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My nonanonymous confession is that I think more people should try anabolic steroids.
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Dec 24, 2016 06:03
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| # ? May 9, 2024 21:42 |
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ReidRansom posted:My nonanonymous confession is that I think more people should try anabolic steroids. I tried that but they just made your mom grow a mustache
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Dec 24, 2016 06:04
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Mr. F! posted:I tried that but they just made your mom grow a mustache 
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Dec 24, 2016 15:03
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there is a goon on the last 2 pages of the terrible foods thread posting about cutting his pet turtle open and tearing a bullfrog apart barehanded
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Dec 24, 2016 15:04
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Solice Kirsk posted:Birds are delicious. Never had dog though. Maybe they're delicious too. It's not great. There's a reason more people don't eat dog, and it's not because they're cute.
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Dec 24, 2016 15:29
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Pigs are pretty cute sometimes too, we still eat them because they have the misfortune to be delicious and low-maintenancequote:I think I accidentally built a time machine as a kid, or stumbled upon some kind of wormhole, or maybe I had a stroke or I was just an idiot kid with a bad memory. Yes, a kid building a time machine out of household items is certainly the Occam's-Razor explanation for a set of keys getting temporarily lost quote:My girlfriend is a senior in high school, I'm 36. I always get a hearty laugh at these forums when they get on a moral high horse about dating younger women. Especially certain posters who also post stuff like the online dating thread, the breakup thread, etc. A lot of guys bemoaning their lack of dating prospects, talking about bad breakups, and looking online for love. If you dig in to individual post histories for a few people, it paints a picture of profound sadness, loneliness, and delusion. "Maturity is a myth" -- the kind of guy who dates teenagers in his 30s Sounds about right I dunno man I dated teenagers when it was age-appropriate and let me tell you there certainly wasn't LESS drama involved than dating someone your own age. I'm actually thrilled I no longer have to date someone who will, eg, get mad at me for watching porn or having female friends. also lol if you think teenagers don't cheat
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Dec 24, 2016 16:33
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that guy can gently caress the hell off I thought I was a mature teenage girl when I was dealing w/ an older man. I WASN'T. don't loving take advantage of teenage girls jesus loving CHRIST
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Dec 24, 2016 16:52
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Thanks for sharing anonygoon; one year ago you would have been a statutory rapist! And if she's 18 and you aren't a statutory rapist then this relationship probably started around last month.
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Dec 24, 2016 16:53
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At least try to make it looks like it's not a fake confession.
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Dec 24, 2016 16:59
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Sjs00 posted:Thanks for sharing anonygoon; one year ago you would have been a statutory rapist! The age of consent isn't actually 18 in a lot of places But yeah the r/relationships thread is full of examples of 19-year-olds asking for advice on how to deal with their manchild 35-year-old boyfriends being immature babies about something
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Dec 24, 2016 17:00
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^ there are men who think this way but I want it to be fake so bad  "I'm too ~smart~ to date women my own age, better date a child  "quote:You probably were interested in sex in middle school right? High school for sure? So think of it this way: *screaming*
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Dec 24, 2016 17:00
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 wat the gently caress u postin fake stories in my thread again old man jenkins?? get outta here you jerk rear end
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Dec 24, 2016 17:06
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even if they're legal why would you wanna date anything under 25
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Dec 24, 2016 17:09
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poopnanners posted:
Lmao
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Dec 24, 2016 17:13
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Motherfucker posted:even if they're legal why would you wanna date anything under 25 Um, she's loyal, and sex and pizza and she doesn't make me do adult things like leaving my apartment and hanging around other adults. The guy is the definition of manchild
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Dec 24, 2016 17:37
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My last girlfriend liked to get really drunk and play Tekken or stay in and order a pizza instead of going out. She was 30.
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Dec 24, 2016 18:34
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It's easy to think that maturity is a myth when you're about halfway to the grave and you've never had any.
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Dec 24, 2016 18:52
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Age is just a construct maaan, just like consent laws
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Dec 24, 2016 18:55
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I love how smug the tone of it is yet it was still posted anonymously meaning that on some level there is a sense of shame. Embrace that shame, anonymous manchild. It will strengthen your character.
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Dec 24, 2016 18:56
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The Management posted:Um, she's loyal, and sex and pizza and she doesn't make me do adult things like leaving my apartment and hanging around other adults. The same logic of people who have anime waifus, except these guys aren't afraid of real girls. I'm not sure if that's more or less creepy. At least the people with pillow girlfriends aren't loving up a real impressionable teenager's concept of relationships.
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Dec 24, 2016 19:27
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Remember in The Office when Andy Bernard was dating the high school girl that one episode? That was pretty weird and unfunny.
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Dec 24, 2016 19:30
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Motherfucker posted:even if they're legal why would you wanna date anything under 25 That's really always the core of it. I can't imagine a meaningful relationship with anyone younger than that. People below that age don't even know who they are themselves.
