I can send my order and pay to the Nigerian dude on wechat and within the hour a suicidal guy on a motorcycle will knock on my door and hand me my fufu and peanut stew.

thanks to uncle haier, I can't have anything to do with peanuts without gagging

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:20

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

I should stop reading this thread while having breakfast.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:22

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

ladron posted:

thanks to uncle haier, I can't have anything to do with peanuts without gagging

Thanks for making me google this out of curiosity.

NSFW
http://imgur.com/nD7B7Qs

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081107095829AAY1WOI

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peanut%20cooch

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vagina%20peanut

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:30

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Haier posted:

There was no such thing. Everything was fine. I've had the experience of women I am not interested in sending naked photos and it was a big turn-off, so I know how it feels. I don't send my pics to a woman unless she's brought up interest in sexual union, as it should be. I know I seem like I am retarded and I keep getting into weird situations, but a little bit of tact is necessary to get into those weird situations in the first place (G-d bless).

The making of a beautiful sixhead. My favorites!

Cool, yeah, sorry if I wasn't clear, I wasn't saying "Haier is a naughty sex criminal". Just that it's an understandable reaction to worry about goons being creepy to women online.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 08:45

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Who most wants to overthrow China?

I guess it's this thread

# ? Dec 23, 2016 09:01

ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

Haier posted:

Thanks for making me google this out of curiosity.

NSFW
http://imgur.com/nD7B7Qs

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081107095829AAY1WOI

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peanut%20cooch

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vagina%20peanut

this is all just confusing me more

# ? Dec 23, 2016 09:27

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

JaucheCharly posted:

Who most wants to overthrow China?

I guess it's this thread

quote:

But the new video ends on a reassuring note. The dark images and language give way to swelling melodies and images of a bright dawn over the Great Wall. There are pictures of smiling people and of muscular People�s Liberation Army troops.

Where'd they get those from? I've only seen fat ones.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 11:11

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

Haier posted:

Where'd they get those from? I've only seen fat ones.

http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/977264.shtml

quote:

It's official: for the first time in human history, there are more obese than underweight people in the world, according to a new study published by the Lancet Medical Journal last week.

The study estimates that 10.8 percent of men and 14.9 percent of women worldwide are obese, which is defined as having a BMI (body mass index) of over 30, while just 8.8 percent of men and 9.7 percent of women are underweight, which is defined as a BMI of under 18.5.

The study pooled data from adults in 186 countries and found that the number of obese people had shot up from 105 million in 1975 to 641 million in 2014.

While obesity is clearly becoming a problem everywhere, the news was especially bad for China - this year it replaced the US as the country with the greatest number of obese people in the world, rising from its number-two ranking in 2014. The numbers are staggering; according to the report, China is home to 43,200,000 obese men and 46,400,000 obese women, accounting for 16.3 percent and 12.4 percent of obese men and women around the world.

"There will be health consequences of magnitudes that we do not know," professor Majid Ezzati, lead author of the study, told AFP.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 11:53

E_P: Feb 22, 2003

BMI is a flawed index and doesn't account for those of us with huge muscles *shovels 3rd hamburger in mouth*

# ? Dec 23, 2016 12:13

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Star Wars Rogue One is coming out in China on January 6th. Anyone who has seen it already: How much of it will be edited out to be harmonious?

# ? Dec 23, 2016 12:23

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

The Rebels will be edited out. It's just the Empire blowing up places, while Donnie Yen will be chanting his Mantra "I am one with the Chinar, there is only one Chinar"

# ? Dec 23, 2016 12:29

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Maybe a little due to a good guy not being a straight up good guy. Some more of the Asian dudes? Ambiguous use of magic might get flagged.

It a bit weird since the CCP could stand in for the Empire.

JaucheCharly posted:

The Rebels will be edited out. It's just the Empire blowing up places, while Donnie Yen will be chanting his Mantra "I am one with the Chinar, there is only one Chinar"

This

# ? Dec 23, 2016 12:36

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

nickmeister posted:

http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/977264.shtml

China has 1/5th of the world population but only 1/6th or 1/8th of the obese, depending on gender. USA still #1, per capital at least.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 13:08

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

HerStuddMuffin posted:

China has 1/5th of the world population but only 1/6th or 1/8th of the obese, depending on gender. USA still #1, per capital at least.

But how much harder did the Chinese have to work to overcome us despite having 4 times the population? Truly, the Chinese will make this century their own!

# ? Dec 23, 2016 13:11

Stringent: Dec 22, 2004; image text goes here

I thought Australia led per capita?

# ? Dec 23, 2016 13:19

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/23/shanghai-water-supply-hit-by-100-tonne-wave-of-garbage?CMP=edit_2221

quote:

Medical waste, broken bottles and household trash are some of the items found in more than 100 tonnes of garbage salvaged near a drinking water reservoir in Shanghai.

The suspected culprits are two ships that have been dumping waste upstream in the Yangtze river. It has then flowed downstream to the reservoir on Shanghai�s Chongming island which is also home to 700,000 people.