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Dec 24, 2016 22:27
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Police Automaton posted:That's really always the core of it. I can't imagine a meaningful relationship with anyone younger than that. People below that age don't even know who they are themselves. My wife and I are proof it can work, but are more of an exception than the rule. One of my friend's brothers brought her to a party at my house and I assumed she was his age (25-ish) and later I found out she was 20. I thought what the hell, started dating and now almost 10 years later we're happy as ever.
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Dec 25, 2016 00:30
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This one is super silly and made me chucklequote:I am 100% convinced that I'm the strongest man in the world. One time I crushed a soda can without even trying and was like holy poo poo and just stared at my hands in disbelief of the awesome power hidden within them quote:I'm a 26 year old virgin, I'm deathly afraid of women. I dunno when / why this started but essentially I've never been good with girls, I look ok, mildly overweight with long blonde hair but my face is ok and I haven't got massive acne or anything insane like that. Self-sabotage, anxiety, low self-esteem,  Honestly you have to have done a surprising level of introspection to be able to talk about it in this much detail, that's a good start. Go get some help finishing the job.
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Dec 25, 2016 05:17
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hell yeah lemmie break some more white belt toddlers on my knee also don't forget that a man with long hair is essentially self-sabotaging himself daily
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Dec 25, 2016 06:44
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People sure have some weird power tripping fantasies. "Im the biggest bad rear end ever I took a punch in the face LIKE A MAN" :eyeroll: Least the other fake confessions were flexing some creative writing effort.
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Dec 25, 2016 06:56
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I read those last two confessions a little too quickly so my brain ended up merging them and I thought, "Is this guy Terry Bogard???"
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Dec 25, 2016 06:57
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I was once punched in the face and I only cried a little. 
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Dec 25, 2016 06:58
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Incel goon is doing his part to depopulate the planet. He knows his kids would be born into a shitstorm and hellhole of a destroyed planet system! .. Blackbelt goon needs to don a mask and be a super hero
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Dec 25, 2016 07:02
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I remember watching a tv program about an Russian ex-Olympic weightlifter who ran some kind of centre to rehabilitate people after really horrible accidents. This guy really knew the limits of the human body, and came across as an all round cool dude who wanted to help people get as strong as they could after life changing injuries. At one point, when some guy was complaining about not being able to do something because it was too hard, this enormous hairy Zangeif guy had a little Yoda moment: pulled a penny out of his pocket and bent it between his thumb and forefinger. That's the strongest guy I ever saw, 'strongest man in the world' goon.
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Dec 25, 2016 10:14
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There's a really simple way to test if you are the strongest man in the world and that's to sign up for a local MMA competition. But these guys of course never do it. They always have bullshit justifications like their skills can only be used for self-defense or that the rules in the competition make it too much like a game or a sport and so their opponent will be able to win through trickery rather than through strength or talent. This is of course complete nonsense, but it's what they tell themselves so they can go on believing that their pajama fighting masters are the real deal and they'll be just like them someday. Who knows if that particular confession is true or not but I know enough people like this in real life that it doesn't really matter. Many people actually have that opinion and I can't roll my eyes hard enough. And then I'm the rear end in a top hat for sucker punching them in a bar.
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Dec 25, 2016 11:19
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Atlas Hugged posted:There's a really simple way to test if you are the strongest man in the world and that's to sign up for a local MMA competition. Or, you know, the competitions that are explicitly designed to find "the strongest man in the world", those things where they pull trucks around or whatever. You could be strong as hell and be awful at fighting.
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Dec 25, 2016 11:32
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none of those mma fairies could lift up giant boulders and place them atop increasingly tall platforms while being timed. nor do any of them have cool names like sven svorgensen. so mma can suck it
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Dec 25, 2016 12:14
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Anyone else watch Pete & Pete when they were young? 90s kids will remember this strongest man in the world
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Dec 25, 2016 13:50
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loquacius posted:Anyone else watch Pete & Pete when they were young? 90s kids will remember this strongest man in the world Michael Stipe played Captain Scrummy on that show
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Dec 25, 2016 14:31
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If the ultimate strength goon had a neighbor like endless Mike he wouldn't be so cocky.
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Dec 25, 2016 14:48
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loquacius posted:Anyone else watch Pete & Pete when they were young? 90s kids will remember this strongest man in the world Christmas day and all is pipe.
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Dec 25, 2016 15:04
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The twist is that it was a typo all along, he's actually the strangest man in the world
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Dec 25, 2016 15:30
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loquacius posted:The twist is that it was a typo all along, he's actually the strangest man in the world Gary Busey still has that locked down
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Dec 25, 2016 15:52
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| # ? May 9, 2024 21:42 |
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Gloryhold It! posted:Gary Busey still has that locked down I'd say Dennis Rodman also makes a good argument.
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Dec 25, 2016 16:08
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