The reservoir at the mouth of the river is one of the four main sources of drinking water for the country�s largest city, according to local media.

China has struggled with air, soil and water pollution for years during its economic boom, with officials often protecting industry and silencing citizens that complain. China�s cities are often blanketed in toxic smog, while earlier this year more than 80% of water wells used by farms, factories and rural households was found to be unsafe for drinking because of pollution.

Officials dispatched more than 40 workers to clean up the mess, but the area around the reservoir will take about two weeks to clear, the Shanghai Daily reported. Shanghai�s water authority claims supplies are still safe to drink, but has stopped the flow coming in while it continues testing, the paper said.

Videos circulating on social media showed beaches and wetlands covered in a rainbow of plastic bags.

�There�s enough trash to cover several football fields,� a local resident can be heard saying in one video. Catheter bags and used IV sacks are pulled from the water, and in some places only a sea of trash can be seen, completely obscuring the river water.

�This is so sad, just humanity digging its own grave,� one commenter on Twitter-like Sina Weibo said.

Needles and medical tubes were found in the trash, which has been washing ashore since 5 November. Despite cleanup efforts, a new wave of garbage inundated the island again this week.

Earlier this year more than 500 students developed nosebleeds, rashes and illnesses, some as severe as leukaemia, in what local media linked to illegal toxic dumping by chemical factories.

Although parents complained for months, local officials ignored their claims and disputed any connection despite levels of chlorobenzene, a highly toxic solvent that causes damage to the liver, kidney and nervous system, nearly 100,000 times above the safe limit.

The country�s air pollution has been shown to contribute to more than 1 million deaths a year, linked to about a third of deaths in China�s major cities.

WE SHANGHAINESE ARE THE GREATEST IN CHINA! WE ARE FAR SUPERIOR THAN YOU OTHER STUPID LOWLY HICKS. OUR QUALITY OF LIFE IS SO GOOD IN OUR NUMBER ONE METROPOLIS

Haier fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Dec 23, 2016

# ? Dec 23, 2016 15:11

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

Taiwan number one.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 15:14

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

Stringent posted:

I thought Australia led per capita?

Glorious USA has 5000 years of obesity! You shut your whore mouth!

# ? Dec 23, 2016 15:41

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Last I read Mexico is now the top of the obesity chart, though that might have been excluding some tiny places like Samoa.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 15:42

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Grand Fromage posted:

Last I read Mexico is now the top of the obesity chart, though that might have been excluding some tiny places like Samoa.

How much of this is due to the coke company’s aggressive marketing?

# ? Dec 23, 2016 16:08

ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

Outrail posted:

How much of this is due to the coke company’s aggressive marketing?

I always thought coke made you skinny tho?

# ? Dec 23, 2016 16:13

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Grand Fromage posted:

Last I read Mexico is now the top of the obesity chart, though that might have been excluding some tiny places like Samoa.

It also comes down to whether you're establishing the cutoff at regular obese or morbidly obese, I think US is still number one on the truly incredibly fat fucks.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 16:53

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

P-Mack posted:

It also comes down to whether you're establishing the cutoff at regular obese or morbidly obese, I think US is still number one on the truly incredibly fat fucks.

Someone find those pictures of Chinese parents rolling their grown children around on makeshift dollies because their legs never got strong enough to hold their massive weight.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 17:12

Vesi: Jan 12, 2005; pikachu looking at?

nickmeister posted:

Someone find those pictures of Chinese parents rolling their grown children around on makeshift dollies because their legs never got strong enough to hold their massive weight.

I tried but found something else:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1368790/Lu-Hao-Chinese-toddler-3-weighs-staggering-132lbs-hes-growing.html

Article is otherwise unremarkable but one detail stood out:

quote:

'We took him to three hospitals and one said he has a tumor in the head, while the other two said there is no tumour in the head,' said Yuncheng.

Always do the three-hospital test

# ? Dec 23, 2016 18:01

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

ladron posted:

I always thought coke made you skinny tho?

cartels cutting it with baby milk powder

# ? Dec 23, 2016 18:03

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Lol, 2/3rds of the meth in the Philippines are made by Chinese nationals. If you don't count Hong Kongers.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 18:48

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I'm sure this was brought up before but:

http://dailycaller.com/2016/12/06/leaked-apparently-in-china-women-use-nude-photos-as-collateral-for-loans/

1) Be a Chinese factory girl, want an iPhone

2) Get a loan for ~750USD at 30% from the mob

3) mob demands nude picture with your ID in frame as collateral

4) turns out the mob doesn't have a cyber security department and a ton of the nudes leak

# ? Dec 23, 2016 21:59

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

brb googling stupid girl.zip

# ? Dec 23, 2016 22:23

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# ? May 13, 2024 22:50

ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

McGavin posted:

brb googling stupid girl.zip

stupidgirl.zip.torrent

:smug:

# ? Dec 23, 2016 22:28

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